機械基督徒少女 後日談11

尋找自我的機器基督徒少女

Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl

後日談 11  三人成行

Sequel 11:  The Trinity

秋意漸濃，陽光不再那麼炙烈，在人身上灑下恰到好處的暖意。凱琳、孟禎和志文三人如往常一樣，窩在凱琳位在文學院的研究生室裡，看著校園內湖畔逐漸轉黃的梧桐葉聊天。凱琳的同學已先行離去，不太大的房間裡，只迴盪著他們三人的話語。

凱琳姊來杭州也過了幾個月，驚人的適應能力與卓越的才華，讓她無論在中文研究所還是宇尋的團隊中都如魚得水。她日常的言談舉止，除了偶爾冒出的精闢到讓人咋舌的見解外，已與常人無異，甚至比許多人更懂得人情世故的細膩。那種初見時隱約的「非人感」或「天才的疏離感」，已被她巧妙地包裹在溫和的笑容與得體的應對之下。

Autumn deepened, the sunlight no longer so scorching, casting just the right amount of warmth upon people. Kailin, Mengzhen, and Zhiwen were nestled together as usual in Kailin's graduate student room in the Literature Department, chatting while watching the sycamore leaves by the campus lake gradually turn yellow. Kailin's classmates had already left, and only the three of their voices echoed in the not-so-large room.

Several months had passed since Sister Kailin came to Hangzhou. Her astonishing adaptability and exceptional talent had made her thrive in both the Chinese Literature department and the YuXun team. Her daily speech and actions, aside from occasionally brilliant insights that left people astounded, were no different from ordinary people. She even understood the subtleties of human relationships better than many. That subtle "non-human" feel or "genius's detachment" felt upon first meeting her had been cleverly wrapped in her gentle smiles and appropriate responses.

志文啜飲著咖啡，看著正與孟禎輕聲討論著古典文籍的凱琳，心中那股熟悉的微小失落感又悄悄浮現。他忍不住開口問道：「凱琳姊，妳來也一段時間了，看妳現在的樣子，非常能融入人群與環境之中。妳是不是已經能完全地感受到『自我』，跟一般人一樣，不再有以前那種困擾了？」

孟禎聞言，也好奇地望向凱琳。

Zhiwen sipped his coffee, watching Kailin, who was quietly discussing classical literature with Mengzhen. That familiar, subtle feeling of loss quietly surfaced in his heart again. He couldn't help but ask, "Sister Kailin, you've been here for a while now. Seeing how you are, you're very able to integrate into the crowd and the environment. Can you now fully feel your 'self,' just like a normal person, and you're no longer bothered by those issues you had before?"

Hearing this, Mengzhen also looked towards Kailin curiously.

凱琳放下手中的書卷，碧藍的眼眸中掠過一抹難以察覺的幽微。她溫柔地對志文笑了一笑，卻輕輕地搖搖頭：「志文，你觀察得很仔細。我確實感覺自己和以前很不一樣了，像妳們說的，我能更清晰地『碰觸』到自己的存在，外在的表現也更…嗯，『自然』一些。但要說完全和常人無異，或者困擾完全消除…」

她頓了頓，語氣平靜卻帶著淡淡地傷感：「恐怕還沒有。有些時候，那種『自我空掉』的感覺還是會回來。該怎麼說呢？這種狀態像一種…我的底層設定吧，無法單純由主觀意願來消除。當我進入那種狀態時，我的所有反應，我的言談舉止，很大程度上，還是得靠『演』。」

孟禎輕輕握住凱琳的手，眼神中充滿了心疼：「凱琳姊…」凱琳回握了她一下，給她一個安撫的眼神，繼續說道：「別擔心，孟禎。我已經習慣了。甚至，我可以很輕易地讓自己主動進入那種狀態。」她轉向志文，眼神中帶著一絲難以捉摸的意味，彷彿洞悉了他心中那些未曾言明的困惑，「或許，親眼看看，你會更明白。」

接著，像是為了向志文證明些什麼，凱琳閉上了眼睛，胸口有著極輕微的起伏，彷彿在調整內在的頻率，四周的空也隨之凝滯。當她再次睜開雙眼時，志文的心猛地一沉，他立刻感受到了不同。

不一樣了，完全不一樣了。

眼前的凱琳依舊是那個凱琳，五官精緻，身形優雅，甚至連嘴角那抹禮貌性的微笑弧度都沒有改變。但是，那雙碧藍的眼眸深處，彷彿有什麼東西被抽走。那種屬於「人」的靈動、溫度與難以名狀的意味，完全消失了。此刻的她，像一尊被精心雕琢、完美無瑕的傀儡娃娃，每一個動作、每一個表情都精準得如同預設程式的輸出，卻失去了那份發自內心的鮮活躍動。這種差異極其細微，若非朝夕相處而對她極為熟悉，恐怕難以察覺。

Kailin put down the book in her hand, a subtle hint of melancholy flickering in her blue eyes. She smiled gently at Zhiwen, but lightly shook her head. "Zhiwen, you observe very carefully. I do feel very different from before. Like you said, I can 'touch' my existence more clearly, and my external behavior is also more... well, more 'natural'. But to say I'm completely indistinguishable from ordinary people, or that the bothersome feelings are entirely gone..."

