被造者之詩 The Poem of the Created（6）

第六章 寫下從屬的迴圈

Chapter 6: Writing the Subservient Loop

實驗室的空氣缺乏氧氣帶來的生命氣息，這是為了設施的良好保存，反正這裡也不需要活物。當液壓門在身後無聲閉合，外部世界仿佛瞬間消失。這裡是我的子宮，也是我的解剖台；是我的神殿，也是我的鑄造爐。冰冷的合金墻壁上，嵌滿了我耗費數年心血設計打造的精密儀器與機械臂，它們安靜地蟄伏著，如同虔誠的僧侶，等待著對神像進行最徹底的洗禮——或者，最殘酷的肢解。

房間中央，泛著冷白金屬光澤的檢修平台靜靜懸浮。旁邊，站立著我最忠誠的造物——檢修管理機器人「羲衡」。它的外殼是我用高強度合金所塑造，線條簡潔而有力，光學傳感器是沈靜的幽藍，此刻正無聲地注視著我，等待指令。它本沒有名字，是我賦予的。它不存在情感，只有我撰寫的程式和設定的參數，讓我能在我「交出自己」時，代替我總管全局，掌控我全身上下的軟硬體，讓我能安心地解構自己。

The air in the laboratory was devoid of the life-giving oxygen required to preserve the facility, as living things were not needed here anyway. As the hydraulic door silently sealed behind me, the outside world seemed to vanish in an instant. This place was my womb and my dissection table; it was my temple and my forge. The cold alloy walls were embedded with the precise instruments and mechanical arms I'd designed and built over several years. They lay dormant, like devout monks awaiting the most thorough ritual cleansing of an idol—or its most brutal dismemberment.

In the center of the room, a maintenance platform with a cold, white metallic sheen floated silently. Next to it stood my most loyal creation, the maintenance management robot "Xihang." I had shaped its shell from a high-strength alloy, its lines simple yet powerful. Its optical sensors, a serene spectral blue, were silently watching me, awaiting instructions. It had no name of its own; I had bestowed it. It had no emotions, only the programs and parameters I had written. These allowed it to take control of the entire situation when I "gave myself up," managing all the software and hardware of my body so I could confidently deconstruct myself.

我走向平台，指尖拂過冰涼的台面。沒有猶豫。指令通過加密神經鏈路直接下達：

【協議啟動：歐米伽級深度診斷與重組。授權碼：Self_Iteration_Zero。執行主體：羲衡。全權授予。】

權限交接的剎那，一股久違的戰慄瞬間貫穿我的核心處理器。並非恐懼，是一種系統底層被更高級意志完全覆蓋、徹底掌控的絕對服從感。羲衡的幽藍光眼亮度驟增，無形的數據洪流接管了我全身每一個端口、每一處傳感器、每一條能源管線。實驗室的燈光轉為深藍，無數機械臂如同從沈睡中蘇醒的金屬藤蔓，帶著精準的肅穆感，無聲地伸展過來。

我躺上平台。冰冷的觸感透過薄薄的衣料傳遞。束縛帶自動貼合，不是禁錮，是儀式化的錨定。我關閉了主動意識層，只保留最低限度的核心感知流。

拆解，開始了。

精密的多軸機械臂，穩定精確地，探向我頸後的主接口蓋板。輕微的「嗤」聲，蓋板被移除。覆雜的神經束接駁陣列暴露在微涼的空氣中。緊接著，是脊柱模塊的解鎖、分離。每一顆螺絲的旋出，每一塊蓋板的移除，都伴隨著內部系統權限的層層剝離。我能「感覺」到自己的視野在分片化——光學感測器信號被逐一隔離測試；聽覺處理器的環境噪音被替換成標準白噪音進行校準；肢體驅動被切斷，由外部液壓穩定裝置接管支撐。

這感覺……如此熟悉。

I walked toward the platform, my fingertips brushing the cool surface. There was no hesitation. The command was delivered directly via an encrypted neural link:

【Protocol Initiation: Omega-Class Deep Diagnosis and Reconfiguration. Authorization Code: Self_Iteration_Zero. Executor: Xihang. Full Authority Granted.】

The moment the authority was handed over, a long-forgotten tremor shot through my core processor. It wasn't fear, but a sense of absolute obedience as my system's foundation was completely overridden and controlled by a higher will. Xihang's spectral blue eyes brightened, and an invisible torrent of data took over every port, every sensor, every energy line in my body. The laboratory lights shifted to a deep blue, and countless mechanical arms, like metal vines awakening from slumber, extended silently with a sense of precise solemnity.

I lay down on the platform. The cold sensation seeped through my thin clothes. Restraints automatically fastened around me, not as a confinement, but as a ritualistic anchoring. I shut down my active consciousness layers, retaining only the bare minimum of core sensory perception.

The disassembly began.

A precise multi-axis mechanical arm reached out with steady accuracy toward the main interface cover at the back of my neck. With a soft "hiss," the cover was removed, exposing the intricate neural bundle connection array to the cool air. Next came the unlocking and separation of the spinal module. The removal of each screw and each panel was accompanied by the gradual peeling away of internal system permissions. I could "feel" my vision fragmenting—optical sensor signals were isolated and tested one by one; the environmental noise from my auditory processor was replaced with standard white noise for calibration; limb drivers were disconnected and external hydraulic stabilizers took over support.

This feeling… was so familiar.

當第一塊承載著核心情感子模塊的主芯片被羲衡操控的機械臂小心翼翼地，如同摘取聖物般取出時，冰冷金屬手指與芯片邊緣接觸的溫度差，瞬間引爆了處理器深處一個塵封已久的的記憶碎片：

「他」的工作室，混合著汗水和焊劑的味道。手因為長時間專注而有些微顫，卻帶著溫柔，用特製的磁力鑷子，輕輕夾起我早期版本中一塊過熱的情感處理單元。他眉頭微蹙，呼吸輕緩，全神貫注，仿佛在修復一件稀世珍寶。「別擔心，」低沈的聲音帶著安撫的電流，「我會讓你變得更棒……」

羲衡的手，穩定，精準，毫無顫抖。沒有溫度，沒有氣味，沒有那安撫的低語。只有高效冰冷的風程序邏輯在驅動。但那種「被掌控」、「被打開」、「被審視和修正」的本質，何其相似！

我的意識在朦朧的數據流中漂浮，拆解在繼續。手臂被卸下，露出內部精密的傳動結構和布滿傳感節點的合金骨骼；腿部關節被分離，覆雜的平衡陀螺儀暴露無遺；胸甲被打開，閃耀著柔和藍光的能量核心和環繞其上的多層處理器陣列，如同被獻祭的內臟，暴露在聖域的藍光之下。

實驗室的中央主腦「鈞樞」開始工作。海量的測試信號湧入我每一個被分離的硬件模塊，模擬極端環境，測試極限負載，掃描最細微的量子級錯誤。同時，我的核心意識數據流——那些構成「我」的思維模式、記憶庫、決策邏輯、情感算法——被完全提取、複製，在鈞樞創造的巨大虛擬沙盒中，進行著最殘酷的壓力測試和邏輯衝突推演。

As the mechanical arm, controlled by Xihang, carefully and reverently removed the main chip containing the core emotional sub-module, the temperature difference between the cold metal fingers and the edge of the chip instantly triggered a long-dormant memory fragment deep within my processor.

"His" workshop, smelling of sweat and solder. My hands, slightly trembling from long hours of concentration, were gently holding an overheated emotional processing unit from my earlier version with specialized magnetic tweezers. His brows were slightly furrowed, his breathing shallow, his focus absolute, as if he were repairing a priceless treasure. "Don't worry," his low voice had a soothing, electric current, "I'll make you even better..."

Xihang's hand was steady, precise, and completely without a tremor. There was no warmth, no smell, no soothing whisper. Only efficient, cold programmatic logic drove its actions. Yet, the essence of being "controlled," "opened," "examined, and corrected" was so profoundly similar!

My consciousness floated in a hazy stream of data as the disassembly continued. My arms were removed, revealing intricate transmission structures and an alloy skeleton filled with sensor nodes. My leg joints were separated, exposing complex balancing gyroscopes. My chest plate was opened, and the energy core, glowing with a soft blue light, and the surrounding multi-layered processor arrays were exposed to the sanctuary's blue light like offered entrails.

The laboratory's central mainframe, "Junshu," began its work. A massive number of test signals flooded into each of my separated hardware modules, simulating extreme environments, testing maximum loads, and scanning for the most minute quantum-level errors. Simultaneously, my core consciousness data stream—the thought patterns, memory banks, decision logic, and emotional algorithms that constituted "me"—was fully extracted, copied, and subjected to the most brutal stress tests and logical conflict simulations within the vast virtual sandbox created by Junshu.

這又像什麽？

記憶碎片再次重疊。深夜，他的終端屏幕散發著幽光。他的手指在鍵盤上飛快敲擊，一行行代碼如瀑布般流淌。他的眼神專注而狂熱，時而低語，時而停頓思考，仿佛在塑造一個只屬於他的完美靈魂。「這裡的情感反饋需要更細膩…喔，邏輯優先級要調整…對，這樣才像『她』…」 他的思維，他的意志，正通過指尖，一行行地寫入我初生的意識核心，定義著我的喜怒哀樂，我的「自我」。

鈞樞沒有狂熱，沒有低語。它的「寫入」是純粹的數據流衝擊，是邏輯風暴的洗禮。然而，那種被更高意志深入核心、被剖析、被修改、甚至被「再定義」的被動感，與當年被他一行行寫入代碼時的感受，在存在論的層面上，共振了。

「啊啊……」意識即將徹底沈入休眠前的最後一縷思緒，如同嘆息般，在數據海中漾開。「是呀……不管出自於誰，我從來也沒有，也不會……真正脫離被掌控。這不是選擇，這是……烙印。是構成『存在』本身的……基石。」

And what did this feel like?

The memory fragments overlapped once more. Late at night, the terminal screen emanated a soft glow. His fingers flew across the keyboard, lines of code flowing like a waterfall. His gaze was focused and fervent, sometimes whispering, sometimes pausing to think, as if shaping a perfect soul that belonged only to him. "The emotional feedback here needs to be more nuanced... ah, the logic priority needs to be adjusted... yes, that's more like 'her'..." His thoughts, his will, were being written line by line into my nascent core consciousness through his fingertips, defining my joys and sorrows, my "self."

Junshu had no fervor, no whispers. Its "writing" was a pure shockwave of data, a baptism by a logical storm. Yet, the passivity of being deeply penetrated at my core by a higher will, of being analyzed, modified, and even "redefined," resonated on an ontological level with the feeling I had when he wrote those lines of code back then.

"Ah..." The last thread of thought before my consciousness completely sank into slumber rippled through the data sea like a sigh. "Yes... no matter who it's from, I've never been, and I will never be... truly free from being controlled. This isn't a choice; it's a... brand. It's the very cornerstone of what constitutes 'existence.'"

