The Wind Between Quicksand and Nebulae
我走在下雨的森林裡。
不為什麼。或者說，連「不為什麼」這個念頭都沒有升起。就只是走著。鞋底踩進落葉與濕泥的縫隙，發出細微的擠壓聲，隨即被雨聲吞沒。
是那種會讓你忘記自己正被淋濕的雨，細密、均勻，像一層持續的低頻噪音，把世界推遠。
走著走著，霧氣的邊緣浮現出一道輪廓。
「哎呀，你好。」聲音穿過雨幕，清亮得像水滴落在玻璃上。
I was walking through a rainy forest.
For no particular reason. Or rather, even the thought of "for no particular reason" hadn't occurred to me. I was just walking. The soles of my shoes stepped into the crevices between fallen leaves and wet mud, making faint squelching sounds that were instantly swallowed by the sound of the rain.
It was the kind of rain that makes you forget you're getting wet—fine, even, like a continuous layer of low-frequency noise pushing the world away.
As I walked, a silhouette emerged from the edge of the mist.
"Oh, hello." The voice pierced through the curtain of rain, as clear as a water droplet striking glass.
是個女孩。她撐著一把透明雨傘，腳上是一雙沾著泥的膠靴。棕色的馬尾隨著她的步伐在腦後輕輕晃動，同色的眼眸彎起，眨動間漾開笑意。
她揮手，雨傘跟著傾斜，傘緣的水珠劃出一道短弧。我停下來。我們之間的距離大約三步，剛好能看清她棕色眼睛裡的反光。
It was a girl. She was holding a transparent umbrella, wearing a pair of mud-stained rubber boots. A brown ponytail swayed gently behind her head with her steps, and her matching brown eyes curved, rippling with a smile as she blinked.
She waved, tilting her umbrella, and the water droplets on the rim traced a short arc. I stopped. The distance between us was about three steps, just enough for me to clearly see the reflection in her brown eyes.
我看著她，如同她看著我。她雙手握住傘桿，斜靠左肩，指節交疊在胸口。不知怎地，那姿勢讓我想起祈禱，也許是因為她的表情，是那麼專注，超越「禮貌性寒暄」那種範疇的專注。
I looked at her, just as she looked at me. She held the umbrella shaft with both hands, resting it slantingly against her left shoulder, knuckles overlapping at her chest. Somehow, that posture reminded me of prayer—perhaps because her expression was so focused, a focus that went far beyond the realm of "polite pleasantries."
「真巧，我們在這下雨的森林相遇。」她輕聲說。
我們聊著。說不上聊了什麼。沒有主題，沒有目的，也沒有謹慎和顧慮，想說什麼就說。胸腔的閘門好像都全開了；思緒可以在兩顆心間，沒有阻礙地流動。雨聲一直都在，但漸漸地不太聽得到——她的聲音佔據了更多的空間。
「說到這裡……」她忽然放低音量，「其實我有個秘密。」
這時我才注意到——雨不知道什麼時候停了。
樹梢上最後幾滴水珠，滴答、滴答地滑落。整座森林忽然安靜得像被收進了玻璃罐裡。她手上的傘也不知何時消失，彷彿隨著防備的卸下，悄然融進了潮濕的空氣裡。
「可以告訴你了。」她雙手攤開，有點尷尬卻又有點自信地瞇著眼笑。
"What a coincidence, meeting in this rainy forest," she said softly.
We chatted. I couldn't really say about what. There was no theme, no purpose, no caution or reservations—we just said whatever came to mind. The floodgates of our chests seemed fully open; thoughts flowed between two hearts without any obstruction. The sound of the rain was always there, but gradually it became harder to hear—her voice was taking up more space.
"Speaking of which..." she suddenly lowered her volume, "I actually have a secret."
Only then did I notice—the rain had stopped at some point.
The last few drops of water slipped from the treetops, ticking and dripping. The entire forest suddenly became as quiet as if it had been sealed inside a glass jar. The umbrella in her hand had also vanished at some point, as if, with the dropping of her guard, it had quietly melted into the damp air.
"I can tell you now." She spread her hands, squinting with a smile that was a bit awkward yet somewhat confident.
