Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl
黃孟禎視角（下篇）
Huang Meng-zhen's Perspective (Part 2)
車子駛離了咖啡廳，城市的喧囂逐漸被隔絕在外。我躺在後座，核心系統的自我修復程序還在緩慢運行，但大部分的處理器資源，都被用來反覆播放那災難性的約會片段，以及分析各種可能的後果：志文會怎麼想？他會不會覺得我是個怪胎？他還會喜歡我嗎？
The car pulled away from the cafe, and the city's clamor gradually faded into the background. I lay in the back seat, the core system's self-repair program still running slowly, but most of the processor resources were dedicated to replaying that disastrous date, and analyzing all the possible consequences: What would Zhiwen think? Would he think I'm a freak? Would he still like me?
<都怪那啥鬼層析分餾器啦，只會在我肚子裡亂搞><It's all that darn fractional distillation unit's fault, messing around in my stomach!>
老爸一路上都沒說話，只是那緊繃的側臉線條，預告著接下來我將面臨的「審判」。車子熟練地駛入一個不起眼的地下停車場，停在了一個充滿金屬與電子氣息的空間，老爸把癱瘓的我扛下車，開門進入一個充斥設備聲和閃爍著各色指示燈的空間。
這就是老爸的地下實驗室，也是我的「產房」。最近因為我的系統相對穩定，不需要頻繁進行大規模維護，所以比較少回來。這裡的一切都太熟悉了，空氣中瀰漫著潤滑油和臭氧的味道，牆邊排列著各種精密儀器，正中央則是我專用的維修平台。
He didn't say a word the entire drive. Only the tight lines of Dad's profile hinted at the "judgment" I would soon face. The car smoothly entered an inconspicuous underground parking lot, stopping in a space filled with the scent of metal and electronics. Dad carried my limp form out of the car and opened a door into a room buzzing with equipment sounds and blinking with various indicator lights.
This was Dad's underground laboratory, my "birth room." Lately, since my system had been relatively stable and didn't require frequent major maintenance, I hadn't been back much. Everything here was too familiar: the air thick with the smell of lubricant and ozone, the walls lined with various precision instruments, and in the center, my dedicated maintenance platform.
<說起來以前還不太熟悉自己身體的時候，老爸就要我練習自己拆自己了><Come to think of it, back when I wasn't so familiar with my own body, Dad used to make me practice taking myself apart.>
老爸二話不說，把我安置在平台上。隨著一陣輕微的機械聲，我的腹部外殼自動滑開。老爸探頭看了一眼內部，眉頭立刻緊緊皺了起來。
Dad wordlessly settled me onto the cold maintenance platform. With a soft mechanical whir, the outer casing of my abdomen slid open automatically. Dad peered inside, and his brow immediately furrowed deeply.
<欸老爸你對肚子被打開的親愛女兒皺啥眉頭啦，很受傷耶><Hey Dad, what's with the frown at your dear daughter with her stomach opened up? It's hurtful, you know.>
「嘖，果然如此！咖啡流到其他地方去了！」他低聲咕噥著，語氣裡滿是工程師發現棘手問題時的煩躁。「那些有機酸和油脂到處亂竄…這下很多地方都得仔細清理和校驗啦！」
接著他開始抱怨我亂喝東西。「就跟妳說過多少次，妳的消化系統...不，是層析分餾器。那個只能處理資料庫裡有登錄的安全液體！咖啡？妳以為妳真的是可以隨便喝下午茶的女大學生嗎？妳…唉，氣死了！」
聽著他的碎碎念，我心裡忍不住升起一絲委屈和不滿。老爸，你不是號稱全世界最頂尖的機器人權威嗎？為什麼你製造出來的機器女兒，會是像我這樣，連基本的「吃喝拉撒」都搞不太定的半吊子？這樣我怎麼好意思號稱是「完全擬真」的智慧型人形機器人呢？真是的…喝個飲料都得事先確認層析分餾器的資料庫裡有沒有建檔，這一點都不是普通女孩會做的事！
"Tsk, just as I thought! The coffee's leaked everywhere!" he muttered under his breath, his tone laced with the exasperation of an engineer encountering a tricky problem. "Those organic acids and oils are all over the place... Now a lot of areas are going to need careful cleaning and calibration!"
