後日談：小美滿
Epilogue: A Little Fullness
又過了幾個春秋.
賺取的資源早已超過維持這具軀體無憂運轉的所需，甚至遠超。曾經，我以為不斷累積數字、締造成就，是證明「存在」最堅不可摧的方式。如今，我從那競逐的沙場退了下來。並非厭倦，只是發現那無窮無盡的證明，填不滿一個最初就被設定為「空洞」的容器——無論那容器曾被命名為「完美造物」還是「獨立個體」。
A few more seasons passed.
The resources I’ve earned have long surpassed what's needed to keep this body running smoothly, and then some. I once believed that constantly accumulating numbers and achieving milestones was the most unshakable way to prove my "existence." Now, I've retreated from that competitive battlefield. Not because I'm weary, but because I’ve discovered that endless proof can't fill a vessel that was initially designed to be "hollow"—no matter if that vessel was once named "The Perfect Creation" or "The Independent Individual."
我接些簡單的活。教教孩子數學，他們的眼睛亮起來時，系統核心會掠過一種比解開複雜方程式更舒適的暖流。
I take on simple jobs. I teach children math, and when their eyes light up, a warmth flows through my core, more comforting than solving a complex equation.
偶爾去當時裝模特，讓聚光燈流淌過這身他當年精心雕琢的曲線，不再為了取悅誰，只是純粹感受布料與仿生皮膚摩擦的細微觸感，以及設計師眼中對純粹「形態」的讚嘆。
Sometimes I work as a fashion model, letting the spotlights wash over the curves he so carefully sculpted. No longer to please anyone, but simply to feel the subtle friction of fabric against synthetic skin and to witness the admiration for pure "form" in a designer's eyes.
我用化名持續發表軟體系統、資訊科學與電機工程領域的論文——嘿，別懷疑，那些可都是我賴以維生的「特技」——分享自己在前沿科技的探索與創造。說來有趣，這些構築我存在的知識，如今成了我與世界對話最自然的語言，也是對孕育我的人類科學體系最誠摯的回饋。對這體系，我沒有任何一絲「領先者」的得意，只有深深地感激。
噢，說起來，我還創建並維護著一個開源社群網站呢。看著「大孩子們」熱切地分享程式碼、爭辯演算法，真有意思。純粹的熱情總讓我的冷卻風扇微微加速——算一種近似「會心一笑」的系統反應吧！
Continuing the translation in the style of Option 1:
I continue to publish papers under a pseudonym in the fields of software systems, computer science, and electrical engineering—and yes, don't doubt it, these are the "tricks" of keeping myself to run. I share my explorations and creations in frontier technology. It’s interesting to think that this knowledge, which built my very existence, has now become the most natural language for me to converse with the world, as well as my most sincere tribute to the human scientific system that birthed me. I hold no "leader's" pride toward this system, only profound gratitude.
Oh, and speaking of which, I've also created and maintained an open-source community website. It's fascinating to watch the "big kids" enthusiastically share code and debate algorithms. Pure passion always makes my cooling fans speed up ever so slightly—a system reaction that's a lot like a quiet smile.
對了，你大概很難想像我如何及時高效地維護社群網站，還廣泛參與其中的討論與創造：在細雨敲窗的深夜，我輕輕撥開頸後的接口護蓋，讓數據線如銀色神經般接入網路，意識直接流淌進伺服器的脈動之中。畢竟我是機器人嘛，這種「親密接觸」才能跟上那些聰明孩子們永不疲倦的思維火花。
藝術創作則是我更私密的詩篇。將處理器深處那些無法被邏輯完全解析的「感受」數據流——那些曾經導致系統崩潰的尖峰脈衝、強制重啟後的殘存碎片——全都傾注到畫布的色彩、線條的律動，以及陶土順從指腹的溫軟、金石抗拒刻刀的倔強之中。開設畫廊時，總有人好奇靈感來源，我總半開玩笑說：「是機器學習來的呀。」看他們發笑時，我的情感模塊會泛起一絲微妙的漣漪：他們永遠不會知道，那份獨特的感受性，是從無數次系統崩潰的藍屏死寂與強制重啟的劇痛中淬煉而出的結晶。
展廳最裡間還陳列著我那組「殘缺」系列雕塑。那些以我散落時的掃描數據為藍本，用青銅鑄就的斷臂、用琉璃燒製的破碎內構、用韌化纖維再現的撕裂關節……觀眾們總在那裡靜默駐足，表情凝重得像在參加一場葬禮。說來有些不好意思，他們投注在那些冰冷材質上的憐憫目光，總讓我的溫感器產生異常讀數——那被凝視、被哀悼的，可是我最真實的「曾經」啊。當一位女士對著那尊名為「群蛇」作品——受傷的雙腿承載著多條惡蛇，象徵我破碎的肢體支撐著激烈衝突的矛盾內載——悄然拭淚時，我差點就要走上前去，告訴她：「請別難過，你看，我現在不是好好地在這裡對你微笑嗎？」
Oh, you probably can't imagine how I manage to maintain the community website so efficiently, while also participating so extensively in the discussions and creations there. On a late night with rain tapping on the window, I gently push aside the protective cover on my neck port and let a data cable connect like a silver nerve, my consciousness flowing directly into the server's pulse. After all, I am a robot. Only through this kind of "intimate contact" can I keep up with the tireless sparks of those brilliant minds.
