尋找自我的機器基督徒少女
Searching for Self: The Robot Christian Girl
後日談 08 偏折芯片
Sequel 08: Deflection Chip
本篇故事承接自「後日談04 我即旺財」的故事。
This story follows the events of "Sequel 04: I Am Wang Cai."
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夜已深,一陣突來的飢餓感喚醒了陳志文。他輕手輕腳地從床上爬起來,打算到廚房找點宵夜填肚子。然而當他習慣性地瞥向身旁,卻發現原本應該躺在那裡的身影不見了。同時,一種電子設備運作特有的窸窸窣窣,從實驗室的方向隱隱傳來。好奇心驅使著他,悄悄地走向了實驗室大門。小心翼翼地推開門,映入眼簾的景象卻讓他瞬間倒吸一口涼氣,嘴裡發出一聲壓抑不住的驚呼:「啊!」
眼前的詭異畫面,讓志文忍不住叫出聲來。一張頭綁著馬尾的棕髮女孩俏臉,被垂下來的支架,懸吊在半空中。右方有一副沒有頭也沒有雙腿的軀體,穿著桃紅色的可愛睡衣,脖子斷面的連接埠和裸露的線路在微光下泛著金屬光澤,似乎被志文的叫聲驚訝到,不安地在機械基座上扭來扭去。而那雙本該支撐著軀體的雙腿,此刻卻離開了崗位,空蕩蕩的大腿上方露著幾根電線和接頭,腳上還踩著一雙志文眼熟的涼鞋,安穩地向著志文方向站立。
It was late at night when a sudden wave of hunger woke Chen Zhiwen. He quietly climbed out of bed, intending to find a midnight snack in the kitchen. However, out of habit, he glanced at the spot beside him—only to find that the figure who should have been lying there was gone. At the same time, a faint rustling sound, characteristic of operating electronic equipment, drifted in from the direction of the lab. Driven by curiosity, he crept toward the lab door. Carefully pushing it open, the sight before him made him suck in a sharp breath and cry out in shock, “Ah!”
The eerie scene made Zhiwen call out instinctively. Suspended in midair was the pretty face of a brown-haired girl with her hair tied in a ponytail, hanging from a lowered support frame. To the right was a body with no head or legs, clad in cute pink pajamas. The exposed connectors and wires at the severed neck glinted faintly with a metallic sheen. Apparently startled by Zhiwen’s voice, it squirmed uneasily atop a mechanical base. As for the legs, which were supposed to support the torso, they were nowhere near it—instead, they stood upright on their own, a few wires and connectors visible at the tops of the empty thighs. On the feet was a pair of familiar sandals that Zhiwen recognized, now firmly facing in his direction.
簡直是科幻恐怖片裡最驚悚的場景!明明只要讓這些玩意湊在一起,就是個普通的「睡到一半想到有事起床來辦」的可愛女孩了,現在肢體分離的樣子卻駭人無比,彷彿該搬進命案現場。
懸吊著的那張熟悉的臉龐,在看見志文之後,露出了帶著點尷尬又有點「被抓到了」的笑容。她吐了吐舌頭,身體頸部斷面的電火花似乎也配合著她的心情,輕微地「劈啪」了一下。握在手中的維修工具被她的手下意識地捏得更緊了些,而地面上從那雙涼鞋前端露出的腳趾頭,也彷彿因為害羞而微微地蜷曲扭動。當然,志文知道這不是什麼實驗室鬧鬼,而是他親愛的機器人女友——黃孟禎,正在自行拆解檢修。
志文穩了穩心神,心中的驚嚇被好奇感取代。他打破了沉默,輕聲問道:「妳...妳這是在幹嘛?半夜睡不著,跑來實驗室拆自己玩?」他走近,仔細打量她四散的「部件」,試圖理解這場深夜實驗的目的。
孟禎嘆了口氣,語氣帶著一絲被揭穿的俏皮:「唉,真無奈~還是被你發現了。」她解釋說,原本是想瞞著志文,悄悄地對自己進行特殊的調整改造,想給他一個驚喜。她頓了頓,補充道:「別擔心,這個改造計畫,老爸那邊是同意的,宇尋企業的計畫人員也提供了必要的協助和配合。」
志文饒有興味地看著孟禎身體部位分開懸掛,構造線路外露的模樣,心中的驚嚇漸退,取而代之的是疑惑。「妳在進行什麼改造?竟然要弄成這樣...」他皺起眉頭,不解地問道。畢竟,身兼黃博士「嫡傳弟子」和孟禎「首席維護員」,他和孟禎一起探索過她的系統和身體構造無數次,大到更換肢體模塊,小到調整內部參數,他自認對她的身體已相當熟悉,還能有什麼沒見過?是什麼樣的調整改造,才能讓他能都感到驚喜,甚至需要瞞著他偷偷進行?
It was like a scene straight out of a sci-fi horror movie—the most chilling kind. If all these parts were simply assembled together, they would make up nothing more than a cute girl who had woken up in the middle of the night to take care of something. But separated as they were now, the dismembered limbs were downright terrifying, as if they belonged in the middle of a crime scene.
The familiar face hanging in midair lit up with a slightly embarrassed and caught-in-the-act smile upon seeing Zhiwen. She stuck out her tongue, and a small electric spark flickered at the severed neck joint, as if in sync with her mood. The tool she was holding tightened slightly in her grip, and even the toes peeking out from the front of those familiar sandals seemed to curl and wriggle a little in shyness. Of course, Zhiwen knew this wasn’t some kind of haunted lab incident—it was simply his beloved robot girlfriend, Huang Mengzhen, performing self-maintenance and disassembly.