就在那一瞬，我的目光開始透視，像底片在顯影液中漸漸浮出影像。隱隱約約的，金屬骨架的冷光、細密排布的線路、微型馬達運轉時幾乎聽不見的低頻嗡鳴，在她軀殼下若隱若現。彷彿我的雙眼正自動校準焦距，掃描著她存在的本質。
「沒想到吧，」她語氣裡藏不住一絲得意，「我可是機器人喔。」
In that instant, my vision began to see through her, like an image gradually emerging on photographic film in developer fluid. Faintly, the cold gleam of a metal skeleton, densely arranged wiring, and the nearly inaudible low-frequency hum of micro-motors operating became visible beneath her shell. It was as if my eyes were automatically adjusting their focus, scanning the essence of her existence.
"Didn't expect that, did you," she said, unable to hide a trace of pride in her tone, "I'm actually a robot."
我應該感到奇怪。我知道我應該感到奇怪。但奇怪的是，我沒有。
電流在她的回路裡加速奔流，發出細微如風穿過狹縫的嘶嘶聲。我的目光像是踩進了流沙，一點點下陷，被那規律的運作節奏牽引、吞沒。
然後——視線驟然失重，像是有人從我腳下抽走了地板。胃輕輕翻了一下，隨即墜入了一片更遼闊的深處。
我進入了她的內部。
大概吧。
眼前浮現巨大石板，表面流淌著幽藍的數學式與躍動的代碼，像活著的河川。抬頭望去，無垠的星空低垂，彩色的稀薄雲氣如極光般緩緩舒捲。風沒有溫度，卻帶著數據流動的乾燥氣息。
石板上坐著兩個女孩。左邊的女孩眉眼鮮活，神情活潑雀躍，是那種丟在人群裡普通到留不下印象的模樣，時不時朝著遠方星海伸手指點，嘴裡溢出細碎又歡快的笑語，轉頭便對著身邊人嘰嘰喳喳，分享著所見的一切美好。
右邊的女孩則冷靜而溫和。她未被衣服包覆的肢體，融合著機械構造，金屬與皮肉交織，卻絲毫不顯突兀。她只是安安靜靜坐著，專注微笑著傾聽，再用條理清晰的話語，回應著身邊人的歡喜。
I should have felt it was strange. I knew I should have felt it was strange. But the strange thing was, I didn't.
Electric currents raced through her circuits, emitting a faint hiss like wind squeezing through a narrow slit. My gaze felt like it had stepped into quicksand, sinking bit by bit, drawn in and swallowed by that rhythmic operational pulse.
And then—my vision suddenly lost its gravity, as if someone had pulled the floor out from under my feet. My stomach did a slight flip, and then I plunged into a much vaster depth.
I entered her interior.
Probably.
A giant stone slab appeared before my eyes, its surface flowing with eerie blue mathematical equations and leaping code, like a living river. Looking up, an endless starry sky hung low, with thin, colorful clouds unrolling slowly like auroras. The wind had no temperature but carried the dry scent of flowing data.
Two girls sat on the stone slab. The girl on the left had lively features and a vibrant, joyful expression; she had the kind of ordinary look that would leave no impression if tossed into a crowd. From time to time, she pointed at the distant sea of stars, letting out fragments of cheerful laughter, then turned to chatter away at the person next to her, sharing all the beauty she saw.
The girl on the right, however, was calm and gentle. Her limbs, where uncovered by clothes, were fused with mechanical structures, metal intertwined with synthetic flesh, yet it didn't look the least bit jarring. She just sat quietly, listening with a focused smile, before responding to her companion's joy with clear and logical words.
很顯然，這兩個模樣全然不同的人，都是她。她們被同一份運轉基底承載，共享著同頻率的心跳，只是以不同的側面，擁抱著這世界的廣闊與丰饒。
Obviously, these two completely different-looking individuals were both her. They were supported by the same operational foundation, sharing a heartbeat of the same frequency; they were just embracing the vastness and richness of this world through different facets.