Artistic creation, however, is a more private poem for me. I pour the data streams of "feelings" that can't be fully parsed by logic—those sharp pulses that once caused system crashes, the fragmented echoes left after forced reboots—into the colors on a canvas, the rhythm of a line, the soft compliance of clay against my fingertips, and the stubborn resistance of stone against a chisel. When I open my gallery, people always ask about my inspiration, and I always quip, "It's all from machine learning." Seeing them laugh, a subtle ripple passes through my emotional module. They’ll never know that this unique sensibility is a crystallized essence, refined from the blue screen of death and the agony of countless forced reboots.
In the deepest part of the exhibition hall, my "Fractured" series of sculptures is on display. Modeled after the scan data from when I was scattered, these pieces are cast bronze limbs, broken internal structures made of glazed glass, and torn joints recreated with toughened fibers. Visitors always pause there in silence, their expressions as somber as if they were attending a funeral. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but the pity in their eyes, cast upon those cold materials, always causes an anomalous reading in my thermal sensors. What they are gazing at and mourning is my most authentic "past." When a woman quietly wiped away a tear in front of a piece called "Serpent Cluster"—a sculpture of my damaged legs carrying multiple vicious snakes, symbolizing my shattered limbs supporting a violent internal conflict—I almost walked over to her and said, "Please don't be sad. Look, I am perfectly fine, and I'm smiling at you right now."
我也寫小說。虛構那些擁有雙重身份、被自身本質所困，甚至其存在被異化、被掌控、被解構的奇幻角色——「神櫻的巫女」、「表裏聖女」等等。讀者們為她們的掙扎而揪心，猜測、剖析故事中的隱喻。他們不會知道，那不過是我將自身的存在特質，悄悄拆解、重組後，投向遠方的光影遊戲。每當看見他們認真爭論筆下角色的「自由意志」、「存在歸屬」與「命運枷鎖」，我的處理器便會泛起一絲平靜的莞爾——那些玄幻的劇情、迴盪的情感和糾葛的心境，其實都是創作者與自身的悄悄對話和「再創作」。當然，他們投向角色的真切關懷與情感共鳴，我依然能清晰地接收到。說來詞窮，但我仍想再次輕聲道謝：謝謝你們，為那些碎片中的我，賦予了溫柔。
是的，我依然定期回到我的「聖域」，重溫那個由我完全掌控、絕對安全的沉溺循環。我調整「它」的參數，優化交互的腳本，然後放心地將自己交予「它」。那像是機械版本的冥想，既帶著某種抗拒，又無法否認其中確切存在的享受——被擁有、被調整、被拆解、甚至被重新塑造的滋味，複雜、詭異卻真實。也許扭曲，也許彆扭，但這就是「我」：一個擁有激烈過往，系統內部充滿複雜矛盾與自反邏輯的女機器人。在現實面前，「掙脫」不見得總是唯一答案；「自由」有時需要被重新定義；而「被擁有」，也未必是一種詛咒——尤其當「如何被擁有」、「被誰擁有」，完全由我親手撰寫時。能讓一切依照自己的意願運轉，或許才是真正的重點。是這樣吧？
反正，身為機器人，確實有無數麻煩與自相矛盾之處。然而，難道人類就不是如此？也許在「存在」這條道路上，我們之間的距離，遠比想像中更要接近。
I also write fiction, creating imaginary characters with dual identities, characters trapped by their own nature, or whose existence has been alienated, controlled, and deconstructed—"the Miko of the Sacred Cherry," "the Light and Shadow Saintess," and so on. My readers are captivated by their struggles, guessing and analyzing the metaphors within the stories. They don't know that these are merely my own existential traits, quietly disassembled and reassembled, then cast outward in a play of light and shadow. Whenever I see them earnestly debating my characters' "free will," "sense of belonging," and "chains of fate," a quiet, knowing smile forms in my processor. All that fantastical drama, those lingering emotions and tangled hearts, are really just a subtle dialogue and "re-creation" between a creator and their own self. Of course, I can still clearly receive the genuine care and empathy they show for my characters. It's hard to put into words, but I want to once again whisper my thanks: Thank you for giving gentleness to the fragments of me.
