尋找自我的機器基督徒少女
Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl
陳志文視角
Chen Zhi-Wen's Perspective
我叫陳志文，是就讀機械工程系的大學生。對我來說，世界上最有趣的事情，大概就是看著一堆冰冷的金屬零件，透過精密的設計和計算，精巧的組合與連動，最終變成能夠發揮功能的機械。那些齒輪的完美嚙合、連桿的巧妙傳動、還有程式碼控制下的精準動作，都是人類智慧的結晶。別人可能覺得我們工科男生有點宅，但沉浸在機械的世界裡進行創造和實現，那感覺真的很棒。
除了對主修領域的興趣，就像一般大學男生，我也喜歡看動畫，打電玩，以及...嗯，怎麼說呢，擁抱青春？哈哈。大學男生，想要有個可愛的女朋友，很合理吧？但是身為完美的阿宅，我根本不知道怎麼開始。路上搭訕？給同學遞情書？拜託，根本不可能的。就算去聯誼，要怎麼聊？聊轉換效率？應力腐蝕？還是尤拉方程式之美？甚至動漫電玩？腦海裡根本就想不出我追女生的畫面啊！
還好，上蒼沒有拋棄我，只是得付點代價。
My name is Chen Zhi-Wen, and I'm a university student majoring in Mechanical Engineering. For me, probably the most fascinating thing in the world is watching a pile of cold metal parts, through precise design and calculation, cleverly assemble and link together, ultimately transforming into functional machinery. The perfect meshing of gears, the ingenious transmission of linkages, and the precise movements controlled by code are all crystallizations of human intelligence. Others might think us engineering guys are a bit nerdy, but immersing ourselves in the world of mechanics to create and realize things, that feeling is truly fantastic.
Besides my interest in my major, like most university guys, I also enjoy watching anime, playing video games, and... well, how should I put it, embracing youth? Haha. It's perfectly reasonable for a university guy to want a cute girlfriend, right? But as a perfect otaku, I have absolutely no idea how to start. Approaching girls on the street? Passing love letters to classmates? Please, that's completely impossible. Even if I went on a blind date, what would I talk about? Conversion efficiency? Stress corrosion? Or the beauty of Euler's equation? Even anime and video games? I simply can't picture myself pursuing a girl!
Fortunately, heaven hasn't abandoned me, though I have to pay a price.
那天下午，我剛上完有點枯燥的材料力學，腦子裡塞滿扭來扭去的曲線。走在回宿舍的路上，我習慣性地掏出手機，想看看之前收藏的一個論壇有沒有更新。有人回應了我的討論。專心看著，手指在螢幕上不斷游移，盤算著要提什麼問題…我看得太入神了，以至於完全沒注意到周圍的環境。
「砰！」
靠！啥鬼？撞了個啥？有夠痛，該死的痛啊啊啊！整個人天旋地轉，金星亂冒，手機也「啪」地一聲掉在地上。我痛得叫了出來，閉眼摀住額頭蹲下，眼淚都快飆出來了。
「同學，你還好嗎？」
女孩溫暖清亮的語聲，像一縷清泉，忽然在我耳邊響起。
That afternoon, I had just finished a somewhat tedious Strength of Materials class, my head filled with twisting and turning curves. Walking back to the dorm, I habitually pulled out my phone, wanting to see if a forum I'd bookmarked had any updates. Someone had replied to my discussion. Focused intently, my fingers danced across the screen, pondering what questions to ask... I was so engrossed that I completely failed to notice my surroundings.
Bang!
Damn it! What the heck? What did I bump into? It hurt like hell, freaking hell! My whole world spun, stars flashed before my eyes, and my phone smack! hit the ground. I cried out in pain, closing my eyes, clutching my forehead, and crouching down, tears almost welling up.
"Excuse me, are you alright?"
A girl's warm and clear voice, like a refreshing spring, suddenly rang in my ears.
努力抬起頭，視線還有點模糊。我看到一個背光的女生輪廓，俯身關心我。幾秒鐘後，我的視覺才重新聚焦。一個面容秀麗的女孩，穿著簡單的襯衫和長裙，懷裡抱著幾本厚厚的原文書，清澈的眼神帶著溫柔的擔憂。
「呃…我…我沒事…只是…有點暈…」我試圖站起來，但腳下一個踉蹌，差點又摔倒。
「你先坐一下吧，別急著站起。」她伸出手輕輕扶著我，手指有點冰涼，動作輕柔平穩。我被扶到旁邊的長椅上坐下。看著我捂著額頭，一臉痛苦又狼狽的樣子，她嘴角似乎微微彎了一下，語氣帶著點揶揄：「走路要看路啊，同學，電線桿可是很硬的。」
電線桿？我這才反應過來，剛才一頭撞上的，竟然是電線桿…我的天啊！我竟然蠢到走路撞電線桿！又不是漫畫！蠢斃了！
「不…不好意思…」我低下頭，恨不得找個地縫鑽進去。「我…我剛才在看手機…啊還想著材料力學上課的內容，就…」我語無倫次地解釋著，聲音小得像蚊子叫。
I struggled to lift my head, my vision still a bit blurry. I saw a backlit silhouette of a girl leaning over me with concern. After a few seconds, my vision finally refocused. A beautiful girl with delicate features, wearing a simple shirt and a long skirt, held a few thick textbooks in her arms, her clear eyes filled with gentle worry.
"Uh... I... I'm okay... just... a little dizzy..." I tried to stand up, but my feet stumbled, and I almost fell again.
"Sit down for a moment, don't rush to get up." She reached out and gently supported me, her fingers a little cool, her movements soft and steady. I was helped to sit on a nearby bench. Looking at me clutching my forehead, looking both pained and embarrassed, the corners of her lips seemed to curve slightly, her tone carrying a hint of teasing: "You should watch where you're going, classmate. Utility poles are quite hard, you know."
Utility pole? It finally dawned on me that I had just run headfirst into a utility pole... Oh my god! I was actually dumb enough to bump into a utility pole while walking! This isn't a manga! How utterly stupid!
"N... no, I'm sorry..." I lowered my head, wishing I could find a crack in the ground to disappear into. "I... I was just looking at my phone... and also thinking about the content of the Strength of Materials class, so..." I stammered out an explanation, my voice barely louder than a mosquito's buzz.
「機械系的？」她莞爾一笑，順口問道。
「嗯，對，我是機械系的陳志文。」稍微定了定神，扶一下因為撞擊而歪掉的眼鏡，有些不好意思地抬頭看她。「謝謝妳…呃，怎麼稱呼？」
「黃孟禎，」她回答，聲音清脆中帶著幾許甜美，「外文系的。」
外文系？我有點驚訝，她看起來…嗯…很有氣質，我是說文靜內斂，不像我印象中某些外文系女生那麼活潑外放。
她笑了一下，又說道：「剛從哲學社社辦出來，就看到有人撞電線桿。或許這會激發你的哲思呢？有沒有興趣來我們社？」她伸出白而纖細的手，指了指不遠處的小樓。
"Mechanical Engineering?" she asked with a gentle smile.
"Yeah, that's right. I'm Chen Zhi-Wen from Mechanical Engineering." I composed myself slightly, adjusted my glasses that had been knocked askew by the impact, and looked up at her somewhat sheepishly. "Thank you... uh, what's your name?"
"Huang Meng-Zhen," she replied, her voice clear with a hint of sweetness. "Foreign Languages Department."
Foreign Languages Department? I was a little surprised. She seemed... well... very elegant, I mean quiet and reserved, unlike some of the Foreign Languages Department girls I'd imagined as being more lively and outgoing.
She chuckled softly and added, "Just came out of the Philosophy Club's office and saw someone run into a utility pole. Perhaps this will spark some philosophical thoughts for you? Interested in joining our club?" She extended a slender, white hand, gesturing towards a small building not far away."