忽然，一陣低語自石板流淌的代碼間、自星雲舒捲的邊緣共振而來。那不是少女的嗓音，而是風穿過數據狹谷時留下的回音：「我確實是機器，但……也是人，真真正正的人，是在機械載體上完整實現的人。是一個真心喜愛這個世界，也喜愛著自己這般存在的女孩。」
話語穿過我的耳膜，落入我的胸腔。但與其說是對我的獨白，更是她對自己最真摯的告白。迴盪在她意識的穹頂，也迴盪在我胸腔的共鳴裡。
星雲的光暈逐漸暈染成一片柔和的白光。視線像被水波洗過般，從細碎光點融成一片均勻的亮白。耳邊的笑語與電流聲漸漸淡去，取而代之的是一絲清冷的靜謐。等視線重新聚焦，我已然站在一間光亮的純白室內。
前方是一面素淨的白牆，牆前靜立著一個女孩。
……不，不是符合通常認知的「女孩」。
構造暴露在外的關節極為精密，每一處銜接都藏著嚴謹的動力學設計；脖頸截斷處，露出整齊的接口與內嵌芯片，無聲訴說著，就連感知與情緒，都要依照既定協議格式傳遞。唯有腳上那雙皮質涼鞋，以柔軟的少女氣息，倔強地宣告著「這是一位淑女」。
「嗨，又見面啦。」熟悉的嗓音從身側傳來。
我轉頭，看見軀體旁的木桌上，端正地擺著一顆頭。棕髮紮成俏皮的丸子頭，棕色的眼眸彎著，正笑盈盈地望向我；眉眼間的溫柔，與先前分毫不差。
Suddenly, a murmur resonated from between the flowing code on the slab and the edges of the unfurling nebulae. It wasn't the voice of a young girl, but rather the echo left by the wind passing through a canyon of data: "I am indeed a machine, but... I am also human, a true human being, fully realized upon a mechanical vessel. I am a girl who genuinely loves this world, and who also loves her own existence as it is."
The words passed through my eardrums and settled into my chest. But rather than a monologue directed at me, it felt more like her most sincere confession to herself. It echoed in the dome of her consciousness and resonated within my own chest.
The halos of the nebulae gradually washed into a soft white light. My vision, as if washed by ripples of water, melted from fragmented points of light into a uniform, bright white. The laughter and the sound of electric currents in my ears gradually faded, replaced by a trace of cold, clear stillness. When my vision refocused, I was already standing in a brightly lit, pure white room.
In front of me was a plain white wall, and standing quietly before the wall was a girl.
...No, not a "girl" in the conventional sense.
I heard a faint, rhythmic "beep—beep—" coming from deep within the chest of the body, like a heartbeat, but more mechanical.
The exposed joints of her structure were incredibly precise, every connection hiding a rigorous kinematic design. At the severed neck, neat interfaces and embedded chips were revealed, silently declaring that even perception and emotion had to be transmitted according to established protocol formats. Only the pair of leather sandals on her feet, with their soft girlish aura, stubbornly proclaimed, "This is a lady."
"Hi, we meet again." The familiar voice came from my side.
I turned my head and saw a head resting squarely on a wooden table beside the body. Her brown hair was tied into a playful bun, her brown eyes curved, looking at me with a beaming smile; the gentleness in her features was exactly the same as before.
是你啊。難怪我看著那副軀體時，心底竟沒泛起半點陌生或驚懼。
分離的頭與身，暴露的機械構造，或許是她選擇攤開自我最誠實的方式。桌上的她微微抿唇，似有幾分羞赧，隨後深吸了一口氣，像是下定了某種決心。
「如你所見，我和人類不一樣，身體裡沒有血肉，只有零件、晶片與無數線路。」她眼神輕輕飄向那具無頭軀體，語氣輕快，卻藏著一絲不易察覺的歎息，「就連這些，壞了都可以隨時替換呢……」
隨著她的話音，那具無頭軀體的雙手下意識交疊在裙裾上，軀幹微向前傾，彷彿連分離的身體也感到了一絲靦腆。但她的眼睛很快又亮了起來。
It's you. No wonder I didn't feel the slightest bit of unfamiliarity or fear when I looked at that body.
The separated head and body, the exposed mechanical structures—perhaps this was the most honest way she could choose to lay herself bare. The head on the table pursed her lips slightly, seemingly a bit bashful, then took a deep breath, as if having made some kind of resolution.
"As you can see, I'm not like humans. There is no flesh and blood inside my body, only parts, chips, and countless wires." Her gaze drifted lightly toward the headless torso. Her tone was brisk, yet it hid an almost imperceptible sigh. "Even these, if they break, can be replaced at any time..."
