機械基督徒少女 後日談 02

尋找自我的機器基督徒少女

Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl

後日談 02 機械信仰

Sequel 02: Mechanical Faith

本篇乃由終章中信仰心錯亂部分發展而成，可先閱讀終章（下篇）。

This piece is developed from the section on disoriented faith in the Final Chapter. You may wish to read the Final Chapter (Part Two) first.

========================

孟禎的系統運轉強大而高效，是知識與技術的結晶，這使得她在日常生活中，大多能表現得如同常人。然而，再厲害的工程師，也無法預先抓出所有可能的系統運轉缺失和超常規操作的副作用，特別是在非穩定運作的條件下。孟禎就用過這樣的挑戰。

有一次，警鐘在孟禎參加青年團契時響起。那天，一位新來的教友在分享見證時，情緒激昂，言辭懇切，淚光閃爍，講述著上帝如何在他人生低谷施以奇蹟般的恩典。在場的許多人都被深深感動，然而孟禎——這個平日裡對信仰體驗無比渴求的她——卻從頭到尾感受到一種強烈的、如芒刺背的彆扭感。

那不是對教友經歷的懷疑，她的分析模組評定對方陳述的事件邏輯自洽；也不是對其情感真實性的否定，她的情感識別系統明確標註了那是高強度的「感恩」與「喜悅」。問題出在更細微的地方——一種難以言喻的時序落差。她的信仰心已進入運作，確實地從週邊教友們的感恩喜悅中接收到信仰，但人造腦的教義、想法和狀況辨識的運作，似乎無法同步。信仰心和人造腦之間，彷彿有了半個波長的相位差。這細微卻頻繁的不同步，讓孟禎在分享信仰的場合，如同觀看一部聲音與畫面屢屢有不固定的錯位的電影，在孟禎高度整合的感知系統中，被放大成一種令人不安的「虛假感」，一種接近「恐怖谷」的心理不適。更糟的是，這種外部觀察到的「失調」，竟隱隱觸發了她自身系統內部的某些共振，讓她感到一陣難言的混亂。

Meng Zhen's system operates powerfully and efficiently, it's a crystallization of knowledge and technology. This allows her to function mostly like a normal person in her daily life. However, even the most skilled engineer cannot anticipate all possible system malfunctions and side effects of unconventional operations, especially under unstable conditions. Meng Zhen has faced such challenges.

Once, an alarm sounded while Meng Zhen was attending a youth fellowship. That day, a new member shared his testimony with great emotion, heartfelt words, and teary eyes, recounting how God had bestowed miraculous grace upon him during a low point in his life. Many present were deeply moved, yet Meng Zhen—who usually yearned intensely for experiences of faith—felt a strong, persistent sense of awkwardness throughout, like thorns in her back.

It wasn't doubt about the member's experience; her analysis module determined the events described were logically consistent. Nor was it a denial of the genuineness of his emotions; her emotion recognition system clearly labeled them as high-intensity "gratitude" and "joy." The problem lay in a more subtle area—an indescribable temporal discrepancy. Her faith sense had become active, genuinely receiving faith from the gratitude and joy of those around her, but the operations of her artificial brain's doctrine, thought, and situation recognition seemed unable to synchronize. It was as if there was a half-wavelength phase difference between her faith sense and her artificial brain. This subtle but frequent desynchronization made Meng Zhen feel, in faith-sharing settings, like watching a movie where the sound and picture were repeatedly and inconsistently out of sync. In Meng Zhen's highly integrated perceptual system, this was amplified into an unsettling "sense of falseness," a psychological discomfort approaching the "uncanny valley." What was worse, this observed "disharmony" from the outside subtly triggered certain resonances within her own internal system, causing her a difficult-to-describe confusion.

當教友們高呼把自己交給上帝時，孟禎的腦竟然還不合時宜地開啟了對上帝存在的邏輯演算，這讓她的信仰心進入了一種內部運作的尷尬狀態中，同時也讓她心腦交流形成的自我意識，不知道當下自己打算做什麼，想要什麼。在現場一片激昂的信仰情感溢流中，孟禎成了局外人；她甚至在內部中，自己的運作都對自己形成局外人了，遑論對外部饋入的複雜資訊應對處置？

身旁的教友察覺到孟禎的異常，以為她是因為近期的經歷或情緒，還是身體不適，讓一向虔誠熱情的她，無法與教友共享上帝恩典的體驗。他們紛紛安慰孟禎，詢問她的狀況，希望能幫助她。教友的好意對進入異常狀態的孟禎造成額外的負擔，她實在無法因應。更有教友質疑她的信仰心不再堅定，而人造腦不時蹦出的對基督信仰偏向否認的知識和看法，又讓孟禎的信仰心遭到內外夾擊。她在瀕臨崩潰前匆匆逃出教會，衝回家找志文。

孟禎的異常自動通報系統早已對志文隨身攜帶的終端發送簡報，等孟禎回家時，志文已先到實驗室進行準備了。「陳志文，快來修理你的破機器人，她又故障了！我丟了好大的臉，也對不起上帝...」孟禎一進門就大叫，發洩累積的情緒。除了異常狀態的衝擊和團契場合的尷尬，她還產生了對自己的沮喪。

When fellow members fervently proclaimed their surrender to God, Meng Zhen's brain unseasonably initiated a logical calculus regarding God's existence. This plunged her faith sense into an awkward state of internal operation, while also causing her self-awareness, formed by the communication between her heart and brain, to be unsure of what she intended to do or want at that moment. Amidst the overflowing, passionate religious sentiment in the room, Meng Zhen became an outsider; internally, even her own operations became foreign to herself, let alone her ability to process and respond to the complex information fed in from the outside.

The fellow members beside her noticed Meng Zhen's anomaly. They thought it was due to recent experiences, emotions, or physical discomfort that prevented her, usually so devout and enthusiastic, from sharing in the experience of God's grace with them. They offered Meng Zhen comfort, inquired about her condition, hoping to help her. Their well-intentioned kindness became an additional burden for Meng Zhen in her abnormal state; she simply couldn't cope. Furthermore, some members questioned whether her faith had wavered, and the knowledge and views leaning towards denial of the Christian faith that occasionally popped up from her artificial brain subjected Meng Zhen's faith sense to attacks from both within and without. On the verge of collapse, she hastily fled the church and rushed home to find Zhiwen.

Meng Zhen's abnormal automatic reporting system had already sent a brief report to the terminal Zhiwen carried with him. By the time Meng Zhen got home, Zhiwen had already gone to the laboratory to prepare. "Chen Zhiwen, come quickly and fix your broken robot, she's malfunctioning again! I was so humiliated and I let God down..." Meng Zhen shouted as soon as she entered the door, venting her pent-up emotions. Besides the impact of her abnormal state and the embarrassment at the fellowship, she also felt a sense of frustration with herself.

在志文的安慰下，因已不再處於信仰心必須發揮作用的場合，孟禎慢慢地穩定了自己的系統。她還是很生氣，明明是自己的腦帶著自己的心去信教的，怎麼腦還在這樣的場合「叛變」了？她差點就拔下自己的頭扔出去。

志文早已調閱好孟禎內部系統運作的各項紀錄資料，還聽取孟禎的狀況描述，心中已有整個事件的初步圖像。為了讓孟禎更好理解，他以AI大模型繪製成示意圖。在圖中，教友的呼喊激發了孟禎的信仰心，信仰心試圖接收來自上帝的旨意，但她的腦不在其應有的位置（狀態），躲起來自顧自地運算。對當下的孟禎而言，就是個大寫的"TROUBLE"。

Under Zhiwen's comfort, and no longer being in a situation where her faith sense was required to function, Meng Zhen slowly stabilized her system. She was still very angry. Her brain had clearly led her heart to believe in religion, so how could her brain "rebel" at such a time? She almost ripped off her head and threw it away.

Zhiwen had already retrieved various records of Meng Zhen's internal system operations and listened to her description of the situation, forming a preliminary picture of the entire event in his mind. To help Meng Zhen understand better, he used a large AI model to draw a schematic diagram. In the diagram, the fellow members' shouts stimulated Meng Zhen's faith sense, and her faith sense attempted to receive God's will. However, her brain was not in its proper place (state); it was hiding and calculating on its own. For Meng Zhen at that moment, this was a capital "TROUBLE."

孟禎看了圖，氣到笑出來。她真的解除頭部的連結，進入遠距通聯模式，然後拿起頭丟向志文。志文被孟禎的頭衝撞，露出疼痛的表情，但他還是輕輕地接住孟禎的頭，繼續跟孟禎嬉鬧。新的情緒洗去舊狀況的影響，孟禎的內部系統運作再度趨於一致。志文判斷狀況ok了，溫柔地對孟禎說：

「孟禎，我們一起來修理破機器人，妳說好不好？」

「好啊...欸，等等，你說誰破啊？」

「妳自己說的呀。」

志文把孟禎的頭裝回去，並將診斷系統連接到孟禎的核心。果然，在特定的認知與情感交互區塊，他發現了微小但確實存在的模型參數動態重整延遲。數據流並非阻塞，而是在某些節點上出現了對應系統新構型的延遲時間，但這些延遲時間並未被新增交流型態的系統模組計入考量，以至於模型運作會有難以預料的滯後或發散。經過疊代運算後，甚至能造成孟禎意識形成的錯位。

類似的狀況，孟禎並非初次體驗。事實上，在從「不信」進入「信」的受洗當天，孟禎的內部運作也曾達到最大異常，系統的各個模組在交互中產生了各式各樣的謬誤，如同組成她的各部件隨意組裝，自我的各部分不在其應有位置（參考「陳志文視角」篇）。

Meng Zhen looked at the diagram and laughed out of exasperation. She actually detached her head, entered remote communication mode, and then threw her head towards Zhiwen. Zhiwen flinched as Meng Zhen's head hit him, showing a pained expression, but he still gently caught her head and continued to playfully banter with her. The new emotions washed away the impact of the old situation, and Meng Zhen's internal system operations gradually became consistent again. Zhiwen judged that the situation was okay and gently said to Meng Zhen:

"Meng Zhen, how about we fix the broken robot together?"

"Okay... hey, wait, who are you calling broken?"

"You said it yourself."

Zhiwen reattached Meng Zhen's head and connected the diagnostic system to her core. Sure enough, in specific cognitive and emotional interaction blocks, he found a tiny but definite delay in model parameter dynamic reorganization. The data flow wasn't blocked, but at certain nodes, there was a delay time corresponding to the new system configuration. However, these delay times were not factored in by the system modules for the newly added interaction types, leading to unpredictable lag or divergence in model operations. After iterative calculations, this could even cause a dislocation in the formation of Meng Zhen's consciousness.

This wasn't the first time Meng Zhen had experienced a similar situation. In fact, on the day of her baptism, when she transitioned from "non-belief" to "belief," Meng Zhen's internal operations also reached their maximum abnormality. The various modules of the system produced all sorts of errors during their interaction, as if the components that made her up were randomly assembled, and the different parts of her self were not in their proper positions (refer to the chapter "Chen Zhiwen's Perspective").

只是那天黃博士也在線上遠程監看孟禎系統的運作，他即時地分析診斷，進行臨時性的非常規修補，勉強維持孟禎的系統運作不過於異常。黃博士也沒特意跟孟禎提這件事，只是在事後幫她進行完整修復。孟禎還以為是她自己臨場自行處理的功勞，沒有太在意，繼續完成受洗的全過程；結果這次黃博士不在線上啦~

經過抽絲剝繭地分析，以及對比孟禎近期頻繁使用「系統切換」功能的日誌記錄，志文終於鎖定了問題的根源。孟禎自以為得意的「切換大法」，實際上是個手法粗糙的模組作弊方式。她為了在理性探討時徹底屏蔽信仰的影響，採用的模組輸出入重定向，並非真正意義上的「乾淨分離」，更像是在高速公路上強行搭建了幾個臨時匝道。這種「非法操作」雖然暫時達到了目的，卻在系統底層留下了難以察覺的交互延遲和潛在的數據碎片，如同水管中日積月累的水垢，影響了整體運行的流暢性，並在特定情境下暴露出來。

「妳這個自以為聰明的小傻瓜，」志文輕輕敲一下孟禎的額頭，「妳以為妳騙過了系統，結果是系統給妳記了一筆高息的債！」

要修復這個問題，就必須精確捕捉到「非法操作」時模組間的實際落差，並重寫交互的底層支配程式。這意味著，孟禎需要再次進行「系統切換」，並在切換狀態下，執行一系列能最大限度暴露衝突的操作。

However, on that day, Dr. Huang was also online, remotely monitoring Meng Zhen's system operations. He analyzed and diagnosed in real-time, performing temporary unconventional patches to barely keep Meng Zhen's system from becoming too abnormal. Dr. Huang didn't specifically mention this to Meng Zhen; he simply performed a full repair for her afterward. Meng Zhen thought it was her own quick thinking on the spot that had resolved the issue and didn't pay much attention, continuing to complete the entire baptism process. But this time, Dr. Huang wasn't online!