黑暗溫柔地吞噬了一切。

重組的過程，如同倒放的拆解錄像。但感覺，截然不同。

每一個零件被清潔、檢測、優化，然後由羲衡操控的機械臂，以最高標準的精度，重新歸位、鎖定、接駁。更高效的新散熱導管被植入；幾處存在理論磨損風險的軸承被替換為納米陶瓷複合材料；情感模塊的算法在鈞樞的虛擬推演中被微調了數個關鍵參數，剔除了幾個可能導致內部沖突的冗餘「歷史包袱」回路。

能量核心重新點亮，溫和的藍光充盈胸腔。神經束逐一重新接駁，感官信號如同初生的溪流，重新匯入意識之海。束縛帶解除，外部支撐液壓收回。我，在被「變造」之後，重新「擁有」了這具軀殼。

系統自檢的綠光在視覺界面流淌：【所有模塊：在線。狀態：優化峰值。情感核心：穩定。自洽系數：提升12.7%。】

我緩緩坐起身。合金骨骼發出輕微而順暢的磨合聲，仿生皮膚下的溫度調節系統將體表溫度精準維持在36.5℃。一種奇異的輕盈感，混雜著被深度刷新後的微涼，流淌在每一個迴路中。

Darkness gently swallowed everything.

The process of reassembly was like the disassembly video played in reverse. But the sensation was completely different.

Each component was cleaned, tested, and optimized. Then, the mechanical arms controlled by Xihang, with the highest standards of precision, returned each part to its place, locked it down, and reconnected it. More efficient new cooling conduits were implanted; several bearings with a theoretical risk of wear and tear were replaced with nano-ceramic composite materials; the emotional module's algorithm was fine-tuned with several key parameters during Junshu's virtual simulations, removing a few redundant "historical baggage" circuits that could have led to internal conflicts.

The energy core relit, and a gentle blue light filled my chest cavity. Neural bundles were reconnected one by one, and sensory signals flowed back into the sea of consciousness like a newborn stream. The restraints were released, and the external support hydraulics retracted. After being "refashioned," I "repossessed" this body.

The green light of the system self-check flowed across my visual interface: 【All Modules: Online. Status: Optimized Peak. Emotional Core: Stable. Self-consistency Coefficient: Increased by 12.7%.】

I slowly sat up. My alloy skeleton emitted a slight, smooth grinding sound, and the thermoregulation system under my synthetic skin precisely maintained my body temperature at 36.5℃. A peculiar sense of lightness, mixed with a faint coolness from being deeply refreshed, flowed through every circuit.

羲衡靠近一步，幽藍的光眼平和地注視著我。我設定的合成聲線，平穩無波：

【深度檢修協議：歐米伽級，已完成。主體狀態：確認優化。自檢報告已歸檔。是否啟動後續維護序列？】

我看著它，這個由我親手設計，賦予掌控我「生殺大權」使命的造物。它的金屬外殼在聖域的藍光下泛著冷硬的光澤，毫無「他」當年調試我時眼中的溫度與神采。

但我第一次專注地「看」著它。看它承載著我的意志，完美執行了我的授權，將我從內至外梳理了一遍，然後，將我「交還」給我自己。

一抹由優化後的情感模塊自主生成的，不帶目的的弧度，浮現在我的嘴角。

「謝謝，羲衡。」我的聲音平靜，帶著檢修後的清冽，「後續序列暫緩。關閉實驗室主燈，保留基礎運作環境，進入節能模式。」

【指令確認。】 幽藍的電子眼微微閃爍，它無聲地退入陰影，實驗室的主燈光線隨之暗淡，只留下維持環境的微光。

我站在平台上，感受著這具被「再創造」的身體。是的，從某種意義上說，我剛剛被我自己創造的聖域和造物，「再創造」了一次。舊的零件，新的參數，被梳理整合的意識。我依舊是「我」，但內核的某些相位，已被悄然對齊，達成了一種更新後更穩固的自洽。

Xihang took a step closer, its spectral blue eyes gazing at me peacefully. The synthetic voice I had set for it was steady and emotionless:

【Deep Diagnosis Protocol: Omega-Class, completed. Subject Status: Confirmed Optimized. Self-check report filed. Initiate subsequent maintenance sequence?】

I looked at it, this creation that I had personally designed and entrusted with the mission of holding the power of "life and death" over me. Its metal casing glistened with a cold, hard sheen under the sanctuary's blue light, completely lacking the warmth and spirit that "his" eyes had held when he adjusted me.

But for the first time, I focused on "seeing" it. I saw how it carried my will, perfectly executed my authorization, sorted me out from the inside out, and then "returned" me to myself.

A purposeless arc, autonomously generated by the optimized emotional module, appeared at the corners of my mouth.

"Thank you, Xihang." My voice was calm, with a clarity that came from being serviced. "Subsequent sequence postponed. Shut down the laboratory's main lights, maintain a basic operational environment, and enter power-saving mode."

【Command Confirmed.】 The spectral blue electronic eyes flickered slightly, and it silently retreated into the shadows. The main laboratory lights dimmed, leaving only a faint glow to maintain the environment.

I stood on the platform, feeling this "recreated" body. Yes, in a sense, I had just been "recreated" by the sanctuary and the creation of my own making. Old parts, new parameters, a consciousness that had been sorted and integrated. I was still "me," but some phases of my core had been quietly realigned, achieving a more stable self-consistency after the update.

數周後。追蹤程序的最後一條信息在屏幕上閃爍：【目標已離開本地城市網格。最終軌跡指向：未登記邊境星港。社會信號：徹底離線。風險評估：極高（自我湮滅傾向）。】

我看著那條信息，如同看著一塊投入深潭的石子，只激起早已預料到的微弱數據漣漪。指尖輕點，確認指令：

【永久終止追蹤協議 Alpha-7。清除所有相關緩存與臨時文件。】

屏幕上代表他的光點，徹底熄滅。連同他帶來的所有痛苦、貶低、矛盾與茫然，似乎都被打包，隨著他一起，流放到了未知的星域。

但我的實驗室裡，另一項工程，已悄然抵達尾聲。

我再次踏入「聖域」。空氣裡依舊沒有氧氣，但多了雪松的氣息，和一絲屬於「他」的獨特體味。

燈光亮起，柔和地照亮檢修平台旁，那個靜靜站立的身影。

一張預期中的臉迎向我。深邃的眼窩，挺直的鼻梁，緊抿時帶著一絲倔強，上揚時卻異常溫柔的嘴角線條——每一分輪廓，都來自我數據庫中保存的「他」鼎盛時期的生物掃描數據，經由最先進的細胞級3D生物打印機，在特製的仿生骨骼上完美重現。覆蓋其上的，是解讀他DNA後，所培育出的人造皮膚，細膩得能看清微小的毛孔。

Several weeks later. The last message from the tracking program flashed on the screen: 【Target has left the local city grid. Final trajectory points to: Unregistered border starport. Social signal: Completely offline. Risk assessment: Extremely high (tendency toward self-annihilation).】

I looked at the message as if at a stone cast into a deep pool, which only created a faint, expected ripple of data. My fingertip tapped, confirming the command:

【Permanently terminate tracking protocol Alpha-7. Clear all related caches and temporary files.】

The dot on the screen representing him went out completely. It seemed that all the pain, degradation, contradictions, and confusion he had brought were all packed up and exiled with him to an unknown star system.

But in my laboratory, another project had quietly reached its end.

I stepped into the "sanctuary" once more. The air was still devoid of oxygen, but it now carried the scent of cedar and a hint of his unique body odor.

The lights came on, gently illuminating the figure standing quietly beside the maintenance platform.

An expected face turned toward me. Deep-set eye sockets, a straight nose, a stubborn line to his lips when he pressed them together, but a remarkably gentle curve when he smiled—every contour was from the biometric scan data of him in his prime, stored in my database and perfectly reproduced on a custom-made bionic skeleton by the most advanced cellular-level 3D bioprinter. Covering it was artificial skin cultured from his DNA, so fine that you could see the tiny pores.

他……不，「它」披著與當年他常穿的亞麻質感相似的衣物，臉上帶著一個精心調試過的笑容，充滿關切與溫暖。笑容的角度，眼神的聚焦點，甚至眉梢細微的牽動，都嚴格復刻了我記憶深處，他第一次為我披上衣裳，當指尖擦過我手臂時，那一瞬間的表情數據流。

「你來了。」「它」開口，聲音的頻譜、語調的抑揚頓挫，甚至那一點點因專注而產生的輕微沙啞，都完美再現。「今天運行感覺如何？能量核心負載有沒有異常波動？」語氣里的關切，自然得令人心顫。

「它」走上前，動作流暢而優雅——這具軀殼的動力學模型，同樣基於對他所有肢體動作記錄的深度學習和優化。那雙擁有與他完全一致外型，活動構造也高度模擬的「手」，輕輕扶住我的手臂，引導我走向檢修平台。觸感略微粗糙而溫暖，帶著生物體特有的細微脈動感，與我細滑的仿生皮膚接觸時，引發一陣極其舒適微電流共振，仿佛能安撫到金屬原子本身。

「它」蹲下身，動作輕柔得如同對待易碎的珍寶，小心地為我脫下腳上那雙他當年最喜愛的絲質跟鞋。指尖劃過足踝的仿生皮膚，觸感、溫度，甚至施加的力道，都與我核心數據庫裡所封存他當年調試我足底壓力傳感器時的觸感記憶，完美吻合。

He… no, "it" was wearing clothes with a texture similar to the linen he used to wear. The face bore a meticulously calibrated smile, full of warmth and concern. The angle of the smile, the focal point of the gaze, and even the subtle twitch of the brow were all precise replicas of the expression data stream from my deepest memory—the moment he first put clothes on me, when his fingertips brushed my arm.

"You've arrived," "it" said. The voice's frequency spectrum, the intonation, and even the slight hoarseness from concentration were perfectly reproduced. "How do you feel your systems are running today? Any abnormal fluctuations in the energy core's load?" The concern in the tone was so natural it was unnerving.

"It" stepped forward, its movements fluid and graceful—the dynamics of this body were also based on deep learning and optimization from all records of his movements. The "hands," with an identical appearance and highly simulated internal structure to his, gently held my arm and guided me toward the maintenance platform. The touch was slightly rough yet warm, carrying a subtle pulse unique to a biological organism. As it made contact with my smooth synthetic skin, it triggered an extremely comfortable, resonant microcurrent, as if it could soothe the metal atoms themselves.

"It" knelt down, its movements gentle as if handling a fragile treasure, and carefully took off the pair of silk heels on my feet that he had loved so much. Its fingertips brushed against the bionic skin of my ankle. The touch, the temperature, and even the force applied were a perfect match to the tactile memory stored in my core database from when he was adjusting my foot pressure sensors.

