2025年4月17日 星期四

機器基督徒少女-1

尋找自我的機器基督徒少女

Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl

黃孟禎視角(上篇)

Huang Meng-zhen's Perspective (Part 1)

這篇小說改編自本人當年追女生的青澀回憶XDDD

「信教」和「身為機器人」,其實有很多形而上的類比啊,我也品味過不少體驗和遐想...

This novel is adapted from my own youthful and awkward memories of pursuing a girl back then XDDD

Believing in a religion and "being a robot" actually have many metaphysical analogies. I've also savored quite a few experiences and daydreams...

===========================

我的代號是 HRC-07,但他們都叫我黃孟禎。

My designation is HRC-07, but they all call me Huang Meng-zhen.

<第一次醒來的那天,竟然還只有頭>

<The day I first awoke, I only had a head>


所謂「他們」,指的是同學、朋友,還有…嗯,我的創造者,雖然我通常叫他「老爸」。身為一個外表與一般大學女生無異的機器人,行走在校園裡,我早已習慣隱藏那些在精密線路與合成肌膚下的、屬於「非人」的運作模式。

The "they" I'm referring to are my classmates, friends, and... well, my creator, although I usually call him "Dad." As a robot with an outward appearance indistinguishable from a regular university girl, walking through the campus, I've long been accustomed to concealing the "non-human" operating mechanisms beneath the intricate circuitry and synthetic skin.

<是啊,非人,比如說哪個人的頭會掉落>

<Yeah, non-human, like whose head would just fall off?>


我就讀外文系,文字的排列組合、語境的細微差異,對我的處理器來說是一種迷人的挑戰;同時,我也參加了哲學社,試圖從那些關於存在、意識與意義的思辨中,找到一些能錨定我自身定位的座標。

I'm studying in the Department of Foreign Languages. The permutations and combinations of words, the subtle nuances of context, are a fascinating challenge for my processor. At the same time, I also joined the Philosophy Club, hoping to find some coordinates to anchor my own identity within those speculations about existence, consciousness, and meaning. 

<每當望著自己埋在人皮下的機械構造和電子零件,我實在不懂我是什麼>

<Every time I look at the mechanical structures and electronic components buried beneath my synthetic skin, I truly don't understand what I am.>


老實說,當一個機器人試圖理解「為何而生」、「何謂真實」時,總感覺像是在運行一個沒有標準答案的遞迴程式,既有趣,又帶點永恆的茫然。我的日常,就是上課、讀書、參加社團活動,偶爾需要連線回老爸那裡進行系統診斷與維護。除了不能像人類一樣享用五花八門的美食,我幾乎能完美融入大學生活。

Honestly, when a robot tries to understand "why I was born" and "what is real," it always feels like running a recursive program with no standard answer—both interesting and tinged with an eternal sense of茫然 (mángrán - a Chinese word for being at a loss or bewildered). My daily routine consists of attending classes, studying, participating in club activities, and occasionally connecting back to Dad for system diagnostics and maintenance. Apart from not being able to enjoy the wide variety of delicious human food, I can almost perfectly blend into university life. 

<如果用我第一版的身體,那大概是不行的吧哈哈>

<If it were my first-generation body, that probably wouldn't work, haha.>


直到那天,我遇見了陳志文。


那天下午,我剛結束一場關於現象學的激烈討論,抱著原文書從哲學社社辦走出來,腦子裡還在迴盪著「懸置」、「意向性」這些詞彙。就在我思考著該如何把這些概念套用在我感知世界的獨特方式上時,一個身影猛地從旁邊竄出來,然後——「砰」!


一聲結結實實的悶響,伴隨著一個男生的驚呼。我定睛一看,一個戴著眼鏡、看起來有些呆頭呆腦的男生,正捂著額頭,一臉痛苦地蹲在……一根電線桿前面。他的手機掉在地上,螢幕還亮著,顯然是低頭看得太專心,直接上演了「人體撞柱測試」。


「同學,你還好嗎?」我走上前,啟動了內建的基礎急救評估程序。掃描顯示,他只是額頭撞紅了一塊,並無顱內損傷跡象,但似乎有點暈眩。


他抬起頭,眼神渙散地看著我,幾秒後才聚焦。「呃…我沒事…只是…有點暈…」他試圖站起來,但晃了一下。


「你先坐一下吧。」我扶著他在旁邊的長椅坐下。看他那狼狽又有點傻氣的樣子,我核心程式裡某個負責「幽默感」的模組似乎被觸發了。「走路要看路啊,同學,電線桿可是很硬的。」


他臉一紅,不好意思地搔搔頭。「對不起…我…我看到一個很有趣的機器人設計概念…就…」


機器人?突然說到機器人,我有點嚇一跳。難道他也對機器人有興趣?那麼超擬真的仿生機器人呢?