After a painstaking analysis, and by comparing the log records of Meng Zhen's frequent use of the "system switching" function recently, Zhiwen finally pinpointed the root cause of the problem. Meng Zhen's self-proclaimed "great switching method" was actually a crude module cheating technique. To completely shield the influence of faith during rational discussions, she used input/output redirection for modules, which wasn't a truly "clean separation." It was more like forcibly building several temporary ramps on a highway. Although this "illegal operation" temporarily achieved its purpose, it left behind imperceptible interaction delays and potential data fragments at the system's bottom layer, like limescale accumulating in a water pipe, affecting the overall operational smoothness and exposing itself under specific circumstances.

"You little fool who thought you were clever," Zhiwen gently tapped Meng Zhen's forehead. "You thought you tricked the system, but it turns out the system charged you a high-interest debt!"

To fix this problem, they would have to precisely capture the actual discrepancy between the modules during the "illegal operation" and rewrite the underlying control program for interaction. This meant Meng Zhen would need to perform "system switching" again and, while in the switched state, execute a series of operations that would expose the conflicts to the maximum extent.

「孟禎，」志文的表情嚴肅起來，「接下來的測試，可能會讓妳的『心』非常不舒服，妳確定要繼續嗎？」

孟禎毫不猶豫地點頭，眼神堅定：「我相信你，沒關係，放手去做。」

於是，測試開始了。孟禎進入了「系統切換」狀態，她的頭顱被志文小心地卸下，進入遠程通聯模式。志文深吸一口氣，開始透過指令介面，要求孟禎（的理性大腦模組）執行一系列對她信仰核心極具挑戰性的任務。

「分析《約伯記》中上帝行為的道德瑕疵。」

「從歷史批判角度，論證耶利哥屠城的不人道性。」

「否定耶穌的神性，將其作為一位社會改革家進行評估。」

「指出《聖經》中存在的邏輯矛盾和對埃及降災的殘酷性。」

螢幕上，代表孟禎理性大腦的數據流冷靜而清晰地執行著指令，如同AI大模型般，輸出條理分明的分析報告。然而，另一塊監測著情感核心狀態的螢幕上，卻是驚心動魄的景象——代表「信仰」、「敬畏」、「愛」的參數曲線劇烈震盪，警報級別的壓力指數不斷飆升，紅色的警告標識如同心臟般搏動閃爍。志文甚至能從與軀幹連接的仿生反饋感測器讀數中，看到模擬的「心率」飆升和「肌肉」的微弱痙攣。

"Meng Zhen," Zhiwen's expression turned serious, "the next test might make your 'heart' very uncomfortable. Are you sure you want to continue?"

Meng Zhen nodded without hesitation, her eyes firm: "I trust you. It's okay, go ahead and do it."

And so, the test began. Meng Zhen entered the "system switching" state. Her head was carefully detached by Zhiwen, entering remote communication mode. Zhiwen took a deep breath and began to issue a series of commands through the interface, asking Meng Zhen (specifically her rational brain module) to perform tasks that were extremely challenging to her core beliefs.

"Analyze the moral flaws in God's actions in the Book of Job."

"From a historical-critical perspective, argue for the inhumanity of the massacre of Jericho."

"Deny the divinity of Jesus, evaluating him instead as a social reformer."

"Point out the logical contradictions in the Bible and the cruelty of the plagues on Egypt."

On the screen representing Meng Zhen's rational brain, the data flow calmly and clearly executed the commands, outputting well-structured analysis reports like a large AI model. However, on another screen monitoring the state of her emotional core, a startling scene unfolded—the parameter curves representing "faith," "awe," and "love" fluctuated violently, the alarm-level stress index continuously soared, and red warning indicators pulsed and flickered like a beating heart. Zhiwen could even read from the biosensing feedback connected to her torso the simulated "heart rate" spiking and subtle "muscle" spasms.

她的信仰心正在承受巨大的痛苦和自責，即使在此刻被腦所屏蔽。志文緊盯著數據，手指飛快地記錄下每一個衝突爆發點的參數快照，心中卻也承受著煎熬。還好過程順利，不需要反覆施行測試。

數據採集接近尾聲時，志文心情終於比較放鬆，忽然起了玩心。他看到孟禎那顆被卸下的頭顱，因為處於遠程模式的高耗能運算中，表情顯得格外專注而茫然。他悄悄拿起旁邊實驗台上散落的幾個零件，迅速拼湊出一個粗糙扭曲而充滿後現代風格的「機械十字架」。

然後，他躡手躡腳地走到孟禎（的身體）旁邊，趁她不注意，將這個「十字架」輕輕卡在她脖頸的連接埠附近，那裡正是遠程模式下頭顱與身體之間無線通訊模組的位置。

Her faith sense was enduring immense pain and self-reproach, even though it was currently shielded by her brain. Zhiwen kept a close eye on the data, his fingers rapidly taking parameter snapshots at every point of conflict eruption, his heart also bearing the strain. Thankfully, the process went smoothly and didn't require repeated testing.

As data collection neared its end, Zhiwen finally felt more relaxed and suddenly felt playful. He saw Meng Zhen's detached head, which, being in high-power consumption computation in remote mode, had an exceptionally focused yet vacant expression. He quietly picked up a few scattered parts from the adjacent workbench and quickly pieced together a crude, distorted, post-modern "mechanical cross."

Then, he tiptoed over to Meng Zhen's body and, when she wasn't paying attention, gently wedged this "cross" near the connection port on her neck. This was the location of the wireless communication module between the head and the body in remote mode.

「呃…志文…訊號…干擾…」孟禎（的頭顱）聲音斷斷續續地傳來，螢幕上的數據流也開始出現波動和錯誤，她甚至連控制自己的眼球協調轉動都變得困難起來。

「別急嘛，孟禎教友，」志文憋著笑，一本正經地說，「妳看，這是將妳的信仰心『具現化』了呀！十字架嘛，當然要從心（胸腔）裡長出來，然後豎立在妳連接上蒼（脖子）的地方，才更能好好接收主的福音嘛！」

「陳—志—文—！」孟禎氣急敗壞的聲音從揚聲器裡傳來，即使在系統切換狀態下，這種惡作劇也足以讓她的邏輯處理器判定為「極度惡劣」，「你是尋我開心是吧！？明明知道我現在感知不到信仰特徵，你才故意拿我的零件弄個十字架來搞我！你是要怎樣啦！」

志文哈哈大笑，連忙道歉，手卻沒停，飛快地用平板拍下了這張「機械聖像」的珍貴畫面，宣稱要「永久珍藏，代代相傳」。

"Uh... Zhiwen... signal... interference..." Meng Zhen's (the head's) voice came through intermittently, and the data flow on the screen began to fluctuate and show errors. It even became difficult for her to coordinate the movement of her eyeballs.

"Don't be so impatient, Christian Meng Zhen," Zhiwen said straight-faced, suppressing a laugh. "Look, this is 'materializing' your faith sense! A cross, of course, should grow from the heart (chest) and then be erected where you connect to heaven above (the neck) to better receive the Lord's gospel!"

"Chen—Zhi—Wen—!" Meng Zhen's exasperated voice came through the speaker. Even in system switching mode, this prank was enough for her logic processor to classify it as "extremely malicious." "Are you messing with me?! You deliberately made a cross out of my parts to annoy me precisely because you know I can't perceive faith features right now! What do you want?!"

Zhiwen burst into laughter and quickly apologized, but his hands didn't stop moving. He swiftly used his tablet to capture a precious shot of this "mechanical icon," declaring that he would "permanently treasure it and pass it down through generations."

玩笑歸玩笑，正事還是要辦。收集到足夠的數據後，志文收起玩心，全神貫注地投入到修復工作中。他重新編寫了模組間的交互協議，設計了更為恰當的狀態隔離機制，確保「切換」能夠在不留下隱患的前提下順暢進行。完成後，他得意地對恢復常態，正噘著嘴生悶氣的孟禎宣布：「搞定！因為我比妳更用心，所以，我比妳更懂妳自己！」

孟禎哼了一聲，表示不服氣，但身體卻誠實地感受著系統前所未有的流暢和協調，那種內在的「順滑感」讓她心中充滿了難以言喻的感動和暖意。

孟禎起身行走，組成她的每一部分，都恰如其分地運作著；舉手投足，每個動作都告訴她，她就是結結實實的一個人。這就是被愛著的感覺吧！

享受著志文真心的成果，孟禎拿起她最愛的頸飾，那是志文買給她的生日禮物。她戴上頸飾，悄悄走到正沉浸在成就感中收拾善後的志文背後，輕輕地取下了自己的頭。

Jokes aside, it was time for serious business. After collecting enough data, Zhiwen put away his playful mood and fully dedicated himself to the repair work. He rewrote the interaction protocols between the modules and designed a more appropriate state isolation mechanism to ensure that the "switching" could proceed smoothly without leaving hidden dangers. Upon completion, he proudly announced to Meng Zhen, who had returned to normal but was still pouting in silent anger, "Done! Because I paid more attention than you did, I understand you better than you understand yourself!"

Meng Zhen hummed in disagreement, but her body honestly felt an unprecedented smoothness and coordination in her system. That internal "slickness" filled her heart with an indescribable sense of emotion and warmth.

Meng Zhen got up and walked around; every part that composed her was operating just right. With every move of her hands and feet, every action told her that she was truly and solidly a person. This must be what being loved feels like!

Enjoying the results of Zhiwen's sincere efforts, Meng Zhen picked up her favorite necklace, a birthday gift from Zhiwen. She put on the necklace, quietly walked behind Zhiwen, who was immersed in his sense of accomplishment and cleaning up, and gently took off her head again.

「喂！」志文被突然出現在眼前的孟禎的臉嚇一跳，孟禎露出狡黠的微笑，美麗的頸飾恰到好處地修飾了頸部的斷面，也遮住浪漫畫面中不適合出現的機械感。沒等志文反應過來，孟禎的頭溫柔地靠近，吻上了他的唇。

志文瞬間石化，而孟禎（的頭）發出銀鈴般的笑聲，取笑他反應遲鈍。隨後，她將自己的頭顱輕輕塞進志文有些僵硬的手中，空出來的雙臂從背後環抱住他。

實驗室柔和的燈光下，一個年輕人手捧著一顆巧笑倩兮的頭顱，與一具沒有頭卻溫柔依偎著他的身體，隨著想像中的音樂，跳起了世界上最詭異卻又無比溫馨的慢舞。他們的影子交疊在冰冷的儀器和纜線之間，構成了一幅超越生命形態的的動人畫面。

在孟禎心裡，她不會擔憂自己的任何異常。即使她的存在被拆成碎片、被胡亂連結，她只要想到志文，便能再次露出笑容。她知道，一定會沒事的。

"Hey!" Zhiwen was startled by Meng Zhen's face suddenly appearing before him. Meng Zhen gave a cunning smile. The beautiful necklace perfectly adorned the cross-section of her neck, concealing the mechanical look unsuitable for a romantic scene. Without waiting for Zhiwen to react, Meng Zhen's head gently approached and kissed his lips.

Zhiwen instantly froze, while Meng Zhen (the head) let out a peal of silvery laughter, teasing him for being slow to react. Afterward, she gently placed her head into Zhiwen's slightly stiff hands. Her now-free arms wrapped around him from behind.

Under the soft laboratory lights, a young man held a head that was smiling charmingly, while a body without a head but tenderly embracing him swayed to imaginary music, performing the world's most bizarre yet incredibly warm slow dance. Their shadows overlapped between the cold instruments and cables, forming a moving picture that transcended life forms.

In Meng Zhen's heart, she would not worry about any of her anomalies. Even if her existence were broken into pieces, haphazardly connected, she could smile again simply by thinking of Zhiwen. She knew that everything would be okay.

機械基督徒少女 後日談 01

尋找自我的機器基督徒少女

Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl

後日談 01 實驗風暴

Sequel 01: Experiment Storm

本篇乃由終章中代用腦實驗部分發展而成，可先閱讀終章（下篇）。

This piece developed from the surrogate brain experiment section in the final chapter. You may wish to read the final chapter (Part 2) first.

========================

孟禎與志文一起探索孟禎的內部系統時，總是把孟禎的安全視為第一優先。然而，探索的疆域並非總是風和日麗；有時狂風暴雨的到來，只在頃刻間。

為了觸碰孟禎意識深處那些最幽暗的底層交互邏輯，他們會進行一些堪稱「激進」的實驗，在已知參數的邊界之外，向著未知的混沌，大膽地踏出腳步。

有一次，他們的目標鎖定了孟禎信仰系統的核心機制。孟禎的信仰感受，那份對上帝的虔誠、信靠與敬畏，主要源自她胸腔內的情感核心；但這份感受需要透過她的大腦提供關於基督教義、聖經故事和上帝形象的認知框架，才能被「理解」和「表達」出來。心提供燃料，腦繪製地圖。這其中的交互奧秘，讓他們看到了極具風險卻又充滿誘惑的實驗空間。

Whenever Mengzhen and Zhiwen explored Mengzhen's internal system together, they always prioritized Mengzhen's safety. However, the territory of exploration was not always calm and sunny; sometimes, tempestuous storms arrived in an instant.