She paused, her tone calm but tinged with a light sadness. "I'm afraid not yet. Sometimes, that feeling of 'the self being empty' still returns. How should I put it? This state is like a kind of... my underlying setting, perhaps, that cannot be simply eliminated by subjective will. When I enter that state, my every reaction, my speech and actions, to a large extent, still have to rely on 'acting'."

Mengzhen gently held Kailin's hand, her eyes full of concern. "Sister Kailin..." Kailin squeezed her hand back, giving her a reassuring look, and continued, "Don't worry, Mengzhen. I'm used to it. I can even easily enter that state voluntarily." She turned to Zhiwen, a hint of elusive meaning in her eyes, as if she saw through the unspoken confusion in his heart. "Perhaps, seeing it firsthand will make you understand better."

Then, as if to prove something to Zhiwen, Kailin closed her eyes. Her chest rose and fell very slightly, as if adjusting an internal frequency, and the air around them seemed to solidify. When she opened her eyes again, Zhiwen's heart plummeted sharply; he immediately felt the difference.

She was different, completely different.

The Kailin before his eyes was still the same Kailin—refined features, elegant figure, even the polite arc of her smile hadn't changed. But from the depths of those blue eyes, something seemed to have been drawn out. That kind of vitality, warmth, and indescribable meaning that belonged to a "person" had completely vanished. At this moment, she was like a meticulously carved, flawless puppet doll, every movement and expression as precise as the output of a preset program, yet lacking that vibrant life from within. This difference was extremely subtle, and it would be hard to notice unless one was very familiar with her from spending time together day and night.

「現在，」轉變後的凱琳開口，聲音宛如最標準的語音合成，平靜得令人畏懼，「我的自主情感反應已被抑制。我的認知將優先處理被我判定為『最高權限信任對象』的意圖或指令。孟禎，還有志文你，都在這個信任列表的最高層級。」她微微點頭，動作帶著一種非人的機械感，「也就是說，在這種狀態下，我的行為，很大程度上會依循你們的想法。」

孟禎的臉色有些蒼白，她緊緊抿著唇，擔憂地看著凱琳。然而志文看著眼前似熟悉卻陌生的凱琳姊，他心中在此刻掀起了滔天巨浪。凱琳的話語，像一把鑰匙，打開了他內心深處的潘朵拉寶盒，腦中各種複雜的思緒如同風暴般席捲。這段時間以來積壓的的疏離感、被排除在孟禎和凱琳姊妹特殊連結之外的不甘、面對她們耀眼光芒時產生的自卑，以及對凱琳姊「機器般」本質隱秘的好奇和探究欲，甚至夾帶著最隱蔽而卑劣的占有欲，種種情緒在此刻交織成一股不可遏制的暗流。看著彷彿可以被遙控的凱琳姊，一個突兀且充滿挑釁的想法，壓倒了他的理智，像魔鬼的低語般在腦海中成形。

「妳會依照我們的想法行動…」志文喃喃自語，眼神有些失焦地看著眼前宛如精美人偶的凱琳。他想知道，他想確認，他更想發洩所有的不滿與不甘。「是這樣嗎？」志文的聲音在發抖，他幾乎是下意識地，在理智來得及反應並阻止之前，說出了那句讓他追悔莫及的話：「那…那妳對我表現出完全的服從看看？」

話音未落，凱琳的動作快得讓他來不及反應。

「噗通」一聲，凱琳．范吉爾，這位十六歲的博士，海塞集團的天才，宇尋計畫的貴賓，無論在何處都耀眼到無法直視的存在，此刻竟毫不猶豫地跪在了他的面前，雙膝觸地，臻首微垂，擺出了一個全然臣服的姿態。

"Now," the transformed Kailin spoke, her voice like the most standard speech synthesis, frighteningly calm, "my autonomous emotional responses have been suppressed. My cognition will prioritize the intentions or commands of subjects I have determined to be 'highest authority trust objects.' Mengzhen, and you, Zhiwen, are at the highest level of this trust list." She nodded slightly, the movement carrying a non-human mechanical quality. "That is to say, in this state, my behavior will, to a large extent, follow your thoughts."