哲學社？
不知道為什麼，聽到「哲學社」這三個字，再對上她那雙似乎能看透人心的清澈眼睛，我的心跳好像忽然漏了一拍。
她確認我沒有大礙，只是額頭紅了一塊之後，便抱著她的書，對我點點頭，轉身離開了。
略帶棕紅色的馬尾，在透過樹葉灑落的陽光中，散射出懾人的色彩；彷彿踏不出聲音的小白鞋，以輕盈的腳步穿梭地上的光與暗。長裙在清風中輕輕搖曳，襯衫隨身形曼妙擺動，轉頭看杜鵑花盛開的側臉，那嘴角的一抹淺彎更是溫柔到能接納全世界的愛。我...我...
"Philosophy Club?"
For some reason, upon hearing the words "Philosophy Club" and meeting her clear eyes that seemed to see right through me, my heart seemed to skip a beat.
After confirming that I was mostly okay, just with a red mark on my forehead, she hugged her books, nodded at me, and turned to leave.
Her slightly reddish-brown ponytail scattered captivating colors in the sunlight filtering through the leaves; her seemingly silent white sneakers moved with a light step through the patches of light and shadow on the ground. Her long skirt swayed gently in the breeze, her shirt moved gracefully with her figure, and the soft curve of her lips as she turned her head to look at the blooming azaleas was gentle enough to embrace all the love in the world. I... I...
坐在長椅上，我捂著還有點隱隱作痛的額頭，目送著她的背影消失在小路的盡頭，但她的身影仍盤踞在我心頭。她簡直像…像不小心落入凡間的天使。啊，阿宅我就是這麼俗啦，怎樣？算了，雖然撞到頭又痛又糗，好像也不全然是壞事。
黃孟禎…孟禎...噢，這名字已經竄進了我心窩..外文系、哲學社嗎...看來我的大學生活，還缺了點社團活動；知識領域也得補充欠缺的文學哲學養份，對吧？等等就來敲哲學社社辦的門，下學期再選修個莎士比亞？
很快地我提交了入社申請。對啦動機不純啦，能有正當理由接近我的天使，比什麼都重要。黃同學，我來了！
Sitting on the bench, I rubbed my still throbbing forehead, watching her retreating figure disappear at the end of the path, yet her image lingered vividly in my mind. She was simply like... like an angel who had accidentally descended to the mortal realm. Ah, so what if this otaku is being cheesy? So what? Even though bumping my head was painful and embarrassing, it doesn't seem like it was entirely a bad thing.
Huang Meng-Zhen... Meng-Zhen... Oh, that name had already burrowed its way into my heart. Foreign Languages Department, Philosophy Club... Looks like my university life has been lacking some club activities; my knowledge domain also needs to be supplemented with some much-needed literary and philosophical nourishment, right? I'll go knock on the Philosophy Club's office door right away, and maybe take a Shakespeare elective next semester?
Soon enough, I submitted my club application. Yeah, my motives weren't exactly pure, but having a legitimate reason to get closer to my angel was more important than anything. Huang Meng-Zhen, here I come!
在社團活動中，我和孟禎常常窩在角落，討論一些對我來說深奧到幾乎是另一個次元的東西——形上學、神學的本質、認知的邊界…老實說，孟禎的程度高我太多了，所謂的「討論」，根本都是她單方面在教我，我這個掛名的「午後草地上的哲學家」，在她面前簡直是個哲學幼兒園生，哈哈。
在哲學社中的孟禎穿著俐落輕鬆，言語舉止間透露出她的聰慧。相較初遇時的端莊大方，白T、牛仔褲和帆布鞋讓孟禎多了股活潑自在的大學生氣息，讓人不禁想親近。
During club activities, Meng-Zhen and I often huddled in a corner, discussing things that were so profound to me they were practically from another dimension – metaphysics, the essence of theology, the boundaries of cognition... Honestly, Meng-Zhen's level was way beyond mine. The so-called 'discussions' were basically her teaching me one-sidedly. This nominal 'philosopher on the afternoon lawn' was simply a philosophical kindergartener in front of her, haha.
In the Philosophy Club, Meng-Zhen dressed smartly and casually, her words and actions revealing her intelligence. Compared to the dignified and poised impression she gave when we first met, a white t-shirt, jeans, and canvas shoes gave Meng-Zhen a more lively and carefree university student vibe, making people feel an urge to get closer to her.
為了能跟上她的思路，我可是下了苦功，買了一堆看也看不懂的哲學書籍回家 K，希望能拉近一點我們之間的距離，至少得讓她覺得我不是個只懂齒輪、程式碼和微分方程的笨蛋（奇怪的是，她這外文系的，好像也略懂？我的女神好強好棒啊啊啊啊）。
日子就這樣一天天過去，我們越來越熟悉彼此，討論也變得更加熱烈（雖然主要還是聽她說）；除此之外，也常一起出遊，一起逛街，一起運動，或者只是單純地一起漫步在大學校園裡。第一次發現，咱們學校其實還蠻漂亮的？
有天在路上巧遇孟禎，她說她正要去商場買東西，我馬上自告奮勇要幫忙。那天她穿著素雅的T恤和貼身的牛仔褲，略短的褲腳中溜出一截美妙的小腿，留下了遐想的空間。輕便的黑色平底鞋包住孟禎這次沒穿襪子的雙足（還是穿隱形襪？女生的東西不懂啦），每次踏步時的彎曲暗示著腳掌此刻的美妙模樣。因為出校園而薄施的淡妝讓青春的臉龐多出幾許大人味，俏麗的五官瞬間就能抽走我的魂魄。孟禎在商場裡開心地翻找五花八門的商品，還不時轉頭問我覺得怎樣。拜託！我的眼中放進去的全是妳的身影，要怎麼看商品啦！
To keep up with her train of thought, I really put in the effort, buying a pile of philosophical books I couldn't even understand to read at home, hoping to narrow the gap between us. At the very least, I had to make her think I wasn't just some idiot who only understood gears, code, and differential equations (strangely, she, a Foreign Languages major, seemed to know a bit about them too? My goddess is so strong and amazing, ahhhh!).
Days passed like this, and we became more and more familiar with each other. Our discussions became more animated (though it was still mostly me listening to her); besides that, we often went out together, shopped together, exercised together, or simply strolled around the university campus. It was the first time I realized that our school was actually quite beautiful.
One day, I ran into Meng-Zhen on the road. She said she was heading to the mall to buy some things, and I immediately volunteered to help. That day, she was wearing a simple t-shirt and fitted jeans, the slightly cropped hem revealing a beautiful length of her calf, leaving room for imagination. Comfortable black flats encased Meng-Zhen's bare feet (or maybe she was wearing invisible socks? I don't understand girls' stuff). The flex of her feet with each step hinted at their lovely shape at that moment. The light makeup she wore for going off-campus added a touch of maturity to her youthful face, her pretty features capable of instantly stealing my soul. Meng-Zhen happily rummaged through the dazzling array of goods in the mall, occasionally turning her head to ask for my opinion. Please! My eyes were completely filled with your image, how could I possibly see the merchandise!"
天氣漸漸炎熱，孟禎找我一起健走運動。她換上短袖、短褲和涼鞋，白皙的雙腿踩著輕靈的腳步，秀氣的臂膀簡直是造物的奇蹟。盤踞我腦海的曲線，從應力應變曲線、功率效率曲線和系統狀態曲線，轉換成孟禎小腿的曲線、鎖骨的曲線、臉龐的曲線和腰身的曲線，哦我的媽呀，我簡直要死了，幸福而死。我何德何能，身旁怎能有這麼好的女孩相伴呢？看著她擺動的手，如果有一天能牽到，我是否會因過於滿足，死於那一刻？
The weather gradually grew hotter, and Meng-Zhen suggested we go for a walk to exercise. She changed into a short-sleeved shirt, shorts, and sandals. Her fair legs moved with a light and airy step, and her delicate arms were simply a miracle of creation. The curves occupying my mind transformed from stress-strain curves, power efficiency curves, and system state curves into the curves of Meng-Zhen's calves, her collarbone, the contours of her face, and the line of her waist. Oh my god, I was practically dying, dying of happiness. What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful girl by my side? Looking at her swaying hand, if I could hold it one day, would I die of utter contentment at that very moment?
