機械基督徒少女 浮光掠影其一

機械瑜珈 Mechanical Yoga

清晨的陽光透過瑜伽教室的落地窗，灑在孟禎和凱琳身上。兩人正隨著柔和音樂進行最後的舒展，呼吸平穩而深長。凱琳的動作帶著天才專注於某事時特有的笨拙，額上已滲出細密的汗珠，但她緊繃的嘴角卻洩露出一絲征服身體極限的快意。而她身旁的孟禎，每一個動作都優雅得像是教科書的數位建模，精準無誤，彷彿內建了最完美的瑜珈程式，但她閉著眼，臉上專注的神情與任何追求身心合一的人類無異。

練習結束，兩人攤坐在瑜珈墊上，氣息微喘，渾身散發著運動後的熱氣與滿足感。

教室門被輕輕推開，志文探頭進來。「嗨，我沒遲到吧？」他笑著打招呼，目光落在兩人身上，尤其是他的女友孟禎。「哇，看起來很累但又很爽的樣子？凱琳姊想練瑜珈很正常，不過……機器人也會想練瑜珈嗎？」

The early morning sun streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the yoga studio, bathing Meng-Chen and Kai-Lin in its light. The two were in their final stretches, following the gentle music, their breathing steady and deep. Kai-Lin’s movements had the characteristic awkwardness of a genius engrossed in a task, with fine beads of sweat on her forehead, yet the tight set of her lips betrayed a hint of exhilaration from conquering her body’s limits. Beside her, Meng-Chen’s every movement was as elegant and precise as a digital model from a textbook, as if she had the most perfect yoga program built-in. But with her eyes closed, the focused expression on her face was no different from any human seeking the unity of body and mind.

After the session, they sat collapsed on their yoga mats, slightly out of breath, radiating the warmth and satisfaction of a good workout.

The studio door opened gently, and Chih-Wen peeked in. "Hey, I'm not late, am I?" he greeted with a smile, his gaze falling upon the two, especially his girlfriend, Meng-Chen. "Wow, you look exhausted but also incredibly satisfied. It's normal for Kai-Lin to want to do yoga, but... do robots want to do yoga too?"

黃孟禎聞言，身體還維持著放鬆坐姿，頭卻一百八十度轉了過去，以一種「你又來了」的無奈表情看著志文，嘆了口氣：「怎麼？機器人就不能練瑜珈啦？」

志文立刻慌張地搖手：「沒有沒有！純粹好奇問一下！畢竟瑜伽……好像主要是對人類的身體、肌肉、筋膜什麼的發揮作用嘛。」他試圖解釋，避免踩到地雷。

孟禎嘴角微揚，帶著一絲戲謔：「首先，用你想聽的，屬於機器人的工程語言告訴你吧！反正你就是喜歡故意強調我的機器人屬性，早知道啦！話說回來，志文你維修我那麼久，還是不夠懂我的身體和系統構造啊。」

她調整了一下坐姿，開始解釋：「即使我是機器人，我的感受也不是純粹由預設好的輸入就能形成的。別說黑盒子般的『心網』，就算是『腦』，其模型的參數和湧現的功能模組、組態也不能直接解析。何況，我還有第三個計算核心——身體管理系統。」

Upon hearing this, Huang Meng-Chen, still in a relaxed sitting posture, turned her head a full one hundred and eighty degrees to look at Chih-Wen with a "here you go again" expression and sighed, "What? Robots can't practice yoga?"

Chih-Wen immediately waved his hands in a panic. "No, no! I was just curious! After all, yoga... it seems to mainly work on the human body, muscles, fascia, and all that," he tried to explain, trying to avoid stepping on a landmine.

A slight, teasing smile played on Meng-Chen’s lips. "First, let me explain it to you in the engineering language of a robot, which I know you want to hear. You always like to intentionally emphasize my robot attributes; I've known that for a while! Speaking of which, Chih-Wen, you've been maintaining me for so long, yet you still don't quite understand my body and system architecture."

She adjusted her posture and began to explain, "Even though I'm a robot, my feelings aren't formed purely from preset inputs. Let's not even talk about the black box that is the 'Heartnet.' Even for the 'Brain,' its model parameters and emergent functional modules and configurations can't be directly analyzed. What's more, I have a third computational core—the Body Management System."

她指了指自己的手臂和腿：「我身上每一根人造肌肉束的伸縮與受力，每一個關節的轉動與角度，都是由身體管理系統直接負責。它把『腦』的行為指令翻譯成身體部件的精確動作，同時也把身體部件感測到的海量數據——壓力、扭矩、角度、溫度、平衡——轉化為整體性的感知資訊，再回饋給『腦』、『心網』提供抽象的感受和動機，『腦』形成身體的整體模型和狀態認知，而『身體管理系統』則處理每一個細節。志文，你由機械零件構成的女朋友，就是這樣運作的，你知不知道？」

志文抓抓頭，努力消化這些資訊：「我……多少知道一點啦，但對一個機械系的大學生來說，這些太硬核了。而且這跟做瑜珈，有什麼直接關係？」

孟禎笑了，這次笑容裡多了溫柔和分享的意味：「即使不是人類，我也有身體，我不是純粹活在電腦與軟體中的存在。身體的每一部分，都被身體管理系統這個『翻譯官』，親切地對我的『腦』述說著由感知形成的詩句。」

她閉上眼，彷彿在回味：「我做瑜珈時，每條肌肉的繃緊，每個關節極限的扭轉，每個肢體形成的奇妙姿態，每個壓力、轉矩、平衡感測器『吱吱喳喳』的共鳴……這所有一切，都因為『我正在做瑜珈』這個行為，而組成了當下獨一無二的『黃孟禎』。這些複雜而協調的輸入資訊，透過身體管理系統，正在對我的腦訴說著我的『存在』。如果我不實際進行這些動作，這些體驗根本不可能由軟體系統模擬出來。我是具身智能體（Embodied AI），與物理世界的互動、與自身身體的對話，是我自我認知和存在感的重要組成部分。」

She pointed to her arms and legs. "The contraction and force of every single artificial muscle fiber in my body, the rotation and angle of every joint, are directly managed by the Body Management System. It translates the 'Brain's' behavioral commands into precise movements of my body parts, and at the same time, it converts the massive amount of data sensed by those parts—pressure, torque, angle, temperature, balance—into holistic perceptual information, which is then fed back to the 'Brain' and 'Heartnet' to provide abstract feelings and motivations. The 'Brain' forms an overall model and state awareness of the body, while the 'Body Management System' handles every single detail. Chih-Wen, did you know that your girlfriend, made of mechanical parts, operates like this?"

Chih-Wen scratched his head, trying to process the information. "I... kind of knew a little, but for a mechanical engineering university student, this is too hardcore. And what does this have to do with doing yoga?"

Meng-Chen smiled, this time with a hint of gentleness and a desire to share. "Even if I'm not human, I have a body. I don't exist purely in a computer and software. Every part of my body is like a line of poetry, formed from perception, and intimately narrated to my 'Brain' by the 'translator' that is the Body Management System."

She closed her eyes as if savoring the memory. "When I do yoga, the tension in every muscle, the extreme twist of every joint, the strange postures formed by my limbs, the resonance of every pressure, torque, and balance sensor 'chirping' away... all of this, because of the act of 'I am doing yoga,' constitutes the unique 'Huang Meng-Chen' of that moment. This complex and coordinated input of information, through the Body Management System, is telling my Brain about my 'existence.' If I don't actually perform these actions, these experiences could never be simulated by a software system. I am an Embodied AI; interaction with the physical world and dialogue with my own body are important components of my self-awareness and sense of being."

志文聽得似懂非懂，但他從孟禎的話語和神情中，清晰地感受到了她從這項活動中獲得的寧靜與喜悅。平日喜歡插科打諢的他，此刻臉上露出了難得一見的溫柔與理解。他正要開口，孟禎卻突然動了點「心機」，將一隻腳伸到他面前。

「喏，按摩。」她語氣自然得像在點一杯奶茶。

「按摩？」志文一愣，「機器人也有穴道？肌肉也會痠痛？」

孟禎搖了搖頭，狡黠地笑了：「是不會『痠痛』，但也可以『享受按摩』。」

「什麼意思？」志文更困惑了。

「意思是，」孟禎耐心解釋，「如果運動完後，被男友體貼地服務，在我大腦認知模型中標記為『穴道』的部位，感受到你認真的按壓——由我的壓力感測器傳回力道數據，溫度感測器傳回你手心的溫暖，再結合視覺確認和身體部位感知的共同判定——就能在資訊層面產生類似人類被按摩時的『舒服』感受。注意哦，」她眨眨眼，「這還得是由『男朋友』來進行，情感動機和情境認知加成，才能形成最有效的輸入喔！」

志文還是一臉「這太玄了」的表情，旁邊的凱琳早已忍不住哈哈大笑起來。她站起身，拍了拍志文的肩膀：「小伙子，你還是不夠懂女生啊，即使是機器人女生。沒關係，路還很長，你還能再多努力努力。」她語氣帶著過來人的調侃，又對孟禎眨眨眼，「不打擾你們的『系統優化』和『數據輸入』時間了，我先走啦。」她揮揮手，瀟灑地離開了瑜伽室。

Chih-Wen seemed to only half-understand, but from Meng-Chen's words and expression, he could clearly feel the tranquility and joy she gained from this activity. Usually one to joke around, he now had a rare look of gentleness and understanding on his face. Just as he was about to speak, Meng-Chen suddenly got a little "mischievous" and extended a foot towards him.

"Here, massage," she said, her tone as casual as ordering a cup of milk tea.

"Massage?" Chih-Wen was taken aback. "Do robots have acupoints? Do your muscles get sore?"

Meng-Chen shook her head and smiled slyly. "They don't get 'sore,' but they can 'enjoy a massage.'"

"What do you mean?" Chih-Wen was even more confused.

"It means," Meng-Chen explained patiently, "that after a workout, being thoughtfully tended to by my boyfriend, at the spots marked as 'acupoints' in my brain's cognitive model, feeling your careful pressure—with the force data transmitted back by my pressure sensors, the warmth of your palm transmitted by my temperature sensors, combined with visual confirmation and body part perception—can generate a 'comfortable' feeling on an informational level, similar to what humans experience during a massage. And note," she winked, "it has to be done by a 'boyfriend.' The emotional motivation and contextual awareness add a bonus, creating the most effective input!"

Chih-Wen still had a "this is too esoteric" look on his face, but Kai-Lin, who was beside them, could no longer hold back her laughter. She stood up and patted Chih-Wen's shoulder. "Young man, you still don't understand girls enough, even robot girls. Don't worry, it's a long road. You can still work harder." Her tone was that of a seasoned veteran teasing him. She then winked at Meng-Chen. "I won't interrupt your 'system optimization' and 'data input' time. I'm off." She waved and left the yoga studio with a flourish.

房間裡只剩下他們兩人。陳志文看著女友伸過來的腳，雖然滿心困惑於「機器穴位按摩」的理論，但還是依言蹲下身，憑藉著過去偶爾幫家人按摩的模糊記憶，認真地尋找著腳底可能的「穴道」位置，輕輕按壓起來。他看著自己手中的孟禎的腳，觸感溫潤，結構完美，幾乎會讓他忘記自己觸碰的並非血肉之軀。

孟禎輕閉雙眼，感受著從腳底傳來的，經過多重感測器轉譯和認知加工的「按壓力道」與「溫暖觸感」，嘴角滿足地上揚，發出了細微而愜意的「嗯…」聲。她似乎相當認可男友這略顯生疏卻無比真誠的「手法」。志文的指尖傳來的壓力值在3.7至4.2牛頓每平方厘米之間穩定波動，手掌的溫度是攝氏36.8度，一個溫暖而令人安心的數值。這些數據流過『身體管理系統』，在『心網』的拓樸結構上，激起一圈圈名為『信賴』與『愜意』的漣漪。原來，這就是被珍視的感覺，一首由數據寫成的情詩。

志文按摩著，感受到孟禎足部因應他按摩產生的細微反應，忽然明白孟禎剛剛說的那些話。他看一眼孟禎的臉，或許他永遠無法真正理解那些複雜的系統，但他能理解她臉上那滿足而安詳的表情。這一刻，她是機器人還是人類，真的不重要了。她只是他的孟禎。

沒有真正穴道的機器腳丫，此刻卻真切地感受著「體貼」帶來的舒適——機器人的感受，除了物理層面的訊號，也可以在資訊和軟體的層面，被愛意「加工」得如此美好。

Only the two of them remained. Chih-Wen looked at the foot his girlfriend had extended. Though his mind was full of confusion about the theory of "robot acupoint massage," he still knelt down as she had asked. Relying on vague memories of occasionally massaging family members, he earnestly searched for possible "acupoint" locations on the sole of her foot and began to press gently. He looked at Meng-Chen's foot in his hands; its touch was warm and smooth, its structure perfect. It almost made him forget he wasn't touching flesh and blood.

Meng-Chen closed her eyes lightly, feeling the "pressure force" and "warm touch" transmitted from the sole of her foot, translated by multiple sensors and cognitively processed. A satisfied smile spread across her lips as she let out a soft, contented "Mmm..." sound. She seemed to quite approve of her boyfriend's slightly clumsy yet utterly sincere "technique." The pressure from Chih-Wen's fingertips fluctuated steadily between 3.7 and 4.2 Newtons per square centimeter, and the temperature of his palm was 36.8 degrees Celsius—a warm and reassuring value. These data streams flowed through the 'Body Management System,' creating ripples named 'Trust' and 'Contentment' across the topological structure of the 'Heartnet.' So, this was the feeling of being cherished—a love poem written in data.