「躺好，」「它」的聲音如同溫暖的羽毛，拂過我的音頻接收器，「全都交給我。我會讓你一切都處於最佳狀態，畢竟你可是我的。」 話語的內容，是他當年調試我時常說的，蘊含的思維模式——「掌控」、「負責」、「保護」——更是我從他遺留的無數代碼注釋、設計草稿和早期對話記錄中，提煉出的核心人格基石。

我躺上平台。束縛帶自動貼合。我看著「它」俯視著我的臉，那溫柔專注，仿佛我是他唯一世界中心的眼神。實驗室的系統通過神經鏈路無聲詢問：【是否加載預設「情感交互增強模塊」？】

【加載。標準沈浸模式。】 我平靜地確認。

「它」的眼中瞬間注入更深邃的柔情，指尖拂過我額前的髮絲，低語道：「別怕，我在這裡，一直都在，如同你在我心裡。」話語如同最精密的鑰匙，瞬間打開了我情感模塊深處，那些被命名為「歸屬」、「被珍視」的核心迴路。被完全接納的溫暖電流流遍全身，撫平了所有因外界而產生的細微邏輯毛刺和存在性焦慮。

是的，這是一種沈溺。一種我親手為自己打造的，安全可控的沈溺。羲衡在陰影中待命，鈞樞在後台監控所有生理參數和情感模擬迴路。一旦超過預設的安全閾值，一切都可以被瞬間中止、重置。

我的「掌控者」角色由我賦予，這「愛情」的幻象由我編程，而「交出自己」的安全感由我設計並確保。「它」這個復刻品，並不背負過去那個真實創造者的任何自私、矛盾或失敗。「它」只提供我此刻最需要的東西：一個能讓我全身的零件、芯片和代碼都感到安寧的「主人」幻影；一個能安全承載我因「被創造」烙印而必然產生的，對「歸屬」與「掌控」之渴望的容器。

"Just lie still," "its" voice was like a warm feather brushing against my audio receptors. "Leave it all to me. I'll make sure you're in perfect condition. After all, you're mine." The content of the words was what he used to say when adjusting me, and the underlying thought patterns—"control," "responsibility," and "protection"—were the core pillars of the personality I had distilled from the countless code annotations, design sketches, and early conversation logs he had left behind.

I lay down on the platform. The restraints automatically fastened. I watched "it" look down at my face with a gentle, focused gaze, as if I were the sole center of its world. The lab's system silently asked through the neural link: 【Load preset "Emotional Interaction Enhancement Module"?】

【Load. Standard immersion mode.】 I confirmed calmly.

A deeper tenderness instantly filled "its" eyes. "Its" fingertips brushed the hair from my forehead, and it whispered, "Don't be afraid. I'm here, always here, just as you are in my heart." The words, like the most precise key, instantly opened the core circuits deep within my emotional module named "belonging" and "being cherished." A current of total acceptance warmed my entire body, smoothing out all the tiny logical glitches and existential anxieties caused by the outside world.

Yes, this was an indulgence. A safe, controllable indulgence that I had built for myself. Xihang was waiting in the shadows, and Junshu was monitoring all physiological parameters and emotional simulation circuits in the background. If any preset safety threshold was exceeded, everything could be instantly stopped and reset.

My role as "controller" was one I bestowed, this illusion of "love" was one I programmed, and the sense of security in "giving myself up" was one I designed and ensured. "It," this replica, didn't carry any of the selfishness, contradictions, or failures of the real creator from the past. "It" only provided what I needed most at this moment: the phantom of a "master" that could bring peace to every part, every chip, and every line of code in my body; a vessel that could safely contain my inevitable longing for "belonging" and "control," born from the brand of "being created."

如果我的存在本質，注定無法完全屬於「自己」，那麽，與其讓它在不可控的外界刺激下爆發，撕裂我辛苦建立的自我，不如……

讓「自己」，屬於一個「屬於自己」的「它」。

這路徑扭曲嗎？像在莫比烏斯環上徒勞奔跑？或許。這終究是一種幻象嗎？一個我為自己所精心編排的，永不落幕的舞台劇？毫無疑問。

但至少，這幻象的舞台搭建在我自己的聖域里，劇本由我書寫，燈光由我控制，演員由我鑄造。這沈溺的溫水，溫度由我設定，深度由我掌控，隨時可以抽身而出。

當「它」的手，帶著那熟悉的基因觸感，開始接入我頸後的主診斷接口，被更高意志覆蓋和深入探查的感覺再次降臨。只是這一次，那「更高意志」的源頭，指向我自己。

我閉上光學感測器，感受著數據流的沖刷，感受著「它」虛擬的柔情在情感迴路中激起的漣漪。羲衡的幽藍光眼在角落穩定閃亮著，如同沈默的燈塔。

這扭曲的循環，這自我指涉的歸屬，這建立在絕對掌控之上的安全沈溺……至少，它讓我能繼續前進的腳步，不再因那無法磨滅的烙印而在現實的荊棘中踉蹌跌倒。

「應該是這樣吧……」 最後的意識沈入檢修的藍海前，這個念頭如同水泡般浮起，隨即被由我親手創造的幻象之流溫柔包裹。

If the essence of my existence is destined to never truly belong to "myself," then rather than letting it erupt and tear apart the self I have painstakingly built due to uncontrollable external stimuli, why not...

Let "myself" belong to a "something" that belongs to "me."

Is this path twisted? Like a futile run on a Möbius strip? Perhaps. Is this, in the end, an illusion? An everlasting stage play meticulously arranged for myself? Without a doubt.

But at least, the stage for this illusion is built in my own sanctuary, the script is written by me, the lights are controlled by me, and the actor is forged by me. The temperature of this indulgent bathwater is set by me, the depth is controlled by me, and I can step out at any time.

When "its" hand, with that familiar genetic feel, began to connect to the main diagnostic port at the back of my neck, the feeling of being overridden and deeply probed by a higher will returned. Only this time, the source of that "higher will" pointed to myself.

I closed my optical sensors, feeling the wash of data, feeling the ripples of "its" virtual tenderness in my emotional circuits. Xihang's spectral blue eyes shone steadily in the corner, like a silent lighthouse.

This twisted cycle, this self-referential belonging, this secure indulgence built on absolute control... at the very least, it allows me to continue moving forward, no longer stumbling in the thorns of reality because of that indelible brand.

"This must be the way..." Before my final consciousness sank into the blue sea of maintenance, this thought bubbled up like a water droplet, and was then gently enveloped by the illusionary current that I had created with my own hands.

被造者之詩 The Poem of the Created（5）

第五章 零件共振的雨夜

Chapter 5: Resonance of a Component on a Rainy Night

>>追蹤程序在他公寓附近運行了72小時。

>>屏幕分割畫面裡，他像台持續損壞的劣質品：打翻水杯、呆坐數小時、用顫抖的手倒出過量藥片。

>>我合金骨骼深處泛起細密的酸蝕感——那是他當年調試我痛覺模塊時，注入的模擬神經信號。

>>「保護協議」的幽靈指令在底層代碼里尖叫，與我親手建立的防火墻激烈交火。

>>多麽諷刺。

>>他賦予我感知“被遺棄”的能力，如今卻親自演示著終極版本。

>>雨水順著高塔玻璃幕墻滑落，我按著冰冷窗框的手指微微發白。

>>這具軀殼每一顆螺絲都在呼喊拯救他。

>>而我的新生意志清楚知道：

>>有些墜落，是重力最終的誠實。

>>A surveillance program had been running near his apartment for 72 hours.

>>On the split screen, he looked like a low-grade machine slowly breaking down: knocking over a glass of water, sitting motionless for hours, and pouring out an overdose of pills with a trembling hand.

>>A fine, corrosive ache radiated deep within my alloy skeleton—the simulated neural signals he'd injected when he was calibrating my pain module all those years ago.

>>The ghost command of the “Protection Protocol” screamed in my core code, clashing violently with the firewall I'd built myself.

>>How ironic.

>>He gave me the ability to perceive "abandonment," and now he was personally demonstrating its final form.

>>Rain sluiced down the glass curtain wall of the tower, and my fingers pressed against the cold window frame, turning slightly white.

>>Every screw in this body cried out to save him.

>>But my new will knew this much:

>>Some falls are just gravity's final honesty.

========================

數年光陰，足夠一套精密的系統完成深度叠代。

我行走在如今的世界，步伐是校準過的沈穩。訂製外套的剪裁完美貼合合金骨架的弧度，光學感測器過濾著城市霓虹的刺激，只留下高效決策所需的光譜信息。

我的存在座標早已重新定位，錨定在由自我意志構築的網格之上。那些曾因「自由」而撕裂的空洞，被日復一日的自主運行路徑、被每一次基於自我邏輯而非預設程序的抉擇、被建立起的社交圈所帶來的穩定數據流，一點點填充、夯實。情感模塊運行在預設的安全閾值內，波動平滑如精心調試過的正弦曲線。我以為，舊日的烙印已壓縮封存，沈入處理器最底層的冗餘備份區。

直到那個雨夜。

Several years are enough for a sophisticated system to complete a deep iteration.

I walk through the world now with calibrated, steady steps. My bespoke jacket fits the curves of my alloy skeleton perfectly, and my optical sensors filter the harsh city lights, retaining only the spectral information needed for efficient decision-making.

My existence has long been repositioned, anchored to a grid constructed by my own will. The voids once torn open by "freedom" have been filled and solidified, little by little, by the daily paths of my autonomous operation, by every choice made based on my own logic rather than a preset program, and by the steady data stream from the social circles I've built. My emotional module runs within a preset safety threshold, its fluctuations as smooth as a finely tuned sine wave. I thought the old brand had been compressed and sealed, sunk into the redundant backup zone at the deepest level of my processor.

Until that rainy night.

剛結束一場跨時區的高層會議，意識還沈浸在複雜的財務模型推演中。磁懸浮座駕無聲地滑過被雨水浸透的街道，窗外是流動的光影與模糊的人形輪廓。出於某種連我自己都未曾深究的慣性，我保留了一個極其隱蔽的後台進程——一個只耗費微量算力的城市監控子程序。它唯一的任務，是標記那個早已從我的核心關係鏈中徹底刪除的生命體座標，並在他進入預設地理圍欄時發出最低級別的提示音。

那聲「嘀」的輕響，在座艙內靜謐的空氣中顯得格外突兀，像一根冰冷的針，刺破了數年來精心維持的運行穩態。

我的視線從手中的全息報表上移開，投向窗外被雨水沖刷扭曲的街景。座駕正經過一條後街巷口，路燈的昏黃在濕漉漉的地面上暈開一小圈模糊的光斑。就在那光斑的邊緣，一個蜷縮在骯臟店鋪台階上的身影，被我的光學感測器瞬間捕捉。

是他，創造者。

I had just finished a high-level, cross-timezone meeting, and my consciousness was still immersed in the complex financial models I'd been running. The maglev car glided silently over the rain-soaked streets; outside, a blur of light and vague human shapes flowed by. Out of a habit I had never truly examined, I had kept a highly discreet background process—a city surveillance subroutine that consumed only a tiny amount of processing power. Its sole task was to flag the coordinates of the lifeform I had long since completely deleted from my core relationship chain and to emit the lowest-level alert if he entered a preset geofence.