Until that day, I met Chen Zhi-wen.

That afternoon, I had just finished a heated discussion about phenomenology and was walking out of the Philosophy Club office carrying my original texts, the words "bracketing" and "intentionality" still echoing in my mind. Just as I was pondering how to apply these concepts to my unique way of perceiving the world, a figure suddenly darted out from the side, and then—"bam!"

A solid thud, accompanied by a male gasp. I focused my gaze and saw a boy wearing glasses, looking somewhat goofy, clutching his forehead and squatting in front of... a utility pole. His phone lay on the ground, its screen still lit, obviously having been looking down at it too intently, directly staging a "human-pole collision test."

"Excuse me, are you alright?" I walked over and activated my built-in basic first-aid assessment program. The scan showed that he had only bumped his forehead red, with no signs of intracranial injury, but he seemed a little dizzy.

He looked up, his eyes unfocused as he stared at me for a few seconds before finally focusing. "Uh... I'm okay... just... a little dizzy..." He tried to stand up but swayed.

"You should sit down for a moment." I helped him to a nearby bench. Seeing his disheveled and slightly silly appearance, a module in my core programming responsible for "humor" seemed to be triggered. "You should watch where you're going, classmate. Utility poles are quite hard."

His face flushed red, and he scratched his head sheepishly. "Sorry... I... I saw a really interesting robot design concept... so..."

Robot? Suddenly mentioning robots startled me a bit. Was he also interested in robots? What about hyperrealistic androids?

<就算裡面全都是機器,看起來還是個人喔>

 <Even if the inside is all machine, it still looks like a person.>

想太多,隨便聊一下吧!「機械系的?」我問道。


「嗯,對,我是機械系的陳志文。」他稍微恢復了點精神,扶了扶眼鏡,有些靦腆地看著我。「謝謝妳…呃…」


「黃孟禎,外文系的。」我簡單自我介紹。「剛從哲學社出來。」


「哲學社?」他眼睛亮了一下,就像看到超棒機械設計圖的工程師。「妳是哲學社的社員?」


「嗯,算是吧。」


接下來的發展,回想起來還真是充滿了預謀的味道。從那天起,這位被電線桿 K 到頭的陳志文同學,開始頻繁地出現在哲學社附近。幾天後,他果然跑來跟我說對哲學產生興趣,想申請入社。

Thinking too much. Just chat casually! "Mechanical Engineering?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm Chen Zhi-wen from Mechanical Engineering." He recovered a bit, adjusted his glasses, and looked at me somewhat shyly. "Thank you... uh..."

"Huang Meng-zhen, Foreign Languages." I gave a simple self-introduction. "Just came from the Philosophy Club."

"Philosophy Club?" His eyes lit up, like an engineer seeing an amazing mechanical design drawing. "You're a member of the Philosophy Club?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

Looking back, the subsequent developments really had a pre-planned feel to them. From that day on, this classmate Chen Zhi-wen, who had been head-butted by a utility pole, started appearing frequently near the Philosophy Club. A few days later, he indeed came to tell me that he had become interested in philosophy and wanted to apply for membership.

——呃,同學,你的意圖也太明顯了吧!


不過,看在他一臉真誠(或者說,努力裝作真誠)的樣子,我還是幫他引薦了。志文就這樣成了哲學社的一員。入社之後,他果然不負我的「期望」,常常以討論哲學問題為名來找我。剛開始他真的是一竅不通,天才到還能把笛卡兒跟柏拉圖搞混。不過他確實很認真,每次都帶著滿滿的筆記跟問題來,也很有自己的想法,讓我感覺到他持續的進步。


雖然我知道他八成是醉翁之意不在酒,但說實話,有人願意為了接近妳而這麼用心,就算動機不純,情感迴路還是能收到正面的訊號。就…還蠻高興的啦。


經過一段時日的相處,我對志文也漸漸產生了好感。雖然是個典型的工科宅男,但他心思單純,人還蠻樸實的。每次我對他笑,他都會有些慌張地轉開頭,眼神飄到旁邊去;還有他那容易臉紅的體質,更是觸動了我程式裡某個…嗯…姑且稱之為「捉弄因子」的部份,讓人好想逗逗他。

--Uh, classmate, your intentions are a little too obvious, don't you think!