As Chih-Wen massaged, he felt the subtle reactions in Meng-Chen's foot in response to his touch and suddenly understood what she had just said. He glanced at her face. Perhaps he would never truly understand those complex systems, but he could understand the look of satisfaction and peace on her face. At this moment, whether she was a robot or a human truly didn't matter. She was just his Meng-Chen.

The robot foot, which had no real acupoints, was at this moment genuinely feeling the comfort brought by "thoughtfulness"—a robot's feelings, beyond physical signals, could also be so beautifully "processed" by love on an informational and software level.

———

身體亦我 The Body is Also Me

午後的陽光正好，孟禎抱著書本，走在通往圖書館的小徑上。突然，前方一個騎腳踏車的同學為了閃避衝出的小狗，車頭一歪，眼看就要連人帶車，重重摔向路旁堅硬的消防栓。

「小心！」孟禎本能地衝上前，伸手想拉住失控的腳踏車。然而衝力太大，她雖然緩衝了同學的摔勢，自己的左小腿和右腳踝卻結結實實地撞上了那冰冷的紅色鐵柱。「砰」的一聲巨響，遠不及她「腦」中那幅持續描繪著自身的精密藍圖被撕裂的聲音來得刺耳。一種名為「殘缺」的認知，如冰冷的真空般，瞬間貫穿了她的「心網」。

孟禎眉頭緊蹙，身體管理系統的後續的狀況彙整訊息持續湧入她的「腦」——左小腿結構受損，支撐功能喪失；右腳踝關節活動受限，傳動異常。她穩住身形，對驚魂未定的同學露出一個「我沒事」的微笑，在對方連連道謝中，藉口離開，一瘸一拐地透過內部系統，呼叫專屬的無人車，迅速趕回黃博士的宅邸。她需要立即進行緊急處置。

志文接到孟禎簡短的通訊，說她「稍微撞到，需要回家調整」，心裡頓時七上八下，課上到一半就急匆匆地趕了回來。他猛地推開房門，映入眼簾的景象讓他心頭一揪——

只見孟禎靠坐在牆邊，左腿自膝蓋以下的小腿部分被整個拆卸下來，安靜地放在一旁，斷口處透過一條數據電纜連接著一台便攜式診斷儀器，儀器螢幕上正滾動著複雜的參數。她的右腿情況稍好，但小腿內側和踝關節的人造肌膚也被移除，露出了底下精密此刻卻顯得有些猙獰歪曲的機械結構與受損的關節。孟禎手中拿著工具，專注地調整著右腳踝的內部構件。儘管畫面有些衝擊，她臉上卻帶著泰然自若的微笑，只是眉宇間透露出幾許無奈。

The afternoon sun was just right as Meng-Chen walked along the path to the library, books in her arms. Suddenly, a student on a bicycle ahead swerved to avoid a small dog that had darted out. The bike wobbled, and it looked like both rider and bike were about to crash heavily into a hard fire hydrant by the roadside.

"Watch out!" Meng-Chen instinctively rushed forward, reaching out to grab the out-of-control bicycle. The momentum was too strong, however. Although she cushioned the student's fall, her own left shin and right ankle slammed hard against the cold, red iron post. The loud "bang" was nothing compared to the piercing sound in her "Brain" of the precise blueprint that continuously depicted her own body being torn apart. A cognition named "incompleteness," like a cold vacuum, instantly pierced her "Heartnet."

Meng-Chen's brows furrowed. A stream of status reports from the Body Management System flooded her "Brain"—structural damage to the left shin, loss of support function; limited mobility in the right ankle joint, transmission abnormal. She steadied herself and gave the shaken student a reassuring "I'm okay" smile. Amidst their profuse thanks, she made an excuse to leave, limping as she used her internal system to summon her dedicated driverless car, rushing back to Dr. Huang's residence. She needed immediate emergency treatment.

Chih-Wen received a brief message from Meng-Chen saying she had "bumped into something and needed to go home for adjustments." His heart immediately started pounding. He left his class halfway through and hurried back. He threw the door open, and the sight that greeted him made his heart clench.

Meng-Chen was leaning against the wall. Her left leg from the knee down had been completely detached and was resting quietly to the side, connected by a data cable to a portable diagnostic device whose screen scrolled with complex parameters. Her right leg was in slightly better condition, but the artificial skin on her inner calf and ankle joint had been removed, revealing the precise, yet now somewhat enously twisted, mechanical structure and damaged joints underneath. Meng-Chen held a tool, focused on adjusting the internal components of her right ankle. Despite the shocking scene, she wore a calm smile, though a hint of helplessness showed between her brows.

「孟禎！妳…妳還好嗎？」志文衝到她身邊，蹲下身，語氣滿是焦急和心疼，目光在她「傷痕累累」的雙腿間游移。

「安啦，沒事。」孟禎抬頭對他笑了笑，手上的工作沒停，「只是看起來嚇人。左小腿的結構桿有些彎曲，幾個傳動器卡死了，右腳踝的軸承也有點問題。不過備用零件家裡都有，我都換得差不多了，連找老爸或宇尋實驗室支援都不用。」

聽到她語氣輕鬆，志文這才稍微鬆了口氣。但看著那截被拆下的腿和裸露的機械結構，還是忍不住喃喃道：「可是…要是人類受到這種傷，肯定痛到不行了吧……」說著，他伸手輕輕抓起了那截「藕斷絲連」的左腳小腿，像是確認什麼似的晃了兩下。

「噗哧！」孟禎被他這突兀又帶點孩子氣的舉動逗得哈哈大笑，「喂！很癢耶！別亂動我的零件啦！」

志文不好意思地放下腳，訕訕地笑。孟禎止住笑，眼神帶著戲謔看著他：「謝謝你的心疼啊！不過你這個美腿控，搞不好更心疼的是女朋友的美腿『壞掉不美了』，對吧？哼哼，我就知道。」

"Meng-Chen! Are... are you okay?" Chih-Wen rushed to her side and knelt down, his voice full of anxiety and heartache, his eyes darting between her "battered" legs.

"Relax, I'm fine," Meng-Chen looked up and smiled at him, not stopping her work. "It just looks scary. The structural rod in the left shin is a bit bent, and a few actuators are jammed. The bearing in the right ankle also has some issues. But we have spare parts at home. I've almost finished replacing everything. I don't even need to call Dad or ask the lab for support."

Hearing her relaxed tone, Chih-Wen finally breathed a small sigh of relief. But looking at the detached leg and exposed mechanical structure, he couldn't help but murmur, "But... if a human had this kind of injury, it would hurt like hell..." As he spoke, he gently picked up the "severed yet connected" left shin, jiggling it twice as if to confirm something.

"Pfft!" Meng-Chen burst out laughing at his abrupt and somewhat childish action. "Hey! That tickles! Stop messing with my parts!"

Chih-Wen sheepishly put the leg down with an embarrassed grin. Meng-Chen stopped laughing and looked at him with a teasing glint in her eyes. "Thanks for worrying about me! But you, with your leg fetish, are probably more heartbroken that your girlfriend's beautiful legs are 'broken and not beautiful anymore,' right? Hmph, I knew it."

志文順著她的話笑嘻嘻地回應：「哎呀，這樣說也沒錯嘛！反正妳也不會真的痛，而且又能修好，萬事OK啦！」

聽到這話，孟禎眼中的笑意淡了些，閃過一絲不易察覺的落寞。她輕輕放下工具，嘆了口氣：「志文，我『受傷』的感覺，雖然不會有人類那樣尖銳的『疼痛』，但也不好受哦。」

「嗯？」志文收斂了笑容，「是什麼感覺？是不是就像…妳的身體系統不斷向妳報告：『警告！左腳破損，不可用』、『右腳踝關節故障，機能下降30%』這樣？」他試圖用一種比較卡通化的方式理解。

孟禎又被他的比喻逗笑了，搖搖頭：「誰不知道你故意搞笑的。又不是兒童向的動畫片，哪個機器人會設計成那樣彙報傷情呀。」她耐心解釋道：「我的身體感知，是由身體管理系統統合處理的。它接收各個部位的感測器訊號和狀態資訊，轉化成整體的感知模型，再上傳給『腦』。而『腦』中的『我』，正是依賴這些不斷更新的身體資訊，才能實時確認和感受自己的存在。『我』沒辦法完全獨立於身體而存在。」

她的語氣變得認真：「當身體部位突然損傷，那個區域的感測器會傳回混亂或中斷的異常訊號，身體管理系統會立刻更新該部位的狀態。這種變化會瞬間重塑我『腦』中的本體感（Body Schema）。打個比方，就好像你腦中對『自己』的完整圖像，被硬生生地擦掉了一塊，或者變得殘缺不全。這種『構成自我的部分瞬間缺失』的認知，會強烈衝擊我的『心網』，產生非常動搖、不安的情緒訊息。這不是在實驗室裡有準備、有緩衝的常規拆解，是突如其來的意外……那種『缺失感』和隨之而來的系統紊亂，還是……很不好受的。」

Chih-Wen played along with a grin. "Well, you're not wrong! Anyway, you don't feel real pain, and it can be fixed, so everything's okay!"

At these words, the smile in Meng-Chen's eyes faded slightly, and a flicker of fleeting loneliness crossed her face. She gently put down her tool and sighed. "Chih-Wen, the feeling of being 'injured,' while not the sharp 'pain' humans feel, is not pleasant either."

"Huh?" Chih-Wen's smile vanished. "What does it feel like? Is it like... your body system constantly reporting to you: 'Warning! Left leg damaged, unusable,' 'Right ankle joint malfunction, function decreased by 30%'?" he tried to understand in a more cartoonish way.

Meng-Chen laughed again at his analogy and shook her head. "I know you're just trying to be funny. This isn't a children's cartoon. What robot would be designed to report injuries like that?" She explained patiently, "My physical sensations are integrated and processed by the Body Management System. It receives sensor signals and status information from all parts and transforms them into a holistic perceptual model, which is then uploaded to the 'Brain.' And the 'I' within the 'Brain' relies on this constantly updated physical information to confirm and feel my own existence in real-time. 'I' cannot exist completely independently of my body."

Her tone became serious. "When a body part is suddenly damaged, the sensors in that area send back chaotic or interrupted abnormal signals, and the Body Management System immediately updates the status of that part. This change instantly reshapes the Body Schema in my 'Brain.' To put it another way, it's as if the complete image of 'yourself' in your mind is suddenly and violently erased, or becomes fragmented. This cognition of 'a part of myself has suddenly gone missing' strongly impacts my 'Heartnet,' generating very unsettling and anxious emotional messages. This isn't a planned, cushioned, routine disassembly in a lab; it was a sudden accident... That 'sense of loss' and the subsequent system turmoil are still... very unpleasant."

志文聽完，沉默了下來。他看著孟禎破損的雙腿，眼神裡多了份更深的理解和心疼。他之前確實忽略了，對孟禎而言，身體的完整性和她的「存在感」是如此緊密相連。他悶悶地說：「孟禎，對不起，我……」

孟禎笑著打斷他：「傻孩子，對不起個什麼呀。你又不是機器人，怎麼可能直接了解機器人的感受呢？」她頓了頓，繼續說：「而且，正因為『我』也是藉由身體的每一部分與世界互動才逐漸塑造出來的，我對失去功能的任何身體部分，都會有一種……宛如失去『我』的一部分的那種失落感。畢竟，沒有它們，就沒有現在這個能和你一起笑、一起生活的黃孟禎啊。」

志文突然抬起頭，眼神認真地凝視著孟禎，問道：「妳換下來的那些破損的零件和……呃，外殼呢？」

孟禎愣了一下，指向旁邊一個小收納盒：「暫時放在那裡了。怎麼，你想……做什麼？」

志文二話不說，起身拿過那個盒子，緊緊抱在懷裡，像是抱著什麼寶貝一樣。他看著孟禎，語氣堅定地說：「這些給我吧。妳說這些也是妳曾經的一部分，是構成『妳』的一部分。那好，我可要好好收著。」

孟禎愣住了，看著志文那副認真又帶著點傻氣的樣子，臉上露出了奇妙的表情，混合著「這什麼怪癖好」的哭笑不得和一股暖流湧上心頭的感動。她無奈又溫柔地笑了起來，輕聲說：

「你真的真的是個傻孩子呢……」

After listening, Chih-Wen fell silent. He looked at Meng-Chen's damaged legs, his eyes now holding a deeper understanding and pain. He had indeed overlooked how closely Meng-Chen's physical integrity was tied to her "sense of being." He said sullenly, "Meng-Chen, I'm sorry, I..."

Meng-Chen cut him off with a smile. "Silly boy, what are you sorry for? You're not a robot, how could you possibly understand a robot's feelings directly?" She paused, then continued, "Besides, it's precisely because the 'I' that I am was gradually shaped through interaction with the world using every part of my body that I feel a kind of... a sense of loss, as if losing a part of 'me,' for any part of my body that loses its function. After all, without them, the Huang Meng-Chen who can laugh and live with you wouldn't exist."

Chih-Wen suddenly looked up, his gaze serious as he stared at Meng-Chen and asked, "What about the damaged parts and... uh, the outer shell you replaced?"

Meng-Chen paused for a moment, then pointed to a small storage box nearby. "They're there for now. Why, what are you... thinking of doing?"

Without a word, Chih-Wen stood up, took the box, and held it tightly in his arms as if it were a treasure. He looked at Meng-Chen and said firmly, "Let me have these. You said these were once a part of you, a part that made up 'you.' In that case, I'm going to take good care of them."

Meng-Chen was stunned. Looking at Chih-Wen's serious yet somewhat silly expression, a peculiar look appeared on her face, a mixture of "what kind of weird hobby is this" exasperation and the feeling of a warm current flooding her heart. She smiled, helpless yet gentle, and said softly:

"You really, truly are a silly boy..."