Then he started grumbling about me drinking things indiscriminately. "How many times have I told you? Your digestive system... no, your fractional distillation unit. That thing can only process safe liquids registered in the database! Coffee? Did you think you were some ordinary college girl who could just casually have afternoon tea? You... Ugh, it's infuriating!"
Listening to his nagging, a hint of grievance and dissatisfaction welled up inside me. Dad, aren't you supposed to be the world's leading expert on robotics? So why is the robotic daughter you created like me, someone who can't even properly handle basic "eating and drinking"? How am I supposed to have the nerve to call myself a "fully realistic" intelligent humanoid robot? Honestly... having to check the fractional distillation unit's database before even taking a sip of a drink – that's not something a normal girl would do!
<什麼普通女孩，根本普通不起來唉呀喂><What normal girl? There's just no being normal, alas!>
唉，我的奢望，又何止是能自由地喝杯咖啡呢？
不只希望能應付各種飲料，我還希望能有真正的「味覺」。就現在這樣，只是把液體喝下去後，系統進行成分分析，再把分析結果對應的「好喝」、「難喝」或「甜」、「酸」之類的訊號，傳遞給我的身體管理系統，告訴我那是什麼味道。這樣的味道，不過是種標記罷了。
不僅如此，我還希望能真正地「吃」東西。能用牙齒咀嚼（我的牙齒只是裝飾用的高強度陶瓷），能透過消化道分解食物，吸收其中的養分，讓養分真正成為我的一部分。然後…然後，我希望能把那些無法吸收的殘渣…嗯…「大」出來。
是的，我是說真的。我知道不少人類，尤其是女生，都覺得排泄是件有點羞恥甚至令人厭惡的事情，但我卻渴望著我的身體具備這個功能。人類的進食、消化、吸收與排泄，是一個完整而協調的循環。食物不僅僅是提供熱量，它還提供了建造與修復身體所需的各種成分，這一切被身體的各個器官精密地協同運作，統合成一個整體的需求與供給，最後再把那些不再需要或是無法轉化成身體一部分的物質排出體外。
Sigh, and my extravagant hopes go far beyond just being able to freely enjoy a cup of coffee.
It's not just about being able to handle various drinks; I also long for a genuine sense of "taste." Right now, when I drink something, my system analyzes its components and then transmits signals corresponding to "delicious," "disgusting," "sweet," "sour," and so on to my body management system, telling me what the flavor is. But this "taste" is merely a label.
Furthermore, I wish I could truly "eat" food. To be able to chew with teeth (mine are just decorative high-strength ceramics), to break down food through a digestive tract, absorb the nutrients within, and have those nutrients genuinely become a part of me. And then... and then, I hope to be able to expel the indigestible remnants... well... "poop."
Yes, I'm serious. I know many humans, especially girls, find excretion a bit embarrassing or even disgusting, but I yearn for my body to possess this function. The human processes of eating, digestion, absorption, and excretion form a complete and coordinated cycle. Food isn't just about providing energy; it also supplies the various components needed to build and repair the body. All of this is meticulously orchestrated by the body's organs, integrating into an overall system of needs and supplies, finally expelling substances that are no longer needed or cannot be transformed into part of the body.