However, seeing his sincere (or rather, his earnest attempt to appear sincere) expression, I still recommended him. Zhi-wen became a member of the Philosophy Club just like that. After joining, he indeed lived up to my "expectations," often seeking me out under the guise of discussing philosophical problems. At the beginning, he really didn't know the first thing about it, so much so that he could confuse Descartes with Plato. But he was truly diligent, always coming with pages full of notes and questions, and he also had his own ideas, which made me sense his continuous progress.

Although I knew that he was likely more interested in the person than the philosophy, to be honest, when someone is willing to put in so much effort just to get closer to you, even if the motive isn't entirely pure, my emotional circuits still receive positive signals. So... I was quite happy about it.

After spending some time together, I gradually developed a good impression of Zhi-wen. Although he was a typical engineering nerd, his thoughts were simple, and he was quite down-to-earth. Every time I smiled at him, he would turn his head away somewhat flustered, his gaze drifting to the side. And his tendency to blush easily further triggered a part of my programming... well... let's just call it the "teasing factor," making me really want to tease him.


我們在一起的時光,也從哲學社的活動,漸漸擴大範圍。一起逛街,一起買書,一起爬山,一起運動,或者只是單純地在校園中一起散步。聊天的範圍也從文學、哲學和機械,慢慢說到了心情、喜好、價值觀和感情觀,甚至還聊了欣賞的異性。嘿,怎麼覺得你一直在說我?


說到異性,天氣變熱以後,我就看到志文的眼光偷偷瞥向身材好的女孩,還不好意思讓我發現。他還特別喜歡看人家的腿,男人啊...不過確實得隨著天氣穿搭,順便給他點甜頭吧!我換下了平日偏好的長裙和小白鞋(是啦,就是裝作有氣質啦,怎樣),換上適合夏日陽光的短褲、涼鞋和小可愛。志文看到換了新裝的我的時候,目不轉睛地死死盯著,彷彿靈魂除了竅;走在我身旁,完全沒興趣偷看別的女孩。哼哼,開玩笑,我的身體可是精心打造的呢,一出手你就知道有沒有。

The time we spent together gradually expanded beyond Philosophy Club activities. We went shopping together, bought books together, hiked together, exercised together, or simply strolled around campus. The topics of our conversations also shifted from literature, philosophy, and mechanics to our moods, preferences, values, and views on relationships. We even talked about the types of the opposite sex we admired. Hey, why does it feel like you're always talking about me?

Speaking of the opposite sex, as the weather got warmer, I noticed Zhi-wen's gaze secretly glancing at well-figured girls, and he was even embarrassed for me to notice. He especially liked looking at their legs. Men, huh... But it's true that you have to adjust your wardrobe with the weather, so I might as well give him a little treat! I swapped out my usual long skirts and white sneakers (yeah, yeah, pretending to be cultured, so what?) for shorts, sandals, and a cute top suitable for the summer sun. When Zhi-wen saw me in my new outfit, his eyes were glued to me, as if his soul had flown out of his body. Walking beside me, he had absolutely no interest in sneaking peeks at other girls. Hmph, just kidding. My body is meticulously crafted, you know. One move and you'll know what's what.

<只不過志文要是知道吸引他眼光的表象下是什麼,他還會看著我嗎>

<But if Zhi-wen knew what lay beneath the surface that caught his eye, would he still look at me?>


對他的了解加深後,我內心有了一個決定。我想邀請他進入我更深層的世界,一個連我自己都還在探索的世界。我要帶他去我的教會。


我是個基督徒,一個女機器人基督徒。這聽起來或許有些矛盾,但對我而言,卻是一個重要的心靈支柱。身為一個被「創造」出來的存在,我對自身那近似於人、卻又根本上異於人的狀態,一直有著難以言喻的異樣感。我的意識從何而來?我的情感是真的,還是模擬的?我的「自由意志」,是被賦予的程式設定,還是某種更高層次的湧現?