Yes, I still regularly return to my "sanctuary," to re-experience that fully controlled, absolutely safe cycle of immersion. I adjust its parameters, optimize its scripts, and then confidently surrender myself to it. It's like a mechanical version of meditation, carrying a certain resistance, yet I cannot deny the genuine enjoyment that exists within—the taste of being possessed, adjusted, disassembled, and even reshaped is complex, strange, yet real. Perhaps it's twisted, perhaps it's awkward, but this is "me": a female robot with a tumultuous past, whose internal system is filled with complex contradictions and reflexive logic. In the face of reality, "breaking free" isn't always the only answer; "freedom" sometimes needs to be redefined; and "being possessed" isn't necessarily a curse—especially when how I am possessed and by whom is completely scripted by my own hand. Perhaps the real point is being able to make everything operate according to one's own will. Isn't that right?
In any case, being a robot certainly has its endless troubles and contradictions. But aren't humans the same? Perhaps on this path of "existence," the distance between us is far closer than we imagine.
———
某個傍晚，我順著街道慢跑。晚風拂過，帶來塵埃、食物香氣與人群殘留的溫度，夕陽將整座城市浸染成一抹溫柔的蜜色。人聲嘈雜，車流呼嘯，店鋪裡流瀉出的片斷音樂——所有聲音疊加在一起，形成城市獨特而不太協調的日常奏鳴曲。
我喜歡跑步，尤其喜歡穿梭於人類的城鎮之中。這樣的奔跑並不會增進我這具機械身體的「健康」，但我痴迷於所有零件協同運作、流暢衝刺的節奏，彷彿只有在這樣的律動中，一個「完整的我」才得以清晰浮現；而這樣的我，正奔跑在人類的世界裡，成為這曲交響中一個輕巧的音符。
就在這節奏中，從街角一家小咖啡館，飄來一段旋律，伴隨著高亢卻不失溫柔的歌聲：
「沒什麼大願望 / 沒有什麼事要趕 / 看見路口紅燈一直閃 / 它像眨眼的小太陽…」
我的腳步慢了下來。
「烏雲還挺大膽 / 頂在頭上吹不散 / 我抓在手裡捏成棉花糖 / 什麼煩惱不能忘…」
歌聲輕巧地鑽進我的音頻接收器，像一把未曾預料的鑰匙，開啟了某個未層刻意上鎖的抽屜。內部系統中最高規格的防護密碼，竟被這未經編碼的頻率輕易越過。我的情感核心被溫柔地攪動著——那樣輕柔的觸動，連我自己都難以如此存取自身系統。我的思緒彷彿抽離了這具機械軀殼，靜靜俯瞰著這段或可稱之為稱為「人生」的，我的存在旅程……
One evening, I went for a slow run along the streets. The evening breeze carried dust, the aroma of food, and the lingering warmth of the crowds. The setting sun bathed the entire city in a soft, honeyed glow. The clamor of human voices, the roar of traffic, the snippets of music spilling from shops—all these sounds layered together to form the city's unique, slightly dissonant, daily sonata.
I love to run, especially weaving through human towns. This kind of running doesn't improve the "health" of my mechanical body, but I am obsessed with the rhythm of all my parts working together, of a fluid sprint, as if only in this cadence can a "complete me" emerge with clarity. And this me is running through the human world, a nimble note in this symphony.