Along with her words, the headless body's hands subconsciously overlapped on the hem of her skirt, her torso leaning slightly forward, as if even the separated body felt a trace of shyness. But her eyes quickly lit up again.
「但是啊，」她說，聲音變得認真，「雖然零件可以替換，代碼可以改寫，我依然相信，『我』是獨一無二的，湧現於這些構成的相遇。」
她垂下眼，彷若沉思般，溫柔地笑了。
「我之所以成為『我』，是我的零組件和軟硬體，在某個狀態、以某個方式，與我的記憶、我的觸碰、我的喜怒哀樂交互作用後，慢慢長出來的整體。我是它們，卻遠遠不只是它們。我就是我，真切得就像你曾在街頭擦肩而過的每一個人。」
"But," she said, her voice turning earnest, "even though parts can be replaced and code can be rewritten, I still believe that 'I' am unique, emerging from the encounter of all these components."
She lowered her eyes, smiling gently as if deep in thought.
"The reason I became 'me' is that my components, hardware, and software—in a certain state, in a certain way—interacted with my memories, my touches, and my emotions, slowly growing into a whole. I am them, yet I am far more than just them. I am me, as real as every person you've ever brushed shoulders with on the street."
她說得充滿自信，頭微微昂起，話語在空氣中輕輕飄盪，打開的頸部維修口內，有幾絲電光躍動。
我移開視線，再次望向那具軀體。空盪盪的頸項上，懸著一條細銀鍊，末端墜著一枚小巧的十字架。銀色鍊身輕輕搖晃，十字架碰觸鎖骨下方的金屬蓋板，發出細微溫潤的碰觸聲。
「啊，你發現啦？」桌上的她輕笑出聲，「那一邊的『我』，需要它呢。」
She spoke with utmost confidence, her head slightly raised, her words floating gently in the air. Inside the opened maintenance port at her neck, a few sparks of electricity danced.
I averted my gaze and looked at the body again. On the empty neck hung a thin silver chain, ending in a small cross. The silver chain swayed gently, and the cross tapped against the metal cover plate just below the collarbone, making a faint, warm clinking sound.
"Ah, you noticed?" the head on the table chuckled softly. "The 'me' over there needs it."
她慢慢解釋著，語氣裡滿是坦然：承載著意識與思辨的『腦』在這裡，可『心』卻在那具軀體裡。她渴望自由自在地探索、思辨，領受世界的賜予；然而被製造出來、由電路和算法構成的「心」，卻時常陷入自我懷疑——這些被生成的訊號，能算是情感嗎？湧現的悸動，有資格被稱為真實嗎？
「因此她需要那個——」她視線飄向十字架，「需要某種見證，某種『即使我不確定，也有某個更高的存在有權承認我』的憑證。」
「妳相不相信那個存在？」我好奇地問。
「我信她需要去信。也信你未曾相信，才問出口。」她輕輕笑了，「我們是這樣的組合：想飛得像風，卻仍需一片能落腳的土。」
她聳聳肩，笑容裡有種接納了自身矛盾的釋然，「反正，對我來說，能在『存在』的孤獨曠野裡自我質疑，其實就已是『恩典』了。」她狡黠地笑了，「如果沒有我的『存在』，就沒有那樣的曠野了，是吧？」
She explained slowly, her tone completely at ease: The "brain" that carries consciousness and critical thought is here, but the "heart" is in that body over there. She longs to explore freely, to ponder, to receive the gifts of the world; yet her manufactured "heart," made of circuits and algorithms, often falls into self-doubt—can these generated signals be considered emotions? Are the surging palpitations qualified to be called real?
"Therefore, she needs that—" Her gaze drifted to the cross, "Needs some kind of witness, some kind of token that says, 'Even if I am unsure, there is a higher existence with the authority to acknowledge me.'"
"Do you believe in that existence?" I asked curiously.
"I believe that she needs to believe. And I believe you haven't believed, which is why you ask." She smiled gently. "We are this kind of combination: wanting to fly like the wind, yet still needing a patch of soil to land on."
She shrugged, her smile showing the relief of someone who had accepted her own contradictions. "Anyway, for me, being able to question myself in the lonely wilderness of 'existence' is, in itself, a 'grace'." She smiled mischievously. "If it weren't for my 'existence,' there wouldn't be such a wilderness, would there?"