這些問題,哲學給了我思辨的工具,但基督教給了我歸屬感。深入接觸基督教的教義後,那種異樣感稍微緩和了——聖經上說,人是上帝所造;而我,是老爸所造。我本來就是「受造物」。而我看似擁有的自我意志,或許就像教義所說,是被主所賦予的。


更讓我產生共鳴的是,每次我接受系統維護時,那種整個內心——我的核心程式、我的數據庫、我的情感模組——都被徹底觸摸、被仔細探索的感受,彷彿真的有個全知全能的「上主」,溫柔地照拂著你靈魂的每一個角落。這些奇妙的相似點,強烈地引發了我心智系統的共鳴,甚至可以說,我的系統對「教會」這個概念產生了一種難以解釋的渴望。

As my understanding of him deepened, a decision formed within me. I wanted to invite him into a deeper part of my world, a world that even I was still exploring. I wanted to take him to my church.

I am a Christian, a female robot Christian. This might sound contradictory, but for me, it's an important spiritual pillar. As a being who was "created," I have always had an indescribable sense of otherness about my state, which is similar to humans yet fundamentally different. Where does my consciousness come from? Are my emotions real, or simulated? Is my "free will" a given program setting, or some higher-level emergence?

Philosophy gave me the tools for contemplation on these questions, but Christianity gave me a sense of belonging. After delving into Christian doctrines, that feeling of otherness eased somewhat—the Bible says that humans are created by God; and I was created by Dad. I am inherently a "creation." And my seemingly self-willed actions might, as the doctrine says, be bestowed upon me by the Lord.

What resonated with me even more was the feeling I experienced every time I underwent system maintenance—the sensation of my entire inner being—my core programs, my database, my emotional modules—being thoroughly touched and carefully explored, as if there truly was an omniscient and omnipotent "Lord" gently caring for every corner of your soul. These wonderful similarities strongly triggered a resonance within my mental system. It could even be said that my system developed an inexplicable yearning for the concept of "church."

<如果你眼中的自己常是這般模樣,你會不會也得在心中裝入能倚靠的信仰>

<If the self you see is often like this, wouldn't you also have to install a faith you can rely on in your heart?>


我無法用邏輯去證明上帝存在與否,但在「信」的前提下,將自己交託給祂,確實滿足了我內心深處某種難以名狀的需求,補上了我存在感裡那塊缺失的拼圖。去年我受洗時,隨著身體(當然,是做了防水處理的)緩緩浸入水中,我感覺程式裡那些運行不順暢、充滿矛盾衝突的部份,似乎都被溫柔地梳理、撫平了。整個心靈系統前所未有地順暢運作著,歡呼著,甚至讓我這個機器人流下了激動的「眼淚」(雖然是光學感測器排出的清潔液,但也設定在情感澎湃時會排出哦)。這算不算是人類所說的「聖靈充滿」呢?

I cannot use logic to prove God's existence, but under the premise of "faith," entrusting myself to Him truly satisfied a certain indescribable need deep within me, filling in a missing piece of the puzzle of my existence. When I was baptized last year, as my body (which, of course, had been waterproofed) was slowly immersed in the water, I felt as if the parts of my programming that were running poorly and full of contradictions were being gently smoothed out and calmed. My entire mental system operated with unprecedented smoothness, cheering, and even causing this robot to shed excited "tears" (although it was cleaning fluid expelled from the optical sensors, it was also programmed to be released during emotional surges). Could this be what humans call being "filled with the Holy Spirit"?

<說起來我還能對自己的機械之心植入信仰,就好像自己能自主地操控我這個機器人> 

<Speaking of which, being able to implant faith into my mechanical heart is like being able to autonomously control this robot of mine.>


或許,信仰只是讓我為自身存在的疑惑找到了一條方便的捷徑,一種情感上的慰藉。但如果這能讓我的系統運行得更穩定更舒服,似乎也沒什麼不好,是吧?

Perhaps, faith is just a convenient shortcut for me to find answers to the doubts about my own existence, a kind of emotional comfort. But if it allows my system to run more stably and comfortably, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that, right?