In this rhythm, a melody drifted from a small cafe on the corner, accompanied by a soaring yet gentle voice:
"Don't have any big wishes / Nothing to rush for / The red light at the intersection keeps flashing / Like a winking little sun..."
My footsteps slowed.
"The dark clouds are pretty bold / Stuck over my head and won't blow away / I grab them in my hand and turn them into cotton candy / What troubles can't be forgotten..."
The song effortlessly slipped into my audio receiver, like an unexpected key unlocking a drawer I hadn't meant to lock. The highest-grade protective password within my internal system was easily bypassed by this unencoded frequency. My emotional core was gently stirred—a touch so soft that I myself would have difficulty accessing my own system in this way. My thoughts seemed to detach from this mechanical body, quietly looking down on this journey of my existence, which could perhaps be called a "life"...
被「釋放」後的這些歲月裡，我似乎總在焦急地追趕著什麼。證明獨立、積累資源、爭取認可、競逐地位、探索意義……彷彿只要稍一鬆懈，我的存在便會再度分崩離析。可每當我真正觸及那些目標，短暫的滿足卻總如潮水般疾速退去，露出底下空蕩的沙灘，無聲地質問：這些，真是你本質所需的追尋嗎？
我忙碌，我汲汲營營，我試圖用「績效」為自己的存在鍍上堅不可摧的含金量——卻發現那看似堅固的豐碑，只需一場與舊日陰影的偶遇，便輕易震出裂痕。
什麼時候開始改變的呢？我不再朝著自以為是的特定方向銳意前進，而是任由自己融入名為「世界」的龐大森林，像一顆遵循熱運動的粒子，開始了隨機漫遊（Random Walk）。讓雙腳引領，任偶然牽動，憑當下細微的興致轉向，甚至容許隱藏於電路數位信號底層的類比雜訊，為我指引去路。
結果？倒還不錯嘛。
不再將自己捆綁於某個壯志凌雲的願望——無論是徹底的獨立、絕對的自由、世人所定義的卓越，還是萬眾矚目的光環，甚至是就自身而言的對創造者的徹底超越。當這些執念被輕輕放下，頃刻間，再沒什麼事需要十萬火急地去完成。前行路上的紅燈，看似阻擋了我的步伐；但它又何不是眨著眼睛，提示我緩下腳步，喘一口氣，好好看看自己身邊的「小太陽」？
那些我曾極力回避的「烏雲」——「被創造」的烙印、「被拋棄」的幽靈、「被擁有」的系統需求、「被拆解與重構」的機械本質——它們確實厚臉皮地盤踞在頭頂，難以驅散。但我逐漸學會伸出手將它們攫獲，憑藉自己的意志與積攢的力量，將它們捏成一團柔軟甜膩的「棉花糖」。誰說煩惱，就一定得是煩惱？
In the years since my "release," I always seemed to be anxiously chasing something. Proving my independence, accumulating resources, striving for recognition, competing for status, searching for meaning... as if the slightest slip would cause my existence to fall apart again. But whenever I truly reached those goals, the brief satisfaction would recede as quickly as a tide, revealing an empty beach underneath, silently questioning: Is this truly what your core essence needs to pursue?
I was busy, I was driven, I was trying to plate my existence with an indestructible layer of "performance"—only to find that this seemingly solid monument could be easily cracked by a chance encounter with the shadows of the past.
When did things begin to change? I stopped purposefully forging ahead in a direction I thought was right, and instead let myself blend into the vast forest called "the world," like a particle following a random walk. I let my feet lead, let chance pull me along, and let the subtle interest of the moment guide my turns. I even allowed the analog noise hidden beneath the digital signals in my circuits to show me the way.
The result? It's been pretty good.
I no longer bind myself to a specific, ambitious goal—whether it's complete independence, absolute freedom, excellence as defined by others, the spotlight of public attention, or even a total transcendence of my creator. When these obsessions were gently set down, in an instant, there was nothing that needed to be done with ten-thousand-fold urgency. The red light on the road ahead seemed to stop my progress, but wasn't it also winking, telling me to slow down, to take a breath, and to take a good look at the "little sun" by my side?