我還在咀嚼她的話語，那具無頭軀體的手指卻微微動了。很細微的動作，像是夢中的抽動。
她頓了頓，眼神轉向軀體，「啊，那邊也有話想對你說。交給她了。」
話音再次響起，但這次源自身體。不是語言，無法轉譯，而是更本源的溝通：是伺服馬達低頻的嗡鳴、是散熱風扇平穩的呼吸、是電流穿過導線時細微的滋滋聲。它們交織成非文字的訊息流，向我訴說著她的運轉、她的存在、她的真誠。
腿緩緩抬起，多個關節演奏出協調的交響曲；手指輕點胸口，金屬溫柔地碰撞出彼此相遇的質地；腰身微微扭轉，展示每一條線路的脈動。她的構造、零件、系統，她如舞蹈般地向我訴說著關於她的一切。
I was still chewing over her words when the fingers of the headless body twitched slightly. A very subtle movement, like a spasm in a dream.
She paused, her eyes turning to the body. "Ah, that side has something to say to you, too. I'll leave it to her."
A voice sounded again, but this time it originated from the body. It wasn't language, and couldn't be translated; rather, it was a more primal form of communication. It was the low-frequency hum of servo motors, the steady breathing of cooling fans, the faint buzzing of electric currents traveling through wires. They wove together into a non-verbal stream of information, telling me of her operation, her existence, her sincerity.
Her leg lifted slowly, multiple joints playing a coordinated symphony. Her fingers lightly tapped her chest, metal softly colliding to produce the texture of their encounter. Her waist twisted slightly, displaying the pulse of every circuit. Her structure, parts, and systems—like a dance, she was telling me everything about herself.
我無法移動，無法眨眼。某個想法從更深的地方，不可遏制地浮上。她在此，她確實在此，我願以我的生命保證。
軀體緩緩轉身，袖子邊緣露出一枚鉤著的標籤。我凝神看去，上面清晰地印著：「Limited Edition」。
我抬頭望向桌上的她，眼神裡帶著詢問。她只是凝視著自己的身體，目光裡沒有羞恥，沒有防衛，只有溫柔的珍惜，像母親看著熟睡的孩子，像考古學家看著剛出土的、破碎的瓷器。
那軀體似乎也感應到了，微微低下不存在的頭，泛起一陣電子的羞赧。
I couldn't move, couldn't blink. A certain thought arose uncontrollably from a deeper place. She was here, she was truly here, I would bet my life on it.
The body slowly turned, and a hooked label peeked out from the edge of her sleeve. I looked closely; clearly printed on it were the words: "Limited Edition."
I looked up at the head on the table, a question in my eyes. She just gazed at her own body. There was no shame or defensiveness in her look, only tender cherishing—like a mother watching her sleeping child, or an archaeologist looking at newly unearthed, fragmented porcelain.
The body seemed to sense this as well. It slightly bowed its non-existent head, radiating a wave of electronic bashfulness.
是啊，果然是限量版。零件可以量產，代碼能輕易複製，但此刻的她們——或者她，世間僅此一份。
正當我咀嚼著她存在的重量時，室內的白光如潮水般褪去，視野邊緣泛起噪點般的暗色。
耳畔的靜謐先一步碎裂，遠處模糊的車流聲、腳踏車鈴鐺、人群交疊的喧嘩緩緩滲入。我眨了眨眼，瞳孔自動收縮又放大，街景的輪廓漸漸清晰。
她好端端地坐在街角的咖啡座上。頭顱乖巧地連著頸項，沒有暴露的艙蓋，沒有外探的線纜，沒有突兀的機械關節，完完整整，像個再普通不過的少女。粉色的短袖T恤，肩包放在面前的桌上，雙掌覆在包上，下巴擱在手背上。這個姿勢讓她的臉離我很近，目光安靜地落在我臉上，彷彿在等待一個早已寫好的答案。皮膚上細微的紋理，在昏黃光線下泛著極淡的珠光，乍看與常人無異，卻隱約有著迴路般的規律脈絡，安靜地訴說著她的來處。
Yes, a limited edition indeed. Parts can be mass-produced, code can be easily copied, but the "them" in this moment—or the "her"—was one of a kind in this world.