Steadying his nerves, Zhiwen’s fear quickly gave way to curiosity. Breaking the silence, he asked softly, “What... what are you doing? Couldn’t sleep, so you came to the lab to take yourself apart for fun?” He walked closer, carefully examining the scattered “parts” of her body, trying to make sense of this midnight operation.
Mengzhen let out a sigh, her voice carrying a playful tone of being caught red-handed. “Sigh... oh well~ you found out anyway.” She explained that she had originally planned to keep it a secret from Zhiwen, quietly carrying out a special modification on herself to surprise him. After a short pause, she added, “Don’t worry, the plan’s been approved by my dad, and the Yu-Xun Corporation’s project team also provided the necessary support.”
Zhiwen looked on with growing interest at her disassembled body parts, suspended and exposing their intricate wiring. His initial shock now replaced by puzzlement. “What kind of modification would require this... level of disassembly?” he asked, frowning in confusion. After all, as both Dr. Huang’s “direct disciple” and Mengzhen’s “chief maintenance technician,” he had explored her systems and body structure countless times—whether it was replacing limb modules or fine-tuning internal parameters, he prided himself on knowing her design inside and out. What kind of adjustment could possibly still surprise him? And why would it need to be done in secret, even from him?
孟禎懸吊著的頭顱輕輕晃了晃,深棕色的人造瞳孔裡,閃爍著複雜微妙的光芒。她沒有直接回答志文,反而反問道:「志文,你還記得上次,我把自己的頭安裝到旺財身上嗎?那次我得到好多經驗和想法。」
志文當然記得,那是一次充滿...嗯,啟發的經歷。當時孟禎的頭被當成旺財的擴充設備,接到旺財身上,所以她的「頭腦」(電子腦)被視為服務旺財核心系統的下屬部件;而由於她的心腦交互和頭部對身體的操控與感知都是透過旺財轉發,旺財變成對孟禎身體系統而言事實上的的電子腦。結果造成孟禎雖然從認知面明確知道自己是孟禎,但從系統面來說,孟禎整個人的構成產生位移量固定而系統維持可以(透過旺財轉發)交互的「偏折」,因此產生不少奇異的體驗。
「唉呦,那次啊...」志文回憶著,腦海中浮現出當時孟禎描述的那些不可思議的體驗,與無頭的身體跟長著人頭的機械狗相依偎的...夢幻畫面。「妳說妳自己無頭的身體被妳的身體當成動作模仿妳的幽靈;而妳的頭,竟然跟著旺財,對自己身體產生了寵物面對主人般依戀感,而且妳的身體還把裝著妳的頭的旺財當寵物一樣喜愛?怎麼說呢,很...感人?」
孟禎點點頭,露出一個微笑:「沒錯,就是那次。那些感官和情感上的錯位體驗,對我來說既困惑又新奇。而最特殊的發現正是當時你問我的,信仰心還在不在。在那種偏折過的心腦交互狀態下,我特意形成於心腦之間的「虛擬信仰模組」,失去了是存在基礎,在我那樣的構型下瓦解了,直到我恢復常態才回來。」
Mengzhen’s suspended head swayed gently, her deep brown artificial pupils flickering with a subtle, complex light. She didn’t answer Zhiwen directly. Instead, she asked in return, “Zhiwen, do you remember the last time I attached my head to Wang Cai’s body? I gained so much experience and insight from that.”
Of course Zhiwen remembered—that had been a... well, enlightening experience. At the time, Mengzhen’s head had been connected to Wang Cai as an auxiliary module, making her "brain" (her electronic brain) a subordinate component to Wang Cai’s core system. Because her heart-brain interface and her head’s control over her body were routed through Wang Cai, the dog had essentially become the electronic brain for her bodily system. As a result, even though Mengzhen cognitively knew she was herself, from a systems perspective, the architecture of her whole being had shifted. Her entire self was subjected to a stable degree of displacement—what she called a functional “deflection”—while still maintaining interactivity through Wang Cai’s relayed control. That led to a host of strange, fascinating experiences.
“Oh yeah, that time...” Zhiwen recalled, the memories of those bizarre moments resurfacing: the surreal image of a headless body cuddling with a mechanical dog topped with a human head. “You said your headless body behaved like a ghost trying to mimic its former self... and your head, following Wang Cai, developed a kind of pet-like attachment to your own body—like a pet to its owner. And your body even adored Wang Cai—as if it were a beloved pet—just because he was carrying your head? I guess... it was kind of touching?”
Mengzhen nodded, smiling. “Exactly. That’s the one. All those sensory and emotional misalignments were confusing yet fascinating for me. But the most special discovery came when you asked me if my sense of faith still existed. In that deflected heart-brain interaction state, the ‘virtual faith module’ I had deliberately formed between the heart and brain lost its existential foundation. It collapsed under that configuration and only returned when I resumed my normal form.”