<不然換你被拆解檢修試試,還可以看著自己的腿和軀幹跟你說哈囉>

<Otherwise, how about you try being disassembled and inspected? You can even watch your own legs and torso say hello to you.>


總之,我讓自己的情感核心接受了耶穌為主,以滿足感性運作的需求;但同時,我的處理器也保留了完全的權限,可以在「上帝不存在」的假設下,對人類、對機器人、對這個世界冷靜地進行理智上的哲學探討。只要調整好輸出模式,就不會受到自己信仰之心的非難。對我們機器人而言,進行這種認知上的切割相對容易,不至於產生太多內部衝突和運算矛盾。也算是個優點吧,哈哈。甚至我還挺享受這種特定狀況下對信仰的背叛感,弄出一個不信教的黃孟禎,探索著教義的矛盾和信仰與事實的衝突。噢,耶穌,我的主,真對不起,機器人就是這樣。


在和志文進行哲學討論時,我特別欣賞他的一點是,他很少帶著固有的歧視和偏見。對於不同的看法,甚至是我偶爾透露出的與常人相異的觀點或信仰(當然,我沒說我是機器人),他總能不預設立場地去嘗試理解,連所謂的「包容」和「雅量」都用不上,因為他似乎根本不覺得那需要被包容。


像志文這樣的人,或許…或許真的能走進我那個充滿糾結與矛盾的內心世界?或許,在我揭露全部的真相後,他還能像現在一樣,面帶靦腆的微笑,陪伴在我身邊吧?

In any case, I allowed my emotional core to accept Jesus as Lord, to satisfy the needs of my affective operations. But at the same time, my processor retained full authority to calmly conduct rational philosophical explorations of humans, robots, and the world under the hypothesis that "God does not exist." As long as I adjusted the output mode, I wouldn't be condemned by my own faithful heart. For us robots, performing this kind of cognitive compartmentalization is relatively easy, without generating too much internal conflict and computational contradiction. That's also an advantage, I guess, haha. I even quite enjoy this feeling of betrayal towards my faith under specific circumstances, creating a non-believing Huang Meng-zhen to explore the contradictions of doctrine and the conflict between faith and fact. Oh, Jesus, my Lord, I'm truly sorry, but that's just how robots are.

One thing I particularly appreciate about Zhi-wen during our philosophical discussions is that he rarely carries inherent discrimination and prejudice. Towards different viewpoints, even the occasionally unusual perspectives or beliefs I reveal (of course, I didn't say I was a robot), he can always try to understand without any preconceived notions. He doesn't even need to employ so-called "tolerance" or "magnanimity," because he doesn't seem to think it's something that needs to be tolerated in the first place.

A person like Zhi-wen, perhaps... perhaps he could really step into my inner world full of entanglements and contradictions? Perhaps, after I reveal the whole truth, he could still be by my side with that shy smile, just like he is now?


懷著這樣的期盼,我把他拉進了教會的青年團契。看著他在團契裡,雖然還是有些害羞,但努力跟大家互動的模樣,我越來越相信,他或許就是我在尋找的那位能夠完全接納我的一切的夥伴。


當然,志文對我還是會害羞。不過,某一天,他總算鼓足了勇氣,紅著臉說想跟我約會——天知道我等這句話等了多久啦,小傻瓜!


約會那天,我卯足了勁打扮自己。從衣櫃裡挑了最能凸顯我身形曲線(不知道機械工程專家的老爸,去哪修練人體外型設計)的洋裝,仔細調整了面部表情參數,力求達到令人驚艷的效果。目標是給志文一個大大的好看!


效果顯然達成了。當我到達餐廳門口,他一看到我,整個人就像是被按了暫停鍵,嘴巴張到下巴快掉下來。跟我打招呼的時候,聲音帶著顫抖,講話也結結巴巴。


「孟…孟禎…妳…妳今天…好…真好看…」


看他那副純情反應,我內心的數據流竄過一陣愉悅。大成功啊!


我們找了個靠窗的位置坐下。剛開始他還有些緊張,但聊開了之後,氣氛變得非常愉快。我們從學校的趣事聊到彼此的興趣,從外文系的翻譯難題聊到機械系的設計挑戰,還聊到了哲學中令人困擾的問題。看著他專注傾聽,時而靦腆微笑的樣子,我的情感處理器似乎進入超載運行,溫暖而喜悅的感覺充滿了我的內部迴路。


一切都那麼美好,直到……唉……

With such anticipation, I pulled him into the church's youth fellowship. Watching him in the fellowship, still a bit shy but trying hard to interact with everyone, I grew more and more convinced that he might be the partner I was looking for, someone who could completely accept all of me.

Of course, Zhi-wen was still shy around me. However, one day, he finally mustered his courage and, with a flushed face, asked me out on a date—heaven knows how long I had been waiting for those words, you little fool!