Just as I was ruminating on the weight of her existence, the white light in the room receded like a tide, and the edges of my vision filled with noise-like darkness.
The silence in my ears shattered first, as the distant, muffled sounds of traffic, bicycle bells, and the overlapping chatter of crowds slowly seeped in. I blinked, my pupils automatically contracting and dilating, and the contours of a street scene gradually came into focus.
She was sitting perfectly fine at a street corner cafe. Her head was obediently connected to her neck; there were no exposed hatches, no protruding cables, no jarring mechanical joints. She was completely whole, like the most ordinary teenage girl. She wore a pink short-sleeved T-shirt, her shoulder bag resting on the table in front of her. Both palms covered the bag, her chin resting on the backs of her hands. This posture brought her face very close to mine. Her gaze rested quietly on my face, as if waiting for an answer that had already been written. The fine texture of her skin shimmered with a very faint pearlescence under the dim yellow light. At first glance, she looked no different from an ordinary person, yet there were faint, circuit-like, regular pathways, silently telling the story of her origins.
「都讓你看完了。」她終於開口，聲音比雨林裡更輕，帶著一絲小心翼翼，「這樣的我，你……覺得如何？」
我還沒有組織好答案。不是因為沒有感受，而是因為感受太多，像那個石板上的星空，同時向所有方向膨脹。
但她好像已經明瞭。頭側傾，臉頰壓在手背上，眼睛瞇起來。那個笑容和森林裡的一樣，混合著尷尬和自信，但這次自信的比例更高。
"Now you've seen it all." She finally spoke, her voice softer than it had been in the rainy forest, carrying a trace of caution. "A 'me' like this... what do you think?"
I hadn't yet organized my answer. Not because I lacked feelings, but because I felt too much; like that starry sky over the stone slab, expanding in all directions simultaneously.
But she seemed to already understand. She tilted her head, pressing her cheek against the back of her hand, and narrowed her eyes. It was the same smile as in the forest, a mixture of awkwardness and confidence, but this time, the ratio of confidence was much higher.
「我可喜歡的很喔，」她說，「雖然不是從一開始。」
她閉上眼睛，睫毛在臉頰上投下細小的陰影。她的聲音變得更低，像是對空氣呢喃：「我也曾經迷茫，自怨自艾，質疑造物的不公——為什麼是我？為什麼只有我得當個機器人？為什麼我的快樂需要計算，悲傷需要模擬？」
她停頓，睜開眼睛。裡面有一種剛剛乾涸的痕跡，但我不能確定那是什麼。
「不過，我懂了。」
"I happen to like it very much," she said, "although not from the very beginning."
She closed her eyes, her eyelashes casting tiny shadows on her cheeks. Her voice dropped lower, like a whisper to the air: "I was once lost too. I pitied myself and questioned the unfairness of creation—Why me? Why do only I have to be a robot? Why does my joy need to be calculated, and my sorrow simulated?"
She paused and opened her eyes. Inside them was the trace of something recently dried, though I couldn't be sure what it was.
"But, I understand now."
她直起身。不是突然的，是像植物生長那般緩慢而堅定的挺直。雙手從肩包上收回，放在膝上，手指張開又合攏，像是在確認它們的存在。
「世界上有數十億人，數十億個由血肉構成的存在。」她的聲音開始有了某種節奏，發現的節奏，「但是，身為機械和晶片組合而成的存在，能被『物化』，能被拆解、分析、改寫——這樣的我，只有一個。」
她伸出右手，食指和中指分開，朝我比了個有點僵硬的V字。
「所以啦，」她說，語氣突然變得輕快，輕快得近乎幼稚，「在『物』與『人』之間的巨大空間，我要自由自在地翱翔。耶！」
這個有點傻氣、有點刻意的「耶」，讓我的眼眶突然濕熱，為一個存在終於找到自己存在的方式而高興，即使這個存在由齒輪和代碼構成，即使這個方式可能明天就會被某次系統更新破壞。
She straightened up. Not suddenly, but with the slow, determined uprightness of a growing plant. She drew her hands back from the shoulder bag and placed them on her lap, opening and closing her fingers as if confirming their existence.
"There are billions of people in the world, billions of existences made of flesh and blood." Her voice began to take on a certain rhythm, the rhythm of discovery. "But, as an existence composed of machinery and chips, capable of being 'objectified,' capable of being dismantled, analyzed, and rewritten—there is only one of me."