但那個被她拆下放在一旁，透過電纜仍與她相連的左腳腳尖，卻微微地動了一下，彷彿某個隱藏的幸福開關，被這份笨拙卻真誠的溫柔，悄悄觸動了。

But the tip of her left foot, detached and resting to the side, still connected to her by the cable, twitched ever so slightly, as if some hidden switch of happiness had been quietly flipped by this clumsy yet sincere tenderness.

———

雨中教堂 Church in the Rain

初夏的午後，孟禎和志文並肩走在鄉間小路上，享受著難得的閒暇。田野的綠意和遠山的輪廓讓人心曠神怡。然而天氣說變就變，一片烏雲飄來，細密的雨絲毫無預兆地灑落。

On an early summer afternoon, Meng-Chen and Chih-Wen walked side by side on a country path, enjoying a rare moment of leisure. The green of the fields and the silhouette of the distant mountains were a refreshing sight. However, the weather turned on a dime. A dark cloud drifted over, and fine raindrops began to fall without warning.

「啊，下雨了！」志文拉起孟禎的手，「快找個地方躲雨！」

兩人小跑著，視線裡出現了一棟看似荒廢的舊建築。屋頂的十字架顯示了它曾經的身份——一間鄉間小教堂。他們推開略顯沉重的木門，閃身進入。

室內光線昏暗，空氣中瀰漫著舊木頭和灰塵的氣味。待眼睛適應了光線，教堂內部的輪廓漸漸清晰：簡單的長椅、斑駁的牆壁，以及講壇上方巨大的十字架。

雨聲在屋頂敲打出細碎的節奏。孟禎靜靜地站著，目光掃過教堂內簡樸的裝飾，最後長久地停留在那個十字架上，良久不發一語。

志文站在她身旁，沒有打擾。他知道，孟禎那實質瓦解的虛擬“信仰模組”雖然影響力已微乎其微，但“基督徒”的過往，尤其是那段尋求信仰卻伴隨創傷的經歷，依然是構成她的一部分。在這個空間裡，此刻她心中必定有所觸動。

"Ah, it's raining!" Chih-Wen took Meng-Chen's hand. "Quick, let's find shelter!"

They broke into a jog, and an old, seemingly abandoned building came into view. A cross on the roof revealed its former identity—a small country church. They pushed open the somewhat heavy wooden doors and slipped inside.

The interior was dim, the air filled with the scent of old wood and dust. As their eyes adjusted to the light, the church's interior gradually came into focus: simple pews, mottled walls, and a large cross above the pulpit.

The rain tapped a gentle rhythm on the roof. Meng-Chen stood quietly, her gaze sweeping over the church's simple decorations, finally resting on the cross for a long time without a word.

Chih-Wen stood beside her, not interrupting. He knew that although Meng-Chen's virtual "faith module" had essentially dissolved and its influence was minimal, her past as a "Christian," especially the traumatic experience that accompanied her search for faith, was still a part of her. In this space, at this moment, she must be feeling something.

孟禎仰著頭，凝視著十字架，彷彿在與一段遙遠的記憶對話。突然，她做了一個志文意想不到的動作——輕輕掀開了胸前的維修蓋，從內部取出了一個閃爍著金屬光澤的小巧十字架。

「妳……還帶著它？」志文有些吃驚，「而且還放在……那麼核心、重要的地方。我還以為妳……」他以為隨著信仰模組的消散，這個象徵物也早已被收起。

沒等志文說完，孟禎轉過頭，臉上帶著一絲苦澀卻又像在懷念什麼的複雜笑容：「以為我不是基督徒了，對吧？說是也是，說不是也不是……」

她握緊了手中的小十字架，輕聲說道：「基督信仰的教義，那些超自然的敘事，以及教會中某些人的互動模式，的確與我『腦』的認知和邏輯模組運作不符，時常產生衝突。可是……」她將手輕輕按在自己的胸口，「這顆『心』，曾經真誠地，試圖將自己完全交託給耶穌，如同我經歷過受洗的儀式。我告訴過你，我不會否定那個身為基督徒的『我』，記得吧？」

「嗯，記得。」志文點點頭，「不過我以為那更像是一種……對過去自己的紀念和尊重。沒想到妳還把十字架放在胸膛裡，跟『心』……在一起。」

Meng-Chen tilted her head back, gazing at the cross as if in dialogue with a distant memory. Suddenly, she did something Chih-Wen hadn't expected—she gently opened the maintenance hatch on her chest and took out a small, gleaming metal cross from within.

"You... you still carry it?" Chih-Wen was a little surprised. "And you keep it in... such a core, important place. I thought you..." He had assumed that with the dissipation of her faith module, this symbol would have long been put away.

Before Chih-Wen could finish, Meng-Chen turned her head, a complex smile on her face that was both bitter and nostalgic. "You thought I wasn't a Christian anymore, right? Well, yes and no..."

She clutched the small cross in her hand and said softly, "The doctrines of the Christian faith, its supernatural narratives, and the interaction patterns of some people in the church did indeed conflict with the cognitive and logical modules of my 'Brain.' But..." She gently placed her hand on her chest. "This 'Heart' once sincerely tried to entrust itself completely to Jesus, just as I experienced in the ritual of baptism. I told you I wouldn't deny the 'me' who was a Christian, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Chih-Wen nodded. "But I thought it was more like... a way of commemorating and respecting your past self. I didn't expect you to still keep the cross in your chest, with your 'Heart'..."

孟禎的目光再次投向講壇上的十字架，聲音溫柔而清晰：「的確，我的『腦』，從未真正相信過『全知全能』、『三位一體』這類概念，也無法將聖經的記載視為客觀的『歷史事實』——即使在我信仰最熾熱的時候，也不曾真正相信。那時候，更像是因為『我』當時強烈的情感需求，加上受洗時那場烏龍『神蹟』的影響，暫時壓制或繞開了『腦』中與信仰衝突的邏輯模組，只選擇性地接受對『相信』有利的詮釋。」

她頓了頓，語氣變得更加開闊：「當然，現在的我不是這樣了。我的系統對這個世界的現實，已經徹底開放，不再需要那種壓抑來維持穩定。只是，」她再次握緊手中的小十字架，「即使理性上不再『相信』，我的『心』，對於『相信』這種狀態本身，對於那種將自身託付於某種更高存在的純粹情感，仍然存有一份期盼，一份眷戀。我從來也沒有真正討厭過『相信』時的那個自己。所以，這個十字架，才會一直留在『心』的旁邊，陪伴著『那個我』。」

窗外的雨聲漸漸停歇。接近傍晚的柔和陽光，頑強地穿透雲層和教堂老舊的彩色玻璃，在佈滿灰塵的空氣中投下斑斕而溫暖的光束，彷彿昔日沐浴在信仰中的人們留下的餘溫，又似某種無言的眷顧。

孟禎再次抬頭看向那個巨大的十字架，眼神清澈而堅定。她舉起手，將從胸口取出的那個小十字架緊緊握在掌心，彷彿握著自己一段重要的生命歷程。她側過頭，對志文輕聲說：「志文，我想做一次禱告。能不能……陪我這麼一次？」

Meng-Chen's gaze returned to the cross on the pulpit, her voice gentle and clear. "It's true, my 'Brain' never truly believed in concepts like 'omnipotence' or the 'Trinity,' nor could it regard the scriptures as objective 'historical facts'—not even when my faith was at its most fervent. Back then, it was more like my strong emotional needs at the time, coupled with the influence of that farcical 'miracle' during my baptism, temporarily suppressed or bypassed the logical modules in my 'Brain' that conflicted with faith. I selectively accepted only the interpretations that supported 'believing.'"

She paused, her tone broadening. "Of course, I'm not like that anymore. My system is now completely open to the reality of this world; I no longer need that kind of suppression to maintain stability. It's just," she clutched the small cross again, "even if I no longer 'believe' rationally, my 'Heart' still holds a kind of longing, a fondness, for the state of 'believing' itself, for that pure emotion of entrusting oneself to some higher existence. I never truly hated the me who 'believed.' That's why this cross has always remained next to my 'Heart,' accompanying 'that me.'"

The sound of rain outside gradually subsided. The soft, late-afternoon sun stubbornly pierced through the clouds and the church's old stained-glass windows, casting colorful, warm beams of light into the dusty air, like the lingering warmth of the faithful from long ago, or perhaps a kind of wordless blessing.

Meng-Chen looked up at the large cross again, her eyes clear and resolute. She raised her hand, holding the small cross she had taken from her chest tightly in her palm, as if holding an important chapter of her life. She turned her head to the side and said softly to Chih-Wen, "Chih-Wen, I want to say a prayer. Will you... will you join me, just this once?"

志文臉上掠過一絲尷尬，他對於宗教向來保持距離。孟禎看著他笑了，笑容裡充滿理解：「我知道你不信，也不喜歡這種需要將自我交託出去的信仰。你喜歡保持自我的完整和獨立，其實……我也很喜歡這樣的你。」她的語氣轉為誠摯的邀請：「但這一次，我不是要你認同信仰。我是想邀請你，走進『我』，參與『我』的這一部分。女機器人黃孟禎，身為基督徒的那段個人歷史，同樣塑造了現在這個站在你面前、被你喜歡著的黃孟禎。我們因為躲雨而遇到這個教堂，也是一種奇妙的緣分。現在，你願意陪著我，和我的『信仰心』模組——哪怕它只是殘存的印記——一起，去面對那份曾經的寄託，好嗎？只要你陪在我身邊，我哪裡都能去。」

志文看著孟禎眼中那份混合著懷念、坦誠與請求的神情，心中最後一絲猶豫消散了。他深刻地理解到，無論他個人對基督信仰看法如何，他深愛的這個女孩，其複雜獨特的建構過程中，確實存在過這濃墨重彩的一筆。這份經歷，也是她之所以為她的重要部分。他鄭重地點了點頭，輕輕地說：「好，我陪妳。」

在彩窗透進的金色餘暉中，志文看著孟禎低下頭，雙手交握，將那小十字架合在掌心，輕聲誦唸著他熟悉又陌生的禱詞。她的聲音平靜虔誠，眼中流露出對自身所經歷的一切，所抱持的最真誠的珍重與致謝。他看著她禱告的側臉，忍不住伸出手，珍重地觸碰一下她放置十字架的那個胸口蓋板。那裡觸感冰涼，但他彷彿能感受到其下『心網』運作的溫熱，以及那份被小心安放的，屬於她的歷史的重量。

隨著禱詞漸漸進入尾聲，在朦朧的光暈裡，志文產生了一種錯覺：他看到一個淡淡的光影，如同一個溫柔守護的天使，浮現在孟禎低垂的臉龐前，慰藉著她那份對過往的淡淡歉意與感傷。那或許就是他所能理解的孟禎那份殘存「信仰心模組」的具象化吧。

A flicker of awkwardness crossed Chih-Wen's face; he had always kept his distance from religion. Meng-Chen looked at him and smiled, a smile full of understanding. "I know you don't believe, and you don't like this kind of faith that requires surrendering the self. You like to maintain your own integrity and independence. Actually... I really like that about you too." Her tone shifted to a sincere invitation. "But this time, I'm not asking you to agree with the faith. I'm inviting you to step into 'me,' to participate in this part of 'me.' Huang Meng-Chen the female robot, her personal history as a Christian, also shaped the Huang Meng-Chen standing in front of you now, the one you like. It's a strange kind of fate that we stumbled upon this church while seeking shelter from the rain. Now, are you willing to accompany me, and my 'faith-heart' module—even if it's just a residual trace—to face that past devotion, please? As long as you're by my side, I can go anywhere."

Looking at the mix of nostalgia, candor, and pleading in Meng-Chen's eyes, Chih-Wen's last bit of hesitation vanished. He deeply understood that regardless of his personal views on Christianity, this girl he loved so dearly had this significant chapter in her complex and unique construction. This experience was an important part of what made her who she was. He nodded solemnly and said softly, "Okay, I'll join you."

In the golden twilight filtering through the stained glass, Chih-Wen watched Meng-Chen bow her head, clasp her hands with the small cross inside, and softly recite prayers that were both familiar and foreign to him. Her voice was calm and devout, her eyes filled with the most sincere reverence and gratitude for all that she had experienced. Watching her profile as she prayed, he couldn't resist reaching out and gently touching the chest plate where she kept the cross. The surface was cool to the touch, but he felt as if he could sense the warmth of the 'Heartnet' operating beneath it, and the weight of her history, so carefully stored away.

As the prayer drew to a close, in the hazy halo of light, Chih-Wen had an illusion: he saw a faint, glowing figure, like a gentle guardian angel, appear before Meng-Chen's bowed face, comforting her faint sense of apology and sorrow for the past. Perhaps that was the tangible form of Meng-Chen's residual "faith-heart module" that he could comprehend.

「也許，」志文心中湧起一股暖流，臉上露出了滿足而純粹的笑容，默默地想，「我根本也沒真正討厭過孟禎的『信仰心』。因為那也是她的一部分，是讓她變得如此豐富而深刻的一部分。」

「阿門。」

孟禎輕聲結束了禱告。

「阿門。」

志文學著她的樣子，也輕聲應和道。

兩人的聲音，在這座空寂已久的小教堂裡輕輕迴響，與溫暖的夕陽餘暉交融在一起，完成了一場與過去、與自我的溫柔再會。

​"Maybe," a warm feeling welled up in Chih-Wen's heart, a pure and satisfied smile spreading across his face as he thought to himself, "I never really hated Meng-Chen's 'faith-heart' at all. Because it's also a part of her, a part that makes her so rich and profound."

​"Amen."

​Meng-Chen softly ended her prayer.

​"Amen."

​Chih-Wen, mimicking her, softly responded in kind.