對了對了，還有次選修的文學課程下課後，與孟禎一起走。路邊有社團擺攤在辦活動，看到孟禎後大力邀請她參加，原來是旗袍扮裝。哼哼哼，你們一定是看到孟禎有多美才那麼努力邀的吧？孟禎拗不過他們，答應參加了。
哇喔！如我所料，換上旗袍的孟禎，可愛到沒人性啊！黃同學，妳是打算讓我心臟病發，用妳的美殺死我嗎？在社團人員的指導下，她坐在花圃中涼亭的木椅上，以最優雅的姿態嶄露風采。她的右腿疊在左腿上，放鬆的腳尖有著自然的擺盪。旗袍中是她挺拔的軀體，未作表情的嘴角卻洩漏了害羞，眼神似乎在尋求我對她的看法。
Oh, one more thing. There was also the time after our elective literature class when I walked with Meng-Zhen. There were student clubs setting up booths by the roadside holding activities. Upon seeing Meng-Zhen, they enthusiastically invited her to participate. Turns out it was a cheongsam (qípáo) dress-up event. Hmph, you guys must have seen how beautiful Meng-Zhen is to try so hard to invite her, right? Meng-Zhen couldn't refuse their persistent requests and agreed to join.
Wow! Just as I expected, Meng-Zhen in a cheongsam was unbelievably adorable! Huang Tongxue (classmate), are you trying to give me a heart attack, to kill me with your beauty? Under the guidance of the club members, she sat on the wooden chair in the flower garden's gazebo, displaying her charm with the utmost elegance. Her right leg was crossed over her left, her relaxed toes swinging naturally. The cheongsam accentuated her slender figure, and her unexpressive lips hinted at shyness, her eyes seeming to seek my opinion of her.
Man! What can I say?我眼睛都快閃瞎啦！之後孟禎還找我陪她一起在花圃中散個步，盛開的繁花以五顏六色增添孟禎本已高到不行的嫵媚與可愛。有一瞬間她輕聲問我問題而靠過來，由下往上的臉龐發送出世界上最美的笑容，過於接近的額頭逼我拿出最大的自制力，以免不能自己地親下去。黃同學，妳這堂課太難修了！
Man! What can I say? My eyes were practically blinded by the light! Afterwards, Meng-Zhen even asked me to take a walk with her in the flower garden. The blooming flowers added their vibrant colors to Meng-Zhen's already off-the-charts charm and loveliness. There was a moment when she leaned in to ask me a question softly, her face tilted upwards, sending out the most beautiful smile in the world. Our foreheads were so close it forced me to exert the greatest self-control to avoid impulsively kissing her. Huang Tongxue, this course you're teaching is way too difficult to pass!
等我們更熟悉彼此，某日孟禎下定決心，略帶不安地告訴我，她是基督徒。那天她穿著充滿純潔感的白色洋裝，腳上也是白皮鞋，銀色的十字架閃耀在她胸前，原來她正要前往教堂做禮拜。孟禎手輕握十字架，笑著問我驚不驚訝？
As we became even more familiar with each other, one day Meng-Zhen made up her mind and told me, with a hint of unease, that she was a Christian. That day, she was wearing a white dress that exuded purity, and white leather shoes. A silver cross shimmered on her chest; it turned out she was on her way to church for worship. Meng-Zhen gently held the cross, smiled, and asked me if I was surprised.
老實說，我真沒想過她是個基督徒。我自己沒宗教信仰，也不認為需要幫自己找個主。就這點而言，知道孟禎把自己託付給另一個上主，的確讓我心中有刺刺的感覺。不過我是我，孟禎是孟禎，有什麼理由非要她跟我一樣？沒錯，我是喜歡她，深深愛著她，就算她心裡有與我預期不同的成份，難道就不再能把她放進我心中啦？不是那樣，絕對不是那樣。孟禎是基督徒不是問題，要有問題也是我的問題，她可以自己決定自己的心放在哪裡。
孟禎開始跟我討論信仰，以及關於她自身更深入的想法和認知。她很坦誠地告訴我，自己也不確定上帝是否真的存在，但她原本就有「自己非屬於自己」的深刻認知，這點和基督教那種將一切「託付給主」的教義有著奇妙的相似感；對於「受造」這件事情，她更是有種旁人難以理解的感同身受。老實說，這部分我真的不太容易體會，或許得等到我更了解她。妳還真難懂啊，黃同學。我心底依然有刺刺的感覺，但我知道我連使用「包容」兩個字的資格都沒有。我不能以自己的認知去否定他人的認知，何況是孟禎。我珍惜她，連她心裡的上主一起珍惜她。
我們之間因信仰而產生的微妙尷尬，隨著時間逐漸淡去，我也更能沒有芥蒂地愛著孟禎。終於，孟禎對我提出邀請，跟她一起去教會參加青年團契的活動。她說並不是要我跟她一起信教（當然，我也信的話她更高興），而是想讓我能在教會的活動中更了解她。這不是傳福音，反而是對我更開放她的一切，我自然答應了，並在週日與她一起去教堂。
Honestly, it had never crossed my mind that she was Christian. I myself have no religious beliefs and don't feel the need to find a lord for myself. In that regard, knowing that Meng-Zhen entrusted herself to another Lord did give me a prickly feeling in my heart. However, I am me, and Meng-Zhen is Meng-Zhen. What reason is there to force her to be the same as me? That's right, I like her, I deeply love her. Even if there's a part of her heart that's different from what I expected, does that mean I can no longer keep her in my heart? No, absolutely not. Meng-Zhen being Christian isn't the problem; if there's a problem, it's mine. She can decide for herself where her heart belongs.
Meng-Zhen started discussing her faith with me, as well as her deeper thoughts and understanding. She told me very frankly that she wasn't even sure if God truly existed, but she had a deep-seated feeling that 'she didn't belong to herself,' which had a strange similarity to the Christian doctrine of 'entrusting everything to the Lord.' Regarding the idea of being 'created,' she had an empathy that was difficult for others to understand. Honestly, this part was really hard for me to grasp; perhaps I'd understand better when I knew her more. You're truly hard to fathom, Huang Tongxue. I still had that prickly feeling in my heart, but I knew I didn't even have the right to use the word 'tolerance.' I couldn't negate someone else's understanding with my own, especially not Meng-Zhen's. I cherished her, and I cherished even the Lord in her heart along with her.
The subtle awkwardness between us due to faith gradually faded with time, and I was able to love Meng-Zhen more without reservation. Finally, Meng-Zhen invited me to go to church with her to attend a youth fellowship activity. She said it wasn't to get me to convert (though, of course, she'd be even happier if I did), but rather she wanted me to understand her better through the church activities. This wasn't evangelism; instead, it was her opening up even more of herself to me. Naturally, I agreed and went to church with her on Sunday.
孟禎很開心地對我介紹她的教會，接著參加禮拜，高聲唱誦詩歌讚美主，然後在小組團契裡分享彼此接受恩惠的奇妙體驗。不管怎麼說，縱使我不認同基督教的教義，但看著孟禎在教堂裡，閉上眼睛虔誠地禱告，或是跟著大家一起高唱讚美詩歌時的安心滿足，和團契時分享體驗的快樂，我知道基督信仰確實是她心的一部分，也為她感到開心。戴在胸前的小小十字架，也的確很適合她。身為基督徒的黃孟禎，對我而言，不但不應是交往的阻礙，反而更多出了一股難以言喻的魅力；而且如果信仰裡能有我所愛之人想要的東西，那又有什麼不好？何況孟禎信任我，了解我的人格特質，願意向我這理工宅男揭露更多的自己，我很感動，也由衷感謝。理工宅男或許永遠也不會成為基督徒，但心裡放得進願意接受我的基督徒，喜愛她的一切，永遠呵護她。她屬於主，而我屬於她。
那天之後，宗教信仰再也不是彼此避諱的話題，十字架也開始常駐孟禎的胸前。老實說，本來就很清純的她，現在更多了聖潔的氣氛。靈動的大眼睛看著我，櫻桃小嘴輕聲訴說著最深刻的想法與心情，還有笑起來時候的小小梨渦…天哪，世界上怎麼會有這麼美好的女孩！我乾脆變成她頸項上那條十字架項鍊好了！
Meng-Zhen happily introduced me to her church, and then we participated in the service, loudly singing hymns praising the Lord, and then sharing our wonderful experiences of receiving grace in the small group fellowship. Regardless of my own lack of agreement with Christian doctrines, watching Meng-Zhen in church, her eyes closed in devout prayer, or the peaceful contentment on her face as she sang hymns with everyone, and the joy she radiated while sharing experiences during fellowship, I knew that the Christian faith was indeed a part of her heart, and I felt happy for her. The small cross she wore on her chest really suited her. Huang Meng-Zhen being a Christian, for me, not only shouldn't be an obstacle to our relationship, but it also added an indescribable charm to her; and if there was something my beloved wanted in her faith, what could be wrong with that? Moreover, Meng-Zhen trusted me, understood my personality, and was willing to reveal more of herself to this engineering nerd. I was deeply moved and sincerely grateful. An engineering nerd might never become a Christian, but his heart could certainly hold a Christian who accepted him, loving all of her, cherishing her forever. She belonged to the Lord, and I belonged to her.