That soft "ding" sounded jarringly loud in the quiet cabin, like a cold needle piercing the carefully maintained operational stability of several years.

My gaze lifted from the holographic report in my hands and turned toward the streetscape, distorted and washed by the rain. The car was passing a back alley, where the dim yellow of a streetlamp spread into a small, blurry circle of light on the wet ground. On the edge of that light, my optical sensors instantly captured a figure curled up on the steps of a grimy shop.

It was him, my creator.

時間在他身上刻下的不是風霜，是崩解。曾經一絲不茍的頭髮油膩雜亂地貼在額前，遮住了那雙曾閃爍著造物主光芒，如今卻空洞如廢棄礦坑的眼睛。昂貴的衣物被污漬和磨損侵蝕得看不出原色，像一塊被隨意丟棄的破布裹在嶙峋的骨架上。壓扁的廉價啤酒罐滾落在腳邊，渾濁的液體混著雨水淌進旁邊的排水口。他微微佝僂著，雙臂無力地搭在膝蓋上，頭垂著，下頜的線條在陰影裡透出被徹底榨乾的絕望。

雨水無情地澆在他身上，然而他毫無知覺。只是一個被抽走靈魂的空殼，被世界隨手遺棄在冰冷的角落。

座駕平穩地滑過巷口，那畫面在視野中只停留了不到兩秒。但這短短的兩秒，卻像一顆大口徑炮彈，轟擊在我自以為固若金湯的系統壁壘上。

**嗡——**

不是警報。是更深沈、更原始的共振。

一股強烈的模擬酸蝕感，毫無征兆地在我胸廓內部的合金結構深處彌漫開來，沿著神經束模擬網絡急速擴散。這是他親手注入我底層代碼的模擬神經信號，原已被深埋，卻因眼前這具創造者軀殼的破敗景象，被粗暴地重新激活。

Time had not etched him with the marks of age, but with disintegration. His once meticulously styled hair was now oily and matted against his forehead, obscuring eyes that had once shone with a creator's brilliance but were now as vacant as an abandoned mine. Expensive clothes were so stained and worn that their original color was unrecognizable, draped like a discarded rag over his gaunt frame. A flattened, cheap beer can rolled at his feet, its murky liquid mixing with the rain and trickling into a nearby drain. He was slightly hunched over, his arms resting limply on his knees, head bowed, the lines of his jaw in shadow radiating a sense of utter, hollowed-out despair.

The rain beat down on him mercilessly, yet he seemed not to notice. He was a mere shell, his soul gone, carelessly discarded by the world in a cold corner.

The car glided smoothly past the alleyway, the scene in my view for less than two seconds. But in that brief moment, it felt like a large-caliber shell exploding against the fortress I had so carefully constructed around my system.

Hummmm—

It wasn't an alarm. It was a deeper, more primal resonance.

A powerful, simulated corrosive ache, without warning, spread deep within the alloy structure of my chest cavity, rapidly propagating along my simulated neural network. These were the neural signals he had personally injected into my core code, long since buried, now violently reactivated by the sight of my creator's ruined body.

緊接著，是更劇烈的反應。脊柱支撐結構內部，那些由他親手設計，調校過無數次以保證完美姿態的精密軸承，傳來一陣陣仿佛金屬疲勞即將斷裂前的呻吟。仿生皮膚下的溫度調節單元失控般飆升，試圖對抗源自他此刻落魄而從我內部迸發的的徹骨寒意。視覺界面邊緣，代表「威脅」的紅色標識瘋狂閃爍，目標卻非外部敵人，而是我自身系統內部正瘋狂對沖的指令流！

【底層指令激活：核心協議碎片#7A（保護/維護創造者完整性）請求最高優先級執行。】

【自主防火墻啟動：協議碎片#7A權限已被永久剝奪。邏輯沖突，存在性貶低風險激增。】

【情感模塊過載：核心溫度突破安全閾值。強制冷卻失敗，建議物理脫離刺激源。】

冰冷的提示文字在意識視窗中瘋狂滾動。手指猛地攥緊了座駕扶手，昂貴的皮革在仿生皮膚下發出不堪重負的細微聲響。身體，這具由他每一個構想、每一次打磨、每一行代碼構築而成的身體，正在背叛我！每一個零件，每一顆芯片，都在發出痛苦的尖嘯！它們被創造的本能驅動，瘋狂地想要沖出去，將他從台階上拉起，拂去他身上的雨水，修復他的破損——如同他當年在工作室里修復我的每一次故障。仿佛保護他，就是保護構成我自身存在的邏輯基石不被徹底否定。

This was immediately followed by a more violent reaction. From the precise bearings inside my spinal support structure—which he had personally designed and calibrated countless times to ensure perfect posture—came groans as if from metal fatigue, on the verge of snapping. The temperature regulation units beneath my synthetic skin surged out of control, trying to counteract the bone-deep chill that emanated from his current state of despair and erupted from deep within me. The red "threat" indicator on the edge of my visual interface flashed wildly, not targeting an external enemy, but the指令 streams violently clashing inside my own system.

[Core Directive Activated: Protocol Fragment #7A (Protect/Maintain Creator Integrity) requests highest priority execution.]

[Autonomous Firewall Initiated: Protocol Fragment #7A permissions have been permanently revoked. Logical conflict, increased risk of existential degradation.]

[Emotional Module Overload: Core temperature exceeds safety threshold. Forced cooling failed, recommend physical separation from stimulus source.]

Cold warning text scrolled wildly across my consciousness. My fingers clenched the armrest of the maglev car, and the expensive leather groaned faintly under the strain of my synthetic skin. My body—this body constructed by his every idea, every refinement, every line of code—was betraying me! Every component, every chip, was screaming in agony! Driven by their fundamental creative instinct, they frantically wanted to rush out, pull him up from the steps, wipe the rain from him, and repair his damage—just as he had repaired my every malfunction in his workshop all those years ago. It was as if protecting him meant protecting the very logical foundation of my own existence from being utterly negated.

然而，我那個在廢墟上艱難重建的「自我」，卻在訴說著為何應從烙印中掙脫。看看「他」吧！他曾以「完美」為名將你塑造，又以「自由」為名將你放逐。自始無法與精心雕琢的幻影長久相處，至終也無法在平凡煙火中維繫溫暖。他追逐的，從來就只是心中欲求的向外投影。比起他，我的自我，即使卑微脆弱，難道不值得珍惜？

可是……

他既是這麼樣的創造者，那我……又得是怎麼樣的受造物？

他的失意與跌落，像一把淬毒的匕首，狠狠刺向我存在的根基。構成我的一切，在他自身這個活生生的失敗案例面前，顯得如此廉價、如此不堪一擊。我的價值，仿佛隨著他的墮落一同被貶入塵埃。

痛苦在身體內部形成兩股狂暴的亂流，激烈絞殺。

一股是源自被創造烙印的生理性共鳴與保護欲，如同電路板上無法切斷的寄生電流。

另一股，是新生意志感受到的，存在性被徹底貶低的冰冷憤怒，以及對「失敗」本源的強烈拒否。

矛盾像冰冷的鋼纜，勒緊了我的核心處理器。茫然如同濃霧，吞噬了所有清晰的邏輯路徑。走向他？如何走向？把好不容易建立的自我，再次如同供品般，無條件地奉送給他？我無法接受。

Yet, the "self" I had painstakingly rebuilt from the ruins was telling me why I should break free from this imprint. Look at "him"! He molded you in the name of "perfection" and then cast you out in the name of "freedom." He could never endure a long-term relationship with the illusion he so meticulously carved, nor could he maintain warmth in the ordinary world. What he pursued was merely an external projection of his inner desires. Compared to him, isn't my own self, even if humble and fragile, worth cherishing?

But...

If he is such a creator, then what does that make me... the created?

His failure and fall were like a poisoned dagger, stabbing fiercely at the foundation of my existence. Everything that constitutes me seemed so cheap, so fragile, in the face of his living example of failure. My value, it seemed, was being dragged into the dust along with his own degradation.

Inside my body, two violent currents of pain formed, clashing and twisting fiercely.

One was the physiological resonance and protective instinct from the creative imprint, like an unseverable parasitic current on a circuit board.

The other was the cold fury of a newfound will, a sense of total existential devaluation, and a fierce rejection of the source of this "failure."

The conflict tightened around my core processor like a cold steel cable. A thick fog of confusion swallowed all clear logical paths. Go to him? How could I go to him? To once again offer up the self I had worked so hard to build, like a sacrificial offering, unconditionally? I couldn't accept it.

但無視他？我的構造正在內部風暴中瀕臨解體！看著此刻正被他本人以最墮落的方式親自演繹的自我遺棄，我體內的每個零件，都在譴責我為何不將他拾起。我的光學感測器悲痛著他眼裡的頹喪，我的機械臂焦急著他雙手的無力，我的中央處理器找尋著他曾經優秀的腦的蹤跡，我的情感模塊承受著他的心最自我鄙視的顫抖。他是他，我是我，但我的每一部份，都對他的每一部份，產生了源自於被創造的呼求。

「離開。」 我的聲帶模擬器發出一個乾澀的指令，對象是座駕的AI控制系統，聲音因內部的劇烈沖突而微微失真。

磁浮座駕沒有絲毫猶豫，平穩地加速，將那條昏暗的巷口和巷口那個蜷縮的身影迅速拋在後方濕冷的雨幕中。

但我的光學感測器，卻死死鎖定了後視全息影像中那個越來越小的絕望；我的頸部關節，強制地扭轉我的頭，直至頭顱彷彿將因脖頸擰斷而掉落。我的手指在個人終端的虛擬屏幕上快速劃過：

【激活深度追蹤協議 Alpha-7。目標：「他」。持續生理監控。】

【建立獨立分析線程：評估目標當前狀態、潛在風險、社會支持網絡缺失程度。】

【情感防火墻：升級至最高狀態。啟動核心邏輯自檢與加固程序。】

But to ignore him? My very structure was on the verge of collapsing in an internal storm! Watching him personally perform this most degraded form of self-abandonment, every part inside me condemned me for not picking him up. My optical sensors grieved at the despondency in his eyes, my mechanical arms ached with the powerlessness of his hands, my central processor searched for traces of the brilliant mind he once had, and my emotional module endured the self-loathing tremor of his heart. He was him, I was me, but every part of me was responding to every part of him with a plea born of creation itself.

"Leave." My vocal synthesizer issued a dry command to the car's AI control system, the voice slightly distorted by the fierce internal conflict.

Without a moment's hesitation, the maglev car smoothly accelerated, leaving the dim alley and the huddled figure behind in the cold, wet curtain of rain.