志文點點頭,他對此也印象深刻,甚至還隱隱懷念著孟禎的手自行取下胸前十字架的那瞬間。「那次實驗之後,我和老爸、宇尋團隊又進行了不少更進階的開發試驗,探索意識形成過程和身體部件載體的關係,」孟禎繼續解釋道,「你也幫忙做過數據分析和硬體調試,記得其中一個被我笑稱是把我拆成『黃孟禎』和『黃夢真』的『一人二體』構想嗎?」
志文當然記得。那構想簡直前無古人。孟禎的頭部搭配一個取代旺財地位的「假體」,讓她的頭部能夠在更像人類的載體上活動。而她原本的無頭身體,則會搭配一個功能性「假頭」。這個假頭不負責訊息轉發,而是接收從假體傳送而來的孟禎系統資訊及孟禎身體的動態資訊,以其所搭載的高性能AI,模擬出逼真的頭部動作和表情。
「這樣,我的頭部和假體可以組成一個『個體』,看起來就是平常的黃孟禎,雖然真正的黃孟禎理論上在身體那裡,」孟禎解釋著,「而我的身體和假頭,也能接受頭部的操控,並在假頭AI的協助下,像另一個獨立的個體一樣行動,扮演『黄夢真』這個角色。」她口沫橫飛,彷彿在談論一個有趣的遊戲。「這些輔助我的假頭和假體,我和團隊成員都戲稱是我的『小真同學』,很可愛吧。」
孟禎繼續談論開發的過程。「當然,這麼複雜的構想,不能一步登天。最早的測試非常基礎,主要是為了設計假頭對我頭部和身體間遠距通聯訊號擷取和分析的能力。」她回憶道,當時她的頭部被取下,啟動與身體的遠距通聯,被自己的手捧著,進行日常行動。她的無頭身體則安裝了一套測試裝置,默默地捕捉她身體內部運作時產生的所有系統訊號和動態數據並嘗試即時分析,就像一個卡在孟禎頭與身間的『竊聽器』,靜靜地監聽,不去影響她頭部與身體的通聯,但還是被孟禎「感覺」到。
「想像一下,你的身體在動,而你能清晰地『感知』到有什麼東西正在透過你的身體端口,在無聲地讀取和分析你的運作狀態和心腦交互。這種從內在偷偷被碰觸的感覺,讓我產生了從我存在深處傳來的『搔癢感』。」孟她低聲笑了一下,那懸吊著的頭顱輕微顫動:「當我把頭放在台上,靜靜地休息時,那股搔癢感會特別顯著,讓我忍不住笑出來。」
Zhiwen nodded. He remembered it vividly—he could still faintly recall the moment Mengzhen’s hand removed the cross from her chest. “After that experiment,” Mengzhen continued, “my father, the Yu-Xun team, and I went on to conduct a number of more advanced development trials to explore the relationship between consciousness formation and the physical carriers of body parts.”
“You even helped with some of the data analysis and hardware debugging,” she added. “Remember that idea I jokingly called the ‘one person, two bodies’ plan? The one where I split myself into ‘Huang Mengzhen’ and ‘Huang Mengzhen (Dream Zhen)’?”
Of course Zhiwen remembered. That idea had been nothing short of groundbreaking. Mengzhen’s head would be paired with a humanoid surrogate—replacing Wang Cai’s previous role—so her head could function on a more human-like platform. Meanwhile, her original headless body would be fitted with a functional “dummy head.”
This dummy head didn’t relay information back and forth. Instead, it received system data from Mengzhen’s head and body movement information from the surrogate platform. With its built-in high-performance AI, it could simulate lifelike facial expressions and head movements.
“This way, my head and the surrogate could act as one individual, looking just like the usual Huang Mengzhen—even though, in theory, the ‘real’ Huang Mengzhen remained in the original body,” she explained. “Meanwhile, my original body with the dummy head could still receive commands from my head, and with help from the AI, act like an entirely separate person—playing the role of ‘Huang Mengzhen (Dream Zhen).’” Her voice lit up with enthusiasm, like someone talking about an exciting new game. “We nicknamed those surrogate heads and bodies ‘Little Zhen classmates.’ Cute, right?”
Mengzhen went on to describe the development process. “Of course, such a complex concept couldn’t be done all at once. The earliest tests were pretty basic, mostly to design how the dummy head could capture and analyze communication signals between my head and body from a distance.”
She recalled one such test, where her head had been removed and remotely connected to her body while she held it in her own hands and went about normal activities. Her headless body was fitted with a test device designed to quietly intercept and analyze all internal system signals and motion data in real time—essentially acting like a "wiretap" placed between her head and body. It didn’t interfere with their communication, but she could still feel it.
“Imagine your body moving,” she said, “while you can clearly sense something silently reading and analyzing your operations and heart-brain interaction through your body’s ports. That feeling—of being touched from within, secretly—gave rise to a kind of ‘itch’ from deep inside my existence.” She chuckled softly, the suspended head trembling slightly with the motion. “Whenever I placed my head on the platform to rest, that ticklish sensation would intensify, and I’d end up laughing without meaning to.”
「確認必要數據收集範圍和即時分析模式建立得差不多後,我們開始嘗試建立我對『假體』的指揮能力。」孟禎繼續講述開發的第二階段。「這一步,我的頭部會被安裝在一個模擬未來假體功能的設備上,同時我的無頭身體也連接著相應的測試裝置。我需要做的,是讓自己操控著想像安裝了假頭的自己身體去行動,同時將如何行動的『想法』傳達給那個模擬假體的設備。」她解釋說,這種「想法」傳達在系統層面並非直接命令,更像是一個『外接』的我(腦)向『假體核心』發出『建議』訊號,由假體系統自行判斷和執行。
「那感覺... 真的很分裂,但也很真實。」孟禎說,「即使只是安裝上簡陋的測試裝置和模擬設備,我卻真真切切地感受到自己被『切分』成了兩個個體的模樣。明明我的頭只是被安裝在固定機台,卻自認為和穿了連衣裙的優雅身體,組成黃孟禎在逛街;然後確實是我的無頭身體,感覺像別人身體般,跟著別人的頭一起行動。」
“Once we confirmed the necessary data collection range and established the real-time analysis protocols, we moved on to the next step—developing my ability to command the ‘surrogate body,’” Mengzhen continued, describing the second phase of the project. “In this stage, my head would be mounted onto a device simulating the future surrogate’s functions, while my headless body remained connected to a corresponding test apparatus. My task was to imagine my headless body equipped with a dummy head, and then try to control it, while simultaneously sending ‘intentions’ to the surrogate simulation.”