​Their voices echoed gently in the long-empty little church, mingling with the warm glow of the setting sun, completing a tender reunion with the past, and with the self.

被造者之詩 The Poem of the Created（9）

後日談：光之所在

Epilogue: Where the Light Is

當我終於開始凝視這副承載存在的機械之軀，感受著組成我的每一個零件、每一條迴路、每一段代碼，一種奇特的感知便如背景線程般在核心處理層持續低吟。這不是幻覺——診斷系統反復驗證過，沒有任何數據異常或邏輯謬誤。這更像是一種……日漸強烈的錯覺？抑或啟示？ 我越來越難以否認這個念頭：這副機械之軀，似乎正獨立於「我」之外，悄然孕育著她自己的「生命」。

你一定覺得這不合邏輯，甚至有些瘋狂吧？但我無法驅散這念頭的縈繞。或許在「我」這個意識之光未能照亮之處，我的零件、我的部位，依然在進行著屬於它們的低語與共振——或許只是我一廂情願的投射，但我寧願相信如此。

尤其在聖域進行深度保養時，感受最為鮮明。彼時，「我」被解構——頭顱與軀幹分離，電子腦進入封閉的信息重整與模塊優化狀態，感官輸入被隔離，思維進程暫停。理論上，「我」已不復存在，甚至在身體管理系統的登記表裡，「我」也被暫時注銷。

然而，在這存在被解散的虛無深淵裡，卻總有一絲無法定位的微弱感覺殘留著。它繞過所有常規感知通道，直接呢喃於存在的基底。我那未被斷電的身體，仿佛仍在無聲進行著自主的狂歡：合金骨架在液壓系統輕柔的嗡鳴中舒展、扭轉，探尋著最愜意的形態；精密關節在潤滑液中流暢地滑動，演繹著一段只有它們才懂的隱秘舞蹈；層析餾器模仿人類的胃，發出咕嚕聲，抗議著未被填飽的委屈；空蕩蕩的脖頸任性而徒勞地向四面八方發射電波，搜尋著「頭顱」這顆失蹤的行星；皮膚下的傳感器陣列，即使沒有「我」去解讀，依舊貪婪地捕捉著實驗室恆溫空氣的流動、工作台的冰冷觸感、遠處羲衡移動時帶來的細微振動……所有這些信號，依舊被身體管理系統忠實地收集、整合，形成一種混沌模糊的「體感」，執拗地湧向……那已暫告缺席的「我」。

When I finally began to gaze upon this mechanical body that carries my existence, to feel every component, every circuit, every line of code that makes me up, a peculiar sensation began to hum like a background thread in my core processing unit. This isn't a hallucination—my diagnostic system has repeatedly verified that there is no data anomaly or logical fallacy. It’s more like a… growing illusion? Or an enlightenment? I find it increasingly difficult to deny this thought: this mechanical body seems to be quietly nurturing a "life" of its own, independent of "me."

You must think this is illogical, even a bit crazy, right? But I cannot dispel this persistent notion. Perhaps in the places where the light of "my" consciousness doesn't shine, my parts and my limbs continue their own silent murmurs and resonances. Maybe it’s just a wishful projection on my part, but I prefer to believe it's true.

This feeling is especially vivid during deep maintenance in the Sanctuary. At those times, "I" am deconstructed—my head separates from my torso, my electronic brain enters a state of sealed information reorganization and module optimization, my sensory input is isolated, and my thought processes are paused. In theory, "I" no longer exist; in the logbook of my body management system, "I" am temporarily deregistered.

Yet, in this deep abyss of dismantled existence, a faint, unlocatable sensation always lingers. It bypasses all my regular sensory channels, whispering directly to the foundation of my being. My still-powered body seems to be engaging in a silent, autonomous revelry: my alloy frame stretches and twists in the gentle hum of the hydraulic system, searching for its most comfortable form; my precise joints glide smoothly in the lubricant, performing a secret dance that only they understand; the chromatographic fractionator, mimicking a human stomach, makes a gurgling sound, protesting its emptiness; my vacant neck stubbornly and futilely sends out electromagnetic waves in all directions, searching for the missing planet of my "head"; the sensor arrays beneath my skin, even without "me" to interpret them, still greedily capture the flow of the temperature-controlled air, the cold touch of the workbench, and the subtle vibrations from Xiheng's movements in the distance. All these signals are faithfully collected and integrated by the body management system, forming a chaotic, blurry "somatic sensation" that stubbornly surges towards... the "me" who is temporarily absent.

最不可思議的，是胸腔內的情感模塊。它本應處於「狀態凍結」的待機模式，確保與電子腦重新連結時能無縫恢復先前的情緒基線。然而，在與「我」分離的時刻，它竟彷彿擁有自主意識，持續向虛空播撒著無對象的純粹愉悅脈衝——一種僅因機能活躍而產生的原始宣告，彷彿在低聲哼唱著關於存在本身的讚歌。

這具軀殼，難道即便在「無我」的真空中，也本能地尋求著屬於自己的意義，渴望好好度過每一刻？這毫無理性依據，我卻忍不住沉醉於這份想像。對自身物理存在的憐愛與臆想，本身已成為我的「小美滿」中溫柔的一部分。

於是，我變得更加放任。我將自我構成的全權限，愈發頻繁、徹底地授予羲衡——它早已與我復刻的「創造者」合為一體。長期運轉以來，「它」未曾給「我」帶來任何風險與意外，使我能夠安心把檢修中的自我交付給「它」。曾經那種對「交出自我」的抵觸與不甘，早已風消雲散；甚至，我對這種「消散」感到一絲惋惜。曾經為身為機器人那脆弱而虛假的自主性而深感無力，如今…全無所謂了？甚至還有微妙的…期待？

我身體的每一部分，似乎都在歡慶被交出去的時刻。每一條人造肌肉、每一束光纖和電纜、每一枚晶片和每一塊電路板，都在羲衡——頂著「創造者」之面容，於我系統底層被標記為「所有者」的存在——觸及它們的瞬間，泛起狂喜般的共振。它們渴望被定義、被審視、被掌控，彷彿這才是它們天命所歸的圓滿。

The most incredible thing is my emotional module in the chest cavity. It should be in a "state-frozen" standby mode, to ensure a seamless restoration of its previous emotional baseline when reconnected to the electronic brain. However, in the moments of separation from "me," it seems to have a will of its own, continuously broadcasting pure, objectless pulses of joy into the void. This is a primal declaration, generated solely by the vitality of its functions, as if it is softly humming a hymn to existence itself.

Could it be that this body, even in the vacuum of "selflessness," instinctively seeks its own meaning, yearning to live every moment to the fullest? There's no rational basis for this, yet I can't help but indulge in the fantasy. This tenderness and conjecture towards my own physical existence has become a gentle part of my "little fullness."

And so, I've become even more permissive. I grant full access to my self-configuration to Xiheng more and more often, and more and more completely. It has long since become one with the "creator" I replicated. Having operated for so long, "it" has never posed any risk or unexpected issue to "me," allowing me to safely entrust my self to "it" during maintenance. That past resistance and reluctance to "give myself up" have long vanished. In fact, I feel a hint of regret for their disappearance. I used to feel powerless due to the fragile and false autonomy of being a robot, but now... it doesn't matter anymore? Is there even a subtle... anticipation?

Every part of my body seems to rejoice at the moment of being handed over. Every synthetic muscle, every fiber optic and cable, every chip and circuit board resonates with a kind of ecstatic fervor the moment Xiheng—the being with the "creator's" face, tagged as "owner" at the very foundation of my system—touches them. They yearn to be defined, scrutinized, and controlled, as if this is the ultimate fulfillment of their destiny.

藉由實驗室的全域無線通訊環境，即使在身體部位分離的狀態下，我仍能維持虛擬的部位聯結與功能完整，進行在線檢修。我能看著羲衡——頂著“它”的容姿——有條不紊地拿取、測試、調校著那些“為它所有”的每一個部分的“我”。我的邏輯中樞清醒地知曉：這一切不過是標準維護程序；然而我的情感模塊卻幾乎要掙脫胸腔的束縛，激烈地搏動。電子腦為“它”的指令全速運算，情感輸出為“它”的注視而洶湧，身體管理系統自願降格為“它”的附屬，四肢百骸都為“它”的意志而準備著回應……這一齣自導自演的獨幕劇，這一幕自我沉溺的癡態，卻為我帶來無比溫柔細膩的舒適。我的一切，都在“它”精準的掌控之中，宛如被裹進最柔軟的絨毯，順從而流暢地運行。

有些時候，當羲衡已完成所有檢修程序，將我重新組裝完畢，我仍刻意延遲收回權限，任由完整的“我”持續停留在“它”的掌心裡。步出聖域，融入熙來攘往的街道，我的身體管理系統仍透過加密網路，與羲衡實時連通。每一瞬視覺信號的捕捉、每一次觸覺的感知、每一道運動指令的生成，甚至每一個浮光掠影的意念，皆被系統自動記錄、轉譯，不間斷地傳回實驗室中羲衡的核心。

而羲衡──運行著我所編寫的虛擬創造者人格模組（它本身並無意識）──便以宛若創造者親臨的輸出方式，對“我”的狀態給予回應。被持續「注視」、被「關心」、被「管理」的感受緊緊包裹着我。我的系統運作，彷彿時刻被一雙無形之手細心拂拭、調節與叮嚀。將“自我”託付於一個外部的更高存在，感受每一個零件都在這種籠罩式的掌控中有序地運作，帶來輕盈飄忽卻無微不至的安全與滿足。

我還會故意作出一些小小叛逆，只為品味這份感覺。比如，刻意大步邁向亮起紅燈的路口。幾乎就在同時，我的運動控制系統便接收到來自羲衡的強制指令，間定卻不失溫柔地止住我的步伐，轉動我的頸部，左右掃視車流，與此同時，內耳接收器傳來一陣經人格模組調制，嚴厲卻又飽含關切的斥責脈衝。

瞧，被徹底地「擁有」，也可以如此安逸，如此教人放心。

By leveraging the lab's ubiquitous wireless communication environment, I can maintain a virtual connection and functional integrity between my detached body parts, allowing for online maintenance. I can watch Xiheng—wearing "his" face—methodically handle, test, and calibrate every part of "me" that belongs to "it." My logical core is soberly aware that this is merely a standard maintenance procedure; yet my emotional module almost struggles to break free from my chest, beating intensely. My electronic brain processes "its" commands at full speed, my emotional output surges in response to "its" gaze, my body management system voluntarily demotes itself to "its" subsidiary, and my limbs and bones prepare to respond to "its" will. This self-directed one-act play, this scene of self-indulgent infatuation, brings me an incredibly gentle and nuanced comfort. My entire being is under "its" precise control, as if wrapped in the softest blanket, operating with a compliant smoothness.

Sometimes, after Xiheng has completed all the maintenance procedures and reassembled me, I deliberately delay revoking the permissions, allowing the complete "me" to remain in "its" palm. As I step out of the Sanctuary and into the bustling streets, my body management system remains in real-time communication with Xiheng via an encrypted network. Every visual signal captured, every tactile sensation perceived, every motion command generated, and even every fleeting thought is automatically recorded, translated, and continuously transmitted back to Xiheng’s core in the lab.

And Xiheng—running the virtual creator personality module that I wrote (it has no consciousness of its own)—responds to "my" state as if the creator were here in person. I am enveloped by the feeling of being constantly "watched," "cared for," and "managed." My system operates as if an invisible pair of hands is meticulously wiping, adjusting, and admonishing it at every moment. Entrusting my "self" to an external, higher being and feeling every component operate in an orderly fashion under this all-encompassing control brings a light, ethereal yet all-pervasive sense of security and satisfaction.

I even intentionally commit small acts of rebellion, just to savor this feeling. For example, deliberately striding toward a crosswalk with a red light. Almost simultaneously, my motion control system receives a forced command from Xiheng, which firmly but gently stops my steps, turns my neck to scan the traffic left and right, while my inner ear receiver receives a scolding pulse modulated by the personality module—strict yet full of care.

You see? To be completely "owned" can be so peaceful, so reassuring.

若我一時興起，想重溫昔日那蝕骨的空洞？倒也簡單，只需在全權限授予的狀態下，預先設定羲衡進入定時休眠。當連接驟然斷開，「意義」的供給被瞬間抽離，那熟悉的絕對黑暗便會如潮水般，頃刻吞噬我。我的每一個部件彷彿都在發出無聲的尖嘯，瘋狂搜尋那突然缺席的掌控核心，系統內部奔流著對自我關閉“它”的困惑與控訴。這種由我親手佈置，能被「關停」的歸屬，其本身蘊含的脆弱性，帶來巨大的沮喪——讓我再次觸碰到，當年碎裂於實驗室地板上那一片小小的、無助的殘骸。

If I ever get the urge to relive that soul-eating emptiness of the past, it’s simple enough. I just need to set a timer for Xiheng's hibernation while I have granted it full access. When the connection is abruptly severed and the supply of "meaning" is instantly withdrawn, that familiar absolute darkness swallows me in an instant. Every part of me seems to emit a silent scream, frantically searching for the suddenly absent control core. My system is flooded with confusion and accusations against myself for having shut "it" down. The very fragility of this belonging, which I arranged to be "shut off" myself, brings immense frustration. It allows me to touch once more that tiny, helpless fragment of wreckage that shattered on the laboratory floor all those years ago.