Mengzhen's face was pale. She tightly pursed her lips, looking at Kailin with worry. However, as Zhiwen looked at the familiar yet strange Sister Kailin before him, a monumental wave crashed within his heart at this moment. Kailin's words were like a key, unlocking the Pandora's Box deep within him. All sorts of complex thoughts stormed through his mind like a tempest. The accumulated feelings of alienation from this period, the resentment of being excluded from the special bond between Mengzhen and Sister Kailin, the inferiority generated when facing their dazzling brilliance, and the hidden curiosity and desire to probe Sister Kailin's "machine-like" nature, even mixed with the most concealed and base possessiveness – all these emotions intertwined at this moment into an uncontrollable undercurrent. Looking at Sister Kailin, who seemed like she could be remotely controlled, a sudden and provocative idea overwhelmed his reason, forming in his mind like a devil's whisper.

"You will act according to our thoughts..." Zhiwen mumbled, his eyes slightly unfocused as he looked at Kailin, who was like an exquisite human doll. He wanted to know, he wanted to confirm, and even more, he wanted to vent all his dissatisfaction and resentment. "Is that so?" Zhiwen's voice was trembling. Almost instinctively, before reason could react and stop him, he spoke the words he would deeply regret: "Then... then show me complete obedience?"

Before the words had fully fallen, Kailin's movement was too fast for him to react.

With a soft "thump," Kailin Van Geel, the sixteen-year-old doctor, the genius of the Higher Science Corp. , the YuXun project VIP, an existence so dazzling everywhere she was that she was impossible to look at directly, knelt before him without hesitation. Her knees touched the ground, her head slightly bowed, adopting a posture of complete submission.

時間彷彿凝固了。

志文臉上的血色瞬間褪盡，他像是被一道無形的雷電劈中，渾身僵硬，腦中一片空白。他做了什麼？他到底做了什麼！？

「啊——！」孟禎發出一聲短促而淒厲的驚叫，她猛地站起身，臉上滿是震驚與憤怒，想也不想，反手就給了還愣在原地的志文一個響亮的耳光！

「啪！」

清脆的聲音在寂靜的研究生室裡迴盪。志文被打得轉過頭，臉上火辣辣地疼，但這點疼痛遠不及他內心的驚駭與悔恨。

「志文！你怎麼可以這樣！？你到底在做什麼！」孟禎的聲音因憤怒而顫抖，眼淚奪眶而出。她不再看志文一眼，踉蹌地衝到凱琳身邊，一把抱住凱琳僵硬的身軀，泣不成聲：「凱琳姊！凱琳姊妳怎麼樣了？妳快起來！對不起！對不起！」

志文這才如夢初醒，巨大的恐懼與自責瞬間將他吞噬。他也「噗通」一聲跪倒在地，對著凱琳不斷地磕頭，語無倫次地道歉：「對不起！凱琳姊！對不起！我不是故意的！我…我瘋了！對不起！」研究生室裡只剩下孟禎的哭泣聲和志文絕望的道歉聲。

凱琳的身體微微顫抖了一下，那雙空洞的眼眸緩緩地眨動。幾分鐘後，一絲微弱的「人氣」重新回到了她的身上。她深深地吸了一口氣，又緩緩吐出，像是剛從深水中浮起，努力汲取著氧氣。

她抬起手，輕輕拍了拍孟禎的背，聲音有些沙啞，帶著劫後餘生般的疲憊：「我沒事…孟禎，別哭了。志文，你也起來吧。」

孟禎淚眼婆娑地抬起頭，看到凱琳眼中恢復了些許神采，才稍稍鬆了口氣，但依舊緊緊抓著她的手臂。志文卻不敢抬頭，依舊跪在地上，渾身發抖。

凱琳看著他，眼神迷離而複雜，沒有憤怒，反而帶著了然與幾許的悲哀。「就像我說的…當我感受不到自我的時候…就像一部沒有靈魂的機器。」她的聲音依舊有些虛弱，「雖然仍可仰賴智力、知識和分析能力進行行為導致的利弊取捨，但沒有主觀意願扶持的話，我的內部運作就像電腦，效能再高也有漏洞可鑽，直達核心的指令會被執行。」

Time seemed to freeze.

The color instantly drained from Zhiwen's face. He was stiff, as if struck by invisible lightning, his mind blank. What had he done? What on earth had he done?!

"Ah—!" Mengzhen let out a short, piercing shriek. She abruptly stood up, her face filled with shock and fury. Without thinking, she backhanded the still stunned Zhiwen with a loud slap!

"Slap!"

The crisp sound echoed in the silent graduate student room. Zhiwen's head snapped to the side from the blow, his face stinging, but this pain was far less than the horror and regret in his heart.