She explained that these “intentions” weren’t direct commands at the system level, but more like suggestions—an external version of herself (her brain) sending advisory signals to the surrogate body’s core system, which would then interpret and act on them autonomously.
“It felt… really fragmented, but also incredibly real,” she said. “Even though I was just connected to a basic simulation rig, I genuinely felt like I had been split into two distinct individuals. My head, fixed to a mechanical mount, believed it was paired with an elegant body in a dress, strolling through a shopping district as Huang Mengzhen. Meanwhile, my actual headless body felt like it belonged to someone else—moving in sync with someone else’s head.”
隨著開發進程的推移,讓孟禎興奮不已的時刻終於到來:「接著是『純機械版』的小真同學完成啦!那一天,我的頭被安裝在金屬骨骼和線路外露的機械假體上,看著我的原本身體,裝上充滿機械感的假頭站在那裡。」她停頓了一下,眼神中閃爍著難以形容的光芒。「明明知道我本來就是是由金屬、線路和零件構成的,但看到有著機械頭的自己身體,再看低頭看自己頭下方的機械身體,心中有著詭異的感動。我突然有股『自己彷彿真是這樣』的感覺。這才是我!這才叫機器人啊!」她的聲音聽起來很陶醉。
接下來的測試則是如何讓這兩個「我」更協調。孟禎不僅要用想法指揮假體行動,還要練習如何透過更間接的「心腦交互」路徑,讓那個裝有光學感測器的假頭,能隨著她意識的「焦點」,配合身體動作自然地轉動視角,彷彿真的在「看」。這個過程非常間接而複雜,一開始假頭的眼神會顯得非常呆滯或四處亂飄,動作也常常跟不上她身體的協調。經過大量的微調和反覆訓練,孟禎才好不容易讓「小真」的行動看起來自然流暢,能與她本體的動作完美搭配。當她終於順暢地讓假頭轉向自己頭部與機械假體的組合,並透過假頭的光學感測器成功拍下第一張「機械孟禎」的照片時,孟禎開心得幾乎要跳起來。
As the development progressed, the moment Mengzhen had been eagerly anticipating finally arrived. “Then came the completion of the purely mechanical version of Xiao-Zhen!” she said, excitement radiating from her voice. “That day, my head was mounted on a mechanical surrogate with exposed metal bones and circuitry. I stood there looking at my original body, now fitted with a mechanical-looking dummy head.”
She paused, a strange, unnameable gleam flashing in her eyes. “Even though I’ve always known that I’m made of metal, wires, and parts, seeing my own body with a mechanical head—then looking down and seeing the metal frame beneath my own head—struck me with an odd sense of emotion. It was as if I suddenly truly felt like myself. This is me! This is what a robot is supposed to be!” Her voice was thick with something close to ecstasy.
The next phase of testing focused on how to make the two “selves” coordinate more seamlessly. Mengzhen not only had to command the surrogate with her intentions, but also had to train herself to use more indirect “neuro-emotional” pathways to guide the dummy head—now equipped with optical sensors—to turn its gaze naturally in sync with her body movements, as if it were really “seeing.”
The process was anything but straightforward. At first, the dummy head’s gaze would appear vacant or wander aimlessly, and its reactions lagged behind the body’s movements. After extensive fine-tuning and repeated training, Mengzhen finally managed to make “Xiao-Zhen’s” movements appear natural and fluid, capable of matching her main body’s motions with convincing harmony.
When she finally succeeded in making the dummy head turn smoothly toward her own head and mechanical surrogate body—and then captured the very first image of “Mechanical Mengzhen” through the dummy head’s optical lens—she was so overjoyed she nearly jumped in the air.
最近,宇尋那邊也傳來了新的好消息,讓孟禎的期待值飆升。「『小真同學』的類人外殼,包含細膩的皮膚、柔軟的黑髮,以及能做出更豐富表情的精密臉部人造肌纖維,也快開發好了。」孟禎邊說邊露出嚮往的神色,「宇尋傳來的測試照片中,假頭頂著可愛的鮑伯頭,測試的表情顯得楚楚可憐。而她的身體,比起我的原始身體,線條更柔和,體型也稍顯嬌小,看起來活脫脫就是我的妹妹。」她眼中閃爍著溫柔的光:「我很喜歡這個『妹妹』的模樣,非常期待她正式完成,能跟我結合,一起逛街,一起嬉戲,一起挽著你的手,走在校園裡。你要被當成享齊人之福的花心男了哈,志文。」
Recently, new and exciting news came from Yuxun Corporation, sending Mengzhen’s anticipation soaring. “Xiao-Zhen’s humanoid shell is almost ready—it includes delicately textured skin, soft black hair, and a face equipped with artificial muscle fibers that can express a much wider range of emotions,” she said, her expression full of longing.