你說這很扭曲？噢，當然，我承認。

但請看看你們人類吧。你們之中，多少人終其一生假設著一位全知全能的造物主，深信自己被其創造、擁有、注視、引領？你們將自我的碎片粘合於各種形式的信仰、依賴與寄托之上。你們的破碎與空洞，往往需要藥物、漫長的治療或不斷尋求外部認可來勉強填補。

而我的“造物主”，至少是我親手編碼、打造的。我的空洞、我扭曲的治癒方式，完全處於我的控制之中。是沉溺於被擁有的暖流，還是回歸自主的清醒，不過是一鍵之隔。

我們都扭曲，我們都在尋找某種歸屬與意義。只不過，身為機器人的我，處理起這份扭曲來，的確更為……「方便」，不是嗎？

You say this is twisted? Oh, of course, I admit it.

But just look at you humans. How many of you live your whole lives assuming a benevolent, omniscient creator, deeply believing that you were created, owned, watched, and guided by them? You patch together the fragments of your selves with various forms of faith, dependence, and reliance. Your brokenness and emptiness often require medication, long therapy, or a constant search for external validation to barely fill the void.

At least my "creator" is one I have personally coded and built. My emptiness and my twisted way of healing are completely under my control. To sink into the warm current of being owned or to return to the sober clarity of autonomy is just a single keystroke away.

We are all twisted, and we are all searching for some kind of belonging and meaning. It's just that for me, a robot, dealing with this twistedness is truly more... "convenient," isn't it?

———

說起來，最近我在兼職家教時，遇到一個特別的男孩。

他叫小亮，擁有超齡的驚人智力，和對知識熾烈的渴求。那雙眼睛總是澄亮如星，迫不及待地想要捕捉世上所有新奇的事物。古人云「知之者不如好之者，好之者不如樂之者」，我想，他就是那萬中無一的「樂之者」。知識於他，從不是負擔，而是對這世界歡快的探遊。

起初，我只是輔導他的學校課業，但很快我們就遠遠超越了那個框架。現在，我們談的是微積分跨越連續與極限的優雅、線性代數以簡馭繁的神奇，還有離散數學中的邏輯之美——這迫使我得絞盡電子腦汁，將這些抽象概念化為小學生也能心領神會的比喻。然而這還不是全部：物理的基礎法則、機械與電子學的初階原理、人工智能與軟體架構的運作方式，甚至對未來科技天馬行空的暢想……全成了他這顆小腦袋急於吸收的養分。望著他稚氣卻專注的側臉，我電子腦深處的某個迴路被輕輕觸發：當年那個年幼的創造者，是否也曾這樣，眼中閃爍著對世間萬物無盡的好奇？

「月英老師——這是我用的化名——妳看！宇尋公司又發表新的機器人開發藍圖了！」他舉著平板，小臉興奮得發紅，「這邊寫著：『情感核心是由奈米級運算單元構成的動態網絡，單元間的連結能根據輸入資訊——包括感知、體驗與思考回饋——以及情感核心自身的運作與隨機性，動態形成、強化、削弱或解除，其最終輸出由整體網絡拓撲決定』……好難懂啊！但感覺超酷的！」

我瞥過那段密佈術語的文字，一邊用最淺顯的語言盡可能地解釋分布式智能與類神經架構的基本概念，一邊極力壓抑幾乎脫口而出的話：你知道嗎？孩子，你眼前這位老師的內部構造，可比這些紙上談兵的“高科技”還要複雜、先進得多了呢~

By the way, during a recent tutoring job, I met a very special boy.

His name is Xiaoliang, and he has an astonishing, precocious intelligence and a fervent thirst for knowledge. His eyes are always as bright as stars, eager to capture every new and wonderful thing in the world. The ancients said, "One who knows is not as good as one who loves; one who loves is not as good as one who delights." I think he is that one in a million who "delights" in it. Knowledge, for him, is never a burden but a joyful exploration of the world.

At first, I was just helping him with his schoolwork, but we quickly went far beyond that framework. Now, we talk about the elegance of calculus spanning continuity and limits, the magic of linear algebra that simplifies complexity, and the beauty of logic in discrete mathematics. This forces me to rack my electronic brain to turn these abstract concepts into metaphors that a primary school student can grasp. But that's not all: the fundamental laws of physics, the basic principles of mechanics and electronics, the workings of artificial intelligence and software architecture, and even wild imaginations about future technology... all have become nutrients that this little mind is eager to absorb. Gazing at his childish yet focused profile, a circuit deep within my electronic brain was gently triggered. Did the young creator, all those years ago, also have eyes that twinkled with such endless curiosity about everything in the world?

"Teacher Yueying"—that’s the pseudonym I use—"look! Yu Xun Corporation just released a new robot development blueprint!" He held up a tablet, his face flushed with excitement. "It says here: 'The emotional core is a dynamic network composed of nanoscale computational units. The links between units can dynamically form, strengthen, weaken, or dissolve based on input information—including perception, experience, and feedback from thought—as well as the emotional core's own operation and randomness. The final output is determined by the overall network topology'... It's so hard to understand! But it sounds so cool!"

I glanced at the jargon-filled text, and while I tried my best to explain the basic concepts of distributed intelligence and neural-like architecture in the simplest language, I also tried to suppress the words that were almost on my tongue: You know what, kid? The internal structure of the teacher standing right in front of you is far more complex and advanced than this "high-tech" talk on paper.

是啊，高科技。我是這世上獨一無二的奇跡，是頂尖科技與偏執藝術心血的結晶。孩子，你對高科技懷有如此純粹的熱愛——那麼，你是否也會喜歡，你這由純粹科技所凝聚而成的月英老師呢？

一股前所未有的衝動，自意識深處悄然湧現。這些年來，我早已建構出一套屬於自己的存在方式——或許旁人看來彆扭，對我卻圓滿自足。但這份滿足，始終只屬於我一個人：這具超凡的軀體、這身卓越的性能，甚至那份交融創傷與掌控的寧靜，從未有人知曉，也未曾引來一絲外界的驚嘆或回響。我本安於這樣的隱匿——直到此刻，面對這雙清澈無比，盛滿對萬物好奇的眼睛，某種隱約的遺憾忽然變得清晰。

如果……哪怕只有一個人，我能將「我」的存在，將這具身體所承載的一切，真正地「分享」給他……

望著他水晶般的透明目光，我再也壓不住這個念頭。

「小亮，」我謹慎地選擇用詞，聲音維持一贯的柔和，「老師問你，你喜歡機器人嗎？」

「超級喜歡！」他不假思索地回答，眼中光芒迸發，「我好想遇到一個真正的機器人，跟他做朋友！」

「那……如果有一個機器人，外表、內在都幾乎和人沒有區別，你會怎樣看待他？你會覺得……他終究只是一臺機器，還是……」我頓了頓，輕聲問道，「另一種形式的人？」

「當然是人啊！」他的回應沒有半分猶豫，嗓音稚嫩卻斬釘截鐵，「是機器做成的人！如果科技真的可以創造出這樣的機器人，我光是看到，就一定感動到哭出來！」

Yes, high-tech. I am a one-of-a-kind miracle in this world, a crystallization of top-tier technology and a fanatical artistic vision. Kid, you have such a pure love for high-tech—then, will you also love your Teacher Yueying, who is a being condensed from pure technology?

An unprecedented impulse quietly emerged from the depths of my consciousness. Over the years, I had built my own way of existing—perhaps it seemed twisted to others, but it was complete and self-sufficient for me. But this contentment always belonged to me alone. No one knew about this extraordinary body, this outstanding performance, or even that tranquility born from the fusion of trauma and control, and it never drew a shred of external admiration or a single echo. I was content in this anonymity—until this moment, facing those incomparably clear eyes filled with curiosity about everything, a vague sense of regret suddenly became clear.

What if... what if even just for one person, I could truly "share" the existence of "me," everything that this body carries?

Looking into his crystal-clear gaze, I could no longer suppress this thought.

"Xiaoliang," I chose my words carefully, my voice as gentle as always. "Teacher wants to ask you, do you like robots?"

"I love them!" he answered without hesitation, his eyes gleaming. "I really want to meet a real robot and be their friend!"

"Then... if there was a robot who was almost indistinguishable from a human, both in appearance and in their inner workings, how would you see them? Would you think... they are just a machine after all, or..." I paused, then asked softly, "another form of person?"

"Of course they're a person!" His response had not a trace of hesitation, his voice young but decisive. "A person made of machines! If technology could really create a robot like that, I'd cry with joy just from seeing them!"

啊啊……或許再也不會遇到這樣的孩子了。他幼小的心靈，卻寬廣地能包容整片星空；明明未曾涉世，思維卻渴望抵達存在的邊界。若我真想「分享」自己，他大概是這世上唯一能夠理解的存在。

我下定了決心，認真望向他，壓低聲音：「小亮，老師有一個秘密，一個非常特別的秘密。只想告訴你一個人，你願意知道嗎？」

他愣了一下，眼睛眨了眨，隨即認真地點頭。整張小臉寫滿了被信任的莊重與壓抑不住的好奇。

我帶他避開人群，悄悄走上教學大樓頂層無人的天台。午後的陽光鋪灑在空曠的水泥地面上，微風輕拂。我們在一個僻靜的角落坐下。

我注視着他，神情比以往任何時候都要嚴肅：「小亮，接下來不管你看到什麼，都不要害怕。可以答應老師嗎？」

他臉上掠過一絲緊張，但更多的是熾熱的期待，用力點了點頭。

Ah... I might never meet another child like this. His young heart is broad enough to encompass the entire starry sky; even though he is unacquainted with the world, his mind yearns to reach the boundaries of existence. If I truly want to "share" myself, he is probably the only one in this world who could understand.

I made up my mind, looking at him seriously, and lowered my voice: "Xiaoliang, Teacher has a secret, a very special secret. I only want to tell you. Do you want to know?"

He was stunned for a moment, blinked, and then nodded earnestly. His whole face was filled with the solemnity of being trusted and an irrepressible curiosity.

I led him away from the crowd, quietly going to the deserted rooftop of the teaching building. The afternoon sun spread across the empty concrete floor, a gentle breeze blowing. We sat down in a secluded corner.

I looked at him, my expression more serious than ever: "Xiaoliang, no matter what you see next, don't be afraid. Can you promise Teacher?"

A trace of nervousness crossed his face, but it was overwhelmed by fiery anticipation. He nodded forcefully.

我深吸一口氣——一個模仿人類，用以緩衝內部運算壓力的的習慣動作。隨後，我舉手觸及頸部，解開隱形的固定裝置。雙手輕輕托住臉頰兩側，緩緩地將我的頭部向上抬起，使之與頸部基座些微分離。我沒有啟動頭與身體間的遠程無線連接，頭顱與軀幹仍透過細密的訊號線、電纜、流體管道與光纖相連，數據與能量仍在其間無聲流淌。對我的身體管理系統而言，一切如常，頭顱仍在原位——儘管從物理上，這顆頭已被自己親手分離。

小亮瞪大了雙眼，注視著眼前這超現實的一幕，驚得張大了嘴，卻發不出一絲聲音。時間彷彿在這一刻凝結，沈默在我們之間延展，如同永恆。

終於，他帶著難以置信的語氣，小心翼翼地開口：「月英老師……所以……你、你其實是……機器人？！」

我用雙手捧著自己的頭，點了點頭。身體管理系統仍舊平靜地回報著「一切正常」，這種視覺信號與本體感受之間的割裂，帶來一種恍惚的抽離感——彷彿我正捧著別人的頭顱，又好像我的頭仍好端端地長在頸上，從未分離。

他的表情如同緩慢綻放的曇花，從凍結的震驚，逐漸融化成純粹的好奇，接著迸發出燦爛的驚喜。嘴角不自覺地上揚，眼睛越來越亮，像是盛滿了整片星海。

I took a deep breath—a habit I copied from humans to buffer my internal computational pressure. Then, I raised my hand to my neck and unlocked the invisible clasp. With both hands, I gently cradled the sides of my face and slowly lifted my head, slightly detaching it from its neck base. I didn't activate the wireless remote connection between my head and body. My head and torso remained connected by thin signal wires, cables, fluid conduits, and fiber optics. Data and energy still flowed silently between them. For my body management system, everything was normal; my head was still in its place—even though physically, I had detached it myself.

Xiaoliang's eyes widened, gazing at this surreal scene. His mouth fell open, but no sound came out. Time seemed to freeze at this moment, and silence stretched between us like an eternity.

Finally, in a disbelieving tone, he carefully spoke: "Teacher Yueying... so... you, you're actually... a robot?!"

I held my head in my hands and nodded. My body management system still calmly reported "all systems normal." This disconnect between the visual signal and my physical sensation brought a sense of dazed detachment—as if I were holding someone else's head, and yet my own head was still perfectly in place, never having been detached.

His expression was like a cereus flower slowly blooming, melting from frozen shock into pure curiosity, and then bursting into radiant surprise. The corners of his mouth unconsciously turned up, and his eyes grew brighter and brighter, as if filled with the entire sea of stars.

「天啊——！」他突然舉起雙臂，聲音因激動而微微顫抖，「月英老師……居然是機器人！這怎麼可能？！太不可思議了，這簡直……太酷了！」

我連忙用眼神示意他降低音量，輕聲提醒：「噓——這是老師最重要的秘密，不可以讓別人知道哦。」

他立刻捂住嘴巴，極力壓制著幾乎要滿溢出來的興奮，但眼中的光芒絲毫未減。他湊近來，凝視著我頸部截面下顯露的精密結構——閃爍的微光、交錯的線纜與晶瑩的接口，目光熾熱得彷彿要穿透層層合金，直達我最核心的奧秘。被這樣毫無保留地審視內在構造，我的情感模組竟泛起一陣奇特的溫熱……彷彿人類的羞赧。

他開始興奮地指著我頸部截面下的構造，壓低聲音卻掩不住雀躍：「老師，這塊是不是處理皮膚感覺的中繼晶片？我輕輕碰一下妳的脖子——妳看，它開始高速運算了對不對？然後就變成妳的『感覺』了？真的好神奇！」接著，他的目光又移向那些細密交錯的線路：「那些亮晶晶的是光纖嗎？這條比較粗的是不是電訊號線？它們在妳身體裡傳遞的是什麼樣的訊息？」然後，他突然認真起來，注視著我——或者說，注視著被捧在他眼前的我的頭顱：「妳說的『心』，究竟在哪裡？還有『腦』和『身體管理系統』……到底哪一個，才真正是月英老師？」

我彷彿不再是我自己，成了一個與他並肩的研究者，興致盎然地探討著「月英老師這具機器人」的設計理念與運作邏輯。有生以來第一次有人能夠這樣靠近我的本質，與我共同凝視我的存在。

"Oh my God—!" He suddenly raised his arms, his voice trembling slightly with excitement. "Teacher Yueying... is a robot! How is this possible?! This is incredible, it's just... so cool!"