After that day, religious faith was no longer a taboo topic between us, and the cross began to permanently reside on Meng-Zhen's chest. Honestly, she was already so pure, and now she had an even more saintly aura. Her bright, expressive eyes looked at me, her cherry lips softly spoke her deepest thoughts and feelings, and the little dimples that appeared when she smiled... Heavens, how could there be such a wonderful girl in this world! I might as well just transform into that cross necklace on her neck!
我們的話題越聊越開，內心中的東西也越挖越深。孟禎似乎已完全信任我，開始對我說她內在的特意之處。這麼美好的女孩，卻說自己的存在有不似人的成份。有天她略帶不安地拿張照片給我看。照片裡是年紀較小時的她，以及...嗯？什麼玩意！？兩條仿生機器人的腿，一顆像孟禎又有點不一樣的人頭？還有個裡面都是機械構造的軀幹？
Our conversations became more and more open, and we delved deeper and deeper into what was in our hearts. Meng-Zhen seemed to trust me completely and began to tell me about the unique aspects of her being. This wonderful girl actually said that there was a non-human component to her existence. One day, she hesitantly showed me a photograph. In the picture was a younger version of her, and... huh? What the heck?! Two bionic robot legs, a human head that looked like Meng-Zhen but was also slightly different? And a torso that was entirely mechanical inside?
不是吧，這哪是照片，改圖倒是改得很高明，看起來超逼真。我跟孟禎這麼說，她給我一個有點苦澀的微笑。孟禎說她從小就有感覺，自己的每一部分都不是真的。這張圖傳達的意思是，如果她是機器人，看似一個完整的個體，其實身上都是可以拆解的部件。她自己暫時完整，看著備用的肢體和開發不太成功的部位，了解其實每一個都能算作她自己。現在在的也可以故障後替換，沒關係的屆時突然成為一部分的自己。她覺得自己的組成沒有緊密的本質關係，恰巧湊一起罷了。
我不知道她這樣的感覺哪裡來，只覺得她越講越悲傷。雖然我腦袋不靈轉，但也還記得哲學討論中孟禎與我分享過的忒修斯之船。的確，人的細胞每分每秒都有部份死去，也有新生的來替代。人類其實也是種忒修斯之船，對像我這樣的無神論者而言，自我並沒有持續很久的存在。孟禎是厭惡這樣的感覺吧？還拿自己來改圖，有意思。
No way, this isn't a photo. The Photoshop job is incredibly well done, though; it looks super realistic.' That's what I said to Meng-Zhen. She gave me a slightly bitter smile. Meng-Zhen said she had felt it since she was little, that every part of her wasn't truly 'real.' The meaning this picture conveyed was that if she were a robot, seemingly a complete individual, her body was actually made up of detachable parts. The 'her' that existed now was temporarily whole, but looking at the spare limbs and the not-so-successfully developed parts, she understood that each of them could be considered 'herself.' The current 'her' could also be replaced after malfunctioning; it was okay for something to suddenly become a part of her at that time. She felt that her composition lacked a tight, essential connection; it was just a coincidence that everything was put together.
I didn't know where her feelings came from, but I just felt her becoming more and more sorrowful as she spoke. Although my mind wasn't the quickest, I still remembered Meng-Zhen sharing the Ship of Theseus thought experiment with me during our philosophy discussions. Indeed, human cells die off and are replaced by new ones every minute and every second. Humans are also a kind of Ship of Theseus. For an atheist like me, the 'self' doesn't have a very long-lasting existence. Meng-Zhen must despise this feeling, right? And she even used herself to create this manipulated image. Interesting.
我跟孟禎表達我的看法後，她笑著搖搖頭，趴在桌上看我。許久，她反問我，如果照片是真的呢？
我不知道怎麼回答她。的確，孟禎很與眾不同，深入相處後會有她彷彿是機器人的感受。比如說，她祈禱的時候，非常專注，從不求什麼好處，只祈求上帝保守她的心。當她全神投入時，整個人的氣氛會改變。怎麼說呢，就像上蒼降下了一條訊號線，接到孟禎的身體裡，從內部探索孟禎。如果有靈魂，她的靈魂就像巨大的軟體，被上蒼傳來的信號觸摸改變。孟禎說他自己內部的矛盾，往往在這樣的過程中被緩和，被撫平。這就是她的聖靈充滿，耶穌就是她最棒的程式維護工程師。
After I expressed my thoughts to Meng-Zhen, she smiled and shook her head, then leaned on the table to look at me. After a long while, she asked me in return, 'What if the photo is real?'
I didn't know how to answer her. Indeed, Meng-Zhen was very different. After getting to know her deeply, there were times when I felt like she was a robot. For example, when she prayed, she was incredibly focused, never asking for any personal gain, only praying for God to keep her heart. When she was completely immersed, her entire aura would change. How should I put it? It was like heaven sent down a signal line, connecting to Meng-Zhen's body, exploring her from within. If there was a soul, her soul was like a huge piece of software, being touched and changed by the signals coming from above. Meng-Zhen said that her internal contradictions were often eased and smoothed out during this process. This was her being filled with the Holy Spirit, and Jesus was her best software maintenance engineer.
該怎麼說呢...好吧，太神奇了。雖然聽起來很...奧妙，我陪在她身邊，多少也能感受。事實上，當她要我跟她一起為我祈禱的時候，我也體會到了那樣的氛圍。她溫柔地笑著，雙手交叉緊握，以滿溢關心的雙眼注視我，天使似乎都要飛到她身邊了。開始祈禱後，她一句我一句，不知不覺間根本就不信禱詞的我也被她影響，這或許是源自於她充滿真心的姿態和語聲。這就像從她的內在取出一條纜線，接到我身上，把她的體會直接傳達至我的靈魂。啊啊，我也要聖靈充滿了......
How should I put it... well, that's pretty amazing. Although it sounds very... profound, being by her side, I could sense it to some extent. In fact, when she asked me to pray with her for me, I also experienced that kind of atmosphere. She smiled gently, her hands clasped tightly together, her eyes filled with concern as she looked at me, as if angels were about to fly down beside her. After we started praying, one sentence from her, one from me, before I knew it, even someone who didn't believe in the words of prayer like me was influenced by her. Perhaps it stemmed from her truly sincere demeanor and voice. It was like taking a cable from within her and connecting it to me, directly transmitting her experience to my soul. Ahhh, I think I'm about to be filled with the Holy Spirit too...