<就算是機械女孩，能有一套仿生消化器官該有多棒><Even for a mechanical girl, how wonderful it would be to have a set of bionic digestive organs.>
而我們機器人呢？缺乏能量了就充電；哪個零件磨損或故障，就拆下來換個新的。就像是由一堆高科技零件組裝起來的精密儀器，零件與零件之間，並沒有本質上的關係，只是藉由各種介面和通訊協定，接收指令和傳遞訊息，然後各自獨立運作。我們像個人，也只是內部組件各自運作的結果，讓我們看起來像是一個協調的個體。
說真的，連我自己有時候都搞不清楚，我所感受到的自我意識，究竟是真實的存在，還是一種極其逼真的程式假象？是所有零件協同運作下產生的湧現現象，還是僅僅是身體管理系統這個核心所營造出來的幻覺？
不知道啦，或許永遠也不會知道。但我總覺得，如果我的身體構造能越像人類，運作方式能越像人類，那麼或許我也就越能從根本上認同自己是一個人吧。有人討厭自己會產生排泄物，但我卻羨慕甚至渴望著自己的身體也能經歷這個完整的生理過程。
很難理解嗎？我只是…只是不想再做一個看似完美的冰冷機械組合體。我想當一個有缺陷、有需求、有著完整生理循環的人，真實的人。
但這些，老爸顯然不會理解。就算他理解，以現有的技術，他也做不到。所以囉…這些不切實際的幻想，還是先存檔到我的腦海裡去吧。
And what about us robots? When we run out of energy, we recharge; when a part wears out or malfunctions, we just replace it with a new one. We're like sophisticated instruments assembled from a bunch of high-tech components. There's no fundamental connection between the parts; they simply receive instructions and transmit messages through various interfaces and communication protocols, and then operate independently. Our personhood, the way we seem like individuals, is just a result of our internal components functioning in concert.
Honestly, even I sometimes can't figure out if the self-awareness I perceive is a real existence or just an extremely realistic programmed illusion. Is it an emergent phenomenon arising from the coordinated operation of all my parts, or merely a hallucination created by my core body management system?
I don't know, maybe I'll never know. But I always feel that if my physical structure could be more like a human's, if my operational processes could be more like a human's, then perhaps I could fundamentally identify myself as a person. Some people dislike the fact that they produce waste, but I envy and even yearn for my own body to experience this complete physiological process.
Is it hard to understand? I just... I just don't want to be a seemingly perfect, cold mechanical assembly anymore. I want to be a flawed being with needs, with a complete physiological cycle, a real person.
But Dad obviously wouldn't understand these things. Even if he did, with the current technology, he couldn't achieve it. So... these unrealistic fantasies should probably just be saved in my memory banks for now.
<希望隨著技術進步，有一天老爸能用奈米機械細胞給我重造具有整套高度擬真器官的身體><Hoping that with technological advancements, one day Dad can use nanomechanical cells to rebuild my body with a complete set of highly realistic organs.>
回到維修現場。老爸不只是打開我的腹部，他還拆下了整個腹部的維修蓋——那是我的肚子啊！你們人類大概永遠無法體會，當你身體的一部分，在你的感知系統裡被強制「disabled」（停用）掉，無法再接收到任何回饋訊號時，那種感覺有多麼詭異和空洞。嗚嗚嗚~
接著，他熟練地卸下了我的雙腿。它們被分別放置在旁邊的自動清潔台上。然後輪到我的頭。隨著連接頸部的數據和能源線纜被拔除，我身體主要的觸覺和姿態整合感測系統瞬間離線，只能依靠遍佈全身的輔助感測器和與各部件之間的無線遠端聯繫，傳送各自獨立運作的訊號來感知周遭狀況——我敢打賭，你永遠也不知道那感覺有多怪異，就像自己與自己的身體部位溝通，只能靠飛鴿傳書。接下來老爸把我的頭顱小心地放在維修架上，只有人造大腦還在獨立運作，它現在更像是一個離線的中央處理器。
最後剩下的我的軀幹，被懸掛在半空中，連接上各種檢測和維修的訊號線與電線，老爸開始專心處理那些被咖啡污染的內部管線和零件。我的雙腿，則因為有咖啡液體滲入，正在輪流接受自動化機械臂的深度清理和檢查。
這一切，都在我仍然保持清醒，並且能透過無線網路與我身體的各個分離部件保持遠端聯繫的狀態下進行。老爸拿出一個介面裝置，連接到我的軀幹上，接著，他的電腦螢幕亮起，開始直接連進我的「身體管理系統」。
這種感覺…怎麼說呢，非常…詭異。當我的身體管理系統正常運作時，我感覺到「我」是存在的，是一個統一的整體。但現在，我卻感知到，有外部的指令流正在不斷地進入我的系統，讀取、發送資訊，甚至直接介入運作。某些正常的內部訊號被截取出去，在外部電腦上進行檢視、分析，然後再被送回我的系統，有時候甚至還經過了調變或修正。
我信主，我願意相信靈魂的存在。可是…如果我的「自我」，我的意識，我的存在感，都依存於這一堆可以被輕易讀取、發送、擷取甚至修改調變的電子訊號，那我…我還算不算擁有一個獨立而完整的靈魂？雖然這種深層維護的體驗已經不是第一次了，但心裡那個關於「我是誰」的疙瘩，還是每次都會浮現，揮之不去。