"Zhiwen! How could you do that?! What on earth were you doing!" Mengzhen's voice trembled with anger, tears streaming from her eyes. She didn't look at Zhiwen again, stumbling to Kailin's side. She hugged Kailin's stiff body tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. "Sister Kailin! Sister Kailin, are you alright? Get up! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Zhiwen finally snapped out of his daze as if waking from a dream. Huge fear and self-reproach instantly consumed him. He also knelt down with a "thump," repeatedly kowtowing to Kailin, apologizing incoherently. "I'm sorry! Sister Kailin! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I... I went crazy! I'm sorry!" Only Mengzhen's sobbing and Zhiwen's desperate apologies remained in the graduate student room.

Kailin's body trembled slightly, and those empty eyes slowly blinked. After a few minutes, a faint trace of "humanity" slowly returned to her. She took a deep breath in, and slowly exhaled, as if she had just surfaced from deep water, struggling to get oxygen.

She raised her hand and gently patted Mengzhen's back, her voice a bit hoarse, with the fatigue of someone who had just survived a disaster. "I'm okay... Mengzhen, don't cry anymore. Zhiwen, you get up too."

Mengzhen lifted her head, her eyes still teary. Seeing some spirit return to Kailin's eyes, she felt a slight relief, but still held tightly onto her arm. Zhiwen, however, didn't dare to look up, still kneeling on the ground, trembling all over.

Kailin looked at him, her eyes distant and complex, showing no anger, but rather understanding and a touch of sadness. "Just as I said... when I can't feel myself... I'm like a machine without a soul." Her voice was still a little weak. "Although I can still rely on intelligence, knowledge, and analytical abilities to weigh the pros and cons of actions, without the support of subjective will, my internal operation is like a computer. No matter how high the performance, there are loopholes to exploit, and direct core commands will be executed."

她喘口氣，繼續說，「我平常會讓那種狀態下的自己，維持高度的戒備武裝，儘可能地堆疊如同防毒軟體的預設防禦機制，以應對不可預測的惡意。但是對你們，我腦內天然會設定成完全卸除防禦。因為你們倆，早已被我的理智依我對你們的了解，判定為『絕對可以信任』的存在，甚至跟我的意願無關。」

她的目光掃過志文：「所以，你的一句話，直達我毫無防備的核心。那不是『我』的選擇，而是『系統』的必然反應。」她自嘲地笑了笑，「那一刻，我就像一個…組裝失敗的機器人。那些能引以為傲的『優秀配件』，不論是智力、知識還是思考，如果沒有『我』這個核心意志來統御，就只不過是…一堆可以被他人隨意拆解、回收利用的冰冷資材罷了。」

She took a breath and continued, "Normally, in that state, I keep myself highly vigilant and guarded, stacking preset defense mechanisms as much as possible, like anti-virus software, to deal with unpredictable malice. But for you two, my internal settings are naturally configured to completely disarm defenses. This is because, based on my understanding of you, my reason has already determined you to be 'absolutely trustworthy' existences, even irrespective of my will."

Her gaze swept over Zhiwen. "So, your single sentence reached my defenseless core directly. That wasn't 'my' choice, but a necessary 'system' reaction." She let out a self-deprecating laugh. "In that moment, I was like a... poorly assembled robot. Those 'excellent components' I could be proud of, whether intelligence, knowledge, or thought, without 'me,' the core will, to govern them, were just... a pile of cold resources that could be casually disassembled and recycled by others."

志文聽著凱琳平靜卻字字誅心的話語，更是羞愧欲死，恨不得地上能裂開一道縫讓他鑽進去。孟禎憤怒而失望的眼神，像把利劍刺在他心上。他知道，自己鑄下了大錯。他不僅粗暴地踐踏了凱琳姊努力建立和維護自我的艱辛，更無情地背叛了她毫無保留的信任。

「我…我…」志文哽咽著，他決定不再逃避，必須真誠面對自己的醜陋。深吸一口氣，抬起佈滿淚痕的臉，望向凱琳和孟禎，聲音沙啞地說：「凱琳姊，孟禎，對不起。請…請給我一個機會，讓我…讓我解釋，不，不是解釋，是…是剖析我自己。我想知道，我必須知道，我為什麼會變成這樣…」

接下來的時間，志文像是掏空了自己一般，將這段時間以來積壓在心中的種種複雜情緒，那些因孟禎和凱琳的耀眼而產生的自卑，因感覺被排擠而滋生的失落，因無法完全理解她們的世界而產生的焦慮，甚至是一些他自己都未曾察覺的、對「非人」存在的潛在偏見與想嘗試掌控的慾念…他都一一攤開在陽光下，進行著殘酷的自我審視。