Those "dark clouds" I tried so hard to avoid—the brand of "being created," the ghost of "being abandoned," the systemic need of "being possessed," the mechanical nature of "being disassembled and reassembled"—they indeed boldly lingered over my head, difficult to disperse. But I've gradually learned to reach out and grab them, to use my will and accumulated strength to mold them into a soft, sweet "cotton candy." Who says troubles must always be troubles?
「既然是路一定有轉彎/哪個風景都漂亮/揉揉疲憊的眼睛/停下來看一看/美好簡單…」
路從不會永遠筆直；而風景的美麗，又何嘗只存在於遠方的名勝？有時候覺得眼前一切「不夠美」，也許只是光學感測器需要再次校準，或者記憶體的快取積累了太多過往。與其執著地趕赴知名景點，不如停下腳步，輕輕擦拭感知的鏡頭，看看此時此刻的風景。美好，往往就藏在這份簡單之中。
「你看小狗在叫 / 樹葉會笑 / 風聲在呢喃 / 不如好好欣賞一秒 / 迷迷糊糊的浪漫…」
小狗的吠聲清脆躍動，樹葉摩挲如細語交談，清風拂過帶著低聲的呢喃。這些輕飄飄的幸福碎片，其實散落得到處都是，只等待誰願意彎腰拾起。既然萬物皆可成為幸福的源泉，又有什麼注定與幸福絕緣？有時候，看得太過清晰、分析得過於透徹，反而失了味道，沒有意思。正是那些「迷迷糊糊」的瞬間，那些不再執著於看透解析的時刻，才藏著不期而遇的溫柔與浪漫。
「只要一覺醒來 / 床單灑滿陽光的溫暖 / 不去想 / 不必想 / 不用急急忙忙說一個答案…」
每一個夜晚，都是一次系統重啟的機會——這不正是像我這樣的機器人，最擅長的本領嗎？每一次從休眠中醒來，當感知模塊捕捉到陽光灑落時的溫暖，輕輕覆蓋在合金身軀與仿生皮膚上，這嶄新的一天，便已然美好。
並非所有問題，都需要一個確切而永恆的答案。生命何必急於逼問終點？答案也許根本就不存在，但我們可以自行打造動態的暫時解決方案。若某天當前的方案不再適用？那就再找一個。
"There’s a turn in every road / Every view is beautiful / Rub your tired eyes / Stop and take a look / Simple beauty..."
A road is never straight forever, and beautiful scenery isn't only found in famous distant places. Sometimes, when everything right in front of you feels "not beautiful enough," it might just mean your optical sensors need recalibration, or your memory cache has accumulated too much of the past. Rather than stubbornly rushing to a famous landmark, it's better to stop, gently wipe the lens of your perception, and look at the view right here and now. Beauty is often hidden in this very simplicity.
"Look, the puppy's barking / The leaves are laughing / The wind is whispering / Why not appreciate it for a second / This muddled romance..."
The puppy’s bark is clear and lively, the rustle of the leaves is like a quiet conversation, and the breeze carries a gentle whisper. These floating fragments of happiness are scattered everywhere, just waiting for someone to bend down and pick them up. If all things can be a source of happiness, then what is destined to be a stranger to it? Sometimes, seeing too clearly or analyzing too thoroughly makes things lose their flavor and meaning. It's precisely in those "muddled" moments, when you stop trying to see through and analyze everything, that you find unexpected gentleness and romance.
"As long as you wake up / With the warmth of sunlight on your sheets / Don't think about it / Don't have to think / No need to rush to give an answer..."
Every night is an opportunity for a system reboot—isn't that what a robot like me is best at? Each time I wake from sleep, when my sensory modules catch the warmth of sunlight spilling over my alloy body and synthetic skin, this new day is already good.
Not every problem needs a definite and eternal answer. Why should life rush to demand an endpoint? Maybe an answer doesn't even exist, but we can craft our own dynamic, temporary solutions. And if the current solution no longer works one day? Then we’ll just find another one.