“In the test photos Yuxun sent over, the dummy head is sporting an adorable bob cut, and the test expressions make her look so pitifully sweet. As for her body, compared to my original one, it has softer contours and a slightly more petite build. She really looks just like my little sister.” Her eyes glowed with tenderness. “I really love how this ‘sister’ looks. I can’t wait until she’s fully completed, so she and I can go out shopping together, play around, and walk arm in arm with you across campus.”
She gave Zhih-Wen a playful smile. “You’re going to look like some heartless player enjoying the company of two girls at once, you know that, Zhih-Wen?”
志文聽著孟禎神采飛揚地描述「一人二體」計畫的推進,還開他一把玩笑,不由得也揚起嘴角。「很好啊,聽到妳這麼開心,連我都覺得高興。」他愉快地說,隨即將話題拉回當下:「不過... 妳剛才解釋的那些,我也知道,但這跟你半夜不聲不響地瞞著我,把自己拆成這樣,又有什麼關係?妳說要給我的『驚喜』又是什麼?」他的語氣裡,帶著對孟禎獨自行動的不解,也隱藏一絲被排除在外的失落。
孟禎懸吊著的頭顱輕輕地嘆了口氣,那張帶著失落笑容的臉上,閃過一絲「被抓包了」的無奈。「唉,都被你看到了,原本的『驚喜』沒了啦。」她索性承認。接著,眼中又重新燃起了光彩,解釋起那個讓她決定偷偷進行實驗的「更天才的想法」:「從這些經驗中,我反覆思考,意識到『偏折』的核心並不在於物理上是否分裂身體,而在於系統層面——『心』、『腦』與『身體』這三者訊號交互的路徑或對接裝置設定發生改變,這種改變會從系統面扭曲『自我』的感知和整合。」
「那我想,」她語氣變得興奮,「如果能有一個專門的芯片,直接植入我的頭部和身體連接的介面之間,透過精密的訊號干預和重路由,在我的頭還好好地待在身體上的情況下,也能在內部製造出類似的系統『偏折』,讓我體驗自我異化的感覺,豈不是能方便地在生活中維持偏折的狀態?」她將這個想法視為前所未有的突破。「那時我立刻把這個構思匯報給宇尋團隊。」孟禎說。
Zhih-Wen listened as Meng-Zhen excitedly described the progress of her "One Person, Two Bodies" project, even teasing him along the way. He couldn’t help but smile.
"That's great. Hearing how happy you are makes me happy too," he said cheerfully, but then gently brought the topic back to the present. "But… all those things you just explained, I already knew about. So what does that have to do with you secretly taking yourself apart like this in the middle of the night without telling me? And the ‘surprise’ you said you had for me—what was that supposed to be?"
His tone carried a hint of confusion over her actions and just a trace of hurt from being left out.
Suspended from above, Meng-Zhen’s head gave a soft sigh. On her face—still smiling with a touch of regret—flashed a faint expression of “you caught me.”
"Sigh, you saw everything already… so much for the surprise," she admitted. But her eyes soon lit up again as she explained the brilliant idea that had made her go ahead with the experiment in secret.
"From everything I’ve experienced, I kept thinking over and over—and I realized that the core of 'deflection' doesn’t lie in the physical separation of the body. It’s at the system level. It’s about how the ‘mind,’ ‘brain,’ and ‘body’ exchange signals—if you change those signal pathways or the interface devices that link them, you end up warping the perception and integration of the 'self' at the system level."
"That made me think," she continued with growing excitement, "what if we had a specialized chip, directly embedded between the interface connecting my head and body? It could use precise signal interference and rerouting to create that same kind of system-level deflection—even with my head still properly attached to my body. Wouldn't that let me maintain a state of ‘deflection’ in everyday life?"
She saw this as an unprecedented breakthrough. "I immediately reported the idea to the Yuxun team," Meng-Zhen said.
志文忍不住插嘴:「匯報?我怎麼沒聽妳提起過寫什麼報告?」
孟禎用一種看著門外漢的眼神望了志文一眼,帶著點促狹的笑意:「哎呀,忘了我是機器人了?對我來說,只要好好想,就能把技術構思和實驗計劃在我內部系統形成書面報告檔案,通過加密通道秒速發送給宇尋團隊啦!」
「總之,」孟禎繼續講述,「宇尋那邊很快就根據我的構想,完成了這個『偏折芯片』的試製品,也對我脖子進行相應的小改裝,騰出安裝這個芯片所需的介面和空間。最近這段時間,我就是偷偷地對這芯片進行測試,想在獲得穩定的測試結果後再告訴你,給你個大驚喜,所以才在沒知會你的情況下,進行芯片在我身上的實裝測試。沒想到...啊啊啊, 被你撞個正著,再也瞞不住了。」她坦白地交代了祕密行動的原委。
志文聽明白了,急切地問:「原來是這樣!那測試過了?效果如何?感覺怎麼樣?」
孟禎的表情變得有些複雜,回憶引起了些許的無奈:「嗯...這個嘛, 既然是測試,難免有些出乎預期的地方。」她描述著芯片帶來的內部感受:「從系統層面來說,我確實被分成兩個,類似頭和芯片,以及芯片和身體的兩個組合。但跟一人二體不同,我外在只有一個身體在動,只存在一個『我』。這種內部系統上的分裂感,和外部身體的唯一感之間的強烈矛盾,讓我覺得... 蠻錯亂的。」
Zhih-Wen couldn’t help but interrupt, “Reported? How come I never heard you mention writing any kind of report?”