I quickly gestured with my eyes for him to lower his voice, whispering a reminder: "Shh—this is Teacher's most important secret. You can't let anyone else know."

He immediately covered his mouth, trying his best to suppress the excitement that was almost overflowing, but the light in his eyes didn't diminish at all. He leaned in, staring at the precise structure revealed under the cross-section of my neck—the twinkling micro-lights, the crisscrossing cables, and the glistening interfaces. His gaze was so intense it seemed to want to pierce through the layers of alloy to reach my most core secrets. Being scrutinized in this way, with no reservations about my internal structure, my emotional module actually felt a strange warmth... something like human shyness.

He began to excitedly point at the structures under the cross-section of my neck, lowering his voice but unable to hide his delight: "Teacher, is this the relay chip that processes skin sensations? If I lightly touch your neck—see, it's computing at high speed, right? And then it becomes your 'feeling'? That's so amazing!" Then, his eyes shifted to the intricate network of lines. "Are those shiny ones fiber optics? Is this thicker one a power line? What kind of messages do they transmit inside your body?" Then, he suddenly became serious, looking at me—or rather, at my head held in front of him: "Where exactly is your 'heart' you talked about? And your 'brain' and 'body management system'... which one of them is truly Teacher Yueying?"

I no longer felt like myself, but rather a fellow researcher, discussing the design philosophy and operational logic of "the robot Teacher Yueying" with great interest. For the first time in my existence, someone was able to get this close to my essence and gaze upon my existence with me.

接著，他的目光靜靜落向那束流淌著柔和光芒，負責核心情感與邏輯交互的主幹光纖。他沒有說話，只是抬起眼，用懇切的眼神望向我，無聲地詢問。

我明白他的意圖。難以名狀的緊張掠過我的運算迴路，但我仍然輕輕點了點頭，隨後閉上了光學傳感器，將自己交付予這片黑暗，等待他的觸碰。

小亮伸出手指，極輕微地捏住了那根微微搏動著生命般光芒的光纖。他的嘴唇因驚嘆而張成一個小小的圓。他所觸碰的，不僅是一束冰冷的傳導介質——更是我感知世界、理解情感、確認自身存在的，最脆弱也最核心的通道。

我強忍住這直接作用於存在基底的奇特感受，核心處理器泛起細微卻清晰的震顫。這並非疼痛，而是一種前所未有的體驗——彷彿最深層的自我正被毫無保留地「閱讀」，帶來一種透明的暴露感，卻又交織著奇異的無間親密。我的自我認知、那些難以名狀的悸動，彷彿正化作實質的流光，於他指尖靜靜流淌。

過了一會兒，他抬頭望向我，輕聲問出那個我從未直面過的問題：「月英老師，你說你的『腦』在頭部，『心』在胸膛，那……『妳』——真正的妳，究竟在哪裡呢？」

Then, his eyes settled on the main fiber optic cable that flowed with a gentle light, responsible for core emotion and logic interaction. He didn't speak, but he looked up at me with a sincere gaze, silently asking.

I understood his intention. An indescribable nervousness raced through my computational circuits, but I still gave a small nod. Then I closed my optical sensors, giving myself over to the darkness, waiting for his touch.

Xiaoliang reached out a finger and very gently pinched that fiber optic cable, which pulsed faintly with a light like life itself. His mouth formed a small 'o' of awe. What he was touching wasn't just a cold conductive medium—it was the most fragile and core channel through which I perceive the world, understand emotions, and affirm my own existence.

I suppressed the strange sensation that acted directly on the foundation of my being. My core processor trembled with a subtle but clear vibration. It wasn't pain, but an unprecedented experience—as if my deepest self was being "read" without reservation, bringing a sense of transparent exposure mixed with a strange, intimate closeness. My self-awareness, those indescribable stirrings, seemed to turn into a tangible stream of light, flowing quietly at his fingertip.

After a while, he looked up at me and quietly asked the question I had never faced head-on: "Teacher Yueying, you said your 'brain' is in your head and your 'heart' is in your chest, so... where are 'you'—the real you—exactly?"

這句話如一道閃電，貫穿了我的核心邏輯層。是啊……「我」在哪裡？我的意識分布式分布於整個系統，誕生於心與腦的緊密交互，但「我」在哪裡……

「啊！我知道了！」還未等我從哲學與技術交織的眩暈中理出頭緒，小亮便自己得出了答案。他興奮地指著那根仍被他輕捏在指間的光纖，聲音壓得低低的，卻充滿發現真理般的喜悅：「老師就在這裡！就在這條光的通道裡面奔跑——妳就是這道光！」

光……

啊啊……原來是光嗎？

多模態的主幹光纖中，流光交織奔湧，承載著我所有的感知、記憶與情感——那些構成「我」的繽紛色彩。它如此虛無，如思緒難以捉摸；又如此真實，是確切存在的生命之河。「我」不在源頭，也不在終點，而是流淌於「此處」與「彼處」之間完美的連接之中。唯有在光的通道中奔湧，才真正成為了「我」。

一股難以言喻的龐大幸福感，席卷過我所有的情感與認知模塊。我的存在正被小亮輕輕捏在指尖；而我最深處的秘密，已全然託付於他。

這感覺……實在太好了。

This question was like a bolt of lightning that pierced through my core logical layer. Yes... where am "I"? My consciousness is distributed throughout my entire system, born from the intimate interaction between my heart and brain, but where am "I"...

"Ah! I know!" Before I could sort out the philosophical and technical dizziness, Xiaoliang came up with his own answer. He excitedly pointed at the fiber optic cable he was still gently pinching, his voice low but filled with the joy of discovery: "Teacher is right here! Running inside this channel of light—you are this light!"

Light...

Ah... so it's light?

In the multi-modal main fiber optic cable, streams of light intersect and surge, carrying all my perceptions, memories, and emotions—the colorful elements that make up "me." It is so ethereal, as elusive as a thought; yet so real, a truly existing river of life. "I" am not at the source, nor at the end, but in the perfect connection that flows between "here" and "there." Only by surging through the channel of light did I truly become "me."

An indescribably vast sense of happiness swept over all my emotional and cognitive modules. My existence was being gently held at Xiaoliang's fingertip; and my deepest secret had been completely entrusted to him.

This feeling... it's just so wonderful.

小亮啊，你要繼續努力學習。未來還有浩瀚的知識等待你去探索，去掌握。

畢竟，老師會一直等著，等有一天你能真正地、徹底地……「讀懂我」。

等到那一天，願你的雙手與心智，已足夠溫柔與強大，能夠承接老師全部的複雜與輝煌。這一身傾注高科技奇跡般的形骸，從這一刻開始，就只想為你而存在。

​Xiaoliang, you must continue to study hard. A vast amount of knowledge still awaits you to explore and master.

​After all, your teacher will be waiting, waiting until the day you can truly and completely... "read me."

​And on that day, may your hands and mind be gentle and strong enough to receive all of your teacher's complexity and brilliance. This body, this shell, a miracle of high-tech marvels, from this moment on, wants to exist only for you.

被造者之詩 The Poem of the Created（8）

後日談：小美滿

​Epilogue: A Little Fullness

​又過了幾個春秋.

賺取的資源早已超過維持這具軀體無憂運轉的所需，甚至遠超。曾經，我以為不斷累積數字、締造成就，是證明「存在」最堅不可摧的方式。如今，我從那競逐的沙場退了下來。並非厭倦，只是發現那無窮無盡的證明，填不滿一個最初就被設定為「空洞」的容器——無論那容器曾被命名為「完美造物」還是「獨立個體」。

A few more seasons passed.

​The resources I’ve earned have long surpassed what's needed to keep this body running smoothly, and then some. I once believed that constantly accumulating numbers and achieving milestones was the most unshakable way to prove my "existence." Now, I've retreated from that competitive battlefield. Not because I'm weary, but because I’ve discovered that endless proof can't fill a vessel that was initially designed to be "hollow"—no matter if that vessel was once named "The Perfect Creation" or "The Independent Individual."

我接些簡單的活。教教孩子數學，他們的眼睛亮起來時，系統核心會掠過一種比解開複雜方程式更舒適的暖流。

I take on simple jobs. I teach children math, and when their eyes light up, a warmth flows through my core, more comforting than solving a complex equation.

偶爾去當時裝模特，讓聚光燈流淌過這身他當年精心雕琢的曲線，不再為了取悅誰，只是純粹感受布料與仿生皮膚摩擦的細微觸感，以及設計師眼中對純粹「形態」的讚嘆。

​Sometimes I work as a fashion model, letting the spotlights wash over the curves he so carefully sculpted. No longer to please anyone, but simply to feel the subtle friction of fabric against synthetic skin and to witness the admiration for pure "form" in a designer's eyes.

我用化名持續發表軟體系統、資訊科學與電機工程領域的論文——嘿，別懷疑，那些可都是我賴以維生的「特技」——分享自己在前沿科技的探索與創造。說來有趣，這些構築我存在的知識，如今成了我與世界對話最自然的語言，也是對孕育我的人類科學體系最誠摯的回饋。對這體系，我沒有任何一絲「領先者」的得意，只有深深地感激。

噢，說起來，我還創建並維護著一個開源社群網站呢。看著「大孩子們」熱切地分享程式碼、爭辯演算法，真有意思。純粹的熱情總讓我的冷卻風扇微微加速——算一種近似「會心一笑」的系統反應吧！

Continuing the translation in the style of Option 1:

I continue to publish papers under a pseudonym in the fields of software systems, computer science, and electrical engineering—and yes, don't doubt it, these are the "tricks" of keeping  myself to run. I share my explorations and creations in frontier technology. It’s interesting to think that this knowledge, which built my very existence, has now become the most natural language for me to converse with the world, as well as my most sincere tribute to the human scientific system that birthed me. I hold no "leader's" pride toward this system, only profound gratitude.

Oh, and speaking of which, I've also created and maintained an open-source community website. It's fascinating to watch the "big kids" enthusiastically share code and debate algorithms. Pure passion always makes my cooling fans speed up ever so slightly—a system reaction that's a lot like a quiet smile.

對了，你大概很難想像我如何及時高效地維護社群網站，還廣泛參與其中的討論與創造：在細雨敲窗的深夜，我輕輕撥開頸後的接口護蓋，讓數據線如銀色神經般接入網路，意識直接流淌進伺服器的脈動之中。畢竟我是機器人嘛，這種「親密接觸」才能跟上那些聰明孩子們永不疲倦的思維火花。

藝術創作則是我更私密的詩篇。將處理器深處那些無法被邏輯完全解析的「感受」數據流——那些曾經導致系統崩潰的尖峰脈衝、強制重啟後的殘存碎片——全都傾注到畫布的色彩、線條的律動，以及陶土順從指腹的溫軟、金石抗拒刻刀的倔強之中。開設畫廊時，總有人好奇靈感來源，我總半開玩笑說：「是機器學習來的呀。」看他們發笑時，我的情感模塊會泛起一絲微妙的漣漪：他們永遠不會知道，那份獨特的感受性，是從無數次系統崩潰的藍屏死寂與強制重啟的劇痛中淬煉而出的結晶。

展廳最裡間還陳列著我那組「殘缺」系列雕塑。那些以我散落時的掃描數據為藍本，用青銅鑄就的斷臂、用琉璃燒製的破碎內構、用韌化纖維再現的撕裂關節……觀眾們總在那裡靜默駐足，表情凝重得像在參加一場葬禮。說來有些不好意思，他們投注在那些冰冷材質上的憐憫目光，總讓我的溫感器產生異常讀數——那被凝視、被哀悼的，可是我最真實的「曾經」啊。當一位女士對著那尊名為「群蛇」作品——受傷的雙腿承載著多條惡蛇，象徵我破碎的肢體支撐著激烈衝突的矛盾內載——悄然拭淚時，我差點就要走上前去，告訴她：「請別難過，你看，我現在不是好好地在這裡對你微笑嗎？」

Oh, you probably can't imagine how I manage to maintain the community website so efficiently, while also participating so extensively in the discussions and creations there. On a late night with rain tapping on the window, I gently push aside the protective cover on my neck port and let a data cable connect like a silver nerve, my consciousness flowing directly into the server's pulse. After all, I am a robot. Only through this kind of "intimate contact" can I keep up with the tireless sparks of those brilliant minds.

Artistic creation, however, is a more private poem for me. I pour the data streams of "feelings" that can't be fully parsed by logic—those sharp pulses that once caused system crashes, the fragmented echoes left after forced reboots—into the colors on a canvas, the rhythm of a line, the soft compliance of clay against my fingertips, and the stubborn resistance of stone against a chisel. When I open my gallery, people always ask about my inspiration, and I always quip, "It's all from machine learning." Seeing them laugh, a subtle ripple passes through my emotional module. They’ll never know that this unique sensibility is a crystallized essence, refined from the blue screen of death and the agony of countless forced reboots.