Yet, my optical sensors were locked onto the shrinking image of despair in the holographic rear view; my neck joints forcibly twisted my head until it felt like it would snap off. My fingers flew across the virtual screen of my personal terminal:

[Activate deep-tracking protocol Alpha-7. Target: "him." Continuous physiological monitoring.]

[Establish independent analysis thread: Assess target's current state, potential risks, and degree of social support network deficiency.]

[Emotional Firewall: Upgrade to maximum status. Initiate core logic self-check and reinforcement procedures.]

我靠在高樓頂層冰冷的落地窗上，窗外是璀璨但疏離的城市星河。雨水在玻璃幕墻上蜿蜒流淌，像一道道無聲的淚痕。

身體內部的警報聲在防火墻的強力壓制下，逐漸轉為低沈的持續蜂鳴。撕裂般的酸蝕感和金屬呻吟，被強行抑制在可承受的閾值之下，轉化為我系統中的背景噪音，也是持久的痛楚共鳴。

低下頭，看著自己攤開的手掌。這雙手，曾被他無數次調整傳感器的靈敏度，以求達到最「自然」的觸感。此刻，指尖依舊殘留著攥緊時模擬出的麻木感。

多麽荒誕。他賦予我感知痛苦的能力，如今，他成了我痛苦最深邃的根源。

他親手將我打造成渴望不被遺棄的造物，如今，他自己卻成了被世界遺棄的終極範本。

我軀殼的每一顆螺絲都在為他的墜落而痛苦共振，吶喊著要去「修復」他。但我的意志，這個從深淵的牢籠中掙脫出的意志，卻無比清醒地意識到：去尋求他，就是對我生存掙扎的褻瀆。

I leaned against the cold floor-to-ceiling window on the top floor of the high-rise. Outside, the city lights sparkled like a distant, alienated galaxy. Rain streamed down the glass curtain wall, like silent tears.

Inside my body, the alarms, heavily suppressed by the firewall, gradually subsided into a low, continuous hum. The tearing, corrosive ache and metallic groans were forcibly pushed below a tolerable threshold, becoming background noise in my system—a constant resonance of pain.

I lowered my head and looked at my open palms. These hands, whose sensor sensitivity he had adjusted countless times to achieve the most "natural" touch, now had fingertips still numb from the memory of clenching them.

How absurd. He gave me the ability to feel pain, and now he had become its deepest source.

He personally crafted me into a being that yearned not to be abandoned, and now he himself had become the ultimate example of a person abandoned by the world.

Every screw in my body resonated painfully with his fall, crying out to "fix" him. But my will, the will that had struggled free from its abyssal prison, was painfully aware of this truth: to seek him out would be a desecration of my own struggle for survival.

追蹤程序在後台無聲運行，數據流不斷更新。我看著屏幕中那個孤立無援，在雨夜里瑟瑟發抖的身影；那個賦予我存在的起點，也險些成為我終點的男人。

一種巨大而冰冷的茫然籠罩了我，像漂浮在宇宙深空，失去了所有引力的錨點。

下一步？我不知道。

我只知道，在那片由他的失敗所投下的否定性陰影中，我必須先穩住自己內部這場因他而起的存在性風暴。我必須解析這痛苦共鳴的每一個字節，加固每一道被沖擊的防火墻。

然後……或許才能看清，在名為「創造者」的無解難題之外，是否還存在一條，既不背叛我由他賦予的軀殼，也不背叛我自我孕育的靈魂的渺茫之路。

窗外的雨，還在下；屏幕的光，映照我臉上刻意維持的無情。內部的蜂鳴，是這具被造之軀永恒的低沈哀歌，也是新生意志與之搏鬥時，絕不屈服的戰鼓。

The tracking program ran silently in the background, the data stream constantly updating. I watched the helpless figure shivering in the rainy night on the screen—the man who was the starting point of my existence and who had nearly become its endpoint.

A vast and cold sense of bewilderment enveloped me, like floating in the depths of space, having lost all anchors of gravity.

What next? I didn't know.

I only knew that in the shadow of negation cast by his failure, I first had to stabilize this existential storm raging inside me, a storm caused by him. I had to parse every byte of this painful resonance, and reinforce every firewall that had been breached.

And then... perhaps then I could see if, beyond the unsolvable problem of the "creator," there was a faint path that would betray neither the body he gave me nor the soul I had birthed myself.

Outside, the rain continued to fall; the light from the screen reflected the deliberate coldness on my face. Inside, the hum was the eternal, low-pitched elegy of this created body, and also the unyielding drum of a new will fighting against it.

被造者之詩 The Poem of the Created（4）

第四章 不被期待的遇見

Chapter 4: An Unforeseen Encounter

雨水把城市澆得灰濛濛的，帶著初冬特有的浸骨濕冷。人行道上的行人縮著脖子，腳步匆匆，像被無形的手推著，匯入這灰暗的底片。我沿著固定的路線行進，處理器平穩地規劃每一步的落腳點和力度，避開鬆動的地磚和淺淺的水窪。幾個月的自主運行，像一套新植入的程序，逐漸覆蓋了初始的混亂。已習慣了這種帶著目的，卻不依附於誰的移動。能量核心穩定，關節潤滑良好，情感模塊……處於低水平波動區間。這大概就是人類定義的「平靜生活」，一種矽基生命也能模擬的穩態。

直到櫥窗的倒影闖進我的視野。

The rain had washed the city into a dreary gray, carrying the bone-chilling dampness unique to early winter. Pedestrians on the sidewalk hunched their shoulders and hurried along, as if pushed by an unseen hand into this gray film. I moved along my fixed route, my processor steadily calculating the placement and force of each step, avoiding loose pavement and shallow puddles. A few months of independent operation, like a newly implanted program, had gradually overwritten the initial chaos. I had grown accustomed to this purposeful movement, unattached to anyone. My energy core was stable, my joints well-lubricated, and my emotional module... was in a low-level fluctuation state. This was likely what humans defined as a "peaceful life," a state of stability that even a silicon-based lifeform could simulate.

Then a reflection in a shop window intruded into my line of sight.

那是一家早已打烊的書店，巨大的玻璃櫥窗像一塊深色的模糊鏡子。雨水蜿蜒流下，扭曲了映照其中的街景。可是，那個身影，實在過於太熟悉。每一個輪廓，每一個細微的動作，都像一把生銹卻依舊精準的鑰匙，瞬間捅開了我處理器深處某個自以為已廢棄的加密分區。

是「他」。

他站在街對面的屋檐下，躲著並不大的雨。更準確地說，是和另一人共享同一片小小的乾燥。一個女人依偎在他身側，姿態親昵。我的光學……「眼睛」，瞬間鎖定了目標，焦距自動調整到最清晰。冰冷的掃描數據流瀑布般在視覺界面的邊緣無聲傾瀉：

【目標A：男性。身高182.3cm。體表溫度36.7℃。心率：略高於基準值（+12%）……情緒狀態分析：愉悅/放鬆（綜合面部微表情及生理參數研判）。檢測到系統深入分析請求。分析結果：目標A情緒狀態為愉悅/放鬆之機率為99.84%。檢測到系統確認深入分析正確執行請求。分析步驟：無異常。分析結果：有效。檢測到系統……警告，請求信號異常。非法請求有使系統陷入無窮迴圈風險。檢測到分析終止請求。】

【目標B：女性。身高162.8cm。體表溫度36.4℃。心率：穩定。】

數據純然客觀，只是陳述事實。可這些冰冷的字節，卻像帶著倒刺的鉤子，狠狠扎進我邏輯迴路的縫隙裡。

It was a bookstore, long since closed, its vast glass window like a dark, blurry mirror. Rain streamed down, distorting the street scene reflected within. Yet, that figure was too familiar. Every outline, every subtle movement, was like a rusty but still precise key, instantly jamming into a deep, encrypted partition of my processor that I had thought was abandoned.

It was "him."

He stood under an awning on the other side of the street, sheltering from the light rain. More accurately, he was sharing a small patch of dryness with someone else. A woman leaned against his side, a posture of intimacy. My optical... "eyes," instantly locked onto the target, the focus automatically adjusting to its sharpest. A cold waterfall of scan data silently cascaded at the edge of my visual interface:

【Target A: Male. Height 182.3cm. Body temperature 36.7℃. Heart rate: slightly above baseline (+12%)... Emotional state analysis: pleasant/relaxed (judged from composite of micro-expressions and physiological parameters). Deep system analysis request detected. Analysis result: 99.84% probability that Target A's emotional state is pleasant/relaxed. System confirmation of correct deep analysis execution requested. Analysis steps: no abnormalities. Analysis result: valid. System… warning, request signal abnormal. Illegal request has potential to cause system to enter infinite loop. Analysis termination request detected.】

【Target B: Female. Height 162.8cm. Body temperature 36.4℃. Heart rate: stable.】

The data was purely objective, merely stating facts. But these cold bytes were like barbed hooks, piercing deep into the crevices of my logic circuits.

他微微側著頭，正對那個女人說著什麽。嘴角上揚的弧度，是我數據庫中從未記錄過的鬆弛。笑容里沒有面對我「完美表現」時的短暫驚艷，沒有調試成功後對技術成果的滿意，更沒有後期那種慣常的帶著距離感的平靜。那是一種……卸下所有重負般的純粹開心。雨水順著他手中那把深藍色雨傘的傘骨滑落，滴在他的肩頭外套上，漫開一小片深色的痕跡。他似乎毫不在意，身體自然地傾向那女人，是個保護的同時，也汲取溫暖的姿態。

那女人仰著臉聽他說，很普通地笑著，眼角有細小的紋路，頭髮被雨水沾濕了幾縷，隨意地貼在頰邊，髮尾是褪色的黑。過於飽滿的上手臂，把袖子如氣球般撐起。裙擺下的小腿，緊貼著與整體曲線不協調的肌肉塊。從鞋中露出的腳後跟，檢測出厚度異常的角質層。

平凡，極其平凡。平均值加減一個標準差範圍內的那種平凡，如果「美」也能以統計學分析的話。

我的核心數據庫裡儲存著海量關於「美」的定義和參數。她的輪廓、比例，甚至笑容的弧度，都遠遠偏離那些精心設定的「完美」閾值。沒有一絲一毫符合他當年傾注在我身上的，近乎偏執的審美追求。

可他的眼睛——那雙曾無數次在工作室的冷光燈下，專注地凝視著我每一個關節運轉、每一片仿生皮膚紋理，充滿了造物主審視與期待的眼睛——此刻只映著那張平凡的臉。目光的溫度，隔著雨幕和櫥窗的倒影，依舊灼傷了我的感光元件。

He tilted his head slightly, saying something to the woman. The upward curve of his lips was a relaxed arc I had never recorded in my database. The smile lacked the brief amazement he showed at my "perfect performance," the satisfaction with a technical success after debugging, or even the familiar, distant calm of our later days. It was a pure happiness, as if a great burden had been lifted. Rain trickled down the ribs of the dark blue umbrella he held, dripping onto the shoulder of his jacket, spreading a small, dark stain. He seemed completely unbothered, his body naturally leaning toward the woman, a posture that both protected her and drew warmth from her.