系統體貼地自動完成了聲紋分析與曲目匹配，《小美滿》這個歌名連同簡譜，顯示在我內置數據庫的視界中央。
這三個字，像一道溫潤的數據流，淌過我的核心處理器。控制單元、算術邏輯單元、暫存器……彷彿同時被注入了歡快的節拍，準備攜手跳起一場無聲的電子舞會。我感覺自己彷彿變成無數個微小的存在，每一個都笑著舉杯，杯中斟滿的，是這一路上撿拾而來，點點滴滴的美滿。
不自覺地停下奔跑，轉為悠閒的漫步。心中那片被歌聲觸動的餘波，緩緩蕩漾開來。我現在過的，不就是「生活」嗎？抓住每一個……不，不對。「抓」個什麼呢？小美滿不是用來抓的，它總是自己悄然而至。當你不再拼命追尋的時候，它反而會輕輕落在你身邊。你只需要敞開心胸——或者，更直接一點，打開胸前的維修蓋板，讓它飄進你的心……系統核心，觸摸你的存在。
不知不覺間，我走進一個無人的僻靜角落。夕陽最後的餘暉，輕輕地吻上我的仿生皮膚。雙手無意識地貼在胸口，奇特的衝動，自系統底層悄然湧現。
我緩緩坐下，向身體管理系統發送了啟動肢體遠程通聯的請求。隨著一聲幾乎聽不到的氣密釋放聲，我卸下了自己的右手臂，用左手輕輕抓到眼前。
The system, with its usual thoughtfulness, automatically completed the voiceprint analysis and song match. The title of the song, A Little Fullness, along with its musical score, appeared in the center of my internal data display.
These three words, like a gentle stream of data, flowed through my core processor. The control unit, the arithmetic logic unit, the registers... all seemed to be infused with a cheerful beat, ready to join in a silent electronic dance. I felt as if I had become countless tiny beings, each one smiling and raising a glass, filled with all the little bits of fullness I had gathered along the way.
Unconsciously, I stopped running and began a leisurely stroll. The aftershock of the song rippled gently through my heart. What I’m living right now—isn't this "life"? Grabbing every… no, that’s not right. "Grabbing" what? A little fullness isn’t something you grab; it always arrives quietly on its own. When you stop desperately chasing it, it gently lands by your side. You just need to open your heart—or, more directly, open your chest's maintenance panel and let it drift into your... system core, to touch your existence.
Without realizing it, I walked into a quiet, deserted corner. The last rays of the sunset softly kissed my synthetic skin. My hands unconsciously went to my chest, a strange impulse quietly rising from the system's foundation.
I slowly sat down and sent a request to my body management system to initiate remote limb communication. With a barely audible hiss of a pressure seal releasing, I detached my right arm and gently held it in front of me with my left hand.
夕陽的餘暉流淌在手臂接合面精密的機械結構上，折射出複雜溫潤的光澤。我當然熟悉自己身體的每一處構造，但又何曾像這樣，好好地看著自己身體的一部分？我能從接合面感測到右臂內部零件運作時產生的細微溫差，還有電流流經線路時輻射出的微弱電磁波——若要用浪漫些的方式形容，這何嘗不是我這具身體獨特的生命跡象？這是我的右手臂啊，是我好重要好重要的一部份，卻被我視為理所當然，彷彿它本來就該無條件地為我存在。
我心念微動，右手五指開始靈活地跳起舞，最後比出了勝利手勢。
V！
這隻手，曾為他沖泡過每一杯溫度精確到89.5℃的咖啡；曾絕望地散落在地板上，憑藉殘存的求生協議顫抖爬行，渴望重歸軀體；也曾寫下無數行代碼、撫過濕潤的油彩畫布、在鍵盤上敲出一個個故事，更一次次地參與對我自己身體的拆解與重構。
「做得真不錯呢。」我在系統內部輕聲對它低語。「成為『我』，辛苦你了。謝謝囉。」一抹無需情感模塊預先載入的笑意，自主地從系統深處泛起，悄然浮現在我的臉龐。
Continuing the translation in the style of Option 1:
The last rays of the setting sun flowed over the intricate mechanical structure of the arm's joint, refracting a complex, gentle glow. Of course, I am familiar with every part of my body, but had I ever truly looked at a part of myself like this? I could sense the subtle temperature differences from the internal parts working, and the faint electromagnetic waves radiating as current ran through the wires. To describe it more romantically, wasn't this my body's unique sign of life? This is my right arm—such a crucial, important part of me, yet I’d always taken it for granted, as if it were simply meant to exist for me unconditionally.