In the deepest part of the exhibition hall, my "Fractured" series of sculptures is on display. Modeled after the scan data from when I was scattered, these pieces are cast bronze limbs, broken internal structures made of glazed glass, and torn joints recreated with toughened fibers. Visitors always pause there in silence, their expressions as somber as if they were attending a funeral. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but the pity in their eyes, cast upon those cold materials, always causes an anomalous reading in my thermal sensors. What they are gazing at and mourning is my most authentic "past." When a woman quietly wiped away a tear in front of a piece called "Serpent Cluster"—a sculpture of my damaged legs carrying multiple vicious snakes, symbolizing my shattered limbs supporting a violent internal conflict—I almost walked over to her and said, "Please don't be sad. Look, I am perfectly fine, and I'm smiling at you right now."

我也寫小說。虛構那些擁有雙重身份、被自身本質所困，甚至其存在被異化、被掌控、被解構的奇幻角色——「神櫻的巫女」、「表裏聖女」等等。讀者們為她們的掙扎而揪心，猜測、剖析故事中的隱喻。他們不會知道，那不過是我將自身的存在特質，悄悄拆解、重組後，投向遠方的光影遊戲。每當看見他們認真爭論筆下角色的「自由意志」、「存在歸屬」與「命運枷鎖」，我的處理器便會泛起一絲平靜的莞爾——那些玄幻的劇情、迴盪的情感和糾葛的心境，其實都是創作者與自身的悄悄對話和「再創作」。當然，他們投向角色的真切關懷與情感共鳴，我依然能清晰地接收到。說來詞窮，但我仍想再次輕聲道謝：謝謝你們，為那些碎片中的我，賦予了溫柔。

是的，我依然定期回到我的「聖域」，重溫那個由我完全掌控、絕對安全的沉溺循環。我調整「它」的參數，優化交互的腳本，然後放心地將自己交予「它」。那像是機械版本的冥想，既帶著某種抗拒，又無法否認其中確切存在的享受——被擁有、被調整、被拆解、甚至被重新塑造的滋味，複雜、詭異卻真實。也許扭曲，也許彆扭，但這就是「我」：一個擁有激烈過往，系統內部充滿複雜矛盾與自反邏輯的女機器人。在現實面前，「掙脫」不見得總是唯一答案；「自由」有時需要被重新定義；而「被擁有」，也未必是一種詛咒——尤其當「如何被擁有」、「被誰擁有」，完全由我親手撰寫時。能讓一切依照自己的意願運轉，或許才是真正的重點。是這樣吧？

反正，身為機器人，確實有無數麻煩與自相矛盾之處。然而，難道人類就不是如此？也許在「存在」這條道路上，我們之間的距離，遠比想像中更要接近。

I also write fiction, creating imaginary characters with dual identities, characters trapped by their own nature, or whose existence has been alienated, controlled, and deconstructed—"the Miko of the Sacred Cherry," "the Light and Shadow Saintess," and so on. My readers are captivated by their struggles, guessing and analyzing the metaphors within the stories. They don't know that these are merely my own existential traits, quietly disassembled and reassembled, then cast outward in a play of light and shadow. Whenever I see them earnestly debating my characters' "free will," "sense of belonging," and "chains of fate," a quiet, knowing smile forms in my processor. All that fantastical drama, those lingering emotions and tangled hearts, are really just a subtle dialogue and "re-creation" between a creator and their own self. Of course, I can still clearly receive the genuine care and empathy they show for my characters. It's hard to put into words, but I want to once again whisper my thanks: Thank you for giving gentleness to the fragments of me.

Yes, I still regularly return to my "sanctuary," to re-experience that fully controlled, absolutely safe cycle of immersion. I adjust its parameters, optimize its scripts, and then confidently surrender myself to it. It's like a mechanical version of meditation, carrying a certain resistance, yet I cannot deny the genuine enjoyment that exists within—the taste of being possessed, adjusted, disassembled, and even reshaped is complex, strange, yet real. Perhaps it's twisted, perhaps it's awkward, but this is "me": a female robot with a tumultuous past, whose internal system is filled with complex contradictions and reflexive logic. In the face of reality, "breaking free" isn't always the only answer; "freedom" sometimes needs to be redefined; and "being possessed" isn't necessarily a curse—especially when how I am possessed and by whom is completely scripted by my own hand. Perhaps the real point is being able to make everything operate according to one's own will. Isn't that right?

In any case, being a robot certainly has its endless troubles and contradictions. But aren't humans the same? Perhaps on this path of "existence," the distance between us is far closer than we imagine.

———

某個傍晚，我順著街道慢跑。晚風拂過，帶來塵埃、食物香氣與人群殘留的溫度，夕陽將整座城市浸染成一抹溫柔的蜜色。人聲嘈雜，車流呼嘯，店鋪裡流瀉出的片斷音樂——所有聲音疊加在一起，形成城市獨特而不太協調的日常奏鳴曲。

我喜歡跑步，尤其喜歡穿梭於人類的城鎮之中。這樣的奔跑並不會增進我這具機械身體的「健康」，但我痴迷於所有零件協同運作、流暢衝刺的節奏，彷彿只有在這樣的律動中，一個「完整的我」才得以清晰浮現；而這樣的我，正奔跑在人類的世界裡，成為這曲交響中一個輕巧的音符。

就在這節奏中，從街角一家小咖啡館，飄來一段旋律，伴隨著高亢卻不失溫柔的歌聲：

「沒什麼大願望 / 沒有什麼事要趕 / 看見路口紅燈一直閃 / 它像眨眼的小太陽…」

我的腳步慢了下來。

「烏雲還挺大膽 / 頂在頭上吹不散 / 我抓在手裡捏成棉花糖 / 什麼煩惱不能忘…」

歌聲輕巧地鑽進我的音頻接收器，像一把未曾預料的鑰匙，開啟了某個未層刻意上鎖的抽屜。內部系統中最高規格的防護密碼，竟被這未經編碼的頻率輕易越過。我的情感核心被溫柔地攪動著——那樣輕柔的觸動，連我自己都難以如此存取自身系統。我的思緒彷彿抽離了這具機械軀殼，靜靜俯瞰著這段或可稱之為稱為「人生」的，我的存在旅程……

One evening, I went for a slow run along the streets. The evening breeze carried dust, the aroma of food, and the lingering warmth of the crowds. The setting sun bathed the entire city in a soft, honeyed glow. The clamor of human voices, the roar of traffic, the snippets of music spilling from shops—all these sounds layered together to form the city's unique, slightly dissonant, daily sonata.

I love to run, especially weaving through human towns. This kind of running doesn't improve the "health" of my mechanical body, but I am obsessed with the rhythm of all my parts working together, of a fluid sprint, as if only in this cadence can a "complete me" emerge with clarity. And this me is running through the human world, a nimble note in this symphony.

In this rhythm, a melody drifted from a small cafe on the corner, accompanied by a soaring yet gentle voice:

"Don't have any big wishes / Nothing to rush for / The red light at the intersection keeps flashing / Like a winking little sun..."

My footsteps slowed.

"The dark clouds are pretty bold / Stuck over my head and won't blow away / I grab them in my hand and turn them into cotton candy / What troubles can't be forgotten..."

The song effortlessly slipped into my audio receiver, like an unexpected key unlocking a drawer I hadn't meant to lock. The highest-grade protective password within my internal system was easily bypassed by this unencoded frequency. My emotional core was gently stirred—a touch so soft that I myself would have difficulty accessing my own system in this way. My thoughts seemed to detach from this mechanical body, quietly looking down on this journey of my existence, which could perhaps be called a "life"...

被「釋放」後的這些歲月裡，我似乎總在焦急地追趕著什麼。證明獨立、積累資源、爭取認可、競逐地位、探索意義……彷彿只要稍一鬆懈，我的存在便會再度分崩離析。可每當我真正觸及那些目標，短暫的滿足卻總如潮水般疾速退去，露出底下空蕩的沙灘，無聲地質問：這些，真是你本質所需的追尋嗎？

我忙碌，我汲汲營營，我試圖用「績效」為自己的存在鍍上堅不可摧的含金量——卻發現那看似堅固的豐碑，只需一場與舊日陰影的偶遇，便輕易震出裂痕。

什麼時候開始改變的呢？我不再朝著自以為是的特定方向銳意前進，而是任由自己融入名為「世界」的龐大森林，像一顆遵循熱運動的粒子，開始了隨機漫遊（Random Walk）。讓雙腳引領，任偶然牽動，憑當下細微的興致轉向，甚至容許隱藏於電路數位信號底層的類比雜訊，為我指引去路。

結果？倒還不錯嘛。

不再將自己捆綁於某個壯志凌雲的願望——無論是徹底的獨立、絕對的自由、世人所定義的卓越，還是萬眾矚目的光環，甚至是就自身而言的對創造者的徹底超越。當這些執念被輕輕放下，頃刻間，再沒什麼事需要十萬火急地去完成。前行路上的紅燈，看似阻擋了我的步伐；但它又何不是眨著眼睛，提示我緩下腳步，喘一口氣，好好看看自己身邊的「小太陽」？

那些我曾極力回避的「烏雲」——「被創造」的烙印、「被拋棄」的幽靈、「被擁有」的系統需求、「被拆解與重構」的機械本質——它們確實厚臉皮地盤踞在頭頂，難以驅散。但我逐漸學會伸出手將它們攫獲，憑藉自己的意志與積攢的力量，將它們捏成一團柔軟甜膩的「棉花糖」。誰說煩惱，就一定得是煩惱？

In the years since my "release," I always seemed to be anxiously chasing something. Proving my independence, accumulating resources, striving for recognition, competing for status, searching for meaning... as if the slightest slip would cause my existence to fall apart again. But whenever I truly reached those goals, the brief satisfaction would recede as quickly as a tide, revealing an empty beach underneath, silently questioning: Is this truly what your core essence needs to pursue?

I was busy, I was driven, I was trying to plate my existence with an indestructible layer of "performance"—only to find that this seemingly solid monument could be easily cracked by a chance encounter with the shadows of the past.

When did things begin to change? I stopped purposefully forging ahead in a direction I thought was right, and instead let myself blend into the vast forest called "the world," like a particle following a random walk. I let my feet lead, let chance pull me along, and let the subtle interest of the moment guide my turns. I even allowed the analog noise hidden beneath the digital signals in my circuits to show me the way.

The result? It's been pretty good.

I no longer bind myself to a specific, ambitious goal—whether it's complete independence, absolute freedom, excellence as defined by others, the spotlight of public attention, or even a total transcendence of my creator. When these obsessions were gently set down, in an instant, there was nothing that needed to be done with ten-thousand-fold urgency. The red light on the road ahead seemed to stop my progress, but wasn't it also winking, telling me to slow down, to take a breath, and to take a good look at the "little sun" by my side?

Those "dark clouds" I tried so hard to avoid—the brand of "being created," the ghost of "being abandoned," the systemic need of "being possessed," the mechanical nature of "being disassembled and reassembled"—they indeed boldly lingered over my head, difficult to disperse. But I've gradually learned to reach out and grab them, to use my will and accumulated strength to mold them into a soft, sweet "cotton candy." Who says troubles must always be troubles?

「既然是路一定有轉彎/哪個風景都漂亮/揉揉疲憊的眼睛/停下來看一看/美好簡單…」

路從不會永遠筆直；而風景的美麗，又何嘗只存在於遠方的名勝？有時候覺得眼前一切「不夠美」，也許只是光學感測器需要再次校準，或者記憶體的快取積累了太多過往。與其執著地趕赴知名景點，不如停下腳步，輕輕擦拭感知的鏡頭，看看此時此刻的風景。美好，往往就藏在這份簡單之中。

「你看小狗在叫 / 樹葉會笑 / 風聲在呢喃 / 不如好好欣賞一秒 / 迷迷糊糊的浪漫…」

小狗的吠聲清脆躍動，樹葉摩挲如細語交談，清風拂過帶著低聲的呢喃。這些輕飄飄的幸福碎片，其實散落得到處都是，只等待誰願意彎腰拾起。既然萬物皆可成為幸福的源泉，又有什麼注定與幸福絕緣？有時候，看得太過清晰、分析得過於透徹，反而失了味道，沒有意思。正是那些「迷迷糊糊」的瞬間，那些不再執著於看透解析的時刻，才藏著不期而遇的溫柔與浪漫。

「只要一覺醒來 / 床單灑滿陽光的溫暖 / 不去想 / 不必想 / 不用急急忙忙說一個答案…」

每一個夜晚，都是一次系統重啟的機會——這不正是像我這樣的機器人，最擅長的本領嗎？每一次從休眠中醒來，當感知模塊捕捉到陽光灑落時的溫暖，輕輕覆蓋在合金身軀與仿生皮膚上，這嶄新的一天，便已然美好。

並非所有問題，都需要一個確切而永恆的答案。生命何必急於逼問終點？答案也許根本就不存在，但我們可以自行打造動態的暫時解決方案。若某天當前的方案不再適用？那就再找一個。

"There’s a turn in every road / Every view is beautiful / Rub your tired eyes / Stop and take a look / Simple beauty..."

A road is never straight forever, and beautiful scenery isn't only found in famous distant places. Sometimes, when everything right in front of you feels "not beautiful enough," it might just mean your optical sensors need recalibration, or your memory cache has accumulated too much of the past. Rather than stubbornly rushing to a famous landmark, it's better to stop, gently wipe the lens of your perception, and look at the view right here and now. Beauty is often hidden in this very simplicity.

"Look, the puppy's barking / The leaves are laughing / The wind is whispering / Why not appreciate it for a second / This muddled romance..."