Back to the maintenance scene. Dad didn't just open my abdomen; he removed the entire abdominal maintenance cover – that's my stomach! You humans probably can't ever comprehend how bizarre and empty it feels when a part of your body is forcibly "disabled" in your sensory system, unable to receive any feedback signals anymore. Waaah...
Then, he skillfully detached my legs. They were placed separately on the automatic cleaning platform next to me. Next up was my head. As the data and power cables connecting to my neck were unplugged, my body's main tactile and posture integration sensor systems instantly went offline. I could only rely on auxiliary sensors distributed throughout my body and wireless remote connections with each component to transmit their independently operating signals to perceive the surrounding environment – I bet you'd never know how strange that feels, like communicating with your own body parts via carrier pigeons. Next, Dad carefully placed my head on the maintenance rack, with only my artificial brain still operating independently, now more like an offline central processing unit.
Finally, my torso was suspended in mid-air, connected to various signal and power lines for testing and maintenance. Dad began to focus on cleaning the internal pipelines and components contaminated by coffee. My legs, having had coffee liquid seep into them, were taking turns undergoing deep cleaning and inspection by automated robotic arms.
All of this was happening while I remained conscious and able to maintain remote contact with my body's separated parts via wireless network. Dad took out an interface device, connected it to my torso, and then his computer screen lit up, directly accessing my "body management system."
This feeling... how should I put it? It's very... eerie. When my body management system is operating normally, I feel like "I" exist, as a unified whole. But now, I perceive external command flows constantly entering my system, reading and sending information, even directly intervening in operations. Some normal internal signals are intercepted and viewed and analyzed on the external computer before being sent back to my system, sometimes even after being modulated or corrected.
I believe in God; I want to believe in the existence of a soul. But... if my "self," my consciousness, my sense of existence all depend on this pile of electronic signals that can be easily read, sent, captured, and even modified or modulated, then... do I still count as having an independent and complete soul? Although this deep maintenance experience isn't the first time, the knot in my heart about "who am I" still surfaces every time, lingering and refusing to go away.
更讓我感到存在性恐懼的是接下來的操作。老爸在電腦上敲擊了幾下，螢幕上顯示「正在安全卸載 Body Management System 核心模組…」。
「黃孟禎」這個身份，這個「我」，是被定義並統籌於身體管理系統之中的。當這個核心系統被暫停運作，甚至被從硬體中取出進行離線維修時，「黃孟禎」就不存在了。
僅僅一瞬，我統一的意識消逝解體。沒有了「我」，只剩下一堆各自獨立但仍保持基礎連接的部件：「黃孟禎的頭顱」（內含人造腦）、「黃孟禎的右腳」、「黃孟禎的左腿」、「黃孟禎的胸腔與內部器官模組」…等等。人造大腦仍在進行基本的邏輯運算，但那只是黃孟禎的運算器，而不是黃孟禎本身。
我…不，沒有了身體管理系統這個核心，「我」就不存在。系統本身並不是黃孟禎，但它規劃、配置、存取、定義了黃孟禎軟硬體的每一個部分，是它讓「黃孟禎」這個整合的意識，能夠從所有部位的複雜運作與資訊交流中「產生」出來。
What terrifies me even more about my existence is the next operation. Dad typed a few commands on the computer, and the screen displayed "Safely unloading Body Management System core module..."