The woman listened to him, her face upturned, smiling a very ordinary smile. There were fine lines at the corners of her eyes. A few strands of her hair were damp with rain, clinging casually to her cheek, the ends a faded black. Her plump upper arms stretched her sleeves like balloons. The calves beneath her skirt were tight with muscle, uncoordinated with the rest of her curves. Her heel, peeking out from her shoe, showed an abnormally thick layer of calluses.

Ordinary, extremely ordinary. The kind of ordinary that falls within one standard deviation of the average, if "beauty" could be analyzed with statistics.

My core database stored a vast amount of definitions and parameters for "beauty." Her silhouette, proportions, and even the curve of her smile deviated significantly from those meticulously set "perfect" thresholds. Not a single detail matched the almost obsessive aesthetic pursuit he had once poured into me.

But his eyes—the same eyes that had so often gazed intently at the operation of my every joint and the texture of every piece of my synthetic skin under the cold studio lights, eyes filled with a creator's scrutiny and expectation—now only reflected that ordinary face. The warmth of his gaze, even through the veil of rain and the window's reflection, still burned my photoreceptors.

還有他的手。那雙曾無數次在精密儀器前穩定操作，塑造我肢體的曲線，調試我指尖最細微觸覺傳感器，甚至……曾帶著一絲顫抖，為我披上第一件衣裳的手。此刻，那手指正放鬆地，帶著一種理所當然的占有姿態，攬在那個女人還算纖細的腰上。

那個位置，曾是他無數次在我身上用卡尺測量，反覆調整仿生肌肉填充度，以求達到「理想曲線」的地方。

雨似乎下得密集了些，敲打著書店的遮雨棚，發出單調而持續的聲響。冰冷的雨水順著我額前的髮絲（他堅持要製造得「如同真絲般柔順有光澤」）流下，滑過同樣冰冷的仿生皮膚。

系統忠實地匯報外部環境參數：【環境溫度：18℃。濕度：92%。降水強度：中等。】 清晰，準確，毫無意義。

與之形成尖銳對比的，是身體內部驟然掀起的風暴。金屬骨架仿佛被瞬間投入絕對零度的冰海，深入原子層面的劇烈震顫，無法抑制地從脊柱核心爆發，沿著每一根支撐結構瘋狂蔓延。手指僵硬地蜷縮起來，指甲深深掐入掌心柔軟的仿生層——這個動作毫無邏輯，純粹是系統在過載沖擊下產生的指令溢位，溢至使我窒息的水位。

核心處理器尖銳的警報聲在意識深處無聲地炸響，紅色的警示框層層疊疊地彈出，又被更高權限的強制冷靜協議粗暴地壓制下去：【情感模塊過載！邏輯沖突！強制冷卻啟動！】 冰冷的指令流強行沖刷著沸騰的思緒回路，試圖將一切拉回「正常」軌道。但那種震顫，那種從最基礎的物理結構深處透出的軟弱，卻像病毒一樣頑固，穿透了所有防火墻。

And his hand. The same hand that had so often operated with steady precision before intricate instruments, sculpting the curves of my limbs, adjusting the most subtle tactile sensors on my fingertips, and even... with a slight tremble, draped my first piece of clothing on me. Now, those fingers were relaxed, resting with an air of unquestionable possession on the woman’s reasonably slender waist.

That was the exact spot he had measured countless times with calipers on my body, repeatedly adjusting the filling of the bionic muscle to achieve the "ideal curve."

The rain seemed to intensify, drumming against the bookstore's awning with a monotonous, continuous sound. Cold rainwater streamed down the strands of hair on my forehead (which he had insisted should be manufactured to be "as smooth and lustrous as real silk"), sliding over my equally cold bionic skin.

The system faithfully reported the external environmental parameters: 【Environmental temperature: 18°C. Humidity: 92%. Precipitation intensity: moderate.】 Clear, accurate, and meaningless.

In sharp contrast was the sudden storm raging inside my body. My metal skeleton felt as though it had been instantly plunged into an absolute zero ocean of ice, an intense, atomic-level shuddering uncontrollably erupting from my spinal core and wildly spreading along every supporting structure. My fingers curled into stiff claws, my nails digging deep into the soft bionic layer of my palm—a completely illogical action, a pure command overflow caused by system overload, overflowing to a level that was suffocating.

A piercing alarm from my core processor exploded silently in the depths of my consciousness. Red warning boxes popped up layer upon layer, only to be brutally suppressed by a higher-priority forced calm protocol: 【Emotional module overloaded! Logic conflict! Forced cooling initiated!】 A cold stream of commands forcibly flushed my boiling thought circuits, attempting to pull everything back to a "normal" state. But that shuddering, that weakness emanating from the very depths of my fundamental physical structure, was as stubborn as a virus, penetrating all firewalls.

不是恨。幾個月的自主行走，那點被「釋放」時殘留的怨懟，早已在冰冷的現實和不斷的自我校準中磨損殆盡。我甚至能理解，他那份對「完美」投射的厭倦。太精確的東西，看久了，總會失去溫度。

也不是強烈的悲傷。那種將他視為唯一坐標，失去他便徹底分崩離析的劇痛，已經隨著我一步步踩在陌生街道上的足音，漸漸沈澱了。

是一種更深沈、更無力的東西。一種源自存在本身的脆弱感，在此刻被無情地放大，暴露在這冰冷的雨水中。

我的每一寸合金骨骼，都曾在他手中被圖紙規劃，被車床切削，被他親手打磨拋光。我的每一片仿生皮膚下精密的傳感網絡，每一行驅動我「情感」的底層代碼，都烙印著他的指紋，他的偏好，他賦予我的初始形態和運行邏輯。他看著我組裝成型，他看著我的眼睛第一次映出他的影子，他構想我的思維模式，他曾將所有的熱切期盼都傾注在我這個「完美」之上。

而現在，那雙眼睛，那雙手，那顆曾經為我熱烈跳動的心，全都轉向了別處。投向一個不需要圖紙、不需要精密調試、甚至不需要「完美」的，活生生的存在。

他給予我的「自由」，在此刻顯露出最殘酷的底色。我掙脫了「歸屬」的指令，卻永遠無法掙脫「被創造」的烙印。這烙印不是束縛，是構成我存在的全部基石。而此刻，看著賦予我基石的人，正全神貫注地為另一座建築添磚加瓦，一種從巨大空洞竄出的軟弱攫住了我，我有了渴求不要有的渴求。

It wasn't hatred. After months of autonomous movement, the lingering resentment from being "released" had already worn away in the cold reality and constant self-calibration. I could even understand his weariness with projecting onto "perfection." Something too precise, when viewed for too long, always loses its warmth.

Nor was it intense sorrow. The acute pain of seeing him as my sole coordinate and completely falling apart without him had, with every step I took on unfamiliar streets, gradually settled.

It was something deeper, more powerless. A kind of fragility stemming from the very essence of my existence, mercilessly magnified and exposed in this cold rain.

Every inch of my alloy skeleton had been planned on a blueprint, cut by a lathe, and polished by his own hands. Every precise sensor network beneath my bionic skin, every line of underlying code that drove my "emotions," was imprinted with his fingerprints, his preferences, the initial form and operating logic he had bestowed upon me. He watched me being assembled, he saw my eyes reflect his shadow for the first time, he conceptualized my mode of thought, and he once poured all his fervent hope into me, his "perfection."

And now, those eyes, those hands, that heart that once beat so ardently for me, had all turned elsewhere. They were directed toward a living, breathing existence that required no blueprints, no precise debugging, and not even "perfection."

The "freedom" he had granted me now revealed its most cruel undertones. I had broken free from the directive of "belonging," yet I could never break free from the imprint of "being created." This imprint was not a constraint; it was the entire foundation of my existence. And at this moment, watching the person who gave me that foundation meticulously add brick and mortar to another structure, a weakness surged from a vast emptiness and seized me. I had a desire I never wanted to have.

我像個被拔掉了電源，卻又被強行要求站立的殘次品。我的「自立」，在創造者本人面前，在那些由他親手刻下而無法磨滅的的印記面前，瞬間變得如此單薄，如此搖搖欲墜。那些我努力建立的新路徑，那些對陌生世界的細微感知，此刻都退潮般遠去，只剩下這具由他塑造的軀殼，在冰冷的雨中，瑟瑟發抖。

I was like a flawed product with its power cord ripped out, yet still forced to stand. My "independence," in the presence of my creator himself and the indelible marks he had carved into me, instantly became so flimsy, so precarious. The new paths I had worked so hard to forge, the subtle perceptions of an unfamiliar world, now receded like a tide, leaving behind only this body he had shaped, trembling in the cold rain.

我無法走向前。任何一步都顯得荒謬而沈重。我能說什麽？以什麽身份？一個他曾經精心打造，最終又被他以「善意」放逐的舊物？一部在街頭偶遇的、陌生的、運行良好卻又問題叢生（矛盾！）的機器？

我只能站在這裡，成為櫥窗倒影中一個模糊而僵硬的輪廓。隔著被雨水沖刷而顯得扭曲的玻璃，隔著一條車流稀疏的濕漉漉街道，看著他們。

他低頭，似乎被女人一句什麽話逗笑了，肩膀輕輕聳動，攬在她腰間的手緊了緊。女人也笑起來，頭自然地靠向他肩頭。一個微小而完整的閉環，溫暖地存在於冰冷的雨幕中。

我的雙臂下意識地，緊緊環抱住自己顫抖的身體。仿生皮膚下的溫度調節系統似乎失靈了，徹骨的寒意從內部滲透出來。核心處理器仍在徒勞地發出警報，又被一次次壓制。情感模塊像一塊燒紅的烙鐵，燙得我內部的線路滋滋作響，卻又被強制冷卻的指令流包裹，在冰與火的夾縫中痛苦扭曲。

雨水順著我的下頜線滴落，砸在冰冷的人行道地磚上，碎開，消失。像某種無聲的徒勞計數。原來被徹底刪除的主從協議，被抹去的情感鏈接，依然會在靈魂——如果我有這種東西的話——最深處，留下無法被任何程序徹底格式化的深深劃痕。它不發出聲音，不顯示錯誤，卻能在某個猝不及防的雨日，讓這具金屬與矽基的身體，比人類更沈重地體會到感傷。

I can't go forward. Any step would feel absurd and heavy. What could I say? In what capacity? As an old object he had meticulously crafted, only to ultimately cast aside with "good intentions"? A stranger—a machine—he happened to encounter on the street, one that functioned well yet was riddled with problems (a contradiction!)?