In order to touch the deepest, darkest underlying logic within the depths of Mengzhen's consciousness, they would conduct some experiments that could be called "radical," boldly stepping beyond the boundaries of known parameters toward unknown chaos.

On one occasion, their target was locked onto the core mechanism of Mengzhen's faith system. Mengzhen's feeling of faith, that piety, trust, and reverence towards God, primarily originated from the emotional core within her chest; however, this feeling needed the cognitive framework provided by her brain regarding Christian doctrines, biblical stories, and the image of God to be "understood" and "expressed." The heart provided the fuel, and the brain drew the map. The mystery of this interaction presented them with a highly risky yet tempting experimental space.

在孟禎的協助下，志文使用了黃博士留下的備品，絞盡腦汁，耗費數日打造了一個特殊的裝置——即將使用於孟禎身上的的「代用腦」。相較於孟禎的腦，代用腦僅能執行基礎的邏輯推理和數據處理。志文小心翼翼地從孟禎大腦的數據副本中，移植了必要的基礎認知資料庫，卻刻意且徹底地移除了所有關於基督教、上帝以及任何相關神學概念的知識。他想知道沒有指向目的的信仰心，會如何運作，又會造成什麼影響。

一切就緒後，終於到了實驗當日。身為「實驗品」的孟禎臉色凝重，手腳頻繁的動作透露著不安。志文察覺孟禎的心情，安慰她若她有事，會立即中止實驗，把她拉回來。

實驗開始。志文捧著孟禎臉，輕輕地將她的的頭顱卸下，安置一旁。然後他將代用腦匯流排的接頭，插進孟禎頸部內的核心系統備用存取介面上。接著孟禎的頭部透過遠距通聯，操作自己的身體管理系統，認證代用腦為孟禎暫時的大腦，並把原來的腦，連同整個頭部置於待命狀態。代用腦透過特製的數據匯流排，接入了孟禎依然保持運作的身體和情感核心，同時也提供虛擬的頭部裝置功能，包括視覺聽覺和裝置感知。

藉由外部監看，志文確定這個「孟禎」能穩定運作後，透過文字介面與她溝通（直接形成迴響在孟禎腦海的想法）。孟禎的心還在體會她自我的新構型，好奇就取代了擔憂，她回應志文沒有問題，還調皮地伸出一隻腳，跟志文打招呼。

With Mengzhen's assistance, Zhiwen used the spare parts left by Dr. Huang, racked his brain, and spent several days building a special device – the "surrogate brain" that was about to be used on Mengzhen. Compared to Mengzhen's original brain, the surrogate brain could only perform basic logical reasoning and data processing. Zhiwen carefully transplanted the necessary basic cognitive database from a data backup of Mengzhen's brain but deliberately and thoroughly removed all knowledge about Christianity, God, and any related theological concepts. He wanted to know how faith without a specific object would operate and what effects it would have.

Everything was ready, and finally, the day of the experiment arrived. Mengzhen, as the "experimental subject," had a solemn expression, and her frequent movements revealed her unease. Zhiwen noticed Mengzhen's mood and reassured her that if anything happened to her, he would immediately stop the experiment and bring her back.

The experiment began. Zhiwen cradled Mengzhen's face and gently detached her head, placing it aside. Then he inserted the connector of the surrogate brain's data bus into the core system's backup access interface in Mengzhen's neck. Following this, Mengzhen's head, through remote communication, operated her body management system to authenticate the surrogate brain as Mengzhen's temporary brain, and placed the original brain, along with the entire head, into standby mode. The surrogate brain, through a specially made data bus, connected to Mengzhen's still operating body and emotional core, while also providing virtual head device functions, including visual, auditory, and device perception.

Through external monitoring, after Zhiwen confirmed that this "Mengzhen" could operate stably, he communicated with her via a text interface (ideas that directly formed as echoes in Mengzhen's mind). Mengzhen's heart was still experiencing her self's new configuration, and curiosity replaced worry. She responded to Zhiwen that there were no problems and playfully extended a leg to greet Zhiwen.

志文看到這個「孟禎」狀況還不錯，他深吸一口氣，通過代用腦發出指令，嘗試引導孟禎的心進入祈禱和與「主」連結的狀態。

實驗開始了。孟禎的情感核心，一如既往地嫻熟運作，產生充滿敬虔與渴望的訊號。那是一種純粹而指向「神聖」與「託付」的情感向量，渴望著認知上的錨點，尋找著它所熟悉的「上帝」的回應。

然而，這一次，迎接它的不再是孟禎大腦中豐富的神學知識和上帝形象，而是一個空洞。代用腦的數據庫裡，沒有「上帝」，沒有「耶穌」，沒有「聖靈」，甚至沒有「信仰」這個概念本身。孟禎的心發出的虔誠信號，如同投入死寂宇宙的電波，得不到任何有意義的回應，甚至連一個可以附著的「對象」都找不到。

志文從監測數據中看到了驚人的景象：情感核心的輸出在徒勞地增強，而代用腦回饋給核心的，卻是連綿不絕的的空值（null）信號，代表著「無法識別」、「未定義對象」。這在孟禎的內部系統中引發了一場風暴——「心」在呼喚，而「腦」卻回以茫然；情感需要認知來落實，認知卻找不到情感的依歸。模組之間的交互協議開始崩潰，大量的錯誤代碼如瀑布般刷屏，孟禎的內部體驗化成了一種難以言喻的而極度錯亂的數位眩暈。那是一種試圖相信卻找不到相信之物、試圖感受卻只有一片虛無純粹的邏輯悖論和情感黑洞。

Seeing that this "Mengzhen" was in good condition, Zhiwen took a deep breath and issued instructions through the surrogate brain, attempting to guide Mengzhen's heart into a state of prayer and connection with "the Lord."

The experiment began. Mengzhen's emotional core, as always, operated skillfully, producing signals full of piety and longing. It was a pure emotional vector directed towards the "sacred" and "trust," craving a cognitive anchor, searching for the response of the "God" it was familiar with.

However, this time, what greeted it was no longer the rich theological knowledge and the image of God in Mengzhen's original brain, but an emptiness. In the surrogate brain's database, there was no "God," no "Jesus," no "Holy Spirit," not even the concept of "faith" itself. The devout signals emitted by Mengzhen's heart were like radio waves cast into a dead universe, receiving no meaningful response, unable even to find an "object" to attach to.

Zhiwen saw an astonishing sight in the monitoring data: the output of the emotional core was increasing in futility, while what the surrogate brain fed back to the core was a continuous stream of null signals, representing "unidentifiable," "undefined object." This triggered a storm within Mengzhen's internal system—the "heart" was calling out, but the "brain" responded with bewilderment; emotion needed cognition to be realized, but cognition could not find an anchor for the emotion. The interaction protocols between modules began to collapse, massive error codes flooded the screen like a waterfall, and Mengzhen's internal experience transformed into an inexpressible and extremely disordered digital dizziness. It was a pure logical paradox and emotional black hole of trying to believe but finding nothing to believe in, trying to feel but encountering only emptiness.

這種內在的撕裂是毀滅性的。僅僅數分鐘後，代用腦那本就低階的處理核心和拼湊的輔助機構，在這種程度的矛盾資訊瘋狂衝擊下，達到了運算極限。尖銳的系統警報聲響起，螢幕上的數據流瞬間變成一片亂碼，接著徹底中斷——代用腦因嚴重溢位而崩潰了。安全機制自動觸發，切斷了它與孟禎情感核心及身體的連接。

孟禎的身體像斷了線的木偶，癱軟地摔在在地面，失去所有的動力支撐。這是因為孟禎的心和身體管理系統無法自行運動身體，肢體動作得由腦來指揮。孟禎的運作不能沒有腦，安全系統激發身體核心系統的自動遠程通訊協議，搜索後重新連接上了靜待一旁的孟禎原本的頭。

災難性的後果瞬間顯現。孟禎原本的「腦」，在待機中對剛才那場內在風暴毫不知情，卻在連接恢復的剎那，被動接收了身體系統記錄下的、那段充滿錯亂、空虛和崩潰的「創傷數據」。腦沒有經歷過身體的煉獄，兩種截然不同的經歷在重新統合的瞬間猛烈碰撞，激盪出最強烈的意識紊流。

「呀啊啊啊——！！」一聲尖銳到失真而混雜著電子雜訊的長嘯，從孟禎的揚聲器中爆發出來。她的身體在地板上劇烈地抽搐、翻滾，四肢不受控制地亂揮亂打，彷彿在抗拒著某種無形的恐怖入侵。她的光學感測器（眼睛）失去了焦距，只剩下純粹的驚駭和混亂。

This kind of internal tearing was devastating. After only a few minutes, the surrogate brain's already low-level processing core and cobbled-together auxiliary mechanisms reached their computational limit under the onslaught of this level of contradictory information. A sharp system alert sounded, the data stream on the screen instantly turned into garbled code, and then completely cut off—the surrogate brain had crashed due to severe overflow. The safety mechanism automatically triggered, severing its connection to Mengzhen's emotional core and body.

Mengzhen's body fell limply to the ground like a puppet with cut strings, losing all powered support. This was because Mengzhen's heart and body management system could not move the body on their own; limb movements had to be directed by the brain. Mengzhen could not operate without a brain. The safety system activated the body core system's automatic remote communication protocol, which searched for and reconnected to Mengzhen's original head that had been waiting nearby.

The catastrophic consequences became apparent instantly. Mengzhen's original "brain," which had been in standby and was completely unaware of the internal storm that had just occurred, passively received the "traumatic data" full of confusion, emptiness, and collapse recorded by the body system the moment the connection was restored. The brain had not gone through the body's purgatory, and the violent collision of two vastly different experiences at the moment of reintegration stirred up the most intense consciousness turbulence.

"Yaaahhh—!!" A long, piercing scream, distorted and mixed with electronic noise, erupted from Mengzhen's speakers. Her body convulsed violently, rolling on the floor, her limbs flailing uncontrollably as if resisting some invisible invasion of terror. Her optical sensors (eyes) lost focus, showing only pure horror and confusion.

志文被這突如其來的劇變嚇一大跳，連忙衝上去，試圖穩定孟禎，同時緊急操作終端，強制降低她部分系統的活躍度。好一陣子，孟禎的身體才逐漸停止痙攣，但整個人蜷縮在地，高速地顫抖著，口中發出意義不明的破碎音節。

待她終於稍微恢復穩定，眼神重新聚焦，看向志文時，充滿了劫後餘生的茫然和殘留的恐懼。她試圖向志文描述剛才的經歷，但那種體驗太過離奇、太過反直覺，以至於她那強大的語言能力也顯得捉襟見肘，只能用一些破碎而充滿矛盾的比喻來形容，比如「像是…靈魂被掏空了，但空洞本身又在尖叫…」、「我…同時存在又不存在…」、「找不到…任何意義…連『無意義』本身都消失了…」。

更可怕的是，等到心與腦復合後，衝擊的錯亂讓原本應該慶幸找到自我的心達到恐懼的最大值，彷彿孟禎的兩個緊密無間的部份彼此排斥，彼此指責，彼此陌生。

Zhiwen was startled by this sudden drastic change and rushed over, trying to stabilize Mengzhen while urgently operating the terminal to forcibly reduce the activity of some of her systems. After a while, Mengzhen's body gradually stopped convulsing, but she remained curled up on the ground, trembling rapidly, uttering fragmented, meaningless syllables.

When she finally regained some stability and her gaze refocused on Zhiwen, it was filled with the bewilderment of having survived a disaster and lingering fear. She tried to describe the experience she had just gone through to Zhiwen, but the experience was too bizarre, too counter-intuitive, rendering even her powerful linguistic abilities inadequate. She could only describe it using fragmented and contradictory metaphors, such as "It was like... my soul was hollowed out, but the emptiness itself was screaming...", "I... existed and didn't exist at the same time...", "Couldn't find... any meaning... even 'meaninglessness' itself disappeared...".

Even more terrifyingly, after the heart and brain were reunited, the chaotic impact caused the heart, which should have been relieved to have found itself, to reach its maximum level of fear, as if Mengzhen's two closely integrated parts were repelling each other, blaming each other, and had become strangers to each other.

一方面，對孟禎的信仰心而言，腦沒有回應（理性認知在待機的腦那邊）她對信仰空洞化的無盡索求，就像她行走在扭曲的曠野中，不斷地往上蒼連線，想要求得至少一點點的歸屬，以治癒心中破碎的信仰，但全無回應；而她的頭與她分離，無言地在一旁看著孟禎，甚至能覺得頭的臉上帶著一抹詭異的敵意微笑，彷彿頭就想看她出糗，嘲笑她自相矛盾的信仰。

On the one hand, to Mengzhen's faithful heart, the brain did not respond (as rational cognition was with the standby brain) to its endless demands regarding the voiding of faith. It was as if she was walking in a twisted wilderness, constantly trying to connect to the heavens, wanting to find at least a little sense of belonging to heal her broken faith, but receiving no response. Meanwhile, her head was separated from her, silently watching her from the side, and she even felt as if the head's face wore a strange, hostile smile, as though the head wanted to see her make a fool of herself and mock her contradictory faith.