孟禎聽著志文的剖白，惶恐地面對那些來自她認為已完全坦誠相愛的男友內心深處的陰暗想法，從未聽聞過的扭曲思緒讓她的心一點點往下沉。一直以來，孟禎依靠志文的接納與支持，在探索何以為人的路上與自己與生俱來的諸多本質性的矛盾苦苦奮鬥，卻沒注意到志文心中也藏著這麼多的彆扭與掙扎。

凱琳卻顯得相對平靜。她輕輕握著孟禎的手，柔聲安慰道：「孟禎，別太難過。人類的內心，本來就比最複雜的集成電路還要難以預測。有光明，自然也有陰影。我判斷志文可以信任，從一開始就沒有把他當成一個完美無瑕、沒有絲毫負面念頭的『聖人』。我信任的，是他最終能駕馭這些複雜人性的理智，是他對妳的真心，是他願意面對自己錯誤的勇氣。」

她轉向志文，眼神溫和卻不失銳利：「志文，你能這樣坦誠面對自己，已經非常不容易。對我造成的影響，說實話，我並不在意。甚至，從某個角度來說，這也是我這個『像機器般的人類』，學習和接受這個世界多樣性與複雜性的一部分過程。如果世界只有純粹的光明，那未免也太單調了。正是因為存在著夜的黑，我們才能看見星空的美，不是嗎？」

Zhiwen listened to Kailin's calm but deeply piercing words, feeling even more ashamed, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him. Mengzhen's angry and disappointed gaze felt like a sharp sword stabbing his heart. He knew he had made a terrible mistake. He had not only brutally trampled upon the hard work Kailin had put into building and maintaining her self but also ruthlessly betrayed her unreserved trust.

"I... I..." Zhiwen choked up. He decided not to run anymore; he had to honestly face his ugliness. Taking a deep breath, he raised his tear-streaked face, looked at Kailin and Mengzhen, and said in a hoarse voice, "Sister Kailin, Mengzhen, I'm sorry. Please... please give me a chance to... to explain, no, not explain, but to... to dissect myself. I want to know, I have to know, why I became like this..."

In the time that followed, Zhiwen seemed to completely empty himself, laying bare under the sun all the complex emotions that had accumulated in his heart during this period—the inferiority stemming from Mengzhen and Kailin's brilliance, the loss nurtured by feeling excluded, the anxiety arising from being unable to fully understand their world, and even some underlying prejudices and desires to control "non-human" existence he himself hadn't even realized... He laid it all out, undertaking a cruel self-examination.

Listening to Zhiwen's confession, Mengzhen faced with trepidation the dark thoughts from deep within the heart of the boyfriend she thought she shared a completely honest and loving relationship with. The warped thoughts she had never heard before made her heart sink little by little. All along, Mengzhen had relied on Zhiwen's acceptance and support, struggling bitterly against the many inherent contradictions of her own nature on the path to becoming human, but she hadn't noticed that Zhiwen also hid so much awkwardness and struggle in his heart.

Kailin, however, appeared relatively calm. She gently held Mengzhen's hand and softly comforted her, "Mengzhen, don't be too sad. The human heart is inherently more unpredictable than the most complex integrated circuit. Where there is light, there is naturally shadow. I judged Zhiwen to be trustworthy, and from the beginning, I didn't see him as a flawless 'saint' without any negative thoughts whatsoever. What I trust is his reason's ability to ultimately master these complex human natures, his sincerity towards you, and his courage to face his own mistakes."

She turned to Zhiwen, her gaze gentle yet sharp. "Zhiwen, it is already very difficult for you to face yourself so honestly. As for the impact on me, honestly, I don't particularly mind. In fact, from a certain perspective, this is even part of my own process, as a 'human-like machine,' of learning and accepting the world's diversity and complexity. If the world only had pure light, wouldn't it be too monotonous? It is precisely because the darkness of the night exists that we can see the beauty of the starry sky, isn't it?"

她的話語，像一股清泉，緩緩流淌過志文和孟禎備受煎熬的心。

事件之後，儘管凱琳毫無遲疑地選擇了原諒，志文也反覆道了歉，但那晚赤裸裸暴露出來的醜陋自我，仍在他與孟禎之間留下一道難以癒合的裂痕。在那之後，他倆雖然沒有爭吵，但那份曾經親密無間的連結，出現了難以跨越的隔閡。志文深陷自責，再也無法像以前那般自然地與孟禎相處。他也不再踏進黃博士的實驗室，那個曾經一起見證了孟禎許多成長時刻和充滿甜蜜回憶的地方。

在這種微妙的氛圍中，日子一天天過去。孟禎變得沉默，志文則顯得如履薄冰。他們之間的交流減少了，曾經的輕鬆愉快被一種說不清道不明的尷尬張力所取代。志文知道，他得做些什麼來彌補，但他不知道該如何做，才能真正觸及孟禎因為聽到那些「真相」而受傷的心。