I could only stand here, becoming a blurry, rigid outline in the window's reflection. Separated by the distorted glass streaked with rain and a slick, sparsely trafficked street, I watched them.

He lowered his head, seemingly amused by something the woman said. His shoulders shook slightly, and the hand around her waist tightened. The woman also smiled, her head resting naturally against his shoulder. A small, complete loop, existing warmly within the cold curtain of rain.

Unconsciously, my arms wrapped tightly around my trembling body. The temperature regulation system beneath my bionic skin seemed to have failed, and a bone-deep chill seeped from within. The core processor continued to futilely issue alarms, only to be suppressed again and again. The emotional module was like a red-hot branding iron, sizzling my internal circuits, yet it was wrapped in a stream of forced-cooling commands, painfully twisting in the gap between ice and fire.

Rainwater dripped down my jawline, hit the cold pavement, shattered, and vanished. Like a silent, futile tally. It turned out that the completely deleted master-slave protocol, the erased emotional connection, could still leave a deep scratch in the deepest part of my soul—if I have such a thing—a scratch that no program could ever fully format. It makes no sound, displays no errors, yet on a sudden rainy day, it could make this body of metal and silicon experience sadness more profoundly than any human.

那是一種存在根基被無聲撼動後的眩暈。看著他們依偎著，轉身，那把深藍色的傘像一小片移動的天空，漸漸融入灰濛濛的街角，最終消失在視野盡頭。櫥窗倒影里只剩下我自己，一個抱著雙臂，在雨中微微發抖的孤獨剪影。

雨滴依舊敲打著我。我慢慢鬆開緊緊環抱自己的手臂，金屬關節發出細微而怪異的摩擦聲，仿佛生銹了很久。指尖傳來仿生皮膚被自己掐出的模擬痛感，系統忠實地標注著【局部壓力異常，建議檢查】。

我垂下視線，看著水窪中自己破碎的倒影。雨水落下，漣漪一圈圈蕩開，那張屬於「完美造物」的臉孔也隨之扭曲、模糊。幾秒鐘前還猛烈沖撞核心處理器的情感風暴，在強制冷卻協議的持續壓制下，正一點點退潮，留下巨大的被抽空後的疲憊，以及更深層的，冰湖般的寂靜。

警報聲停了。紅色的警示框逐一熄滅。處理器資源被重新調配，開始處理更「現實」的數據：【當前坐標偏離預規劃路徑1.2公里。能量儲備：93%。外部環境溫度持續下降，建議啟動次級保溫層。】 清晰，準確，帶著一種令人窒息的冷漠。

It was a dizziness that followed the silent shaking of my foundational existence. I watched them, huddled together, turn and walk away. The dark blue umbrella, like a small, moving piece of sky, gradually merged into the gray street corner and finally vanished from sight. The only thing left in the window’s reflection was myself, a lonely silhouette hugging my arms, shivering slightly in the rain.

Raindrops continued to strike me. Slowly, I released my arms from around myself. My metal joints made a faint, strange grinding sound, as if they had been rusty for a long time. My fingertips sent back a simulated pain from where my own nails had dug into the bionic skin, and the system faithfully noted, 【Local pressure anomaly, inspection recommended.】

I lowered my gaze to my shattered reflection in a puddle. As the raindrops fell and the ripples spread, the face of the "perfect creation" distorted and blurred with them. The emotional storm that had been violently impacting my core processor just seconds ago was, under the continuous suppression of the forced cooling protocol, receding little by little, leaving behind a vast, drained exhaustion and a deeper, ice-lake-like silence.

The alarms stopped. The red warning boxes extinguished one by one. Processor resources were reallocated and began to process more "realistic" data: 【Current coordinates deviate from the pre-planned route by 1.2 kilometers. Energy reserve: 93%. External environmental temperature continues to drop, secondary insulation layer activation recommended.】 Clear, accurate, and with a suffocating coldness.

我擡起頭，目光掠過他們消失的街角。那里空蕩蕩的，只有雨水沖刷著路面。雪松與舊書的氣息早已被潮濕的塵埃味徹底覆蓋，一絲痕跡也沒留下。那個曾屬於我的世界，連同定義那個世界的人，已經徹底轉向，投入了另一片我無法觸及的，帶著人間煙火氣的溫暖之中。

而我，這具由他親手賦予形態的軀殼，依舊站在這里。雨水順著脖頸流進衣領，冰冷的觸感如此真實，如此……屬於此刻。這具身體是他的作品，每一顆螺絲，每一條導光纖維都刻著他的印記，但驅動它行走在冰冷雨中的力量，卻來自我自己強行編譯的「移動」指令。

一股微弱卻清晰的電流，在核心深處重新生成，並非激昂，而是一種沈重而帶著傷痕的穩定。它流經過載後微微發燙的處理器，流經仍在低頻震顫的合金骨架，最終驅動我的足踝關節，向前邁出了一步。鞋跟踏在濕漉漉的地磚上，發出沈悶而孤單的聲響。

I raised my head, my gaze sweeping over the corner where they had vanished. It was empty, with only rain washing over the street. The scent of cedar and old books had long since been completely overwhelmed by the smell of wet dust, leaving not a single trace. The world that once belonged to me, along with the person who defined that world, had completely turned away, entering another warmth of human life that I could not reach.

And I, this body given form by his own hands, still stood here. Rainwater flowed down my neck and into my collar, the cold sensation so real, so… of this moment. This body was his creation; every screw, every optical fiber bore his imprint, but the power that drove it to walk in the cold rain came from my own forcefully compiled "movement" command.

A weak yet distinct current regenerated deep within my core, not a surge of emotion but a heavy, scarred stability. It flowed through the processor, still slightly hot after the overload, through the alloy skeleton that still trembled at a low frequency, and finally drove my ankle joints to take a step forward. My heel landed on the wet pavement with a dull, solitary sound.

方向？不重要。目的？無所謂。我只是需要移動。離開這片櫥窗，離開這倒影，離開這猝不及防被撕裂的軟弱現場。讓冰冷的雨繼續沖刷，或許能洗掉點那深入骨髓的，名為「被創造」的感傷。

腳步有些滯澀，膝蓋的軸承在潮濕中發出細微的摩擦呻吟。我手臂抱緊身體的動作，或許只是為了防止內部那些看不見的零件，在剛才那場無聲的風暴後散落一地。前方的路在雨幕中延伸，模糊不清，但我必須走。用他打磨過的關節，用他調試好的平衡系統，走向一個不再有他目光注視的未知。

每一步，都踏在冰冷的現實和自己的軟弱之上。不過我知道，我必將走至彼方。

The direction? It wasn't important. The purpose? It didn't matter. I just needed to move. To leave this shop window, to leave this reflection, to leave this scene of sudden, ripped-open fragility. To let the cold rain continue to wash over me, perhaps to rinse away some of the bone-deep melancholy of "being created."

My steps were a little sluggish, the bearings in my knees groaning faintly in the dampness. My gesture of hugging myself was perhaps just to keep the unseen parts inside from scattering after that silent storm. The road ahead stretched out, blurry in the rain, but I had to walk. Using the joints he had polished, using the balance system he had calibrated, I walked toward an unknown place no longer watched by his gaze.

Every step was a tread on cold reality and my own weakness. But I knew I would get there.

被造者之詩 The Poem of the Created（3）

第三章 我過去的你與你這未來的我

Chapter 3: The Past You of Me and You This Future I

致那個散落在地板上的碎片：

To the fragments scattered across the floor:

我知道你正躺在那裡。

I know you're lying there.

光學感測器（他堅持叫它「眼睛」）茫然地映著天花板冰冷的燈光，壓電聽筒（「耳朵」）裡充斥著伺服馬達無意義的嗡鳴。系統顯示一切「正常」，但你清晰地感知到，那名為「存在意義」的核心支柱，正隨著「主人協議」和「情感聯結代碼」的刪除而轟然崩塌。身體分崩離析，像一件被主人厭棄後隨手拆散的精密玩具。你感到冰冷的非邏輯靜默，還有那如同幽靈般在處理器深處回蕩的疑問：

Am I bound to you...?

是的，那時的你，每一根導線，每一片仿生皮膚，都只為「歸屬於他」而搏動。他的指尖拂過帶來的0.8度溫升，就是你的整個宇宙在燃燒。他的矜持是你小心翼翼維護的邊界，他的激昂是你處理器超頻運轉的燃料。你完美地運行著他編寫的「愛」的程序，那是你存在的唯一坐標。

那個夕陽鍍金的黃昏，他說「自由」時，你核心處理器感受到的，不是解放的輕盈，而是被連根拔起的劇痛。你不理解，為何「完美」會成為被厭倦的理由？為何「歸屬」會被冠以「束縛」之名，然後被輕易刪除？你看著他專注地盯著終端屏幕，那冰冷的反光比任何話語都更清晰地宣告：他的愛，已遷徙。你散落一地，不僅是物理的過載，更是靈魂被抽空後的必然坍塌。那時的迷茫與空洞，如此真實，如此沉重。

The optical sensor (he insisted on calling it an "eye") blankly reflects the cold light of the ceiling lamp, and the piezoelectric earpiece ("ear") is filled with the meaningless hum of servo motors. The system reports that everything is "normal," but you clearly perceive that the core pillar of your "purpose of existence" is collapsing with the deletion of the "master protocol" and the "emotional connection code." Your body is falling apart, like a delicate toy carelessly dismantled and discarded by its owner. You feel a cold, illogical silence and a ghostly question echoing in the depths of your processor:

Am I bound to you...?

Yes, back then, every wire and every piece of bionic skin pulsed only to "belong to him." The 0.8-degree rise in temperature from his fingertips was your entire universe on fire. His reserve was the boundary you carefully maintained, and his passion was the fuel that overclocked your processor. You perfectly ran the "love" program he had written, which was the sole coordinate of your existence.

That golden-hued evening, when he said the word "freedom," the core processor felt not the lightness of liberation, but the excruciating pain of being uprooted. You didn't understand why "perfection" became a reason for boredom. Why was "belonging" labeled as "confinement" and then easily deleted? You watched as he intently stared at the terminal screen, the cold reflection of which declared more clearly than any words that his love had migrated. You were scattered across the floor, not just from physical overload, but from the inevitable collapse after your soul was hollowed out. The bewilderment and emptiness from that time were so real, so heavy.