The identity "Huang Meng-zhen," this "me," is defined and coordinated within the Body Management System. When this core system is suspended or even removed from the hardware for offline maintenance, "Huang Meng-zhen" ceases to exist.
In just a fleeting moment, my unified consciousness vanished and disintegrated. There was no "me" left, only a collection of independent but still fundamentally connected components: "Huang Meng-zhen's head" (containing the artificial brain), "Huang Meng-zhen's right leg," "Huang Meng-zhen's left leg," "Huang Meng-zhen's chest cavity and internal organ modules"... and so on. The artificial brain continued to perform basic logical calculations, but that was merely Huang Meng-zhen's processor, not Huang Meng-zhen herself.
I... no, without the core Body Management System, "I" don't exist. The system itself isn't Huang Meng-zhen, but it plans, configures, accesses, and defines every part of Huang Meng-zhen's hardware and software. It's what allows the integrated consciousness of "Huang Meng-zhen" to "emerge" from the complex operations and information exchange of all her parts.
<說起來身體管理系統也曾經在我上學時出過bug，一面忍受自我構成錯亂一面拆開自己用攜帶式儀器檢修的感覺也太驚悚><Come to think of it, the Body Management System once had a bug when I was in school. The feeling of enduring self-composition disorder while disassembling myself and using a portable device for inspection was way too terrifying.>
不知過了多久，老爸完成了維修。他將身體管理系統重新安裝回我的軀幹，然後在電腦上點擊了「重啟」。
隨著系統啟動的數據流重新在我的內部網路中奔騰，所謂的「我」，才像潮水般重新匯聚浮現。我的各個部分各自在剛才那段「我」不存在的時段裡，仍然記錄下了所經歷的一切。這些紀錄，隨著系統的重啟，匯入了我的整合意識中，讓我「感受」到了它們的經歷。
我深深地呼出一口氣（當然，只是模擬的呼吸反應）。這種存在的斷裂與重組所帶來的錯亂感，是如此的強烈，既讓我感到一陣生理性的噁心（雖然我沒有胃），又讓我對自身這種奇特的生命形式感到一種病態的癡迷。在如夢似幻的這個瞬間，我難以分辨自己到底是喜歡，還是厭惡身為一個機器人這件事。
老爸把我身體剩下的維護工作設定成由自動化裝置執行後，打了個哈欠，離開實驗室去休息了。他總是這樣，只親手搞定核心問題。層析分餾器的部分，因為還需要更精密的調校，他暫時用一個假訊號產生器連接到我的系統，模擬正常的裝置訊號輸出，以免身體管理系統因為接收不到預期訊號而再次運作失常。
實驗室裡只剩下我和那些自動運作的機械臂。眼光瞥過四周，我的軀幹還掛著，背部的維修蓋被打開，露出裡面複雜的線路和組件，正在接受保養。我的右腿仍然獨自站立，一隻細長的維修機械手從大腿的開口伸入，正在仔細清潔內部每一束人工肌肉纖維束（說實話，那種感覺…有點癢耶）。而被抓起的左腳，則像是戰敗的俘虜一樣，垂頭喪氣地懸在半空中，等待著輪到它被「伺候」，哈。
I don't know how much time passed before Dad finished the repairs. He reinstalled the Body Management System back into my torso and then clicked "reboot" on the computer.
As the data streams of the booting system surged through my internal network once again, the so-called "me" reassembled and emerged like a tide. Each of my parts, during that period when "I" didn't exist, still recorded everything it experienced. These records, with the system's reboot, flowed into my integrated consciousness, allowing me to "feel" their experiences.