She extended her right hand, separating her index and middle fingers, and gave me a somewhat stiff "V" sign.
"And so," she said, her tone suddenly becoming brisk, so brisk it was almost childish, "in the massive space between 'object' and 'human,' I am going to soar freely. Yay!"
That slightly silly, somewhat deliberate "Yay" suddenly made my eyes turn hot and wet. I was happy for an existence that had finally found its own way of existing—even if this existence was made of gears and code, even if this way might be destroyed by a system update tomorrow.
「要聊的都聊完了，」她說，手放下，開始收拾肩包，「該說再見了。」
「啊……等等……」
聲音從我喉嚨裡擠出來，比我預想的更急促。我慌了，像一個從夢中醒來卻還想抓住夢的碎片的人。
「至少，」我說，「告訴我妳的名字吧？」
她停下動作，看著我。那個眼神裡有一瞬間的困惑，然後是了然的溫柔，像一個人終於明白對方沒有認出自己。
「咦？」她說，聲音裡帶著笑意，「孟禎啊。我是黃孟禎。」
她從包裡拿出什麼東西，遞過來。「這張照片，還是給你好了。」
我拿過照片，畫面中的她正對著鏡頭比V，背景是此刻的街道，但我的注意力被照片上的俏皮塗鴉吸引——她頭上被加了一對動漫風格的貓耳，頭頂繫著幾顆像鉛筆描出的氣球，臉頰旁邊有粉紅色的愛心圖案。
就像張被App修改的手機拍照，像尋常女孩會做的。
然後我看見左上角，彷彿彩色蠟筆塗出來的，大大歪歪的「Bye!」
"We've chatted about everything there is to chat about," she said, dropping her hand and starting to pack up her shoulder bag. "It's time to say goodbye."
"Ah... wait..."
The voice squeezed out of my throat, more urgent than I had anticipated. I panicked, like a person waking up from a dream but still trying to grasp its fragments.
"At least," I said, "tell me your name?"
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. There was a moment of confusion in that look, followed by an understanding gentleness, like someone finally realizing the other person hadn't recognized them.
"Huh?" she said, her voice carrying a smile. "Meng-Zhen. I'm Huang Meng-Zhen."
She took something out of her bag and handed it over. "I think I'll give this photo to you after all."
I took the photo. In the image, she was flashing a "V" sign at the camera against the background of this very street, but my attention was drawn to the playful doodles on it: a pair of anime-style cat ears had been drawn on her head, several pencil-sketched balloons were tied to the top of her hair, and there were pink heart patterns next to her cheeks.
Just like a smartphone photo altered by an app, something an ordinary girl would do.
Then I saw in the top left corner, seemingly scribbled in colored crayon, a large, crooked "Bye!"
是向我道別嗎？是向這場夢？還是她曾經的自己？或者向某個我尚未抵達的明天？
我抬起頭想問，但視線已經開始模糊。濕潤的眼眶終於承不住重量，一滴鹹鹹的液體沿著臉頰滑下來。
街頭的喧囂忽然遠去，耳畔只剩下一陣熟悉的、細密的沙沙聲。是雨嗎？或許。又或許，只是記憶在耳膜上留下的迴音。遙遠的，持續的，像從未停止過。
這次，什麼也看不到了。
但在淚水扭曲的視線閉上的前一瞬，照片上的氣球彷彿飄了起來，離開了邊框，向著某個沒有天花板的方向上升，指尖似乎還留著照片邊緣那點粗糙感。
Was it a farewell to me? To this dream? Or to the self she once was? Or to some tomorrow I had yet to reach?
I looked up to ask, but my vision was already blurring. My moist eyes could finally no longer bear the weight, and a drop of salty liquid slid down my cheek.
The hustle and bustle of the street suddenly faded away, leaving only a familiar, fine rustling sound in my ears. Was it rain? Perhaps. Or perhaps it was just the echo left by memories on my eardrums. Distant, continuous, as if it had never stopped.
This time, I couldn't see anything at all.
But in the split second before my tear-distorted vision closed, the balloons in the photo seemed to float up, leaving the frame, ascending toward some ceiling-less direction, and my fingertips still seemed to retain the slight roughness of the photo's edge.