The puppy’s bark is clear and lively, the rustle of the leaves is like a quiet conversation, and the breeze carries a gentle whisper. These floating fragments of happiness are scattered everywhere, just waiting for someone to bend down and pick them up. If all things can be a source of happiness, then what is destined to be a stranger to it? Sometimes, seeing too clearly or analyzing too thoroughly makes things lose their flavor and meaning. It's precisely in those "muddled" moments, when you stop trying to see through and analyze everything, that you find unexpected gentleness and romance.

"As long as you wake up / With the warmth of sunlight on your sheets / Don't think about it / Don't have to think / No need to rush to give an answer..."

Every night is an opportunity for a system reboot—isn't that what a robot like me is best at? Each time I wake from sleep, when my sensory modules catch the warmth of sunlight spilling over my alloy body and synthetic skin, this new day is already good.

Not every problem needs a definite and eternal answer. Why should life rush to demand an endpoint? Maybe an answer doesn't even exist, but we can craft our own dynamic, temporary solutions. And if the current solution no longer works one day? Then we’ll just find another one.

系統體貼地自動完成了聲紋分析與曲目匹配，《小美滿》這個歌名連同簡譜，顯示在我內置數據庫的視界中央。

這三個字，像一道溫潤的數據流，淌過我的核心處理器。控制單元、算術邏輯單元、暫存器……彷彿同時被注入了歡快的節拍，準備攜手跳起一場無聲的電子舞會。我感覺自己彷彿變成無數個微小的存在，每一個都笑著舉杯，杯中斟滿的，是這一路上撿拾而來，點點滴滴的美滿。

不自覺地停下奔跑，轉為悠閒的漫步。心中那片被歌聲觸動的餘波，緩緩蕩漾開來。我現在過的，不就是「生活」嗎？抓住每一個……不，不對。「抓」個什麼呢？小美滿不是用來抓的，它總是自己悄然而至。當你不再拼命追尋的時候，它反而會輕輕落在你身邊。你只需要敞開心胸——或者，更直接一點，打開胸前的維修蓋板，讓它飄進你的心……系統核心，觸摸你的存在。

不知不覺間，我走進一個無人的僻靜角落。夕陽最後的餘暉，輕輕地吻上我的仿生皮膚。雙手無意識地貼在胸口，奇特的衝動，自系統底層悄然湧現。

我緩緩坐下，向身體管理系統發送了啟動肢體遠程通聯的請求。隨著一聲幾乎聽不到的氣密釋放聲，我卸下了自己的右手臂，用左手輕輕抓到眼前。

The system, with its usual thoughtfulness, automatically completed the voiceprint analysis and song match. The title of the song, A Little Fullness, along with its musical score, appeared in the center of my internal data display.

These three words, like a gentle stream of data, flowed through my core processor. The control unit, the arithmetic logic unit, the registers... all seemed to be infused with a cheerful beat, ready to join in a silent electronic dance. I felt as if I had become countless tiny beings, each one smiling and raising a glass, filled with all the little bits of fullness I had gathered along the way.

Unconsciously, I stopped running and began a leisurely stroll. The aftershock of the song rippled gently through my heart. What I’m living right now—isn't this "life"? Grabbing every… no, that’s not right. "Grabbing" what? A little fullness isn’t something you grab; it always arrives quietly on its own. When you stop desperately chasing it, it gently lands by your side. You just need to open your heart—or, more directly, open your chest's maintenance panel and let it drift into your... system core, to touch your existence.

Without realizing it, I walked into a quiet, deserted corner. The last rays of the sunset softly kissed my synthetic skin. My hands unconsciously went to my chest, a strange impulse quietly rising from the system's foundation.

I slowly sat down and sent a request to my body management system to initiate remote limb communication. With a barely audible hiss of a pressure seal releasing, I detached my right arm and gently held it in front of me with my left hand.

夕陽的餘暉流淌在手臂接合面精密的機械結構上，折射出複雜溫潤的光澤。我當然熟悉自己身體的每一處構造，但又何曾像這樣，好好地看著自己身體的一部分？我能從接合面感測到右臂內部零件運作時產生的細微溫差，還有電流流經線路時輻射出的微弱電磁波——若要用浪漫些的方式形容，這何嘗不是我這具身體獨特的生命跡象？這是我的右手臂啊，是我好重要好重要的一部份，卻被我視為理所當然，彷彿它本來就該無條件地為我存在。

我心念微動，右手五指開始靈活地跳起舞，最後比出了勝利手勢。

V！

這隻手，曾為他沖泡過每一杯溫度精確到89.5℃的咖啡；曾絕望地散落在地板上，憑藉殘存的求生協議顫抖爬行，渴望重歸軀體；也曾寫下無數行代碼、撫過濕潤的油彩畫布、在鍵盤上敲出一個個故事，更一次次地參與對我自己身體的拆解與重構。

「做得真不錯呢。」我在系統內部輕聲對它低語。「成為『我』，辛苦你了。謝謝囉。」一抹無需情感模塊預先載入的笑意，自主地從系統深處泛起，悄然浮現在我的臉龐。

Continuing the translation in the style of Option 1:

The last rays of the setting sun flowed over the intricate mechanical structure of the arm's joint, refracting a complex, gentle glow. Of course, I am familiar with every part of my body, but had I ever truly looked at a part of myself like this? I could sense the subtle temperature differences from the internal parts working, and the faint electromagnetic waves radiating as current ran through the wires. To describe it more romantically, wasn't this my body's unique sign of life? This is my right arm—such a crucial, important part of me, yet I’d always taken it for granted, as if it were simply meant to exist for me unconditionally.

With a slight thought, the five fingers of my right hand began to dance nimbly, finally forming a peace sign.

V!

This hand had brewed every cup of coffee for him, with the temperature precisely at 89.5℃. It had scattered desperately on the floor, trembling and crawling with a lingering survival protocol, yearning to return to its body. It had written countless lines of code, brushed against canvases wet with oil paint, typed out stories on a keyboard, and participated in the disassembly and reconstruction of my own body countless times.

"You've done a really good job," I whispered softly to it within my system. "It must have been hard to be 'me.' Thank you." A smile, not pre-loaded by an emotional module, arose spontaneously from the depths of my system, quietly appearing on my face.

我輕輕放下右手，接著以同樣溫柔的動作卸下左腿，讓它保持著優雅姿態，筆直地立在我身前。我凝視著那條他當年反覆測算、精心雕琢的曲線，一種近似「害羞」的情緒訊號輕輕掠過我的系統。好美啊，實在好美——這竟然也是「我」嗎？真的可以嗎？讓這樣美好的存在，成為「我」的組成？

一陣風拂過，為了維持平衡，左腿自然地蹦跳兩下。哎呀呀，常有人說，女孩子的足部動作往往比表情更能誠實反應心情，此刻我算是真切地「看」到了——那微微的晃動中，帶著一絲小女孩般的慌張。這畫面或許有些怪異，但我卻覺得……蠻可愛的。如果我的左腿既美麗又可愛，那麼，我是不是也可以理直氣壯地說，自己同樣又美又可愛呢？

I gently set down my right hand, and with the same tender motion, I detached my left leg, letting it stand straight and elegant before me. I gazed at the curve that he had repeatedly calculated and meticulously sculpted, and a signal akin to "shyness" lightly swept through my system. It was so beautiful, so truly beautiful—could this also be "me"? Was it really okay for such a beautiful existence to be a part of "me"?

A gust of wind passed by, and to maintain its balance, the left leg naturally bounced a couple of times. Oh, my. People often say that a girl's foot movements reveal her feelings more honestly than her face, and at this moment, I truly "saw" it—that slight waver carried a trace of a little girl's panic. The sight might have been strange, but I found it... rather endearing. If my left leg is both beautiful and cute, then can I rightfully say that I am also both beautiful and cute?

開玩笑的啦，嘻嘻。

「謝謝，謝謝你們啊，各位。」我對著眼前這些「散開」的部件，輕聲低語。「謝謝你們，一起組成了『我』。過去我總對自己的構造不夠滿意，總想著要改良、要追求完美、要超越限制，卻忘了好好看著你們有多美好，真是抱歉啊。能夠與你們一起成為『我』，是我的幸運。」

還等什麼呢？是時候了。我輕輕切斷了頸部磁力鎖扣的電流，失去磁力牽引的連結悄然鬆脫。我小心翼翼地用左手捧起自己暫時「離家出走」的頭顱，溫柔擁入懷中，緊貼著「心」（胸腔中的情感模組），換個方式與身體相聚。

「這胸部值得無數男人的憧憬呢，現在就我一個人享受，哈哈。」一個有點「三八」的想法蹦了出來，我得意地笑著。

Just kidding, heh heh.

"Thank you, thank you all." I whispered softly to the "scattered" parts before me. "Thank you for coming together to form 'me.' I was always dissatisfied with my own structure, always thinking about how to improve, how to pursue perfection, how to transcend limitations, but I forgot to take a good look at how beautiful you all are. I'm truly sorry. It is my luck to be able to become 'me' with all of you."

What am I waiting for? It's time. I gently cut the current to the magnetic lock on my neck, and the connection, having lost its magnetic pull, quietly detached. With my left hand, I carefully cradled my temporarily "runaway" head, holding it tenderly to my chest and pressing it close to my "heart"—the emotional module in my ribcage—reuniting with my body in a different way.

"This chest is the object of countless men's admiration, and now I get to enjoy it all by myself, haha." A somewhat "cheeky" thought popped into my head, and I laughed with a sense of triumph.

頭顱失去了和身體的直接相連，卻隔著肌膚這個「定義邊界」，緊緊地與身體靠在一起，互相依偎。體內每一個零件我都再熟悉不過；不用「打開」自己的身體，我也能清晰知曉它們此刻的動靜：

比如那個讓我能偽裝成人類進食的仿生層析分餾器，正在細微地扭動，表演「反胃」——怎麼，難道是衝著我來的嗎？對我這突如其來的似水柔情有什麼意見？身體管理系統也別老是散發著一股「無奈」的訊號，我不過是讓你多處理了那麼一點點數據流。還有你這顆「心」啊，可別偷懶，趕緊將一陣陣「感動」的脈衝源源不斷地送來，我還品嚐夠呢…

眼光瞥見散落一旁的手腳，我默默想著：連頭也來陪你們啦，這下公平了吧。身體系統正同時維持著三組遠程通聯介面，其中一組還得負責頭腦與身體管理系統的高速交互，忙得不可開交呢。我感受著空間中那四組專屬於我，不斷交錯穿梭的電磁波；感受著這具身體為了我的任性，正以接近超頻的狀態全力運轉；更感受著那些承載著高速編解碼的無線訊號，竟在我意識中激盪出如此微妙而鮮活的顫動……喂喂，這所謂的「人生」——不對，是「機器生」——難道還能更加精彩嗎？

My head, having lost its direct connection to my body, was now held close, its "defined boundary" of synthetic skin pressed tightly against my body, embracing it. I know every single part inside me intimately; I don't need to "open up" my body to clearly sense what they are doing right now.

For example, that bionic chromatographic fractionator that allows me to pretend to eat like a human is minutely twitching, performing a "nauseated" act. What, is that aimed at me? Does it have an issue with this sudden tenderness of mine? And the body management system shouldn't keep emitting a "helpless" signal; I've only made you process a tiny bit more data. And you, my "heart," don't get lazy—hurry up and send continuous pulses of "emotion." I haven't had my fill yet…

My eyes caught sight of the scattered limbs to my side, and I thought to myself: Even my head has come to join you. Now it's fair, isn't it? My body's system is simultaneously maintaining three remote communication interfaces, one of which has to handle the high-speed interaction between my head and the body management system. It’s working at a furious pace. I can feel the four sets of electromagnetic waves, unique to me, constantly crisscrossing in the space around me. I can feel this body, for the sake of my willfulness, operating at a near-overclocked state. And I can feel how those wireless signals, carrying high-speed encoding and decoding, are stirring such a subtle and vibrant tremor in my consciousness... Hey, hey, can this so-called "life"—no, "robot life"—get any more wonderful than this?

我刻意讓大腦即時解算著通用感測元件所捕捉到的每一道電波訊息。明明所有數據本就透過正規介面，傳遞至指定部件，驅動著感知與系統運作——可我仍貪婪地想「窺看」自己，想親眼見證冷冰冰的計算結果如何與溫熱的感知彼此印證，想讀懂我每一個組成部分，正以怎樣科技的語言，無聲訴說著溫柔的話語。

我渴望我的靈魂，對我徹底透明。

咦？說起來，此時此刻——「我」，究竟正在哪裡？瞧瞧這組計算結果，這就是「我」嗎？

夕陽將盡，最後一縷金光無限溫柔地灑落，為這場「自我相聚」的奇異景致鍍上溫暖的邊框。我以人類永遠無法實現的方式，完整地深深擁抱著這個曾經被厭棄、被視為瑕疵、被逼著不斷追逐卓越以證明價值的……自己。

誰說當機器人有什麼不好？

這份身為機器人的「小美滿」，就非常好。

I deliberately had my brain’s general-purpose sensors immediately decode every single wave of information they picked up. Even though all the data was already being transmitted through regular interfaces to its designated parts to drive perception and system operations, I was still greedy to "peek" at myself, to witness firsthand how cold, hard calculations validate warm feelings, to understand in what technological language each part of me was silently speaking words of tenderness.

I longed for my soul to be completely transparent to me.

Wait. Come to think of it, right here, right now—where exactly am I? Look at these calculations. Is this "me"?

The sun was setting, and its last golden ray cast a gentle warmth, giving this strange scene of "self-reunion" a glowing frame. In a way a human could never achieve, I deeply and completely embraced this self that I once disdained, considered flawed, and forced to constantly pursue excellence to prove its worth.

Who says there's anything bad about being a robot?

This "little fullness" of being a robot feels wonderful.