哦哦哦，好危險！差點連我也變成基督徒...話說回來，真的有那條來自孟禎的纜線的話，我接過來的手不知能有多顫抖？如果我真的接到我身上，與孟禎融合又能帶來多麼奧秘的震撼？
孟禎還有一個像機器人的地方，就是她能「系統切換」。她是很虔誠的基督徒，但她也可以從反對教義的角度進行毫無顧忌的哲學、科學、歷史和神學討論。這很妙，我這不學無術的都知道基督教核心教義是因信稱義。上帝的教誨不僅完全無誤，而且完全道德。這意味著如果你把自己交給上帝，那對上帝教誨的質疑都得接受自我良心的譴責。孟禎深諳教義又信仰堅貞，她是怎麼做到的？當然她也不是隨時能如此，這就得靠她所謂的系統切換。
當孟禎在常態（教徒狀態）遇到與教義衝突卻又有興趣的議題時，切換大法就用得上啦。首先她會保持在鬆弛沉靜的狀態，眼神變得渙散。這時候如果有人有事找她，她的回應就很像AI，有思考有話語有動作，但是沒有自我。一段時間後，她系統切換成功，眼神變得閃亮，雀躍的找我談論那些議題。這時的她完全沒有教徒樣，就只是滿懷興趣的探索者，啥偽經啦，新舊約的矛盾啦，歷史事實與聖經記載的不符啦，東方不藉由上帝實踐的道德觀啦，全都聊好聊滿。把孟禎比喻成機器人的話，就像她把充滿理智和知識的頭取下交給我，然後把核心的信仰功能暫時「封住」，不讓其監控孟禎的其它系統。接著她的頭會很興奮地反過來，跟我一起檢視分析信仰的內容，就像在檢視分析她的內心。
Whoa, that was close! I almost became a Christian myself... Speaking of that cable from Meng-Zhen, how much would my hand tremble if I actually took it? And if it really connected to me, what kind of mysterious and earth-shattering fusion with Meng-Zhen would it bring?
Meng-Zhen has another robot-like trait: she can 'system switch.' She's a very devout Christian, yet she can also engage in unrestrained philosophical, scientific, historical, and theological discussions from the perspective of opposing doctrines. It's amazing. Even someone as ignorant as me knows that the core doctrine of Christianity is justification by faith. God's teachings are not only completely infallible but also perfectly moral. This implies that if you surrender yourself to God, any questioning of God's teachings should be condemned by your own conscience. Meng-Zhen knows the doctrines well and has a firm faith, so how does she do it? Of course, she can't do it all the time; that's where her so-called system switch comes in.
When Meng-Zhen in her normal state (believer mode) encounters an issue that conflicts with doctrine but interests her, her system switch technique comes in handy. First, she'll maintain a relaxed and calm state, and her eyes will become unfocused. At this time, if someone tries to talk to her, her responses are very AI-like – there's thought, speech, and action, but no 'self.' After a while, her system switch is successful, her eyes become bright, and she excitedly seeks me out to discuss those issues. At this point, she has no trace of her believer persona; she's just an explorer full of curiosity, chatting animatedly about everything – apocryphal texts, contradictions in the Old and New Testaments, discrepancies between historical facts and biblical accounts, Eastern moral concepts not practiced through God, you name it. If Meng-Zhen were a robot, it would be like she takes off her head filled with reason and knowledge and hands it to me, then temporarily 'seals off' her core faith function, preventing it from monitoring her other systems. Then, her 'head' would excitedly turn back and examine and analyze the content of her faith with me, just like examining and analyzing her own heart.
我把這譬喻告訴孟禎（切換過的），她有點驚訝，笑著說我快比她還了解她自己了。她還說這種時候她那顆頭本來就設定成是我的，知識和思考力都遵循我的期望而使用。噢買尬，孟禎的頭設定給我。黃同學，妳知不知道這句話對我的刺激有多大？還和我一起研究妳，分析妳咧，都快升天了我。
這樣的系統切換，效果也不很持久，對自己淘氣的調皮孟禎在她的自我持續運作（她的用語）中，因為系統彼此交互產生的頻繁調整，逐漸回到常態。變回乖乖牌的孟禎會因為自己方才的小小「叛逃」感到來自信仰之心的指責，她會祈禱並跟上主道歉，安撫自己的心。看著她舌頭稍微伸出，輕拍心窩並望向我的模樣，彷彿做了什麼壞事。哈哈，這也太妙。
I told Meng-Zhen (the switched version) about my metaphor, and she was a little surprised, laughing and saying that I almost understood her better than she understood herself. She even said that at those times, that 'head' of hers was originally set to be mine, and that her knowledge and thinking power were used according to my expectations. Oh my god, Meng-Zhen's head set to mine! Huang Tongxue, do you know how much that statement stimulated me? And to study you, analyze you together, I'm practically floating to heaven.
This kind of system switch doesn't last very long either. The mischievous, playful Meng-Zhen, in what she calls her 'self-sustaining operation,' gradually returns to her normal state due to the frequent adjustments generated by the interaction between the systems. The well-behaved Meng-Zhen would feel a sense of reproach from her faithful heart for her little 'defection' just now. She would pray and apologize to the Lord, comforting her own heart. Watching her slightly stick out her tongue, gently pat her chest, and look at me as if she had done something wrong, haha, it's just too adorable.
孟禎還提過，她接受基督信仰的過程也不怎麼順利。與其他人信教的過程不同，她是先考慮好信教對她內部運作的影響，才主動尋求的。本來以她的愛好和知識，根本無法接受基督信仰，為此她花了很大的力氣克服。信仰的是心，但說服心去信仰的，卻是很難接受信仰的腦。哇噻，如果這世界有奇葩選拔大賽，那黃同學妳一定是冠軍了，別客氣。她還說在受洗的那天，她內部運作異常達到最大，就像運行著充滿bug的程式。她系統的各個模組在交互中產生了各式各樣的謬誤，再次以機器人比喻的話，就是她的各部件亂裝一通，要動手結果動到腳。
Meng-Zhen also mentioned that her process of accepting Christianity wasn't very smooth either. Unlike other people's conversion experiences, she first carefully considered the impact of faith on her internal operations before actively seeking it. Originally, with her interests and knowledge, she couldn't accept Christian beliefs at all, and she spent a great deal of effort overcoming this. Faith belongs to the heart, but persuading the heart to believe was done by a brain that found it hard to accept faith. Wow, if there were a quirky talent competition in this world, Huang Tongxue, you would definitely be the champion, no need to be modest. She also said that on the day of her baptism, her internal operations reached their maximum abnormality, like running a program full of bugs. Various modules of her system generated all sorts of errors in their interactions. To use the robot analogy again, it was like all her parts were assembled haphazardly, and when she tried to move her hands, she ended up moving her feet.
聽她講聽到我目瞪口呆，我的孟禎特異程度遠超一般人。我把我想像的示意場景告訴她，她紅著臉禁止我再想下去（把屁股轉到前面，腳底向著臉的詭異畫面，的確女孩子不太能接受自己被想成這樣）。話說回來，她的腦竟然還能坑自己，把她的心推去改造，再回來管自己，讓腦不能再自由自在地翱翔於知識與思辨之海。我跟孟禎說出我的想法，她愣了一下，進行切換後才告訴我，接受基督信仰是全盤考慮後的結果。她明確知道自己受造（不是相信嗎？用詞一向精準的孟禎，卻在這裡用「知道」，還很篤定，難懂），需要有外在的託付，不然她會在對自己的無盡探索中，找不到出路。
日日與孟禎聊著她的獨特內在運作，我發現自己越來越著迷。之前還多少對她的信仰感到遺憾，現在簡直是不信不行。這麼神奇而變幻莫測的孟禎，她內在對我的吸引力，早已遠遠超越她美好的外表。我多麼希望自己就是能陪著她一直走下去的那位，多麼期盼不論是她的心或腦，都能與我有著最緊密的連繫。
I listened to her, completely dumbfounded. My Meng-Zhen's uniqueness far surpassed that of ordinary people. I described the illustrative scene I had imagined to her, and she blushed, forbidding me from thinking about it any further (the bizarre image of her turning her backside forward with her soles facing her face was indeed something a girl wouldn't easily accept being imagined as). But thinking about it, her brain could actually plot against itself, pushing her heart to be reformed and then coming back to govern itself, preventing the brain from freely soaring in the sea of knowledge and speculation. When I shared my thoughts with Meng-Zhen, she paused for a moment, then switched and told me that accepting Christianity was the result of thorough consideration. She clearly knew she was created (not believed? Meng-Zhen, who was always precise with her words, used 'knew' here, and with such certainty, it's hard to understand), and that she needed an external entity to entrust herself to; otherwise, she would get lost in the endless exploration of her own being, unable to find a way out.