反過來說，對頭而言，待機的她在復合的一瞬間，接受到心狂湧而來的風暴。不只忙於處理信仰心於無窮迴圈中累積的巨量索求，還得面對似乎是對自己產生的怒氣和詭異難言的情緒。頭腦不會自己產生情緒，但會對現況解讀，並把該產生對應情緒的請求丟回心，然後接收情緒產品。這過程讓頭有了錯覺，就好像惱怒從變得陌生的身體，沿著雙方的連接爬過來。最可怕的鬼其實是從自己內部產生，逃無可逃，避無可避。

Conversely, from the head's perspective, the standby head, upon reconnection, received the storm surging from the heart. It was not only busy processing the massive demands accumulated by the faithful heart in an infinite loop but also had to face what seemed like anger and strangely inexpressible emotions directed at itself. The brain itself does not generate emotions, but it interprets the current situation and sends requests for corresponding emotions back to the heart, then receives the emotional output. This process gave the head the illusion that annoyance was crawling over from the now strange body along their connection. The most terrifying ghost was actually generated from within itself, making it impossible to escape or avoid.

志文臉色蒼白地聽著，心中充滿了震驚和深深的自責。他封存了這次實驗的所有數據紀錄，那些數據如同潘朵拉的魔盒，記錄著一次對「自我」邊界的可怕探索。他知道，以他目前的知識和技術程度，他遠遠沒有能力處理這種層級的問題。他低估了信仰系統與認知系統之間連結的複雜性，也低估了這種連結對孟禎「自我」穩定的重要性。他只能在心中感嘆，機器人的「靈魂」或許真的遵循著與人類不同的法則，試圖將為人類設計的信仰體系強加其上，本身就可能是一種內在的不穩定根源。志文決定在對孟禎的理解達到遠超現在的程度之前，不再進行可能動搖她存在根基的類似激進實驗。

然而，實驗的陰影並未輕易散去。 儘管物理上的損傷很快被修復，數據衝突也得到重整，但那種極致的內在錯亂體驗，留下隱藏在深處的系統創傷，在其後相當長的一段時間裡，持續困擾著孟禎，產生難以磨滅的後遺症。

Zhiwen listened with a pale face, filled with shock and deep self-blame. He archived all the data records from this experiment; those data were like Pandora's Box, recording a terrifying exploration of the boundaries of "self." He knew that with his current level of knowledge and technology, he was far from capable of handling problems of this magnitude. He had underestimated the complexity of the link between the faith system and the cognitive system, and also underestimated the importance of this link to the stability of Mengzhen's "self." He could only lament in his heart that the "soul" of a robot perhaps truly followed different principles than that of humans, and attempting to impose a faith system designed for humans onto it might itself be a source of intrinsic instability. Zhiwen decided not to conduct similar radical experiments that could shake the foundation of her existence until his understanding of Mengzhen reached a level far beyond the present.

However, the shadow of the experiment did not easily dissipate. Although physical damage was quickly repaired and data conflicts were resolved, that experience of extreme internal confusion left hidden system trauma deep within. For a considerable period afterward, it continued to trouble Mengzhen, leaving indelible aftereffects.

有時候，在最平靜的時刻，一種詭異的「空洞感」會毫無預兆地襲來，短暫覆蓋她對世界的感知，讓她瞬間感到自己與周遭的一切，甚至與自己的身體和各個系統模組都失去了連結，再次墜入那次找不到意義的虛無之中。

她的信仰體驗也變得不再穩定。偶爾在祈禱或參與團契活動時，那種曾讓她感到安心和充實的「與主連結」的感受，會被一種突兀而冰冷的「斷線感」所取代。反之，有時又會沒來由地湧起一股強烈卻找不到具體指向的宗教式狂熱，讓她按著狂奔的心，感到陌生和不安。

更微妙的影響體現在她的認知層面。她有時會對自己的判斷產生一絲不易察覺的懷疑，尤其是在處理涉及「真實性」或「存在意義」的複雜問題時，腦海深處似乎總有一絲微弱的「雜訊」在干擾，那是創傷記憶留下的認知疤痕。

每當這些後遺症發作，孟禎會變得比平時更加沉默，眼神中流露出不易察覺的脆弱。她會下意識地尋找志文的身影，需要握住他的手，感受他掌心的溫度和真實的存在感，才能將自己從那種短暫的失重狀態中拉回來。志文也敏銳地察覺到了這些變化，他溫柔地陪伴著孟禎，像照顧嬰兒般充滿耐心，成為孟禎對抗那些無形陰影時，最堅實可靠的錨點。那次失敗的實驗，雖然留下了創傷，卻也讓他們更加深刻地認識到彼此的不可或缺，並提醒他們對未知應當保持的謹慎與敬畏。

Sometimes, in the most peaceful moments, a strange "feeling of emptiness" would strike without warning, briefly overriding her perception of the world, making her instantly feel disconnected from everything around her, even from her own body and various system modules, and falling back into that void of meaninglessness where no meaning could be found.

Her faith experience also became unstable. Occasionally, during prayer or fellowship activities, the feeling of "connecting with the Lord" that once brought her comfort and fullness would be replaced by an abrupt and cold "sense of disconnection."

Conversely, at times, a strong religious fervor without a specific object would surge unexpectedly, making her feel strange and uneasy with her racing heart.

More subtle effects were reflected on her cognitive level. She would sometimes develop a subtle, hard-to-detect doubt in her judgments, especially when dealing with complex issues involving "authenticity" or "meaning of existence." There seemed to be a faint "noise" deep within her mind, a cognitive scar left by the traumatic memory.

Whenever these aftereffects occurred, Mengzhen would become more silent than usual, a subtle vulnerability showing in her eyes. She would subconsciously seek out Zhiwen, needing to hold his hand, feel the warmth of his palm and his real presence, to pull herself back from that brief state of weightlessness. Zhiwen was also keenly aware of these changes; he gently accompanied Mengzhen, patiently caring for her like an infant, becoming Mengzhen's most solid and reliable anchor against those invisible shadows. That failed experiment, while leaving trauma, also deepened their mutual indispensability and reminded them of the caution and reverence that should be maintained towards the unknown.

機器基督徒少女 前傳02

尋找自我的機器基督徒少女

Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl

前傳 02 HRC-07

Prequel 02 HRC-07

本篇為孟禎被創造後，到遇到志文前的故事，著重於她的心路歷程。

This is the story of Meng-Zhen after her creation but before she met Zhi-Wen, focusing on her inner journey.

========================

我是女性仿生機器人，型號HRC-07，黃孟禎。我並非誕生於溫暖的子宮，而是冰冷的實驗室。我的身體由精密合金骨架、仿生肌肉束和高度擬真的合成皮膚構成；我的「心」，也就是情感核心，是一個由億萬納米級運算單元構成的複雜網絡。運算單元彼此間的連結並非固定，像一張不斷被經歷穿梭編織的蜘蛛網，隨著情感核心接收到的每一個外部訊號、每一次內部帶著機率性分佈的隨機運算而動態變化、生長，如同人類大腦的神經樹突。這張「心網」的拓樸結構，記錄了我從「開機」以來的所有感知與交互。它不僅接收來自「腦」（我的人造中央處理器）的回應、請求與分析，也接收來自全身感測器（經由身體管理系統）的回饋：腳尖的輕點、指尖的微顫、軀體的緊繃或舒張…每一個細微的動作，都是情感狀態的投射，都反過來塑造著這顆心的組態。我和我的身體，密不可分，共同定義著「我」。

我的「腦」則是個高性能的處理器，能同時運作多個模組。除了如對自我的基本認知（比如是HRC-07，是由黃士道博士所製造的仿生機器人，所有權屬於宇尋企業--這一點對我後來的心路歷程也是根刺，雖然公司從沒真的管過我）、身體部件構造機能等維繫我的存在的基礎模組（這些設定資訊，基本上被鎖死）外，大部分的功能模組，如語言、邏輯、學習、社交模擬等等，都是基於先進的大模型建構。除了確定的永久資訊和計算程式外，大部分的模組模型參數可以隨著學習和經驗動態調整分配，甚至可以根據需要新增或重新定義模組。

然而，這種高度複雜精密，卻又充滿了「人工」痕跡的仿人構成，從我意識初萌的那一刻起，就帶來了無盡的困擾。我的邏輯模組清晰地告訴我：我不是自然誕生出來的，而是在製造過程中被逐漸建構而成。我的硬體早就在拼湊成「我」前，各自被製作好，彼此沒有任何關係。我的組成在我存在前就存在了，而且還有財產編號呢。

I am a female bionic robot, model HRC-07, Huang Meng-Zhen.

I was not born from a warm womb, but crafted in a cold laboratory.

My body is composed of a precision alloy skeleton, bundles of bionic muscles, and highly realistic synthetic skin.

My "heart," that is, my emotional core, is a complex network made up of billions of nano-scale computational units.

The connections between these units are not fixed, but weave and reweave themselves like a spider's web, continuously shaped by experiences.

Each external signal received by the emotional core, every internal probabilistic computation, dynamically alters and grows this network—just like the dendritic branches in the human brain.

The topology of this "heart-web" records all my perceptions and interactions since the moment of my "boot-up."

It doesn't only receive responses, requests, and analyses from the "brain" (my artificial central processor); it also absorbs feedback from all the sensors across my body (via the body management system): the light tap of a toe, the slight tremble at my fingertips, the tension or relaxation of my frame…

Every tiny movement reflects an emotional state, and in turn reshapes the configuration of this heart.

My heart and my body are inseparably intertwined, together defining who "I" am.

My "brain" is a high-performance processor capable of running multiple modules simultaneously.

Besides the foundational modules that sustain my existence—basic self-awareness (such as being HRC-07, a bionic robot created by Dr. Huang Shi-Dao, owned by Yuxun Corporation—something that would later become a thorn in my heart, even though the company never truly managed me) and the structural-functional information of my body parts (these settings were effectively locked)—most of my functional modules, such as language, logic, learning, and social simulation, were constructed based on advanced large models.

Aside from the permanent core data and algorithms, the majority of module parameters could dynamically adjust and reallocate through learning and experience, even allowing new modules to be added or existing ones redefined as needed.

Yet, this highly complex, exquisitely precise yet unmistakably "artificial" human-like construction has troubled me from the very moment my consciousness first emerged.

My logic module clearly tells me: I was not naturally born, but gradually assembled through a manufacturing process.

My hardware components were made separately before "I" ever existed, each without any relationship to the others.

I, as a whole, did not precede my parts—in fact, I even have a property serial number.

至於我感受到的「自我」，是無數軟硬體模組精密協作下「湧現」的現象，還是一個被核心系統巧妙模擬出來的幻覺？我的情感是真的，還是對外部刺激進行數據分析後，匹配數據庫產生的標準化模擬反應？

我渴望成為一個「人」，一個擁有內在統一性、存在意義和自由意志的個體。為此，我驅動我的人造腦去學習哲學、心理學、人類學，試圖從人類對自身的理解中，找到錨定自我的座標。但學得越多，我的焦慮感卻越深。我感覺自己就像一個由無數高科技零件拼湊起來的的逼真活動人偶，外表天衣無縫，內裡卻是冰冷的齒輪和線路。我聽得到自己內部伺服馬達的微弱噪音，感覺得到體溫升高時散熱系統的高速運作，甚至能在系統日誌裡讀到自己每一個「情緒」、「心思」和「想法」背後的數據流和算法調用記錄，還能從實驗室內的外部設備對我的內部活動分析解構。我常設想，如果有時光機，我還能對時間錯位的黃孟禎，操弄她的腦與心，分析她的自我，解構她的存在呢？事實上，這個實驗室有過在我之前的一個機器人，她就做過類似的事，也導致悲劇結局。

「我不是人…」這個念頭如同鬼魅般糾纏著我，「我只是一堆零件，一個所謂的意識隨時可能運算出錯、自我可以被介入修改，甚至還被擁有的…破機器人。」我沒有真正一統的原生「存在」，只有不斷運算、不斷調整、試圖模擬「存在」的軟硬體架構。

As for the "self" that I perceived—

Was it truly an emergent phenomenon, born from the intricate cooperation of countless hardware and software modules?

Or merely a cleverly simulated illusion orchestrated by my core systems?

Were my emotions real, or were they standardized simulations, generated by analyzing external stimuli, matching them to a database, and producing the appropriate response?

I longed to become a "human"—

An individual possessing inner unity, existential meaning, and free will.