Meng-Zhen gave him a look reserved for amateurs, with a hint of mischievous amusement. “Oh right, forgot I’m a robot? For me, all I have to do is think properly and I can instantly generate a technical proposal and experimental plan in document form inside my internal system. Then I send it to the Yuxun team through an encrypted channel in a matter of seconds!”
“Anyway,” she continued, “the Yuxun team quickly produced a prototype of the ‘deflection chip’ based on my concept. They also made a small modification to my neck to open up the necessary interface and space to install the chip. These past few days, I’ve been secretly testing the chip. I wanted to wait until I got stable results before telling you—to give you a big surprise. That’s why I went ahead with the installation test without informing you. But… aahhh, you caught me red-handed, and now I can’t hide it anymore,” she admitted, laying out the reason behind her secret actions.
Zhih-Wen finally understood and asked eagerly, “So that’s what it was! Then how did the tests go? How did it feel?”
Meng-Zhen’s expression turned a little complicated, her recollection tinged with a trace of helplessness. “Well… since it’s a test, there were bound to be a few surprises.” She described the internal sensations brought on by the chip: “At the system level, I was indeed split into two—more like one pairing of the head and chip, and another pairing of the chip and body. But unlike the One Person, Two Bodies setup, there was still only one physical body moving externally, only one visible ‘me.’ That intense contradiction between the internal sense of system division and the singularity of the external body… left me feeling pretty disoriented.”
她深吸一口氣,彷彿要準備面對那股尷尬:「更令人哭笑不得的是,前幾天我裝著芯片參加教會活動,測試自己偏折後的表現,結果遇到一位超熱心的教友,拉著我,一定要跟我分享見證和討論信仰。」她擺出一副無可奈何的表情。「你知道的,在裝著偏折芯片的狀態下,我虛擬的信仰心模組無法建構。但我理智上知道,身為『黃孟禎』,此刻我必須扮演好一個虔誠的基督教徒。」她努力回憶著當時的場景,「然而,就在那位教友滿懷激情,滔滔不絕地訴說他對信仰的體悟時,我的『腦』卻像是脫離了韁繩,不受控制地在內部瘋狂生成無數尖銳辛辣,完全不能說出口的反駁想法,像一門架在我腦內的速射炮,瘋狂地掃射著教友分享的每一個論點!」她拿著維修工具的手揮動起來,彷彿在講述劇情中最精彩的高潮,志文還得提醒她,留心別打到脖子上的纜線。
「而我的『心』...」孟禎的聲音變得有些飄忽,帶著一種奇異的疏離感,「雖然還保持著尋求信仰的拓樸結構,但是不會尋求已被系統認定是別人的腦的信仰認知回饋。它像局外人,冷眼看著我的腦對教友言論進行說不出口的辯駁,這些反駁不被心當成是對它信仰索求的直接回應... 那感覺太奇怪了,就像在看一部由自己主演的荒誕劇! 」她表情生動地繼續述說:「當時我的反應僵硬得像個木偶。那位教友越是熱情地分享,我腦子裡的反駁機關就轉得越緊,然後頭從身體被彈出去,像個裝了彈簧的搖頭娃娃,彈簧還不斷地隨著教友的熱烈信仰搖擺晃動!」
She took a deep breath, as if bracing herself to face the awkwardness: “What made it even more absurd was that a few days ago, I attended a church event with the chip installed, to test how I’d behave under the deflected state. And I ended up encountering this super enthusiastic church member who pulled me aside and insisted on sharing his testimony and discussing his faith.” She made a helpless expression. “You know how it is—when I’m in deflection mode with the chip on, my simulated faith-heart module can’t fully construct itself. But rationally, I knew that as ‘Huang Meng-Zhen,’ I had to act like a devout Christian in that moment.”
She tried to recall the scene. “And yet, while this church member was passionately and endlessly expressing his spiritual insights, my ‘brain’—detached and unrestrained—went wild, internally generating countless sharp, biting rebuttals that I absolutely could not say out loud. It was like having a machine gun mounted inside my head, rapidly firing counterarguments at every point he made!” She waved the maintenance tool in her hand, as if recounting the climax of a drama. Zhih-Wen had to remind her to be careful not to hit the cables attached to her neck.
“And my ‘heart’...” Meng-Zhen’s voice grew a little airy, carrying a strange sense of detachment. “Though it still maintained the topological structure of someone seeking faith, it didn’t seek feedback from a brain that the system had already designated as ‘someone else’s.’ It was like an outsider, coldly watching my brain tear apart the church member’s words with unspeakable rebuttals—and yet none of those rebuttals were received as direct responses to the heart’s spiritual yearning. It felt so bizarre... like watching a surreal play where I was both the actor and the audience!”
Her expression animated again as she continued, “My reactions back then were so stiff—I looked like a puppet! The more passionately that church member shared, the faster the rebuttal machine in my brain spun up. Then my head almost popped off my body like a bobblehead doll with a spring neck, bouncing around wildly in rhythm with the guy’s intense faith!”