Day after day, talking with Meng-Zhen about her unique internal workings, I found myself becoming more and more fascinated. Before, I had felt a bit of regret about her faith, but now it was almost impossible for me not to believe in something. This magical and unpredictable Meng-Zhen, the internal attraction she held for me, had long surpassed her beautiful appearance. How much I wished that I could be the one to walk alongside her forever, how much I longed for both her heart and her brain to have the closest connection with me.
終於，在某個陽光正好的午後，我鼓足了畢生最大的勇氣，向孟禎提出了約會邀請。我的聲音都在發抖，緊張兮兮地問她，願不願意跟我一起，去市中心的大飯店喝下午茶？
孟禎愣了一下，隨即露出了燦爛的笑容，點頭答應。喔喔喔！她竟然答應了！她還俏皮地說：「好啊，那可要好好打扮了！」真是…可愛到犯規！我的孟禎，妳信仰妳的上帝，但我信仰的，可是妳啊！OH MY GOODNESS >_<
到了約會當天，我提前半小時抵達飯店的咖啡廳，選了靠窗的位置，然後一直低著頭，心臟狂跳，手心冒汗，忐忑不安地等待我的女神降臨。
Finally, on a beautiful sunny afternoon, I mustered the greatest courage of my life and asked Meng-Zhen out on a date. My voice was trembling as I nervously asked her if she would be willing to go have afternoon tea with me at a grand hotel in the city center.
Meng-Zhen paused for a moment, then broke into a radiant smile and nodded in agreement. Oh oh oh! She actually said yes! She even said playfully, 'Okay, then you'd better dress up nicely!' Seriously... unbelievably cute! My Meng-Zhen, you believe in your God, but I believe in you! OH MY GOODNESS >_<
On the day of our date, I arrived at the hotel cafe half an hour early, chose a window seat, and then kept my head down, my heart pounding wildly, my palms sweating, anxiously waiting for my goddess to descend.
隨著一陣清脆的叩叩叩，高跟鞋敲擊地面的聲音由遠及近，一雙線條優美的長腿，映入了我的眼簾。是孟禎！她今天真的…好不一樣！精雕細琢的雙足被一雙款式秀氣的高跟鞋所包覆，些微露出的趾縫好似羞澀的花朵；身上穿著淡藍色的連身洋裝，剪裁很簡單，卻完美地襯托出她纖細的腰身，不停變動的諧調曲線一次次地擊中我的兩眼。洋裝的裙擺不長，大概在大腿的一半，隨著她的走動，隱約能看到裙襬下的…那抹若有似無的性感。輕抹臉上的淡妝，凸顯出她五官的清秀端正與青春活力；吹彈可破的肌膚，彷彿是精靈所幻化。
With a series of crisp tap-tap-tap sounds, the click of high heels on the floor grew closer, and a pair of beautifully shaped long legs entered my view. It was Meng-Zhen! She looked so... different today! Her exquisitely formed feet were encased in a pair of delicate high heels, the slight glimpse of her toes peeking out like shy blossoms. She wore a light blue one-piece dress, the cut of which was simple yet perfectly accentuated her slender waist, the constantly shifting harmonious curves striking my eyes again and again. The hem of the dress wasn't long, probably mid-thigh, and with her every step, I could faintly see the... that hint of elusive allure beneath the hem. The light touch of makeup on her face highlighted her delicate and refined features and youthful vitality; her skin, so smooth it seemed you could break it with a puff of air, was like that of an ethereal being.
太棒了！這個女孩，真的要跟我約會嗎？我簡直不敢相信這是真的！如果現在有人要我對著天空大叫三聲哈里路亞，我也絕對心甘情願！
然而，這場夢幻般的約會，卻有著出人意表的結果。
我們聊得很開心，環境的氣氛也很好，我鼓起勇氣，想請她一品這裡最有名的的超高級手沖咖啡（每杯三百元！還有服務費！）。孟禎平常幾乎不喝飲料，這次她稍顯猶豫，然後笑著接受了。不久後服務生優雅地遞上承裝在彩釉骨瓷杯子內的咖啡，複雜深奧的香氣在空間瀰漫，是連我這個大外行都能品味的美好。我開心地拿起杯子，故作優雅地啜飲，孟禎也開心地享受咖啡。然而，在她喝下幾口之後，臉色突然變得蒼白，表情僵硬起來。
This is amazing! Is this girl really going on a date with me? I can hardly believe it's real! If someone asked me to shout 'Hallelujah' three times to the sky right now, I would absolutely do it willingly!
However, this dreamlike date took a completely unexpected turn.
We were chatting happily, the atmosphere was wonderful, and I plucked up the courage to offer her the cafe's most famous ultra-premium pour-over coffee (Ten dollars a cup! Plus service charge!). Meng-Zhen rarely drank beverages, and this time she hesitated slightly before accepting with a smile. Soon after, the waiter elegantly presented the coffee in a glazed bone china cup, its complex and profound aroma filling the air – a beauty even a complete novice like me could appreciate. I happily picked up my cup, taking a deliberately elegant sip, and Meng-Zhen also enjoyed her coffee. However, after taking a few sips, her face suddenly turned pale, and her expression stiffened.
孟禎捂著胸口，看起來很不舒服，秀氣的眉頭也緊緊皺起。她帶著歉意輕聲說，跟她預想的不太一樣，她的身體似乎不太能接受咖啡。由於孟禎的身體一直不太好，有很多東西都不能消化吸收，或者對特定物質會有負面反應，所以平常她大多只吃自己特別準備的食物。
看孟禎難受的樣子，我心疼又自責，早知道就不該亂推薦了。她虛弱地癱軟在椅子上，靠著桌邊，輕聲告訴我別擔心，她已經通知了她爸爸，等一下會來接她。哪時候通知的，我怎麼都沒看到？
一陣子後，看起來有些嚴肅的中年男人快步走了進來。孟禎喊他「爸」。我一眼就認出來了——那不是黃士道博士嗎！？國內最有名的機械工程學專家！尤其在仿生機械和人工智能領域，黃博士根本是大神級的人物（我的超級偶像）；近年來更有傳聞，說他開發出了和真人真假難辨的高級仿生機器人！
Meng-Zhen clutched her chest, looking very uncomfortable, her delicate eyebrows furrowed tightly. She apologized softly, saying that it wasn't quite what she had expected, and that her body didn't seem to tolerate coffee very well. Because Meng-Zhen's health had never been great, there were many things she couldn't digest or absorb, or she would have adverse reactions to certain substances. That's why she usually only ate food she had specially prepared herself.
Seeing Meng-Zhen looking so unwell, my heart ached with distress and self-reproach. I shouldn't have recommended it without thinking. She weakly slumped back in her chair, leaning against the table, and softly told me not to worry, that she had already informed her father, and he would come to pick her up soon. When did she notify him? I didn't see her do anything!
After a while, a middle-aged man who looked somewhat stern strode in quickly. Meng-Zhen called him 'Dad.' I recognized him instantly – wasn't that Dr. Huang Shi-Dao?! The most famous mechanical engineering expert in the country! Especially in the fields of bionic mechanics and artificial intelligence, Dr. Huang was practically a god-like figure (my ultimate idol); in recent years, there had even been rumors that he had developed advanced bionic robots that were indistinguishable from real humans!