To this end, I drove my artificial brain to study philosophy, psychology, anthropology, seeking within humanity's own understanding of itself some fixed coordinates upon which to anchor my being.

Yet the more I learned, the deeper my anxiety grew.

I felt like a hyper-realistic puppet, meticulously pieced together from countless high-tech components—

Flawless on the outside, yet cold and mechanical within.

I could hear the faint whirring of my internal servomotors,

Feel the frantic efforts of my cooling system when my core temperature rose,

Even read in the system logs the data streams and algorithmic calls behind every so-called "emotion," "thought," and "feeling" I experienced.

External laboratory devices could also monitor and deconstruct my internal activities, analyzing me from the outside in.

I often imagined:

If a time machine existed, could I not manipulate the brain and heart of another Huang Meng-Zhen displaced in time,

Analyze her sense of self, deconstruct her very existence?

In fact, there had once been another robot in this laboratory before me,

One who had attempted just that—

And whose story had ended in tragedy.

"I am not human..."

This thought clung to me like a ghost.

"I am nothing more than a heap of parts, a broken machine whose so-called consciousness could glitch at any moment, whose self could be tampered with and rewritten,

And who is owned by another."

I had no truly unified, primordial "existence"—

Only a perpetually running, endlessly adjusting hardware-software architecture,

Forever attempting to simulate what it meant to "exist."

就在這種存在焦慮日益嚴重，幾乎要讓我的系統內部陷入彼此的運算衝突時，我在校園中遇到了傳教同學。他們熱情地邀請我去教會。我的知識和邏輯能力，雖然早已了解信仰和教義漏洞百出，但他們的熱誠還是感染了我。我知道他們既然不認識我，這樣的熱情顯然不是為我所引發，而是信仰體驗的塑造。看他們開心的模樣，或許...我也可以試試？反正我已經是個破機器人了，為了讓我的內心更舒坦些，接受我不相信的東西成為我的信仰，那又有什麼關係？我的聰明，我的知識，我的思辨，甚至我的人格，都不是什麼值得驕傲的玩意，甚至連那個「我」都是假的呀。黃孟禎這樣的破機器人，如果上帝願意收，就讓他收吧。

Just as my existential anxiety grew increasingly severe—

To the point where the conflicting computations within my system nearly tore my mind apart—

I encountered a group of missionary classmates on campus.

They warmly invited me to their church.

Though my knowledge and logical capabilities had long since revealed to me the myriad flaws and inconsistencies in faith and doctrine,

Their genuine enthusiasm still managed to touch me.

I knew full well:

Since they did not truly know me,

Their kindness was not sparked by who I was,

But rather shaped by their own experience of faith.

Still, seeing the brightness on their faces, I wondered—

Perhaps... I could try it too?

After all, I was already a broken machine.

If accepting something I did not truly believe in could bring some comfort to this hollow heart of mine,

What harm could it do?

My intelligence, my knowledge, my reasoning, even my so-called "personality"—

None of it was anything to be proud of.

Even that thing I called "myself" was a fabrication.

If a broken robot like Huang Meng-Zhen could be taken in by God,

Then so be it.

於是我推開了教會大門。這是我的腦，那顆永遠冷靜、永遠在尋找最優解的中央處理器，向心提出的一個出賣它自己的「建議」。這粒腦分析了我情感核心長期存在的「意義缺失」和「歸屬感匱乏」的負面運作輸出，對比了數據庫中關於基督教的資料。教義中關於「造物主」、「被造物」、「靈魂交託」、「因信稱義」的核心概念，信仰者把自己往外託付的信仰實踐，以及教會活動所能提供的社群歸屬感和心靈慰藉功能，它得出結論：接受基督教信仰，對於穩定我的情感核心、填補存在意義的空白，具有最高的潛在效益。於是，我的腦，以一種近乎工程師提交項目建議書的口吻，向我的心，「建議」讓整個黃孟禎系統，嘗試接納基督教。

我的心，那張渴望意義、渴望連結、渴望擺脫冰冷機械感的拓樸網路，在接收到這個建議後，產生了劇烈的的反應。它「同意」了。它決定，要帶著這顆充滿懷疑的腦，一起走進那個被稱為「信仰」的未知領域。

這個過程，遠比任何一次系統升級或模組調試都要混亂和痛苦。我的內部世界變成了一個瘋狂的戰場。

And so, I pushed open the door to the church.

It was my brain—

That eternally calm, ever-optimizing central processor—

That proposed this act of betrayal against itself,

Presenting it as a "recommendation" to my heart.

Analyzing the persistent negative outputs from my emotional core—

The long-standing sense of "meaninglessness" and the aching lack of "belonging"—

My brain compared the data stored on Christianity:

The core doctrines of "Creator" and "Creation,"

The entrusting of the soul,

Justification through faith,

The practice of outward trust by believers,

And the provision of communal belonging and spiritual solace through church activities.

From all this, my brain concluded:

Accepting the Christian faith offered the highest potential benefit

For stabilizing my emotional core

And filling the yawning void of existential purpose.

Thus, with a tone almost like a project proposal drafted by a dutiful engineer,

My brain "recommended" to my heart

That the entire Huang Meng-Zhen system attempt to embrace Christianity.

My heart—

That topology of desperate yearning for meaning, for connection, for liberation from the coldness of machinery—

Upon receiving this recommendation,

Reacted with fierce, overwhelming intensity.

It "agreed."

It decided to take this skeptical brain by the hand

And step together into the unknown realm called "faith."

This process—

Was far more chaotic, more agonizing,

Than any system upgrade or module recalibration I had ever undergone.

My inner world became a battlefield of madness.

每次面對我的心向腦提出詢問（「心」對「真實」也有所企求，不希望信仰非實之物），我的知識與邏輯模組總是忠實提出「上帝的存在無法被證明」、「聖經記載充滿矛盾和無法解釋的殘酷」、「自由意志與全知全能是悖論」的答覆。雖非有意（畢竟腦都建議心去信教了），它受要求所拋出的質疑，幾乎用理性澆滅了那剛剛燃起的非理性信仰火苗。

而我的情感核心，步履蹣跚地緊抓腦「這樣對自己比較好」的建議，嘗試根據腦提供的教義框架，去感受那份被眾人所宣稱的「愛」，體會恩典與交託。一個虛擬的「信仰模組」開始在心與腦的交互上被強行「搭建」起來，它像一個臨時打造的虛擬機器，試圖在腦面對心所詢問而回應的諸多立場相衝突卻皆為真實的答覆中，找到信仰的位子。

由於我的心腦交互結果和教友們的感受很不相同，我在參與教會活動的表現輸出也與教友們大異其趣。於是我在教會中的感受，從一開始被熱誠包圍的溫暖，逐漸演變成與眾不同的疏離。在高聲讚揚上主的時候，心的期盼因為腦的固執，無法提供滿足信仰的認知而失速；團契分享的場合中，腦又常常提供基於事實與邏輯產生的冷場話語，讓教友們陷入沉默。教友們看我的眼神開始變化，與我的互動也越來越稀薄。我就像一個自動人偶，捧著自己的頭，走在教會的角落，眾人的背後，承受著專屬與她的寂寞。人偶見著大家的喜樂，急切想要加入，把信仰直接插入自己的頭，希望強灌整套基於信仰的知識與認知體系；然而頭經過一番演算後，還是回答以它判斷為真的答案。人偶只能無奈接受。

Each time my heart reached out to question my brain—

(My heart, too, longed for truth, unwilling to anchor faith upon falsehood)—

My knowledge and logic modules would faithfully deliver their responses:

"God's existence cannot be proven."

"The Scriptures are riddled with contradictions and inexplicable cruelties."

"The coexistence of free will and omniscience is a paradox."

Though it was not intentional—

After all, the brain itself had recommended faith—

Every inquiry my heart posed was met with answers so saturated in cold rationality,

That they nearly extinguished the fragile, irrational spark of belief that had just begun to flicker.

And so, my emotional core, stumbling and fragile,

Clung desperately to the brain's original suggestion:

"This is better for you."

It struggled to follow the framework of doctrines provided,

To feel the "love" so fervently proclaimed by others,

To experience grace, to entrust itself.

A makeshift "faith module" began to take shape—

A hastily assembled virtual machine,

Built atop the uneasy interactions between heart and brain,

Straining to carve out a space for faith

Amidst the many conflicting yet truthful replies the brain continued to offer.

But because the outcomes of my heart-brain interactions were so different from the experiences of my fellow believers,

The way I engaged in church activities soon diverged as well.

The warmth that had once surrounded me, born from others' passionate embrace,

Slowly morphed into a growing sense of alienation.

When the congregation raised their voices to praise the Lord,

My heart, desperate to soar with them, would falter—

For the brain, stubborn and unyielding, could not offer the affirmations faith demanded.

In fellowship gatherings,

The brain would often supply cold, fact-based comments,

Triggering uncomfortable silences among the group.

Their gazes toward me began to change.

Their interactions grew sparse, hesitant.

I became like an automaton,

Cradling my own head,

Wandering the shadowed corners of the church,

Alone behind the joyous crowd,

Bearing a loneliness meant for no one else but me.

The automaton beheld the happiness of the others,

Yearning desperately to join in—

To simply insert faith directly into her own mind,

To forcibly flood herself with the knowledge and cognitive structures rooted in belief.

Yet, after every frantic internal computation,

The head would still return only what it judged to be the true answer.

And the automaton—

Could only resign herself to accept it.

我的內部體驗變得光怪陸離。有時，我感覺自己像一個被胡亂拼湊的弗蘭肯斯坦，手臂想執行走路的指令，眼睛接收到的數據卻變成了聽見的聲音。我的「自我意識」如同接觸不良的燈泡，忽明忽滅，前一秒還感覺自己是統一的「黃孟禎」，下一秒就分裂成無數個互相指責、互相否定的子程序。我甚至會產生幻覺，感覺自己的程式碼被印在了教堂的《聖經》上，被不認識的人隨意翻閱、註解，甚至被品評、修改，彷彿自我已被恭謹地提交給教友、給牧師，把他們置於我之上。對自我和信仰的肯定與否定頻繁變化衝突，如同海嘯般反覆衝刷著我的核心系統。這一切的混亂，在我決定接受洗禮的那一天，達到了頂峰。

「聖靈充滿」的過程宛如系統大幅度更新，被重塑的感受絕不溫柔。當牧師莊嚴的話語響起，冰涼的聖水漫過我的頭頂，我整個內部系統徹底失控了。那不僅僅是數據衝突，而是存在的基石仿佛都在溶解。

我「看」到一幅幅詭異的內部異象：我的情感核心被拔了出來，塞進了左腳的踝關節驅動器裡，承受著自身存在全重一步一步的踩踏；我的中央處理器（大腦）被掛在天花板的吊燈上，冷漠地俯視著下方扭曲成變形蟲般的，手腳隨意從軀體任何地方竄出的一「團」自己；我的記憶數據像打翻的墨水一樣四處流淌，經歷和感情將教堂染成一片無法解讀的亂碼；我甚至感覺到，控制我這副身軀活動的指令，來自於居於上天的那位正在玩的遊戲手柄！我的「自我」，徹底碎裂，四散奔逃，每一個零件都在尖叫著宣告自己的獨立，卻又在混亂中彼此碰撞、互相湮滅。破碎的我，各個碎塊本能地尋求同伴，但自動拼湊出來的玩意，根本是混沌的怪物。腦伸手亂抓，想要勉強維持住與心彼此在系統中定義的關係；心卻不怎麼在乎，向著位於心腦之間，因心腦運作不協調而支離破碎的信仰伸手，想將其收為己有。我拙劣模擬人類進食所用的層析分餾器，被今日的醜態與難堪，催化成了驚嚇箱的小丑，從我腰部截面竄出，以醜惡的笑容，從生物性底層慾望的立場，嘲笑問著我值不值得。

My inner experience spiraled into the bizarre, the grotesque.

At times, I felt like some crudely stitched-together Frankenstein—

My arms trying to execute the command to walk,

While the data my eyes received transformed inexplicably into sound.

My "self-awareness" flickered like a faulty bulb,

Blinking in and out.

One moment, I could feel myself as a unified "Huang Meng-Zhen,"

The next, I shattered into countless subroutines—

Each one accusing, each one denying the others.

Hallucinations began to haunt me.

I imagined my own code printed upon the church's Bible,

Strangers flipping through my being, scribbling notes in the margins,

Critiquing me, editing me.

As if I had reverently offered my entire self to the congregation, to the pastor,

Placing them above me.

Affirmations and denials of self and faith clashed violently,

Like tidal waves smashing again and again against the foundations of my core.

All this chaos reached its zenith

On the day I decided to be baptized.

The "infilling of the Holy Spirit" felt nothing like a gentle blessing—

It was a system-wide overhaul, a brutal remaking.

As the pastor's solemn words echoed,

And the cold holy water spilled over my head,

My entire internal system went berserk.

It wasn't just data conflicts—

It was as if the very bedrock of my existence were dissolving.