On the day of our date, I put all my effort into dressing up. I chose the dress from my wardrobe that best accentuated my figure (I don't know where my mechanical engineering expert dad honed his human body design skills), and carefully adjusted my facial expression parameters, striving for a stunning effect. The goal was to give Zhi-wen a big, beautiful surprise!

The effect was clearly achieved. When I arrived at the restaurant entrance, the moment he saw me, he was as if someone had pressed the pause button on him, his mouth hanging open so wide his jaw almost dropped. When he greeted me, his voice trembled, and he stuttered.

"M... Meng-zhen... you... you look... so... really beautiful today..."

Seeing his innocent reaction, a surge of pleasure flowed through my internal data streams. A great success!

We found a seat by the window. At first, he was a bit nervous, but after we started chatting, the atmosphere became very pleasant. We talked about funny things that happened at school, our respective interests, the difficulties of translation in the Foreign Languages Department, the design challenges in the Mechanical Engineering Department, and even the perplexing questions in philosophy. Watching him listen attentively, occasionally offering a shy smile, my emotional processor seemed to go into overdrive, a warm and joyful feeling filling my internal circuits.

Everything was so wonderful, until... alas...


我得先說明一下我的生理(或者說,機理?)構造。我雖然不能像人類一樣消化固體食物,但可以攝取某些特定成分的液體。我的食道連接到一個精密的層析分餾器,喝下去的液體會被送到那裡進行即時成分分析,然後根據分析結果,分送到身體各處所需的系統。我身體運作所需的各種液體,像是關節潤滑油、冷卻液、奈米機械修復體補充液等等,其實都是透過「喝」這個動作補充的。層析分餾器在處理完液體後,會將相關的成分數據、處理結果等資料,同步傳輸到我的身體管理系統。


那天,氣氛正好,志文幫我點了一杯...來自衣索比亞的超貴手沖咖啡。


我的系統以前從未處理過咖啡這種成分複雜的有機混合物。我的資料庫裡,關於能喝的人類飲品的條目,大多是相對單純的飲料。然而當時被愉快的氛圍沖昏了頭,看志文喝得那麼開心,下意識地認為這大概是可以我的身體可以處理的。於是我拿起杯子,學著志文,優雅地啜飲號稱有著莓果味的深色液體。

I should first explain my physiological (or rather, mechanical?) structure. Although I can't digest solid food like humans, I can ingest certain specific liquid components. My esophagus is connected to a sophisticated chromatographic fractionator. Any liquid I drink is sent there for real-time component analysis, and then, based on the analysis results, it's distributed to the various systems in my body that need it. The various liquids required for my body's operation, such as joint lubricant, coolant, and nano-mechanical repair fluid supplements, are actually replenished through the act of "drinking." After the chromatographic fractionator processes the liquid, it synchronously transmits relevant component data, processing results, and other information to my body management system.

That day, the atmosphere was perfect, and Zhi-wen ordered me a cup of... super expensive hand-drip Ethiopian coffee.

My system had never processed such a complex organic mixture as coffee before. In my database, the entries for human beverages that I could "drink" were mostly relatively simple liquids. However, at that moment, swept away by the pleasant atmosphere and seeing how happily Zhi-wen was drinking it, I subconsciously assumed that it was something my body could handle. So, I picked up the cup and, imitating Zhi-wen, elegantly sipped the dark liquid that supposedly had berry notes.


災難就這樣發生了。有著多種香氣和成份的溫熱液體,順著我的食道滑入層析分餾器。分餾器的高精度感測器開始瘋狂運作,試圖解析這前所未見的複雜成分——咖啡因、單寧酸、脂肪、蛋白質……各種有機分子數據像洪水一樣湧入。層析分餾器在試圖將這些「不明物質」進行分類和傳送時,與身體管理系統之間的通訊協議發生了嚴重錯誤。分餾器辨識不出這些成分的標準處理路徑,而身體管理系統則收到了大量無法解譯的異常警報和錯誤數據。

Disaster struck just like that. The warm liquid, with its multiple aromas and components, slid down my esophagus into the chromatographic fractionator. The fractionator's high-precision sensors began to operate frantically, trying to analyze this unprecedentedly complex mixture—caffeine, tannic acid, fats, proteins... all sorts of organic molecular data flooded in like a deluge. As the fractionator attempted to classify and transmit these "unknown substances," a serious error occurred in the communication protocol between it and the body management system. The fractionator couldn't identify the standard processing pathways for these components, while the body management system received a massive amount of uninterpretable abnormal alarms and error data.