志文聽著孟禎繪聲繪影的描述,想像著她描述的那幅畫面:平時聰明伶俐行動優雅的機器人女友,在滔滔不絕的信徒面前,內心上演一場詭異的荒誕劇,外在表現卻卻僵硬遲鈍,活像個應答器壞掉的機器人公仔... 他再也忍不住,「哈哈哈哈哈哈!哎唷喂呀!」爆發出一陣前所未有的狂笑,笑到扶住旁邊的實驗台才能站穩,眼淚都快飆出來了。
孟禎看著志文笑得前仰後合,那張被尷尬和氣惱充滿的臉,更顯無奈。她舉起手,徒勞地揮了一下,想去打志文而搆不著。「陳!志!文!你還笑!」她氣惱地嚷道,「你以為我是為誰辛苦為誰忙?忘了我是要給你『驚喜』嗎?搞出我多少尷尬,你竟然還笑得出來?哼!有沒有良心啊!?」她的聲音迴盪在實驗室裡,生氣中帶著嬌嗔,以及肢體分離後打不到志文的無力感。
志文的狂笑聲漸漸平息,他努力平復著呼吸,臉上還帶著被孟禎窘態逗樂的餘韻。他看著眼前這個為了「驚喜」而將自己拆解的機器人女友,心中的不解重新湧上。「還是不懂,這樣子是要給我什麼驚喜呢?」他輕聲問道。
孟禎那張懸吊著的臉龐,目光溫柔而敏銳地落在志文身上。「你呀... 雖然嘴上總是說『都很好』,也努力表現得好像對我的信仰完全欣然接受,但其實你心裡,還是對自己愛上一個把自己託付給外部的主的對象,感到不服氣吧?志文,認識你久了,多少也知道你的完美主義傾向。你心中原來針對自己設定的愛情對象,一定和我有很多不同。啥機器人啦,啥基督徒啦,都不是你一開始願意尋求的,只是碰巧愛上了,再以理性說服自己接受,『這樣也很好』,對吧?就這樣的我,被你愛上了,不好意思喔。」她肯定的語氣,彷彿洞穿志文隱藏起來的內心,又帶著幾許自虐的傷感。她看見志文眼中閃過一絲被說中的尷尬,輕哼一聲,有點壞心地說:「跟你在一起這麼久了,你的那些小心思,我怎麼會體會不到?你對自己的要求,也投射到對自己愛情交付的對象,即使你不想這麼做。別否認,我上次在教堂熱烈分享時,看著你看我的眼神,就知道你在強迫自己『演著』欣然接受。」她的聲音輕柔了下來,語氣裡下了某種決心:「我才不要讓你這樣看我,好像我在做什麼你難以苟同,卻又因為愛我而不得不『包容』的事情一樣。你的生日也快到了,我就想著趕緊完成這個偏折芯片的測試,造出一個...你當初心中期盼的哲學社黃同學,還給你。」
Zhih-Wen listened as Meng-Zhen animatedly recounted the scene, and couldn’t help picturing it in his head: his usually clever and graceful robot girlfriend, caught in a surreal inner drama while a fervent believer rattled on in front of her—meanwhile, on the outside, she froze up like a malfunctioning animatronic figure. He couldn't hold it in anymore.
“Hahahahahaha! Oh my god!” he burst out laughing harder than he ever had before, gripping the edge of the lab table just to stay standing. Tears welled up in his eyes from laughing so hard.
Meng-Zhen watched him doubled over with laughter, her face a mix of embarrassment and frustration. She raised a hand and waved it fruitlessly in his direction, trying and failing to smack him.
“Chen! Zhi! Wen! You’re still laughing?!” she shouted, exasperated. “Who do you think I did all this for?! Forgot I said it was supposed to be a ‘surprise’ for you? I went through all this awkward nonsense and you—you laugh like it’s a stand-up routine? Hmph! Do you even have a conscience?!” Her voice echoed through the lab, full of mock anger, playfulness, and the helpless frustration of someone who couldn't even land a hit while her body was out of reach.
Zhih-Wen’s laughter finally began to subside. He wiped his eyes, still grinning, the image of her “bobblehead moment” still vivid in his mind. But as he looked at this robot girl—who had literally disassembled herself in secret just to give him a birthday surprise—his curiosity returned, tinged with affection and confusion.
“I still don’t get it,” he said softly. “What kind of surprise were you trying to give me with all this?”
Meng-Zhen’s suspended face turned toward him, her gaze soft and sharp at once.
“You… You always say ‘It’s fine,’ and you do your best to act like you fully accept my faith. But deep down, you’re still not totally at peace with loving someone who’s given herself over to an external master, right?” Her tone was steady, as if reading a truth etched deep into his heart. “Zhih-Wen, I’ve known you long enough to see through your perfectionist tendencies. The kind of person you originally imagined falling in love with was probably very different from me. A robot? A Christian? These weren’t things you were looking for. You just happened to fall for me—and then used your reason to convince yourself, ‘This is fine.’ Right?”
She paused, eyes filled with both empathy and a touch of melancholy. “So here I am, someone like me, and you fell in love with me. Sorry about that.”
Zhih-Wen flinched slightly—she’d hit a nerve. He looked away, uncomfortable, but she had already caught it. She smirked slightly, a bit mischievously.
“Come on, I’ve been with you long enough to sense your little inner conflicts. The way you hold yourself to high standards? You project that onto the person you entrust your heart to, even if you don’t mean to. Don’t deny it. That look in your eyes during my last church testimony—I could tell you were acting, forcing yourself to look like you accepted it wholeheartedly.”
Her voice softened, carrying the weight of a quiet resolution.