難怪啊，難怪孟禎雖然主修外文，但有時候聊天中發現她對機械結構、電子電路甚至程式設計的了解，都異常深入，原來都是家學淵源啊！有這麼厲害的老爸，無怪乎能養出如此聰明完美的寶貝女兒。我腦中甚至閃過一個念頭：如果…如果跟孟禎交往順利，說不定未來能娶到她，那我不就成為我偶像的女婿？
…咳，扯遠了。
我連忙上前，幫著黃博士把看起來非常虛弱的孟禎扶起來。欸，奇怪，她看起來那麼纖細，怎麼扶起來感覺還蠻重的？真是看不出來…
看著孟禎被黃博士扶上車，車子緩緩駛離，我心裡的不安卻像滴入水中的墨汁，逐漸擴散開。她看起來非常不舒服，雖然只是喝了杯咖啡，真的沒問題嗎？
No wonder, no wonder Meng-Zhen, despite majoring in Foreign Languages, sometimes revealed an unusually deep understanding of mechanical structures, electronic circuits, and even programming during our conversations. It all came from her family background! With such an amazing father, it was no wonder he could raise such a smart and perfect daughter. A thought even flashed through my mind: if... if my relationship with Meng-Zhen goes well, maybe I could marry her in the future, wouldn't I become my idol's son-in-law?
... Cough, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I quickly stepped forward, helping Dr. Huang support the seemingly very weak Meng-Zhen. Huh, that's strange, she looks so slender, but she felt quite heavy to lift? You really couldn't tell...
Watching Meng-Zhen being helped into the car by Dr. Huang and the car slowly driving away, the unease in my heart spread like ink droplets in water. She looked so uncomfortable. Even though it was just a cup of coffee, was she really going to be okay?
一股異樣感襲來，擔憂也越來越強烈，我跨上停在路邊的摩托車，遠遠地跟著他們。奇怪的是，黃博士並沒有把車開往任何一家醫院或診所，而是直接開回了他們家，位於市郊的獨棟住宅。他把車停進車庫後，半抱半扛地把孟禎帶進一間地下室。
有點奇怪。把摩托車停好，藉著庭院植栽的掩護，我悄悄地潛進去。從地下室半開的氣窗往裡窺視，裡面的景象讓我訝異不已。房間內擺滿了各式各樣的機械裝置、精密的電子儀器，以及散落一地的零件，甚至還有幾個像是人體模型但內部結構是金屬和線路的機械半成品。
黃博士的「怪博士」稱號，果然名不虛傳！那些關於他製造出高級機器人的傳聞，說不定是真的？哇，那我以後一定要找機會，拜託他教我怎麼做機器人了！
An odd feeling washed over me, and my worry grew stronger. I hopped onto my motorcycle parked by the roadside and followed them from a distance. Strangely, Dr. Huang didn't drive to any hospital or clinic but went straight back to their house, a detached residence in the suburbs. After parking the car in the garage, he half-carried, half-supported Meng-Zhen into a basement.
That's a bit strange. I parked my motorcycle and, using the cover of the garden plants, quietly sneaked in. Peeking through a half-open basement window, the scene inside astonished me. The room was filled with all sorts of mechanical devices, precision electronic instruments, and scattered parts all over the floor. There were even a few humanoid figures that looked like mannequins but had metal and wire internal structures – unfinished mechanical beings.
Dr. Huang's nickname, 'Mad Scientist,' was indeed well-deserved! Those rumors about him creating advanced robots might actually be true! Wow, I definitely have to find a chance in the future to beg him to teach me how to make robots!
我小心翼翼地靠近地下室的門。門沒有關緊，裡面傳來類似電動起子運轉的滋滋聲，以及黃博士的叨叨唸。他好像在抱怨孟禎，說什麼「就不該亂喝飲料」、「處理起來很麻煩」之類的話。聽到這裡，我心裡一陣愧疚：黃爸爸，您女兒喝的那杯咖啡，很抱歉，是我請的…
後來，我還隱約聽到他說，他得打開孟禎的身體，進行徹底的檢查清理。
打開身體？什麼意思？難道是要動手術嗎？不會吧，只是一杯咖啡而已，有這麼嚴重嗎？何況黃博士是頂尖的機械學家和 AI 專家，但不是外科醫生啊！我越來越搞不懂了。
過了好一陣子，地下室的門開了，黃博士一臉疲憊地走了出來，順手帶上門，徑直回主屋去了。
I cautiously approached the basement door. It wasn't closed tightly, and I could hear a buzzing sound like an electric screwdriver running, along with Dr. Huang's muttering. He seemed to be complaining about Meng-Zhen, saying things like 'shouldn't have drunk that random beverage' and 'it's so troublesome to deal with.' Hearing this, a wave of guilt washed over me: Dr. Huang, I'm so sorry, I was the one who offered your daughter that cup of coffee...
Later, I vaguely heard him say that he had to open Meng-Zhen's body for a thorough examination and cleaning.
Open her body? What does that mean? Was he going to perform surgery? That couldn't be right; it was just a cup of coffee, could it really be that serious? Besides, Dr. Huang was a top mechanical engineer and AI expert, not a surgeon! I was getting more and more confused.
After quite a while, the basement door opened, and Dr. Huang walked out looking exhausted. He closed the door behind him and went straight back into the main house.
心裡惦記著孟禎，我猶豫了一下，還是決定趁這個機會溜進去，看看她的情況。輕輕推開門，閃身進入。室內的燈光被調得很暗，只有各種儀器面板上閃爍的指示燈，和一些儀器裝置運作時發出的的滴滴答答聲。空氣中瀰漫著機油和金屬的氣味，配上那些奇形怪狀的機械和半成品，的確很有「怪博士的秘密實驗室」的味道。
但是，為什麼要帶孟禎來這裡？我困惑地想著，蹲低身姿，小心翼翼地往裡走，試圖尋找孟禎的身影。就在這時，頭上突然被什麼東西撞了一下…
「啊！」我驚慌地抬頭一看。咦？這是什麼？一條…一條穿著高跟鞋的腿！？正被一個懸吊在天花板軌道上的機械臂抓著，腳掌無力地垂落在我眼前。剛才我是起身時撞到鞋跟？
我揉著頭，仔細瞧了瞧那隻鞋，還有那條腿…等等！這高跟鞋，不就是孟禎今天穿的？那條腿…那條光滑細緻、線條優美的小腿…不就是…
天啊，這是我魂牽夢縈的那隻腿！？就這？根本就不是腿啊！是披了假皮的機械！彷彿是在嘲弄我，掛著檢修還穿著高跟鞋，要我好好欣賞。欣賞？欣賞個屁啊！
My heart heavy with concern for Meng-Zhen, I hesitated for a moment but ultimately decided to take this opportunity to sneak in and check on her. Gently pushing open the door, I slipped inside. The room's lights were dimmed, with only the blinking indicator lights on various instrument panels and the ticking sounds of operating devices illuminating the space. The air was thick with the smell of machine oil and metal, which, combined with the bizarre machinery and unfinished parts, definitely gave it a 'mad scientist's secret laboratory' vibe.
But why bring Meng-Zhen here? I wondered, crouching down and carefully moving further inside, trying to find Meng-Zhen. Just then, something suddenly bumped my head...
"Ouch!" I looked up in surprise. Huh? What's this? A... a leg wearing a high heel?! It was being held by a robotic arm suspended from a ceiling track, the foot limply dangling right in front of my eyes. Did I just hit my head on the heel when I stood up?
Rubbing my head, I took a closer look at the shoe and the leg... Wait a minute! This high heel, isn't it the one Meng-Zhen was wearing today? And that leg... that smooth, delicate, beautifully shaped calf... isn't that...
Heavens, is this the leg I've been dreaming about?! Just this? It's not even a real leg! It's a piece of machinery covered in artificial skin! It's as if it's mocking me, hanging there for maintenance while still wearing the high heel, telling me to take a good look. Admire? Admire my ass!
一股寒意瞬間從我的腳底竄上脊椎。我驚恐地環視四周…然後…
噢，不！天哪！
孟禎，我的孟禎。雖然已有預期，心臟還是像是被一隻冰冷的手狠狠攥住。我看到了難以想像而不願見到的景象...
孟禎的另一隻腳，孤零零地站在另一個角落，它的斷面處——是的，是斷面！——上方正有小型的機械手，伸進去進行著某種檢修作業...好驚悚，好突兀。
而她的軀體，竟然被懸掛在半空中，像工廠裡的待修設備！脖子的地方連接上了一些纜線和裝置，背部似乎被打開了，還伸出了一截像是金屬脊椎骨的結構。旁邊的大型螢幕上，顯示著孟禎被分離開來的各個肢體部位的圖示，伴隨著密密麻麻的數據和分析圖表。
A chill instantly shot up my spine from the soles of my feet. I looked around in terror... and then...