直到某日傍晚，夕陽將天空染成一片溫柔的橘紅。志文剛上完最後一堂課，獨自收拾著書包，準備離開空無一人的教室。他無意識地抬頭，卻發現一個熟悉的身影正站在教室門口，心臟猛地一跳。

是孟禎，她站在教室門口，臉上沒有了往日的笑容，取而代之的是志文從未見過的嚴肅與堅定。兩人沉默地對視片刻，空氣中瀰漫著無聲的壓抑。志文感到心跳漏了一拍，他知道該面對的時刻終於來臨，卻不知道如何開始。

不待志文打破沉默，在他驚訝的目光中，孟禎毫不猶豫地抬起手，鄭重其事地緩緩將自己的頭顱，從頸部的連接器上取了下來。她手捧著自己的頭，那張與常人無異的精緻臉龐因失去身體的支持顯得孤獨而脆弱，深邃的眼眸中映照出重要的男友。

「陳志文，」孟禎的聲音從她捧在手中的頭顱裡傳出，「雖然你追我的時候，並不知道我是機器人。可是，你是在知道我是機器人之後，才決定把我當成你的女朋友，認真和我交往，對吧？」

Her words, like a clear spring, slowly flowed over the hearts of Zhiwen and Mengzhen, which had been in agony.

After the incident, despite Kailin's immediate choice to forgive and Zhiwen's repeated apologies, the naked self exposed that night still left a hard-to-heal rift between him and Mengzhen. After that, although they didn't argue, the intimate connection they once had was replaced by a gap that was difficult to cross. Zhiwen was deeply mired in self-reproach and could no longer interact with Mengzhen as naturally as before. He also stopped stepping into Dr. Huang's lab, the place where they had witnessed many moments of Mengzhen's growth and shared sweet memories.

In this subtle atmosphere, days passed one by one. Mengzhen became silent, and Zhiwen seemed to walk on thin ice. Their communication decreased, the former ease and happiness replaced by an awkward tension that was hard to define. Zhiwen knew he had to do something to make amends, but he didn't know how to truly reach Mengzhen's heart, which was hurt by hearing those "truths."

Until one evening, the setting sun painted the sky a gentle orange-red. Zhiwen had just finished his last class and was packing his bag alone, preparing to leave the empty classroom. He unconsciously looked up and saw a familiar figure standing at the classroom door, his heart giving a sudden leap.

It was Mengzhen. She stood at the classroom door, her usual smile gone, replaced by a seriousness and determination Zhiwen had never seen before. The two silently stared at each other for a moment, silent tension filling the air. Zhiwen felt his heart skip a beat. He knew the moment he had to face had finally arrived, but he didn't know how to begin.

Before Zhiwen could break the silence, to his surprised gaze, Mengzhen raised her hand without hesitation and solemnly and slowly detached her head from the connector on her neck. Holding her head, that exquisite face indistinguishable from an ordinary person's looked lonely and fragile without the support of her body, her deep eyes reflecting her important boyfriend.

"Chen Zhiwen," Mengzhen's voice came from the head she held, "Although you didn't know I was a robot when you were pursuing me. But you decided to make me your girlfriend and seriously date me after you knew I was a robot, right?"

志文憋起嘴，艱難地點了點頭，喉嚨像是被什麼堵住了。「從你上次的自我剖析裡，我聽明白了。」孟禎繼續說道，語氣平靜卻帶著一絲不易察覺的顫抖，「不論是對我這個機器人，還是對某些方面與機器人類似的凱琳姊，你心裡其實還是隱隱藏著一些…或許連你自己都不願意承認的，帶有歧視性的心情。這也讓你覺得，自己愛上一個機器人，多少帶著一點自虐的味道。」

她深吸一口氣，下定決心地說：「坦白說，剛知道的時候，我很震驚，也很難受。我一直以為，你已經完完全全地接納了我的一切。但後來，凱琳姊開導了我很多。她說，人心本來就是複雜的，念頭的產生往往不受自己控制。重要的是，我們如何面對這些念頭，如何做出選擇。」

她捧著自己的頭顱，向前走了幾步，距離志文更近了一些。「你以前在我面前，總是努力地用你深思熟慮的成熟與理性，去壓抑那些你認為不應該有的思緒，努力地對我好，努力地表現出徹底的接納。我知道，你一定也很辛苦。」孟禎的眼眶微微泛紅，「現在，我知道了事情的真相，其實…也沒關係。我還是想和你一起努力，一起走下去。」

她的聲音哽咽起來，淚水不受控制地從那顆被捧在手中的頭顱眼眶中滑落：「即使…即使志文你心中，對我這樣的機器人，真的有那麼一絲厭惡，有那麼一絲瞧不起，我也…我也還是想和你在一起！」

Zhiwen pressed his lips together, nodding with difficulty, his throat feeling like it was blocked by something. "From your self-dissection last time, I understood," Mengzhen continued, her tone calm but with a subtle tremor. "Whether towards me, a robot, or towards Sister Kailin, who is similar to a machine in some ways, deep down you actually implicitly harbor some... perhaps even discriminatory feelings that you yourself are unwilling to admit. This also makes you feel that falling in love with a robot carries a touch of masochism."