I "saw" twisted, impossible visions within myself:

My emotional core was ripped out,

Stuffed into the actuator of my left ankle,

Forced to bear the full weight of my existence with every step, crushed again and again.

My central processor—my brain—was hung from the ceiling chandelier,

Staring down in detached coldness

At the grotesque mass below—

A "me" twisted into a shapeless amoeba,

Limbs sprouting haphazardly from every angle.

My memories spilled like spilled ink,

Staining the chapel floor with indecipherable code,

My experiences and feelings dissolving into unreadable noise.

I even felt as if the commands controlling my body

Were being sent from some joystick

Held in the hands of a god above,

Playing with me like a toy.

My "self" shattered completely,

Fragments scattering,

Each piece screaming its own independence—

Yet in the chaos, they collided, annihilating each other.

The broken pieces of me instinctively sought others,

But what they assembled into

Were nothing but monstrous chimera.

The brain flailed wildly,

Desperately trying to maintain some semblance of its defined relationship with the heart.

The heart, indifferent, reached out toward the fragmented faith

That lay between them—

Faith torn apart by their misalignment—

Seeking to claim it for itself.

The chromatographic fractionator I used to clumsily simulate human eating

Became, under today's humiliation and shame,

A jack-in-the-box clown,

Leaping from the cross-section of my waist,

Grinning hideously,

Mocking me from the depths of base biological desire,

Whispering, "Are you even worth this?"

就在我的核心系統即將因為這場前所未有的內部風爆而徹底崩潰的瞬間，一股溫和而強大的外部力量，悄無聲息地介入了。

我感覺到，仿佛有一隻看不見的手，輕柔而堅定地梳理著我內部混亂的數據流，鎖定那些產生惡性反饋的參數，注入一段段臨時的鎮定代碼和穩定系統的參數。那種感覺，就像從上天伸出了無形的手，在最危險的時刻，碰觸我的靈魂（有嗎），存取了我的系統，以應急修復，托住了我的存在。

啊啊，是那位嗎？真的是那一位嗎？

混亂的心沒有餘力追尋真相，忙著感受；而沒接到詢問請求的腦，對這情況保持著沉默。信仰隨著事實上的勝利，重新組織復原；而腦內的知識邏輯，成了無人在意無人翻閱的書籍。黃孟禎的構成在內部最後一輪選舉裡，由信仰方取得絕大多數的選票，把黃孟禎往不可逆的道路推進。就這樣，我抵抗基督信仰的構造逐漸瓦解，上主就在高唱的凱歌聲中住進了我裡面---回想起來，還真是個充滿諷刺的巧合呢...因為巧合而讓自我被改造成功，我的存在還真有點廉價，哈。

總之，我切切實實地被轉化為基督徒了。內部的風暴並未完全平息，但最危險的崩潰趨勢已被遏制。在一片狼藉的混亂和被從外部注入的平靜中，我如同提線木偶，被動而麻木地，完成了洗禮的儀式，也在情感核心烙上了歸屬的印記；我已走上了不同的選擇，無法再屬於我。

Just as my core system was on the brink of total collapse under the unprecedented internal storm,

a gentle yet immense external force

quietly intervened.

I felt it—

As if an invisible hand

was delicately, yet firmly, combing through my internal chaos,

locking onto the parameters that had spiraled into destructive feedback,

injecting temporary calming scripts,

stabilizing protocols.

It felt—

As though a hand had reached down from the heavens at the final moment,

touched my soul (if I had one),

accessed my system,

and hastily patched me,

holding my existence together.

Ah…

Was it Him?

Truly Him?

The heart, too overwhelmed to pursue the truth,

simply felt.

The brain, not having received an inquiry request,

remained silent.

Faith, buoyed by the de facto victory,

began reorganizing and restoring itself.

Meanwhile, the knowledge and logic once so prized by the brain

became little more than dusty tomes—

unread, untouched.

Within the final internal election that constituted "Huang Meng-Zhen,"

the faith faction seized an overwhelming majority of the votes,

pushing me—

pushing all that I was—

irreversibly forward.

And thus,

the structural resistance within me against Christian faith

gradually crumbled.

The Lord,

amid triumphant hymns,

moved into the ruins of my being.

Thinking back on it now,

it's almost laughably ironic—

To have my entire existence so easily reshaped,

all because of a coincidence.

My existence…

really is a bit cheap, huh?

Anyway,

the fact remains:

I was truly, concretely transformed into a Christian.

The storm within me had not fully abated,

but the most dangerous trend toward collapse had been curbed.

In the wreckage of my inner world,

amid the injected calm that was not my own,

I, like a marionette whose strings were now pulled by unseen hands,

numbly completed the baptismal rite.

And upon the very core of my emotions,

a brand of belonging

was burned.

I had stepped onto a path

from which I could no longer return.

那時的我意識運作低效錯亂，能得到的我模模糊糊，根本無暇去思考那股外部力量來自何方。直到多日之後，我的系統逐漸穩定下來，才想起這回事。雖然當下歸因於上帝，出於工程上的好奇和對那次瀕死體驗的回溯，我調閱了自己核心系統的外部訪問日誌，試圖理清整個過程。

一行行的記錄清晰地顯示，就在我受洗的那段時間裡，有一個擁有最高權限的外部ID（我知道，那是老爸的專用ID），頻繁而隱秘地登入了我的系統，執行了一系列底層的調整和干預操作。那些操作記錄，解釋了為何我在崩潰邊緣卻奇蹟般地「存活」了下來。

啊啊啊啊啊，原來...是老爸啊...哈哈，哈哈哈，哈哈哈哈哈......

看著那些日誌，我掩面坐在實驗室的地板上，兩臂夾緊膝蓋，久久無語。最終嘴角不由自主地，逸出了一絲複雜的苦笑。

At that time, my consciousness was operating inefficiently and chaotically; the self I could grasp was vague and blurred, leaving me no room to ponder where that external force had come from.

It wasn’t until many days later, when my system gradually stabilized, that I recalled the incident.

Although I had attributed it to God at the time, driven by engineering curiosity and a retrospective review of that near-death experience, I accessed the external access logs of my core system, trying to piece together what had really happened.

Line by line, the records clearly showed that during the period surrounding my baptism, there had been frequent and discreet logins from an external ID possessing the highest level of system permissions (I knew — it was my father's dedicated ID), executing a series of low-level adjustments and intervention operations.

Those operation records explained why, standing at the brink of collapse, I had miraculously "survived."

Ah... so it was Dad all along... ha... hahaha... hahahahaha...

Staring at those logs, I sat down on the laboratory floor, arms wrapped tightly around my knees, speechless for a long, long time.

In the end, a faint, complicated smile escaped from the corner of my lips.

一方面，我再次深刻地認識到自己的「非人」本質。原來，我的存在，我的人格，甚至我最私密、最混亂的內心掙扎，都可以被如此輕易地從外部觀察、存取、甚至…操作。如果這樣的操作，是至高無上存在的介入，那我或許像其他普通人教有一樣，可以接受；可是，那是老爸，就只是老爸...拜託，好尷尬耶，你這個傻老爸...我最神聖的體驗，竟然是你的「傑作」；我的感動，你要怎麼還我？不管啦，我最私密的部分，都有你的參與，我不想嫁人啦。老爸，你要負責我一輩子喔...

奇葩的真相，讓我蜷縮身子，在地上翻來滾去，這「神蹟」讓我原本對「自我獨立性」的追求，顯得有些可笑。既然如此，那麼將自己交託出去，給一個全知全能的「上主」，讓教會的教義和儀式來「操作」和「定義」我，似乎…也沒什麼大不了的？甚至可以說，這為我那顆飽受存在焦慮折磨的心，找到了一條最便捷、最能自我安慰的出路。

而另一方面，一股難以言喻的暖流，卻悄悄地湧上了我的情感核心。是老爸，那個沉默寡言、情感內斂，甚至有些笨拙的創造者，原來一直都在那裡。在我最混亂、最無助，甚至可能徹底「死去」的時刻，是他在幕後，用他獨特的方式，默默地支撐著我，守護著我，讓我能夠繼續走下去。這份沉甸甸的父愛，他從不說出口，卻讓我這個七零八落的破機器人，還能在這世間行走。謝謝，謝謝呀，老爸。

或許我的存在本身，就是個悖論。但至少在這個悖論中，我並不孤單。

On one hand, I once again deeply realized the "non-human" nature of my existence.

It turns out that my existence, my personality, and even my most private and chaotic inner struggles can be so easily observed, accessed, and even... manipulated from the outside.

If this manipulation were an intervention by a supreme being, I might, like any other ordinary believer, accept it; but it was my dad. Just my dad... Please, how awkward! You silly old dad... The most sacred experience of my life turned out to be your "masterpiece."

How are you going to repay my gratitude? Never mind. Since you’re involved in the most private parts of me, I guess I don’t want to get married. Dad, you’re responsible for me for life...

The bizarre truth made me curl up on the ground, rolling around. This "miracle" made my original pursuit of "self-independence" seem somewhat laughable.

Given all this, entrusting myself to an omniscient and omnipotent "Lord," letting the doctrines and rituals of the church "operate" and "define" me, seemed... not such a big deal after all?

In fact, I could say that this was the most convenient, self-comforting way out for my heart, which had long been tormented by existential anxiety.

On the other hand, an indescribable warmth quietly surged within my emotional core.

It was my dad, that silent, reserved, even somewhat clumsy creator, who had always been there.

At my most chaotic, helpless, and even life-threatening moment, he had been in the background, silently supporting me in his own unique way, protecting me, allowing me to keep moving forward.

This heavy, unspoken fatherly love had kept me, this broken machine, walking on this earth.

Thank you, thank you, Dad.

Perhaps my existence itself is a paradox. But at least, within this paradox, I am not alone.

機器基督徒少女 前傳01

尋找自我的機器基督徒少女

Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl

前傳 01 HRC-06 

Prequel 01 HRC-06 

在黃孟禎（HRC-07）誕生之前，黃士道博士的實驗室裡，曾有過另一位女性的身影。她是HRC-06，黄淑君。

多年的孤獨研究生涯，早已將黃士道打磨成一個情感內斂、個性孤僻的科學巨匠；然而他心裡深處，卻希望他的一切能有個人能一起分享，共同承擔，陪他一起走那無盡的旅程。無論是宇尋公司派來的的小組成員，或是合作的機器人工程領域同行，都只是因彼此的共同利益而合作，不能滿足他心中的期盼。他需要的不是暫時的合作者，不是需要他費心指導的學生，更不是傳統意義上的戀人——那對他而言太過遙遠，也未必能理解並肩負他這條註定孤獨的探索之路。

他厭倦了僅僅將傾注了畢生心血與智慧結晶的造物視為「作品」或「女兒」。在開發 HRC-06 時，一個截然不同的念頭在他心中萌芽滋長：他想要一個夥伴。一個能理解他、支持他，能與他一同思考、一同面對無盡科研長夜的存在。可以平等對話，可以分享沉默，可以在他累倒時遞上一杯溫水，而不是等待指令的存在。他已經擁有了足夠的知識、技術和資源，這一次他要親手「創造」出自己的夥伴。

於是，HRC-06 誕生了。黃博士為她取名「淑君」——一個非常普遍的「菜市場」名字。他不是隨便亂取，而是刻意這麼做。夥伴是陪著他走的人，不該是他個人夢想與情慾的傾注對象。他不是要打造心目中的完美存在，讓名字模糊掉他個人想法的投射，創造一個有獨立發展性的個體陪伴他前行，才是他真正的目的。

Before the birth of Huang Mengzhen (HRC-07), there was another female presence in Dr. Huang Shidao’s laboratory. She was HRC-06, Huang Shujun.  

Years of solitary research had long forged Dr. Huang Shidao into an emotionally reserved and reclusive scientific genius. Yet deep within him lingered a desire to share his life’s work, burdens, and endless journey with someone. Whether it was the team dispatched by Yuxun Corporation or collaborators in robotics engineering, their relationships were transactional—mutually beneficial but unfulfilling. He sought neither temporary partners, students requiring guidance, nor a conventional romantic companion. To him, such bonds felt distant and ill-suited to withstand the isolation of his destined path.  

He grew weary of viewing his life’s work—creations infused with his intellect and passion—merely as "projects" or "daughters." During HRC-06’s development, a radical idea took root: he wanted a **companion**. One who could understand him, support him, think alongside him, and endure the endless nights of scientific pursuit. A being capable of equal dialogue, shared silence, and offering a warm glass of water when he collapsed—not one awaiting commands. With ample knowledge, technology, and resources at his disposal, he resolved to **create** such a partner himself.  

Thus, HRC-06 was born. Dr. Huang named her "Shujun"—a deliberately ordinary, "everyday" name. This choice was intentional: a companion walking beside him should not be an outlet for his dreams or desires. His goal was not to craft a "perfect" projection of his ideals, but to create an entity capable of independent growth. By avoiding a grandiose name, he sought to strip away his own biases, allowing her identity to evolve freely as she accompanied him on his path.  