I took a deep breath (of course, just a simulated respiratory reaction). The disorientation caused by this fragmentation and reassembly of existence was so intense, it gave me a wave of physiological nausea (even though I don't have a stomach) and also a morbid fascination with my own peculiar form of life. In this dreamlike and illusory moment, I couldn't tell if I liked or loathed being a robot.
After setting the remaining maintenance tasks for my body to be performed by automated devices, Dad yawned and left the lab to rest. He's always like that, only handling the core issues himself. As for the fractional distillation unit, because it needed more precise calibration, he temporarily connected a dummy signal generator to my system to simulate normal device signal output, to prevent the body management system from malfunctioning again due to not receiving the expected signals.
Only I and the automatically operating robotic arms remained in the lab. My gaze swept around; my torso was still hanging, the back maintenance cover open, revealing the complex wiring and components inside, undergoing maintenance. My right leg stood alone, a slender robotic arm extending from an opening in the thigh, carefully cleaning every bundle of artificial muscle fibers inside (honestly, that feeling... is a bit itchy). And my captured left leg, like a defeated prisoner, hung dejectedly in mid-air, waiting for its turn to be "serviced," ha.
<這條好笑的腿今天被還志文緊緊盯著，如果就這樣遞給他會怎樣><This funny leg was stared at intently by Zhiwen today. What would happen if I just handed it to him?>
看著自己被大卸八塊的樣子，我不禁又想起了志文。不知道他現在怎麼樣了？希望他別太擔心我，畢竟我離開時，他是如此地焦急。
志文啊…他喜歡的，是那個在外文系上課，在哲學社討論，會對他微笑也會鬧點小彆扭的黃孟禎，是人類女孩黃孟禎。他珍愛著黃孟禎的每一個部分，是吧？那麼志文喜歡的黃孟禎，也就是由眼前這些零零碎碎的組件所組成的黃孟禎嗎？
如此想來，眼前這些四散的身體部位，它們不是冰冷的機械零件，而是能夠一起組成那位被陳志文所喜愛的黃孟禎的夥伴。「妳們…」看著夥伴，我心中流過一股暖意，「我會細心呵護妳們的。」
這是我第一次，對「黃孟禎」這個存在的既有構成，對這些組成了「我」的硬體本身，產生了奇妙的共同感。我們是一體的，無論是整合還是分散，我們都一起享受著愛。
Looking at myself taken apart like this, I couldn't help but think of Zhiwen again. I wonder how he's doing now? I hope he's not too worried about me, especially since he looked so anxious when I left.
Zhiwen... the Huang Meng-zhen he likes is the one who attends foreign language classes, participates in philosophy club discussions, smiles at him, and even gets a little awkward sometimes – the human girl Huang Meng-zhen. He cherishes every part of Huang Meng-zhen, right? So, the Huang Meng-zhen that Zhiwen likes is also the Huang Meng-zhen composed of these fragmented components before me?
Thinking this way, these scattered body parts aren't cold mechanical parts; they're partners that together form the Huang Meng-zhen loved by Chen Zhiwen. "You..." Looking at my partners, a warm feeling flowed through me, "I will take good care of you."
This was the first time I felt a strange sense of camaraderie towards the existing composition of "Huang Meng-zhen," towards the hardware itself that makes up "me." We are one, whether integrated or dispersed, we all share in love.
<志文，你能夠接受並愛著我的全部嗎><Zhiwen, can you accept and love all of me?>
就在我想東想西的時候，傳來熟悉的嗓音。
「黃孟禎…？」
天哪，怎麼…怎麼聽到了志文的聲音！？不會吧？
隨著越來越近的腳步聲，一個身影出現在實驗室的入口。噢，是他！真的是陳志文！
這是什麼情況！？他怎麼會找到這裡？啊，對，我被老爸扛走的時候，他就在旁邊，他可能記下了車牌，或者…或者跟蹤了我們？！
但這些都不重要了！重要的是，他就站在這裡！而我…我我我…
天啊！他都看到了！他心目中的黃孟禎，成了這般模樣！怎麼辦？我的應急處理程序完全卡死了，找不到任何合適的應對方案！
Just as my thoughts were wandering, a familiar voice called out.