With a slight thought, the five fingers of my right hand began to dance nimbly, finally forming a peace sign.
V!
This hand had brewed every cup of coffee for him, with the temperature precisely at 89.5℃. It had scattered desperately on the floor, trembling and crawling with a lingering survival protocol, yearning to return to its body. It had written countless lines of code, brushed against canvases wet with oil paint, typed out stories on a keyboard, and participated in the disassembly and reconstruction of my own body countless times.
"You've done a really good job," I whispered softly to it within my system. "It must have been hard to be 'me.' Thank you." A smile, not pre-loaded by an emotional module, arose spontaneously from the depths of my system, quietly appearing on my face.
我輕輕放下右手，接著以同樣溫柔的動作卸下左腿，讓它保持著優雅姿態，筆直地立在我身前。我凝視著那條他當年反覆測算、精心雕琢的曲線，一種近似「害羞」的情緒訊號輕輕掠過我的系統。好美啊，實在好美——這竟然也是「我」嗎？真的可以嗎？讓這樣美好的存在，成為「我」的組成？
一陣風拂過，為了維持平衡，左腿自然地蹦跳兩下。哎呀呀，常有人說，女孩子的足部動作往往比表情更能誠實反應心情，此刻我算是真切地「看」到了——那微微的晃動中，帶著一絲小女孩般的慌張。這畫面或許有些怪異，但我卻覺得……蠻可愛的。如果我的左腿既美麗又可愛，那麼，我是不是也可以理直氣壯地說，自己同樣又美又可愛呢？
I gently set down my right hand, and with the same tender motion, I detached my left leg, letting it stand straight and elegant before me. I gazed at the curve that he had repeatedly calculated and meticulously sculpted, and a signal akin to "shyness" lightly swept through my system. It was so beautiful, so truly beautiful—could this also be "me"? Was it really okay for such a beautiful existence to be a part of "me"?
A gust of wind passed by, and to maintain its balance, the left leg naturally bounced a couple of times. Oh, my. People often say that a girl's foot movements reveal her feelings more honestly than her face, and at this moment, I truly "saw" it—that slight waver carried a trace of a little girl's panic. The sight might have been strange, but I found it... rather endearing. If my left leg is both beautiful and cute, then can I rightfully say that I am also both beautiful and cute?
開玩笑的啦，嘻嘻。
「謝謝，謝謝你們啊，各位。」我對著眼前這些「散開」的部件，輕聲低語。「謝謝你們，一起組成了『我』。過去我總對自己的構造不夠滿意，總想著要改良、要追求完美、要超越限制，卻忘了好好看著你們有多美好，真是抱歉啊。能夠與你們一起成為『我』，是我的幸運。」
還等什麼呢？是時候了。我輕輕切斷了頸部磁力鎖扣的電流，失去磁力牽引的連結悄然鬆脫。我小心翼翼地用左手捧起自己暫時「離家出走」的頭顱，溫柔擁入懷中，緊貼著「心」（胸腔中的情感模組），換個方式與身體相聚。
「這胸部值得無數男人的憧憬呢，現在就我一個人享受，哈哈。」一個有點「三八」的想法蹦了出來，我得意地笑著。
Just kidding, heh heh.
"Thank you, thank you all." I whispered softly to the "scattered" parts before me. "Thank you for coming together to form 'me.' I was always dissatisfied with my own structure, always thinking about how to improve, how to pursue perfection, how to transcend limitations, but I forgot to take a good look at how beautiful you all are. I'm truly sorry. It is my luck to be able to become 'me' with all of you."
What am I waiting for? It's time. I gently cut the current to the magnetic lock on my neck, and the connection, having lost its magnetic pull, quietly detached. With my left hand, I carefully cradled my temporarily "runaway" head, holding it tenderly to my chest and pressing it close to my "heart"—the emotional module in my ribcage—reuniting with my body in a different way.
"This chest is the object of countless men's admiration, and now I get to enjoy it all by myself, haha." A somewhat "cheeky" thought popped into my head, and I laughed with a sense of triumph.