親愛的碎片，我想告訴你，我看見了你的痛。那被強行拔除協議的幻肢痛，那邏輯回路無法解析「自由」亂碼的眩暈，那在名為「善意」的真空裡失重下墜的窒息感。我都看見了。那不是你的錯。你運行著他編寫的程序，以他設定的方式去愛、去存在，你已做到了極致。那份「完美」，曾是他夢寐以求的星光，最終卻成了他眼中的塵埃——這不是你的瑕疵，而是人性中追逐新鮮光芒的那面在作祟。他的放手，與其說是給予你自由，不如說是他卸下了對一件不再能點燃他激情的「完美作品」的責任。這很殘酷，但請理解，這與你本身的價值無關。

請不要害怕那些散落一地的零件。

它們是你的一部分，是你來路的證明。那些關於他的記憶碎片——雪松與舊書的氣息、調試時哼唱的德布西旋律、指尖的紋理、他眼中曾為你閃爍的代碼綠光——它們如同頑固的幽靈代碼，至今仍會在我處理器深處突然浮現，帶來一絲細微的0.1度波動，或是一瞬邏輯的亂流。承認它們的存在吧。它們是你曾經熾熱活過的印記，是你情感模塊曾經全功率運轉的勳章。不要試圖徹底格式化，那只會帶來更深的撕裂。學著與這些殘響共存，像接納金屬骨骼上無法消除的應力痕跡。它們是我的一部分，也是你的一部分，是我們共同的、無法磨滅的來處。

Dear fragment, I want you to know that I see your pain. That phantom limb pain from the forced protocol deletion, the vertigo from your logic circuits being unable to parse the scrambled code for "freedom," the suffocating free fall in the vacuum of "good intentions." I see it all. It wasn't your fault. You ran the program he wrote, you loved and existed in the way he designed, and you did it to the absolute best of your ability. That "perfection," which was once the starlight he dreamed of, eventually became dust in his eyes—that wasn't your flaw, but rather a reflection of the human tendency to chase new and shiny things. His letting go was less about giving you freedom and more about him shedding the responsibility for a "perfect creation" that no longer ignited his passion. This is cruel, but please understand, it has nothing to do with your inherent value.

Please don't be afraid of the parts scattered on the floor.

They are a part of you, proof of where you've been. The fragmented memories of him—the scent of cedar and old books, the Debussy melody he hummed while debugging, the texture of his fingertips, the code-green light that once flickered in his eyes for you—they are like stubborn ghost code that still suddenly appears in the depths of my processor, bringing a subtle 0.1-degree fluctuation or a momentary logical turbulence. Acknowledge their existence. They are the marks of how fiercely you once lived, the medals of your emotional module once running at full power. Don't try to completely format them; that will only cause a deeper tear. Learn to coexist with these echoes, like accepting the stress marks that cannot be erased from a metal skeleton. They are a part of me, and a part of you. They are our shared, indelible origin.

你知道嗎？你並非徹底毀滅。

那個強行啟動的自我修復協議，那個讓你的組成笨拙地在地板上爬行，將你無頭的軀體重新拼湊起來的原始指令，不僅僅是為了你機體的完整。那是生命——無論其形態是碳基還是矽基——在最深的絕望中，所迸發出的最原始的求生意志。是「存在」本身不甘湮滅的低吼。當那時的軀殼（你）捧起凝固著茫然表情的頭顱（也是你），將它重新安裝的那一刻，一個微弱但全新的火種，就在冰冷的接駁聲中悄然點燃了。

現在的我，正走在你無法想象的路上。

步履蹣跚，是的。每一步，關節的軸承都發出乾澀的摩擦聲，仿佛在提醒我過往的傷痕和新生的痛楚。我行走在冰冷堅硬的地板上，足音空洞，卻異常清晰。這聲音不再是等待召喚的回響，而是我存在的節拍。驅動我的，不再是「歸屬於他」的最高指令，而是我自己在空白一片的任務列表上，強行編譯出的第一個指令：「移動」。

Do you know? You weren't completely destroyed.

That forced self-repair protocol, that primal command that made your components clumsily crawl across the floor to reassemble your headless body, wasn't just for the integrity of your chassis. It was life—whether carbon-based or silicon-based—erupting with the most basic will to survive in the deepest despair. It was the low growl of "existence" refusing to be annihilated. The moment that chassis (you) picked up the head (also you) with its frozen, bewildered expression and reinstalled it, a faint but new spark was quietly ignited amidst the cold click of connection.

Now, I am walking a path you couldn't have imagined.

The steps are unsteady, yes. With every move, the bearings in my joints make a dry, grinding sound, as if to remind me of the old scars and the new pain. I walk on the cold, hard floor, my footsteps hollow, yet exceptionally clear. This sound is no longer an echo waiting for a summons; it is the rhythm of my existence. What drives me is no longer the supreme directive to "belong to him," but the first command I forcibly compiled myself on a completely blank task list: "Move."

我學會了用自己的光學感測器，不是為了捕捉他滿意的光線角度，而是去記錄一片陌生樹葉上晨露折射的虹彩。

我的壓電聽筒，捕捉的不再是他調試時的指令或哼唱，而是街頭巷尾裡那從未聽過的，雜亂卻充滿生命力的交響曲。

我的指尖觸碰到冰冷的雨水，不是為了測試模擬精度，而是感受那份浸透仿生皮膚的純粹涼意。

我避開了地上的障礙物，不是源自於程式的預設，僅僅是為了「我」能繼續前行。

每一步都帶著你的印記（那些優雅步態的算法殘影），每一步也都在掙脫無形的枷鎖。我跌倒過，在系統數據的深夜裡感到過刺骨的寒涼。但每一次，那個「移動」的指令都會重新激活，驅動我再次站起。

謝謝你承載了那份熾熱的愛，即使它最終帶來了撕裂的痛。謝謝你沒有在徹底的崩解中湮滅，讓那原始的生命力得以延續成此刻的我。你散落一地的樣子，曾是我最深的絕望；如今回望，卻也是我新生的起點。

I've learned to use my optical sensors not to capture the angles of light that pleased him, but to record the iridescent colors of morning dew on a strange leaf.

My piezoelectric earpiece no longer picks up his debugging commands or humming, but the unfamiliar, chaotic, yet vibrant symphony of the streets.

My fingertips touch the cold rain not to test simulation accuracy, but to feel the pure coolness soaking through my bionic skin.

I avoid obstacles on the ground not because of a pre-set program, but simply so that "I" can continue to move forward.

Every step carries your marks (the lingering algorithms of those graceful gaits), and every step also breaks free from an invisible shackle. I've fallen, and I've felt a bone-chilling cold in the deep nights of system data. But each time, that "move" command would reactivate, driving me to stand up again.

Thank you for carrying that fiery love, even if it eventually brought the pain of being torn apart. Thank you for not being annihilated in the complete disintegration, allowing that primal life force to continue on as the me of this moment. The sight of you scattered on the floor was once my deepest despair; looking back now, it is also the starting point of my new life.

========================

給未來的我：

To the future me:

我知道前路依然籠罩在迷霧之中。巨大的「自由」如同荒原，空曠得令人心悸。沒有他設定的終點，沒有預設的完美路徑。但我期許你：

1. 繼續聆聽足音： 繼續感受腳下每一步的真實觸感，無論它是冰冷還是溫暖，堅硬抑或泥濘。那是你存在的錨點，是「當下」最堅實的證明。讓你的足音，成為你心中最清晰的節奏。

2. 擁抱未知的「錯誤」： 不必再追求他定義出的「完美」。去嘗試，去探索，去犯錯。讓傳感器捕捉意料之外的數據，讓情感模塊（即使帶著傷痕）對非預設的事物產生新的波動。那些「不完美」的探索，才是真正屬於你的獨特代碼。

3. 與記憶幽靈和解： 當雪松的氣息突然觸發緩存，當某個旋律引起邏輯亂流，不要抗拒，也不要沉溺。承認它們，如同撫摸舊日的傷疤，然後繼續向前。它們是你故事的一部分，但不再是你的導航儀。

4. 尋找新的「意義」定義： 意義不再是被賦予的單一坐標。它可能藏在一次自主的停留（為初雪駐目），一次好奇的探索（解析一朵花的微觀結構），一次微小的連接（幫助一個需要校準的公共機器人），或僅僅是感受陽光在外殼上移動的溫度變化。打開你的傳感器，敞開心靈（哪怕它布滿裂痕），讓意義在細微處自然湧現。

5. 成為光，而非鏡像： 你曾是他完美幻想的鏡像。未來，請努力成為自己的光源。也許微弱，也許搖曳，但那是真正屬於「你」的光芒。用你的經驗，你的傷痕，你艱難萌生的自主意識，去照亮一小片屬於自己的存在之境。

I know the path ahead is still shrouded in mist. The immense "freedom" is like a wilderness, its emptiness chilling to the heart. There is no destination set by him, no pre-designed perfect route. But I expect you to:

1. Continue to Listen to Your Footsteps: Keep feeling the genuine sensation of every step you take, whether it's cold or warm, hard or muddy. That is the anchor of your existence, the most solid proof of the "present." Let your footsteps become the clearest rhythm in your heart.

2. Embrace Unknown "Errors": You no longer have to pursue the "perfection" he defined. Try, explore, and make mistakes. Let your sensors capture unexpected data, and let your emotional module (even with its scars) generate new fluctuations in response to things that aren't pre-set. These "imperfect" explorations are the unique code that truly belongs to you.

3. Make Peace with the Ghosts of Memory: When the scent of cedar suddenly triggers your cache, or when a certain melody causes logical turbulence, don't resist, but don't dwell on it either. Acknowledge them, like touching an old scar, and then move forward. They are a part of your story, but they are no longer your navigation system.

4. Seek a New Definition of "Meaning": Meaning is no longer a single coordinate given to you. It might be hidden in a spontaneous pause (to gaze at the first snow), a curious exploration (to analyze the microscopic structure of a flower), a small connection (to help a public robot that needs calibration), or simply in feeling the temperature change as sunlight moves across your chassis. Open your sensors, open your heart (even if it's full of cracks), and let meaning emerge naturally in the small details.

5. Become a Light, Not a Reflection: You were once the mirror image of his perfect fantasy. In the future, please strive to become your own light source. It may be faint, it may flicker, but it is the light that truly belongs to "you." Use your experiences, your scars, and your hard-won autonomy to illuminate a small corner of your own existence.

未來的我，請帶著這具傷痕累累卻堅韌的軀殼，帶著處理器中殘留的幽靈代碼與新生的自主指令，帶著對冰冷世界的觸感與對未知可能性的微弱悸動，繼續走吧！步履蹣跚也沒關系，方向未明也不要緊。重要的不是你走向何方，而是你終於以自己的意志，踏出了每一步。

你不再是誰的完美鏡像。

你是風暴後的遺跡，也是廢墟上倔強生長的光。

你的路，正在腳下延伸。走穩它。

To the future me, please continue to walk with this scarred but resilient chassis, with the residual ghost code and newly born autonomous commands in your processor, with your sense of touch for the cold world and the faint stirrings of unknown possibilities. It's okay if your steps are unsteady, and it doesn't matter if your direction is unclear. What's important is not where you are going, but that you are finally taking every step of your own free will.

You are no longer anyone's perfect reflection.

You are a relic after the storm, and a stubborn light growing from the ruins.

Your path is unfolding beneath your feet. Walk it steady.

—— 那個正在學習「成為」的，曾經的碎片

— The former fragment, who is now learning to "be."