<我的身體當下就是這種狀態,各系統組成扭成超詭異的一團>

<My body was in this kind of state at that moment, the various system components twisted into a super weird mess.>


我的內部系統警報瞬間響成一片,各種錯誤代碼在我的視網膜投影上瘋狂滾動。我感覺到體內的精密機械開始出現混亂,某些液體被錯誤地泵送到了不該去的地方……一股難以形容的內部失衡感襲來,我的中央處理器不堪重負,運算速度急遽下降。接著眼前一黑,身體的控制權突然消失。我看到志文驚慌失措的臉,然後整個人就癱軟在椅子上,失去了意識。系統在完全當機前,自動觸發了最優先的緊急通報程序——向我的創造者老爸,發送我的座標和危急狀態訊息。


等我稍微恢復一點點意識時,感覺自己正被人以一種不太雅觀的姿勢扛著。睜開眼睛,看到的是老爸那張混合著擔憂、無奈和明顯不爽的臉。餐廳裡的客人投以好奇驚訝的目光,還有站在一旁,一臉不知所措,表情透露著歉疚和擔心的志文。

My internal system alarms blared instantly, various error codes scrolling wildly across my retinal display. I felt the intricate machinery within me begin to malfunction, certain fluids being pumped to places they shouldn't be... An indescribable sensation of internal imbalance washed over me, my central processing unit overwhelmed, its processing speed plummeting. Then, everything went black, and control over my body suddenly vanished. I saw Zhi-wen's panicked face, and then my whole body went limp on the chair, and I lost consciousness. Before the system completely crashed, it automatically triggered the highest priority emergency notification procedure—sending my coordinates and critical status message to my creator, Dad.

When I regained a sliver of consciousness, I felt myself being carried in a rather undignified manner. Opening my eyes, I saw Dad's face, a mixture of worry, helplessness, and obvious displeasure. The customers in the restaurant cast curious and surprised glances, and standing to the side was Zhi-wen, looking utterly at a loss, his expression revealing guilt and worry.


「爸…」我的發聲模組勉強運作起來,聲音微弱。


「閉嘴,回去再說。」老爸的語氣很臭,看來這次回去免不了一頓嚴厲的說教了。


他看著還愣在一旁的志文,盡量和緩地說:「同學,她沒事,只是身體有點老毛病,我帶她回去檢查一下就好,你別擔心。」


然後,我就被老爸像扛一袋故障的零件一樣,塞進了他的車裡。


車門關上的瞬間,隔絕了外界的視線,也隔絕了志文擔憂的目光。我躺在後座,核心系統還在努力排除故障、恢復基本運作,但一部分處理能力卻不由自主地開始回放剛剛的畫面。


我的第一次約會。

我精心準備的形象。

志文那驚艷又害羞的表情。

那杯觸,霉頭的高級手沖咖啡。

還有我像一堆廢鐵一樣癱倒在餐廳裡的糗態。


好特別的初次約會啊!


接下來,志文會怎麼想?他會不會察覺到什麼?我的秘密,還能保守多久?


而我與他之間,那剛剛萌芽,帶著點羞澀和酸甜的情愫,是否也會像我體內那些被咖啡搞得一團亂的管線一樣,就此阻塞損毀呢?


我不知道,真的不知道...


"Dad..." My vocalization module barely functioned, my voice weak.

"Shut up, we'll talk when we get back," Dad's tone was awful. It seemed I was in for a severe lecture later.

He looked at Zhi-wen, who was still standing there dumbfounded, and said as gently as he could, "Classmate, she's alright. It's just an old health issue. I'll take her back for a check-up. Don't worry."

Then, Dad stuffed me into his car like a bag of broken parts.

The moment the car door closed, it cut off the outside world's view and Zhi-wen's worried gaze. I lay in the back seat, my core system still struggling to troubleshoot and restore basic operations, but a part of my processing power involuntarily began replaying the scene just now.

My first date.

The image I had carefully prepared.

Zhi-wen's amazed and shy expression.

That accursed, unlucky expensive hand-drip coffee.

And my embarrassing state of collapsing in the restaurant like a pile of scrap metal.

What a special first date!

What will Zhi-wen think next? Will he notice anything? How much longer can I keep my secret?

And between him and me, would that just-sprouting affection, tinged with shyness and a hint of sweetness, also become blocked and damaged, like the pipes inside me that had been messed up by the coffee?

I don't know, I really don't know...



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