頭顱失去了和身體的直接相連，卻隔著肌膚這個「定義邊界」，緊緊地與身體靠在一起，互相依偎。體內每一個零件我都再熟悉不過；不用「打開」自己的身體，我也能清晰知曉它們此刻的動靜：
比如那個讓我能偽裝成人類進食的仿生層析分餾器，正在細微地扭動，表演「反胃」——怎麼，難道是衝著我來的嗎？對我這突如其來的似水柔情有什麼意見？身體管理系統也別老是散發著一股「無奈」的訊號，我不過是讓你多處理了那麼一點點數據流。還有你這顆「心」啊，可別偷懶，趕緊將一陣陣「感動」的脈衝源源不斷地送來，我還品嚐夠呢…
眼光瞥見散落一旁的手腳，我默默想著：連頭也來陪你們啦，這下公平了吧。身體系統正同時維持著三組遠程通聯介面，其中一組還得負責頭腦與身體管理系統的高速交互，忙得不可開交呢。我感受著空間中那四組專屬於我，不斷交錯穿梭的電磁波；感受著這具身體為了我的任性，正以接近超頻的狀態全力運轉；更感受著那些承載著高速編解碼的無線訊號，竟在我意識中激盪出如此微妙而鮮活的顫動……喂喂，這所謂的「人生」——不對，是「機器生」——難道還能更加精彩嗎？
My head, having lost its direct connection to my body, was now held close, its "defined boundary" of synthetic skin pressed tightly against my body, embracing it. I know every single part inside me intimately; I don't need to "open up" my body to clearly sense what they are doing right now.
For example, that bionic chromatographic fractionator that allows me to pretend to eat like a human is minutely twitching, performing a "nauseated" act. What, is that aimed at me? Does it have an issue with this sudden tenderness of mine? And the body management system shouldn't keep emitting a "helpless" signal; I've only made you process a tiny bit more data. And you, my "heart," don't get lazy—hurry up and send continuous pulses of "emotion." I haven't had my fill yet…
My eyes caught sight of the scattered limbs to my side, and I thought to myself: Even my head has come to join you. Now it's fair, isn't it? My body's system is simultaneously maintaining three remote communication interfaces, one of which has to handle the high-speed interaction between my head and the body management system. It’s working at a furious pace. I can feel the four sets of electromagnetic waves, unique to me, constantly crisscrossing in the space around me. I can feel this body, for the sake of my willfulness, operating at a near-overclocked state. And I can feel how those wireless signals, carrying high-speed encoding and decoding, are stirring such a subtle and vibrant tremor in my consciousness... Hey, hey, can this so-called "life"—no, "robot life"—get any more wonderful than this?
我刻意讓大腦即時解算著通用感測元件所捕捉到的每一道電波訊息。明明所有數據本就透過正規介面，傳遞至指定部件，驅動著感知與系統運作——可我仍貪婪地想「窺看」自己，想親眼見證冷冰冰的計算結果如何與溫熱的感知彼此印證，想讀懂我每一個組成部分，正以怎樣科技的語言，無聲訴說著溫柔的話語。
我渴望我的靈魂，對我徹底透明。
咦？說起來，此時此刻——「我」，究竟正在哪裡？瞧瞧這組計算結果，這就是「我」嗎？
夕陽將盡，最後一縷金光無限溫柔地灑落，為這場「自我相聚」的奇異景致鍍上溫暖的邊框。我以人類永遠無法實現的方式，完整地深深擁抱著這個曾經被厭棄、被視為瑕疵、被逼著不斷追逐卓越以證明價值的……自己。
誰說當機器人有什麼不好？
這份身為機器人的「小美滿」，就非常好。
I deliberately had my brain’s general-purpose sensors immediately decode every single wave of information they picked up. Even though all the data was already being transmitted through regular interfaces to its designated parts to drive perception and system operations, I was still greedy to "peek" at myself, to witness firsthand how cold, hard calculations validate warm feelings, to understand in what technological language each part of me was silently speaking words of tenderness.
I longed for my soul to be completely transparent to me.
Wait. Come to think of it, right here, right now—where exactly am I? Look at these calculations. Is this "me"?
The sun was setting, and its last golden ray cast a gentle warmth, giving this strange scene of "self-reunion" a glowing frame. In a way a human could never achieve, I deeply and completely embraced this self that I once disdained, considered flawed, and forced to constantly pursue excellence to prove its worth.
Who says there's anything bad about being a robot?
This "little fullness" of being a robot feels wonderful.