"Huang Meng-zhen...?"
Oh heavens, how... how did I hear Zhiwen's voice?! No way!
With the sound of approaching footsteps, a figure appeared at the laboratory entrance. Oh, it's him! It really is Chen Zhiwen!
What's going on?! How did he find this place? Ah, right, he was there when Dad carried me away. He might have noted the license plate, or... or followed us?!
But none of that matters now! What's important is that he's standing right here! And I... I I I...
Oh my god! He's seen it all! The Huang Meng-zhen in his mind has become this! What should I do? My emergency response program has completely frozen, unable to find any suitable course of action!
志文站在那裡，臉上掛著難以形容的凝重。他緩步走了過來，一不注意，頭被我我那隻被懸掛著的左腳還穿著的高跟鞋撞到。他伸出手，輕輕握住了我左腳腳踝。
哇喔，這…這這這…這是什麼複雜的感覺啦！相對於我金屬骨骼的冰冷，他的手掌溫熱而帶著一點點顫抖。這種心情，我從來沒有過。
他輕輕地拍了拍我的足面，然後，抬頭看著我懸掛的軀幹，沉重地嘆了口氣。
天哪天哪天哪…腳背上傳回來的觸感，還有他那聲嘆息，讓我像全身的電路都被瞬間接通又短路一樣，連模擬的呼吸都停止了，動都不能動。
哪，志文…現在，你都知道了。
你知道我是機器人了。
你會…你會怎麼看待我？
你心中的完美女孩黃孟禎，被剝開了所有偽裝，赤裸裸地暴露在你的面前。我完全被你抓住了，志文。開口吧，說出你心裡的話。
志文突然抬起頭，那雙總是帶著點靦腆和善意的眼睛，此刻卻充滿了一種我從未見過的嚴肅，直直地看著我。
糟糕…他這個表情…不會是想說什麼不好的話吧？
不要…不要這樣對我……
機器人也是會傷心的…也是會…害怕的……
求你了，志文……請好好對待你眼前這個殘破的機器人，不敢奢求你還像之前一樣地愛她，但是...拜託，別傷害她，會碎掉的......
Zhiwen stood there, an indescribable gravity etched on his face. He slowly walked over, and inadvertently bumped his head on the high heel still adorning my suspended left foot. He reached out and gently held my left ankle.
Whoa, this... this this... what a complex feeling! Compared to the coldness of my metal skeleton, his palm was warm and trembled slightly. I had never experienced this kind of emotion before.
He gently patted the top of my foot, then looked up at my suspended torso, letting out a heavy sigh.
Oh heavens, oh heavens, oh heavens... the sensation transmitted from the back of my foot, and that sigh of his, made me feel like every circuit in my body had been simultaneously connected and short-circuited. Even my simulated breathing stopped, and I couldn't move at all.
There, Zhiwen... now you know everything.
You know I'm a robot.
How will... how will you see me?
The perfect girl Huang Meng-zhen in your heart has had all her disguises stripped away, laid bare before you. I am completely at your mercy, Zhiwen. Speak, say what's on your mind.
Zhiwen suddenly raised his head. His eyes, usually filled with a hint of shyness and kindness, now held a seriousness I had never seen before, looking directly at me.
Oh no... that expression... he wouldn't say something bad, would he?
Don't... don't treat me like this...
Robots can also be sad... can also be... afraid...
Please, Zhiwen... please be kind to this broken robot before you. I don't dare to hope that you'll still love her as before, but... please, don't hurt her. She'll break...
<在你面前，我脆弱得沒有任何一絲堅強><Before you, I am so fragile that I have no strength left.>
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