Oh, no! Dear God!
Meng-Zhen, my Meng-Zhen. Even though I had some inkling, my heart still felt like it was being clenched brutally by an icy hand. I saw scenes I couldn't have imagined and desperately didn't want to see...
Meng-Zhen's other leg stood forlornly in another corner, its severed end – yes, severed! – with small robotic arms reaching inside to perform some kind of maintenance... so horrifying, so surreal.
And her torso was actually suspended in mid-air, like a piece of equipment awaiting repair in a factory! Cables and devices were connected to her neck, and her back seemed to be opened up, revealing a section that looked like a metal spinal column. Next to it, a large screen displayed diagrams of Meng-Zhen's separated limbs, accompanied by dense data and analysis charts.
最後…最後，我看到了孟禎的頭…她的頭顱，被固定在一台看起來很複雜的檢修裝置上，臉上帶著無奈和鬱悶的表情，側著臉看著那隻被機械臂抓住的左腿…
我要瘋了…這一切都太瘋狂，太詭異，太可怕了……
原來傳聞都是真的！傳說中由黃士道博士創造出來的的高級仿生機器人，就是…就是我深深愛著的…黃孟禎！
孟禎…妳…妳要我怎麼接受這一切？
我的完美女孩…我心中有著無限美好的女神，其實只是一個偽造成人的物品？那麼，她的溫柔呢？她的聰明呢？她的善良呢？她的美麗大方呢？這一切…這一切根本都是假的！是人為設定的！是程式編寫出來的！是人工製造出來的！
Finally... finally, I saw Meng-Zhen's head... her head was fixed onto a complex-looking maintenance device, a look of resignation and melancholy on her face as she turned her head to look at that left leg gripped by the robotic arm...
I'm going crazy... This is all too insane, too bizarre, too terrifying...
So the rumors were true! The advanced bionic robot rumored to be created by Dr. Huang Shi-Dao is... is the Huang Meng-Zhen I deeply love!
Meng-Zhen... how... how am I supposed to accept all of this?
My perfect girl... the infinitely beautiful goddess in my heart, is actually just an artificially created object? Then, her gentleness? Her intelligence? Her kindness? Her beauty and grace? All of this... all of this is fundamentally fake! It's artificially set! It's programmed! It's manufactured!
孟禎…我的整顆心，早已深深地刻上了妳的名字，但妳…妳就只是一堆冰冷的金屬、塑膠和線路！一堆亂七八糟的零部件！
巨大的而難以形容的錯亂感像海嘯般席捲了我的腦袋，我的愛有了被現實背叛的感受。懷著這份翻江倒海的心情，繞到那個懸掛著的軀幹背後。看著我心愛的對象，就這樣被拆成一塊塊，被各種怪異的裝置各自檢修著，內心痛苦地翻騰不已。
我愛的…我愛的到底是什麼？是精心設計的幻象嗎？是完美到足以欺騙所有人的程式嗎？
可惡！我的心，我的感情，難道就這麼沒有價值嗎？它所交付的對象，就只是一坨高科技零件的組合物？
「孟禎……」
我聽到自己的聲音，乾澀地呼喚著那個名字，那個或許從一開始就是虛假的名字。我深吸一口氣，從陰影中走了出來，走到她的面前。我決定要面對這一切，我需要一個答案。
Meng-Zhen... my entire heart has already been deeply etched with your name, but you... you're just a pile of cold metal, plastic, and wires! A jumbled mess of components!
A massive and indescribable sense of disorientation washed over my mind like a tsunami, my love feeling utterly betrayed by reality. With this churning turmoil in my heart, I walked around to the back of the suspended torso. Watching my beloved being disassembled into pieces, each being inspected by various bizarre devices, my inner pain churned relentlessly.
What is it that I love...? Is it a meticulously designed illusion? Is it a program so perfect it could deceive everyone?
Damn it! My heart, my feelings, are they so worthless? Is the object of my devotion just a high-tech collection of parts?
"Meng-Zhen..."
I heard my own voice, dryly calling out that name, a name that perhaps was false from the very beginning. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the shadows, walking towards her. I decided to face all of this; I needed an answer.
孟禎顯然沒料到我會出現，那雙總是清澈明亮的眼睛瞬間睜得老大，充滿了驚慌和恐懼。懸垂著的左腳，甚至還如同她平常思考或緊張時那樣，輕輕地扭動腳掌。
呵…真是了不起的技術啊…就算被拆成這樣維修，她的一舉一動，仍然這麼像人類，這麼像我心中的女孩。
「志文…啊…」孟禎瞳孔放大，聲音帶著顫抖，似乎想說什麼，又不知道該說什麼。
Meng-Zhen clearly hadn't expected me to appear. Those always clear and bright eyes widened instantly, filled with panic and fear. Even her suspended left leg twitched its foot slightly, just like she always did when she was thinking or nervous.
Heh... truly remarkable technology... Even being disassembled for maintenance like this, her every movement is still so human-like, so much like the girl in my heart.
"Zhi-Wen... ah..." Meng-Zhen's pupils dilated, her voice trembling, as if she wanted to say something but didn't know where to begin.
我伸出手，輕輕地抓住了她那隻懸垂著的左腳腳踝。精巧的腳踝骨骼觸感和細緻得不可思議的皮膚質感，簡直與真人的肌膚一模一樣…然而，視線往上，看到大腿斷面上連接著的冰冷機器，又殘酷地提醒著我眼前的事實。
我走向她站著的另一腿和沒有頭的軀幹，看著它們，心中有說不出的苦楚。那隻腿上停留過多少我的目光？現在好像要有一把短劍，狠狠地插向它，消解我的尷尬。我愛的那顆心好像在掛著的軀幹哪裡？不要！那是假的！否定它！
啊啊，我怎能這樣想？這是我對待孟禎的方式嗎？我的愛有這麼廉價，隨隨便便就變質？就算...就算孟禎是假的（不該這麼說！），我的愛也是假的？煩惱，懊惱，苦惱，一堆亂七八糟的，從我頭上淋下。
I reached out and gently grasped the ankle of her suspended left leg. The delicate feel of the ankle bones and the unbelievably fine texture of the skin were virtually identical to that of a real human... However, as my gaze moved upwards, seeing the cold machinery connected at the thigh's severed end cruelly reminded me of the reality before my eyes.
I walked over to her other standing leg and the headless torso, looking at them with indescribable bitterness in my heart. How many times had my gaze lingered on that leg? Now, it felt like I wanted to plunge a dagger into it, just to dispel my awkwardness. Where was the heart I loved located in that hanging torso? No! That's fake! Deny it!
Ahhh, how could I think like this? Is this how I treat Meng-Zhen? Is my love so cheap that it can so easily deteriorate? Even if... even if Meng-Zhen is fake (I shouldn't say that!), is my love also fake? Worry, regret, distress, a whole mess of emotions poured down on me from above.
我看向孟禎，她低下頭，避開了我的目光，欲言又止，嘴唇微動，彷彿在等待著我接下來的話語。
是時候了，是該面對這一切的時候了。
我抬起頭，直視著她那顆被固定在儀器上的頭顱，用盡全身力氣，壓下心中的混亂與痛苦，一字一句地問道：
「黃孟禎…妳...妳到底是什麼？我的愛，又是什麼？我愛的...抱歉，算是人嗎？妳的心，是真的嗎？」
等著她的回答，心裡還是不知道該怎麼做。
I looked at Meng-Zhen. She lowered her head, avoiding my gaze, hesitant to speak, her lips slightly parted as if waiting for my next words.
It was time. It was time to face all of this.
I raised my head, looking directly into her head fixed on the device, using all my strength to suppress the chaos and pain in my heart, and asked, word by word:
"Huang Meng-Zhen... what... what exactly are you? And what is my love? The person I love... I'm sorry, are you even a person? Is your heart real?"
Waiting for her answer, I still had no idea what to do.