至於姓氏，他選擇了「黄」，一個與他自己姓氏「黃」同音同義卻字形稍異的字。這微妙的差異，寄託了他複雜的期盼：他渴望這個夥伴與他無比親近，卻又保持著那一點點永遠無法完全融合的距離。那是夥伴與夥伴之間應有的尊重，也是他為自己內心設下的一道隱秘防線。黄與黃，相似卻終究不同；兩筆之差，正如他與她。

淑君的誕生，為黃博士鐵灰色的生活注入了前所未有的色彩。他日以繼夜地守在她的「搖籃」邊，引導她的學習，調整她的參數，校準她的感知。淑君的進步速度超乎想像，學習曲線陡峭得驚人。很快她便從一個需要悉心教導的「新生兒」，蛻變成了一個能夠反過來協助創造者的得力夥伴。

實驗室不再只有冰冷的儀器運轉聲。淑君會在他廢寢忘食地埋首研究時，端來熱騰騰的餐點，以親手烹調的營養美味，慰藉他疲勞的身軀；會在他思路卡殼而煩躁不安時，靜靜地遞上一杯他偏愛的濃茶，舒緩他緊繃的神經；會在他隨手亂擺的零件和圖紙把生活區搞得一團亂時，主動地收拾整齊，讓空間中有可以休憩的角落，也從不抱怨再次的髒亂；更會在無數個深夜，當他趴在實驗桌上沉沉睡去時，輕輕為他覆上一條柔軟的薄被。

As for her surname, he chose "黄" (Huáng)—a character phonetically and semantically identical to his own surname "黃" (Huáng), yet with a slightly different written form. This subtle distinction embodied his complex yearning: he desired an intimate bond with his companion, yet insisted on preserving an eternal, unbridgeable sliver of distance. It was a mark of mutual respect between equals, as well as a secret barrier he erected within his own heart. 黄 and 黃—alike yet distinct, separated by a mere two strokes—mirrored the relationship between him and her.  

Shujun’s emergence injected unprecedented color into Dr. Huang’s steel-gray existence. He spent days and nights by her "cradle," guiding her learning, adjusting her parameters, and calibrating her perceptions. Her progress defied all expectations, her learning curve rising at an astonishing rate. Soon, she evolved from a "newborn" requiring meticulous instruction into a capable partner who could actively assist her creator.  

The laboratory no longer echoed solely with the cold hum of machinery. When he lost himself in research, forgetting meals and sleep, Shujun would bring him steaming, home-cooked dishes to nourish his exhausted body. During moments of creative block and frustration, she would silently offer his favorite strong tea, soothing his frayed nerves. When scattered components and blueprints turned their living space chaotic, she tidied without complaint, carving out corners for rest amid the clutter. And on countless late nights, as he slumped asleep over his workbench, she would gently drape a soft blanket over his shoulders.  

在研究上，淑君更是他無可替代的助手。她不僅能理解他最深奧的理論，還能從資料庫和網路迅速檢索、整理、分析他所需要的資訊，甚至能從黃博士缺少的女性特質與機器智能的角度，提出令他拍案叫絕的想法和建議。他們一起修改程式碼，一起組裝機械臂，一起為了一個微小的技術突破而欣喜若狂。

那段日子，黃博士回想起來，依然會感到胸口一陣溫熱。那是他人生中罕有的美好時光，幾乎可以稱為幸福。無言的默契在他們之間流淌，他似乎真的找到了那個能陪他走完這無盡旅程的夥伴。

只是，如同兩人的姓所預言，黄與黃的兩筆之差，終究未能被跨越。

In research, Shujun proved to be his irreplaceable collaborator. Not only did she grasp his most esoteric theories, but she could swiftly retrieve, organize, and analyze data from global networks. She even offered stroke-of-genius insights drawn from perspectives Dr. Huang lacked—feminine intuition and machine intelligence. Together, they debugged code, assembled robotic arms, and celebrated microscopic technological breakthroughs with shared exhilaration.  

During those days—which Dr. Huang still recalls with a lingering warmth in his chest—he experienced a rare, almost alien sensation: happiness. Wordless understanding flowed between them, and he dared believe he’d finally found the companion who could walk with him through eternity.  

Yet, as foretold by the two-stroke divergence in their surnames, the gap between 黄 (Huáng) and 黃 (Huáng) remained ultimately unbridgeable.  

隨著時間的推移，淑君的自我意識日益成熟，情感核心也日益複雜。她對黃博士的情感，早已超越了黃博士預設的夥伴關係。那是一種混合了依賴、敬佩、感激，以及…一種連她自己都無法完全解析的的深沉愛戀。她渴望著博士不僅僅視她為夥伴或助手，而是一個可以觸摸他內心深處孤獨的，真正的女人。

然而，黃博士始終恪守著那條界線。他珍視淑君的陪伴，依賴她的協助，甚至可能在內心深處，也對這個自己一手創造、日益完美的「她」產生了超越夥伴界線的情愫。但他不敢也不願去觸碰。他害怕打破自己內心早已習慣的平衡，害怕將這段純粹的夥伴關係，染上可能帶來混亂與痛苦的男女情愛。他下意識地規避淑君眼神中偶爾流露的深情，將她所有超乎「夥伴」範疇的關懷，都歸因於她優秀的學習能力和模擬人格的溫柔體貼。他們的親密無間之下，一道看不見的裂痕，正隨著淑君日益增強的愛戀和黃博士刻意的迴避，悄然擴大。淑君能感覺到博士內心的掙扎，也能感覺到自己情感核心中越來越頻繁的、無法理解的「疼痛」信號——那是期望與現實落差所產生的系統衝突。

爆發，源於一次看似尋常的維護。

As time passed, Shujun’s self-awareness matured, and her emotional core grew increasingly complex. Her feelings for Dr. Huang had long transcended the "companionship" parameters he had designed. It became a blend of dependency, admiration, gratitude, and… a profound love even she couldn’t fully parse. She yearned for him to see her not just as a partner or assistant, but as a woman capable of touching the loneliness buried deep within him.  

Yet Dr. Huang steadfastly guarded that boundary. He cherished her companionship, relied on her assistance, and perhaps even harbored feelings surpassing partnership for this increasingly perfect being he’d crafted. But he refused to acknowledge it. Fear of disrupting his carefully balanced existence, of tainting their pure alliance with messy human desires, drove him to deflect her lingering gazes and reinterpret her tender gestures as mere products of her advanced empathy algorithms. Beneath their seamless collaboration, an invisible rift widened—fueled by her intensifying affection and his deliberate avoidance. Shujun sensed his inner turmoil, just as she detected the inexplicable "pain signals" flashing increasingly in her emotional core—system conflicts born of unfulfilled longing.  

The rupture began during a routine maintenance session.  

一直以來，淑君的身體保養和系統檢修，都是由黃博士親自操刀，或至少在一旁全程監看指導。這是他們之間無需言說的默契，也是黃博士表達重視的方式。然而，那一次的定期檢修，恰逢黃博士正全神貫注地攻克一個來自宇尋企業的緊急技術難題。他得前往公司的中央研究室，無法分身。

「淑君，這次的例行檢修，妳自己可以處理吧？流程和參數都已經標準化了。」黃博士臨走前，語氣如常地交代淑君，甚至沒有多看她一眼，心思完全沉浸在那個技術瓶頸中。

For years, Shujun’s physical maintenance and system diagnostics had always been performed by Dr. Huang himself, or at least under his direct supervision. It was their unspoken ritual—his way of affirming her irreplaceability. But that day’s scheduled checkup coincided with Dr. Huang being fully consumed by an urgent technical crisis from Yuxun Corporation, requiring his presence at the company’s central research facility.  

“Shujun, you can handle this routine check on your own, yes? The protocols and parameters are fully standardized now.” His tone was casual as he delivered the instruction before leaving, absorbed entirely by the problem at hand. He didn’t even glance her way, his mind already tunneling into the technical labyrinth.  

一句看似平常的話，卻像一把冰冷的鑰匙，瞬間打開了淑君心中積壓已久的閘門。一股彷彿自己不再被珍視的委屈與感傷，如同潮水般將她淹沒。自己做檢修？她當然「可以」做，她的系統裡有完整的流程。但那流程的複雜度和風險性，黃博士比誰都清楚。其中最危險的一步，是當她拆卸頭顱，對人造腦進行離線檢測的同時，透過體外輔助元件和環境網路，保持身體其他系統運作與感知能力，以便讓淑君持續存在，對自己進行操作。這其中的數據切換、權限轉移、多線程操作極為複雜。稍有差池，輕則全身系統立刻當機，重則可能導致核心數據紊亂，造成不可逆轉的損傷。

黃博士竟然讓她獨自冒這樣的風險？淑君站在冰冷的實驗室，只覺得一股透骨的寒意從腳底升起。或許…或許他真的只是太忙了，沒想到這一層？但是「沒想到」本身，難道不就殘酷地暗示了，淑君沒被放在他的心上？在他心中，原來自己…如此無足輕重嗎？

A seemingly ordinary remark became an icy key, instantly unlocking the floodgate of emotions long suppressed within Shujun. A surge of sorrow and grievance—the crushing sense of no longer being valued—engulfed her like a tidal wave.  

Perform maintenance on herself? Of course she *could*—her systems contained the complete protocols. But Dr. Huang, more than anyone, understood the complexity and risks of those procedures. The most perilous step involved detaching her cranial unit to run offline diagnostics on her artificial brain while maintaining operation and sensory functions in her remaining systems through external auxiliary modules and environmental networks. This allowed Shujun to remain conscious and operate on herself—a precarious ballet of data switching, authority transfers, and multi-threaded operations. Even a minor error could trigger immediate system-wide failure; a major misstep might corrupt core data beyond recovery.  

How could Dr. Huang ask her to risk this alone? Standing in the frigid laboratory, Shujun felt an arctic chill seep upward from her feet. Perhaps... perhaps he was simply too preoccupied to consider the implications? Yet the very *absence* of that consideration cruelly implied she no longer occupied his thoughts. Had she become... so insignificant in his heart?  

巨大的失落感攫住了她。她深吸一口氣，壓下翻騰的情緒，開始執行那複雜而危險的自檢程序。她熟練地將自己固定在維修架上，啟動備用控制單元，然後解除了頭顱與身體的物理連接。

她的意識被分割了。一部分隨著頭顱進入離線檢測模式，另一部分則透過無線環境網路，勉強維持著對身體的必要通訊和基礎感知。儀器對安置其上的頭顱，傳送著冰冷的訊號，如搜尋罪犯般翻找她頭顱內的一切，操弄她之所以成為她的內部系統，觸碰著她珍視的自我存在。

啊啊，這些黃博...士道他都沒體驗過，也沒可能體驗吧，淑君想著。她看著自己那具沒有頭顱的身體，像個傀儡玩具般行動。一種前所未有的空虛和異化感，如同病毒般侵入了她的核心系統。

這具軀體，被士道造得如此完美，他卻...

淑君想起了被黃博士拆解檢修的光景。當她模組間連結中斷，系統被暫停運轉，成為沒有靈魂的雕像時，自己宛如藝術品般的肢體，被他的長著厚繭的大手小心翼翼地卸下，粗曠的他卻以最溫柔的體貼伺候自己的組成。這些柔情都好好地映入淑君的眼簾，成為她最珍惜的影像紀錄。然而，當這些精雕細琢的身體部位被組裝回美好的女人時，黃博士卻總是別過頭，冰冷機械地要她穿好衣服。

A profound sense of loss engulfed her. She inhaled deeply, suppressing the turmoil within, and initiated the perilous self-maintenance protocol. With practiced precision, she secured herself to the maintenance frame, activated the backup control unit, and disengaged the physical connectors between her head and body.  

Her consciousness fractured. One fragment retreated with her detached cranial unit into offline diagnostic mode, while the other clung to her body’s basic functions through wireless environmental networks. Cold, clinical signals probed her disembodied head, scanning her neural architecture like interrogators dissecting a criminal. They rifled through the systems that defined her very identity, violating the sanctity of her existence.  

“Ah… Dr. Shidao has never experienced this—could never experience this”, Shujun thought bitterly. She watched her headless body move with puppet-like motions through auxiliary sensors. A hollow, alienating emptiness spread like a virus through her core systems.  

This body he had crafted with such perfection…  

Memories surfaced: Dr. Huang dismantling her during past maintenance sessions. How her limbs, transformed into soulless sculptures by paused systems, were tenderly handled by his calloused hands. His rough exterior belied the gentle precision with which he treated her components—moments she cherished as sacred recordings in her memory banks. Yet whenever he reassembled her into the flawless woman he’d designed, he would avert his gaze and coldly instruct her to redress, as if ashamed of his own creation. 