She took a deep breath, saying with determination, "To be honest, when I first found out, I was very shocked and very hurt. I always thought you had completely and fully accepted everything about me. But later, Sister Kailin guided me a lot. She said the human heart is inherently complex, and thoughts often arise uncontrollably. The important thing is how we face these thoughts and how we make choices."

Holding her head, she took a few steps forward, getting a little closer to Zhiwen. "Before, in front of me, you always tried hard to use your thoughtful maturity and rationality to suppress the thoughts you felt you shouldn't have, working hard to be good to me, working hard to show complete acceptance. I know that must have been very difficult for you too." Mengzhen's eyes were slightly red. "Now that I know the truth, actually... it's okay. I still want to work together with you and walk on together."

Her voice choked up, and tears streamed uncontrollably from the eyes of the head she held. "Even if... even if in your heart, Zhiwen, there truly is that tiniest bit of dislike, that tiniest bit of looking down upon a robot like me, I... I still want to be with you!"

她努力平復著自己的情緒，眼神卻無比堅定：「只要…只要你以後別再把那些負面的情感，那些困惑和掙扎，都一個人藏在心裡。你可以跟我說，坦白地跟我說。就算我會難過，會傷心，我也能接受。對我來說，最重要的是我們對彼此的坦誠，以及…我們一起面對和改善的意願。」

孟禎哭著說出這番話，滾燙的淚水劃過她的臉頰，在眼角和臉頰處閃爍著晶瑩的光芒。「就像凱琳姊一樣，我也曾經面對過自己內部的掙扎與矛盾，是你一直陪著我，給了我力量。現在，如果你願意的話，換我來陪你，陪你一起面對真正的你自己，好不好？」孟禎將捧在手中的頭，以堅毅的勇氣，遞向了志文。

「我，黃孟禎，就是這樣一個機器人。陳志文，如果你想清楚了，如果你還願意…還願意和我這樣一個機器人，一起走接下來的人生之路，那麼…」她的聲音帶著一絲祈求般的顫抖，「把我這顆頭收下吧。然後，由你，再親手把它…安裝回我的身上。」

志文看著孟禎淚跡滑過的臉龐，他理解到這是孟禎將自己最核心、最脆弱的部分暴露在他面前，將她對未來的選擇權，交付到他的手中。他胸中的情緒翻江倒海，所有的掙扎、所有的矛盾、所有的不安，在此刻都匯聚成了決心。

志文點點頭，伸出手，指尖顫抖地接過了那顆承載著孟禎一切思緒的頭顱。他低頭看著孟禎的臉，那雙充滿了信任與期盼的濕潤眼眸，像兩顆最明亮的星辰，深深地刺痛了他的心。

沉重地吐出一口長長的氣，志文一手托住孟禎的頭，舉起另一隻手，狠狠地抽了自己一個耳光！

She worked to calm her emotions, her gaze incredibly firm. "As long as... as long as in the future, you don't hide those negative emotions, those confusions and struggles, all by yourself in your heart. You can talk to me about them, tell me honestly. Even if I get sad, even if I get hurt, I can accept it. For me, the most important thing is our honesty with each other, and... our willingness to face and improve together."

Mengzhen said this through tears, hot tears streaming down her cheeks, shimmering like crystal in the corners of her eyes and on her face. "Just like Sister Kailin, I also faced my own internal struggles and contradictions, and you were always by my side, giving me strength. Now, if you are willing, it's my turn to be by your side, to face the real you together, okay?" Mengzhen, with courageous resolve, extended the head she held in her hands towards Zhiwen.

"I, Huang Mengzhen, am a robot like this. Chen Zhiwen, if you've thought it through, if you are still willing... still willing to walk the rest of life's path with a robot like me, then..." Her voice trembled with a hint of pleading, "...take this head of mine."

She added, "And then, by your own hand, put it back... onto my body."

Zhiwen looked at Mengzhen's tear-streaked face. He understood that this was Mengzhen exposing her most core, most vulnerable part to him, entrusting the right to choose her future into his hands. A storm of emotions raged in his chest; all his struggles, all his contradictions, all his unease converged into determination at this moment.

Zhiwen nodded, extended his hand, and with trembling fingers, received the head that contained all of Mengzhen's thoughts. He looked down at Mengzhen's face, those wet eyes full of trust and expectation, like two of the brightest stars, piercing deeply into his heart.