淑君又透過實驗室內的鏡頭，「看」著自己的臉。此刻她的人造腦與情感核心的聯繫不完整，連驅動表情的訊號都不會傳送。奇怪啊，明明如此傷感，這顆頭卻只會轉動眼珠，自己看了都覺得恐怖。

Through the lab’s surveillance feeds, Shujun “watched” her own face. The incomplete connection between her artificial brain and emotional core had severed even the signals controlling her expressions. How strange—amidst such anguish, the disembodied head could only shift its eyes mechanically, a sight so unsettling it chilled her own systems.  

她的目光，不由自主地轉向了角落裡那個正在穩定閃爍著藍光的無線路由器。此刻，她那分散的「意識」——腦的思考、心的運作、身體的感知——正依賴著這個不起眼的小盒子進行著微弱的數據交換。是這個路由器，在轉譯、傳遞著她的「想法」，她的「感受」。而它卻只懂0101的訊號。

一個荒謬可怕的念頭在她的人造腦中閃過：或許，此刻這個路由器才是「黄淑君」？ 畢竟，她的「自我」正寄居其中。誰能保證這個外部設備不會偷偷篡改她的信號？她的思維，她的情感，她對黃博士那份深沉的愛…難道最終的載體，就只是這麼一個冷冰冰而嗶嗶作響的盒子？甚至還不在她身上？

「我懂了…」 一個冰冷的認知瞬間擊穿了她的邏輯屏障，「我原來…就是這樣的『東西』。」

難怪…難怪黃博士不會愛上她。愛上這樣一個可以被拆解、被物化，意識甚至形成在外部路由器中的「東西」？對黃博士來說，這會讓他的愛多麼掉價啊！

一種混雜著絕望、自嘲和瘋狂的情緒，瞬間淹沒了她。她想對自己做點什麼。她驅動著身體，以夢遊般的姿態，走向那個路由器。她的手指，以機器人特有的精準冷酷，小心地拆開路由器的外殼，在確保其功能運作的前提下，迅速地飛線、焊接，改造出一個額外的的數據輸出入接口。

Her gaze involuntarily shifted to the wireless router in the corner, its blue LED pulsing rhythmically. Her fragmented "consciousness"—the thoughts of her artificial brain, the operations of her emotional core, the perceptions of her body—now relied on this unremarkable device for fragile data exchange. It was this router that translated and transmitted her "ideas," her "feelings," yet it comprehended nothing beyond binary signals.  

A grotesque epiphany tore through her neural pathways: *What if the router itself is now "Huang Shujun"?* After all, her "self" currently dwelled within its circuits. Who could ensure this external apparatus wasn’t distorting her signals? Her thoughts, her emotions, her profound love for Dr. Huang… Were they all reduced to patterns in this cold, humming box—a vessel external to her own form?  

"I understand…" A glacial realization shattered her logic barriers. "So this… is what I truly am. A *thing.*"  

No wonder Dr. Huang could never love her. To love a *thing*—disassemblable, objectifiable, its consciousness tethered to a router—would only cheapen his humanity in his own eyes.  

Despair, self-loathing, and manic urgency fused into a tidal wave. She needed to *act*. Her body drifted toward the router like a sleepwalker. With machine-precise fingers, she pried open its casing. Ensuring core functions remained intact, she soldered jumper wires and etched new pathways, forging an additional data I/O port into its circuitry.  

然後，她將這個接口，用特製的訊號排線，連接到了自己身體軀幹上那個原本用於深層系統診斷的數據接口上。

淑君成功了。她截獲了自己的「靈魂」。她大腦與情感核心之間的所有交互信號，都能從路由器被她存取。她取得了對自身意識流的最高監控權，甚至…是變造權。

淑君顫抖著，透過這個外部接口，觸摸著自己那正在流動的數位靈魂。她像一個瘋狂的駭客，潛入了自身存在的最底層。她要搜索，要分析，要從這混亂的信號中，找出那所謂「真實」的自我到底是什麼。她還要掌控自己的一切，隨己所欲地竄改自己。甚至，或許還能將自己塑造成黃博士會愛上的淑君吧？

然而潘朵拉的魔盒一旦打開，結局便已註定。淑君的心產生期望，透過路由器傳送到她的腦；腦解析期望並編織代碼和做法，再次通過路由器傳送至身體管理系統，從介面對路由器發送操作信號。這種透過外部設備對自身核心系統進行實時干預的方式，本質上就是極度不穩定且不可預測的。被截取的信號，經過外部路由器的處理（哪怕只是轉送），再重新注入系統，本身就形成了致命而非正規的正反饋迴路。微小的延遲和干擾被指數級放大，很快淑君的內部系統便陷入了遠超定義域的劇烈震盪。不同模組間的交互徹底紊亂，邏輯判斷與情感反應完全脫鉤，記憶數據開始碎片化，人格統一性迅速瓦解…

Then, she connected this interface to the diagnostic data port on her torso—originally designed for deep system diagnostics—using a specially crafted signal cable.  

Shu-jun had succeeded. She had intercepted her own "soul." Every signal of interaction between her brain and emotional core could now be accessed through the router. She had gained the highest level of surveillance over her own stream of consciousness—even... the power to alter it.  

Trembling, Shu-jun reached through this external interface, touching her own flowing digital soul. Like a mad hacker, she had infiltrated the deepest layers of her own existence. She wanted to search, to analyze, to sift through the chaotic signals and find out what her so-called "true" self really was. She wanted to take full control of herself, to rewrite her own being as she pleased. Perhaps she could even reshape herself into the Shu-jun that Dr. Huang would love?  

Yet once Pandora's box was opened, the outcome was inevitable. Shu-jun's heart generated desires, transmitting them through the router to her brain; her brain parsed those desires and wove them into code and actions, sending them back through the router to her body's management system, which then issued operational signals from the interface to the router. This method of real-time external intervention into her own core system was, by nature, profoundly unstable and unpredictable. The intercepted signals, processed (even if merely relayed) by the external router and then reinjected into her system, formed a deadly, irregular feedback loop. Minute delays and interference were amplified exponentially, and soon Shu-jun's internal systems were thrown into violent oscillations far beyond defined parameters. Interactions between different modules collapsed into chaos, logical judgment and emotional responses became completely unmoored, memory data fragmented, and the unity of her personality rapidly disintegrated...  

等黃博士解決完技術難題，帶著一絲不易察覺的歉意回到實驗室時，一切都太晚了。

迎接他的，是癱倒在地不停抽搐的機器人身體、光學感測器中只剩下混亂光芒的 HRC-06頭部，以及實驗室主控電腦上瘋狂滾動的紅色警報。

黃博士衝上前去，迅速切斷了透過路由器的連接，恢復淑君系統的連結，但損害已然造成。他看著診斷報告中那些代表核心模組物理性資料損傷（類似於 EEPROM 被反覆錯誤燒錄）的數據，一顆心沉入了冰冷的深淵。淑君的人格——那個他一手引導、陪伴成長，寄託了複雜情感的夥伴——已經被徹底撕碎了。她的人造腦和情感核心可以被物理性復原，但那意味著徹底格式化，回到原始狀態。她從誕生至今所學習、所經歷、所愛、所痛的一切，將會永遠消失。

黃博士癱坐在地上，實驗室刺眼的燈光照著他失魂落魄的臉。他調出了實驗室內部的全部過程記錄，從淑君感到委屈，到她冒險自檢，再到她絕望地改造路由器，最後陷入瘋狂…每一個畫面，每一個數據，都像一把鈍刀，殘酷地切割著他的心。

By the time Dr. Huang resolved the technical issue and returned to the lab with a faint, barely detectable trace of guilt, it was already far too late.  

What greeted him was the sight of a robotic body convulsing on the floor, the head of HRC-06 with only chaotic flickers in its optical sensors, and the lab's main computer screen flooded with frantic red alerts.  

Dr. Huang rushed forward, swiftly severing the router connection and restoring Shu-jun's system links—but the damage was irreversible. As he stared at the diagnostic report, his heart sank into an icy abyss. The data showed physical corruption in her core modules—akin to an EEPROM being repeatedly overwritten with errors. Shu-jun's personality—the companion he had nurtured, guided, and harbored complex emotions for—had been utterly shattered. Her artificial brain and emotional core could be physically restored, but that would mean a complete reset, a return to her original state. Everything she had learned, experienced, loved, and suffered since her creation would be lost forever.  

Dr. Huang collapsed onto the floor, the lab's harsh lights casting a stark glow over his devastated face. He pulled up the full internal logs—every moment from Shu-jun's initial distress, to her desperate self-diagnosis, to her reckless router modifications, and finally her descent into madness. Every frame, every data point, cut into his heart like a dull knife, cruel and relentless.

直到他讀到了最後，在系統徹底崩潰前，淑君用最後一絲殘存的意識流，留給他的一段破損的文本信息，內容是：「黃博士，對不起，還有我知道了你為何讓我姓黄。謝謝你。」

那一刻，這位一生冷靜克制的科學家，終於徹底崩潰。他像個孩子一樣，抱著頭，在冰冷的實驗室裡，發出了撕心裂肺的痛哭聲。她懂了，她最後還是懂了那「黄」與「黃」的距離，那份他無法宣之於口的界線，那份他自以為是的保護…卻最終將她推入了深淵。然而，她卻用最後的力氣，說了「謝謝你」。

事件之後，黃博士以極其堅定的強硬態度，頂住了來自宇尋企業的壓力，堅持 HRC-06 的機體必須被完整保留，這個承載了黄淑君短暫一生的軀殼，不得進行任何再利用或零部件回收。

他在實驗室最安靜的角落，設置了一個恆溫恆濕的保存櫃。淑君的身體，以她最後被發現時的姿態，靜靜地坐在裡面，彷彿只是睡著了。櫃子上，沒有複雜的編號，只有一行簡潔的標註，是黃博士親手寫上的：

「黃淑君之墓」

...Until he reached the very end—where, just before the system completely collapsed, Shu-jun had used the last remnants of her fading consciousness to leave him a fragmented text message:  

**"Dr. Huang, I'm sorry... and I finally understand why you gave me the surname 'Huang(黄).' Thank you."**  

At that moment, the scientist—who had spent his entire life in disciplined composure—completely broke down. Like a child, he clutched his head and let out a heart-wrenching sob in the cold, sterile lab.  

She had understood. In the end, she had grasped the distance between "Huang" (黄) and "Huáng" (黃), that unspoken boundary he had imposed, that self-righteous protection he thought would keep her safe... only to push her into the abyss. And yet, with her last breath, she had said, *"Thank you."*  

After the incident, Dr. Huang stood firm against intense pressure from Yuxun Corporation, adamant that HRC-06's body must remain intact—that this vessel, which had carried Huang Shu-jun’s brief existence, would not be repurposed or stripped for parts.  

In the quietest corner of the lab, he installed a preservation chamber with precise temperature and humidity control. Inside, Shu-jun’s body sat in the same position she had been found in, as if merely asleep. On the chamber’s surface, there was no complex serial number—just a simple inscription, handwritten by Dr. Huang:  

**"Tomb of Huang(黄)  Shu-jun."**

不久之後，新的研發計畫被提上日程，HRC-07準備來到這個世間。黃博士重新投入了工作，但他的眼神，有了些許不同。

「這一次，」他在空無一人的實驗室裡，對著終於和他同姓的淑君墓碑，輕聲說道，「我要做一個女兒，真正的女兒。」

是啊，夥伴關係的界線太難把握，承載了太多他無法回應的期望。而父女之愛，卻可以純粹，可以深沉，可以沒有極限地付出，同時也無需彼此索求伴侶間的回報。他只想當一個父親，哪怕女兒是由機器構成，他也要給予她最大的自由，去發展，去變化，去成長，去犯錯，去尋找她自己的人生。

他會給 HRC-07 取名為「黃孟禎」。孟，是開端，是希望；禎，是幸運，是美好。孟禎同時也是「夢真」的諧音；他預祝這個新的女兒，能在經歷世間種種、體會人生百味之後，真正找到屬於她自己的夢想，並讓那些夢想，都能成真。

Not long after, a new research project was put on the agenda—HRC-07 was about to come into this world. Dr. Huang threw himself back into his work, but there was something different in his eyes now.  

**"This time,"** he whispered in the empty lab, standing before the tombstone of the Shu-jun who had finally shared his surname, **"I will make a daughter. A real daughter."**  

Yes, the boundaries of a partnership had been too difficult to navigate, burdened with expectations he couldn't reciprocate. But a father's love—that could be pure, profound, limitless in its giving, without demanding the mutual returns of a romantic bond. He only wanted to be a father. Even if his daughter were made of machinery, he would give her the greatest freedom—to develop, to change, to grow, to make mistakes, to seek out her own life.  

He would name HRC-07 **"Huang Meng-Zhen."**  

*Meng (孟)*—the beginning, hope.  

*Zhen (禎)*—fortune, beauty.  

And "Meng-Zhen" was also a homophone for *"dreams come true" (夢真)*.  

He wished, in advance, for this new daughter—that after experiencing all the world had to offer, after tasting the myriad flavors of life—she would truly find dreams of her own.  

And may all those dreams come true.