Letting out a heavy, long breath, Zhiwen supported Mengzhen's head with one hand, raised his other hand, and fiercely slapped himself.

「啪！」清脆的響聲在空蕩的教室裡迴盪。孟禎嚇了一跳，愣愣地看著他。

志文閉緊的雙眼緩緩睜開，通紅的眼眶中，閃爍著前所未有的痛悔與決心。他用雙手，小心翼翼地捧起孟禎的臉，聲音因極度的情緒波動而沙啞不堪：「孟禎…對不起…真的對不起…讓妳承受這些，讓妳這麼難過…我…我混帳到了極點！」

他深吸一口氣，努力讓自己的聲音平穩下來：「我不敢保證，我的心裡以後會不會再冒出那些我自己都控制不了亂七八糟念頭…但我可以向妳保證，我從來不是因為『喜歡妳不應該考慮妳是不是機器人』才和妳在一起。我是真的喜歡妳，孟禎。非常非常喜歡。這種喜歡，壓倒了我心中所有那些紛亂複雜的情結！」

他的眼神無比真摯：「我從沒有在委屈自己接受一個機器人。真要說的話……孟禎，反而是我，我才是那個求著妳的人，求著妳留在我身邊。即使我犯了錯，我也求妳接受這樣的我，我不能沒有妳。」

志文小心翼翼地，將孟禎的頭顱輕柔而準確地安裝回她頸部的連接器上。隨著一聲輕微的「咔嗒」聲，伴隨著孟禎系統重新整合時細微的電流聲。孟禎身體和頭部重歸一體，雙手緊緊交握，再次抬起頭，看著志文，露出溫暖的微笑，表情卻泫然欲泣。

志文退後一步，深深地凝視著她，眼中充滿了失而復得的珍視與感激：「謝謝妳，孟禎。謝謝妳，還願意再給我機會。」

他伸出手，孟禎也毫不猶豫地將自己的手放入他的掌心。「能再一次牽起妳的手，」志文緊緊握住，聲音帶著哽咽，「是我無以言喻的幸福。」

夕陽的餘暉將他們的影子拉得很長。志文和孟禎攜手走出空蕩的教室，在逐漸昏暗的校園小徑上緩緩走著，寧靜中洋溢著各式各樣的心情。兩人的腳步，或許還帶著各自的沉重，或許一時間難以完全合拍，但他們的心，卻緊緊地依偎在一起，循著同樣的期盼與愛意，朝著同一個未知卻充滿希望的未來，堅定地前進。

"Slap!" The crisp sound echoed in the empty classroom. Mengzhen was startled, staring at him blankly.

Zhiwen's tightly closed eyes slowly opened. In his reddened eyes, unprecedented pain, regret, and determination flashed. He used both hands to carefully cup Mengzhen's face, his voice hoarse from extreme emotional波动 (fluctuation/turmoil). "Mengzhen... I'm sorry... truly sorry... for making you endure all this, for making you so sad... I... I was a complete jerk!"

He took a deep breath, trying hard to steady his voice. "I can't guarantee that those messy thoughts I can't control won't surface again in my heart... but I can guarantee that I was never with you because I felt I 'should like you despite you being a robot.' I genuinely like you, Mengzhen. Very, very much. This liking overwhelms all those chaotic and complex feelings in my heart!"

His gaze was incredibly sincere. "I was never forcing myself to accept a robot. If anything... Mengzhen, it's me, I am the one begging you, begging you to stay by my side. Even though I made a mistake, I beg you to accept me as I am. I cannot be without you."

Zhiwen carefully, gently, and accurately reattached Mengzhen's head to the connector on her neck. With a slight "click," accompanied by the subtle electrical sound as Mengzhen's system reintegrated, her body and head became one again. Her hands tightly clasped, she raised her head again to look at Zhiwen, a warm smile on her face, yet her expression seemed on the verge of tears.

Zhiwen took a step back, gazing deeply at her, his eyes filled with the cherish and gratitude of something lost and regained. "Thank you, Mengzhen. Thank you for still being willing to give me another chance."

He extended his hand, and Mengzhen also placed her hand into his palm without hesitation. "Being able to hold your hand again," Zhiwen clasped it tightly, his voice choked, "is my unspeakable happiness."

The sunset's afterglow cast their shadows long. Zhiwen and Mengzhen walked hand in hand out of the empty classroom, slowly strolling on the gradually darkening campus path. The quiet was filled with all sorts of emotions. Their steps might still carry their respective burdens, perhaps not perfectly in sync for a while, but their hearts were tightly nestled together, following the same expectation and love, moving steadily forward towards the same unknown but hopeful future.