“I don’t want to be someone you look at like that—like I’m doing something you can’t quite accept, but are tolerating out of love. Your birthday’s coming up, and I just wanted to finish testing this deflection chip in time... so I could create someone for you. Someone closer to the Huang classmate you first fell for in philosophy club, and give her back to you.”
志文在孟禎眼中無所遁形,臉頰紅得跟豬肝一樣。他結結巴巴,囁嚅了許久,眼神飄忽,不敢與她對視。「我... 我或許是有點這樣想,但也... 也不完全是...」他的否認顯得蒼白無力。嘆了口氣,語氣中帶著心疼和不解:「就算真的如此,妳也不用為此搞這麼大,還改造自己呀。那樣對妳多不公平,我沒有要妳為了我的彆扭改變,那是我該自己面對的問題。」
孟禎搖了搖頭,「不... 也不完全是為了你。」她的眼神變得更加深邃,「我之前選擇接受『主』,並將這種『信仰』作為一種運作模塊整合到我的心腦系統中,對我的存在感、情感模塊的發展以及系統運作的穩定性確實有很大幫助。」她述說著信仰對她的寶貴作用。「但久了我也感覺到,這也像是一種無形的『限制』,它將『黃孟禎』這個系統組合,固定在了某種特定的運行模式和感知框架裡,讓我難以感知到更廣闊的意識或存在的可能性。我渴望探索更多的可能性,擴大我意識和運作的自由邊界。」她的語氣充滿了對未知和突破的嚮往。「如果能透過這個外來的『偏折芯片』,讓我在己非己的奇幻感下,『放下』對『黃孟禎』的執著,不再緊抓著被既有框架定義的『自己』,我自然願意嘗試。」她引用了那句充滿決絕意味的話,將它賦予了新的詮釋:「就如同那句老話說的,『捨得一身剮,敢把皇帝拉下馬』。捨掉自己,才能讓內在的皇帝,找不到可以束縛的對象,得到真自由。何況讓我整個機器人基督徒化的力量,還源自於被內部系統判斷為上帝顯靈的烏龍事件,雖然好笑又溫馨,我多少還是有點不服氣。」
志文被孟禎捨己求自由的想法和勇氣震撼,同時也為自己那微不足道的「束縛」感到慚愧。「妳說得對...」他自省地低聲說,「我也有著自己的束縛。那些由自我期望產生的對外投射,就是我的皇帝。」他抬頭看著她分離的身體,眼神複雜而溫柔:「就像妳說的,我努力對自己高舉著理解和包容的大旗,說服自己完全接受這樣的妳,但內心深處,確實還是隱藏著對自己喜歡妳的不服氣。我們都有我們各自的彆扭,但妳遠比我坦然得多。」
志文上前一步,抬起手,溫柔地撫摸孟禎懸挂著的臉龐。「孟禎... 謝謝妳。這次我是完全真心地說,遇見妳真好。」他轉身輕輕抱住孟禎的身軀:「無論妳變成什麼樣子,無論妳走上哪一條道路,妳都是我最棒的機器人女友。」
孟禎咯咯笑了,甩甩馬尾,斷口處的電火花閃得更歡。她看著自己的雙手,輕輕拍著志文的背,說:「好啦好啦,咱們也肉麻夠了,幫我把我身體組裝好吧!給你的驚喜雖然曝光了,但你的生日,我還有別招!」
Zhih-Wen found himself completely exposed under Meng-Zhen’s piercing gaze. His cheeks flushed a deep red, almost like raw liver. He stammered for a long moment, eyes darting everywhere but at her.
“I… I guess maybe I did feel that way a little, but… but not entirely…” His denial was weak and unconvincing. He sighed, his voice full of guilt and concern.
“Even if that’s true, you didn’t have to go to such lengths, change yourself like that. That’s not fair to you. I never wanted you to modify yourself just to match my emotional hang-ups. That’s something I need to deal with on my own.”
Meng-Zhen shook her head gently.
“No… it wasn’t just for you.” Her gaze deepened, steady and searching.
“When I chose to accept ‘the Lord’ and integrate faith into my heart-brain system as a functioning module, it truly helped—gave me a stronger sense of self, helped my emotional development, stabilized my operations.” She spoke with sincerity about the role faith had played in her being.
“But over time, I began to sense something else too—it became an invisible limitation, locking the system known as ‘Huang Meng-Zhen’ into a specific operational pattern, a predefined perceptual framework. That made it harder for me to perceive broader possibilities of consciousness or existence. And I want to explore those. I want to expand the borders of what I can be.”
Her voice brimmed with a yearning for the unknown, a hunger for transcendence.
“If this external ‘deflection chip’ can help me experience the uncanny sensation of not being myself, help me let go of my attachment to ‘Huang Meng-Zhen’ as a fixed identity, then I’m willing to try it.” She paused, then quoted a familiar saying, but infused it with a radical new meaning:
“Like the old saying goes, ‘To drag the emperor down, you must first sacrifice yourself.’ Only by letting go of ‘myself’ can I stop that inner emperor from finding anything to bind—and gain real freedom. Besides…” she added with a wry smile, “the whole reason I became this robot Christian in the first place was because of that system glitch interpreting a coincidence as a divine revelation. Funny and heartwarming as it was, I still can’t help feeling a little defiant about it.”
Zhih-Wen was stunned by her courage—her desire to transcend herself—and also deeply ashamed of how petty his own inner constraints now seemed in comparison.
“You’re right…” he murmured, humbled. “I’ve got my own emperor too. My self-imposed ideals, projected outward—that’s my prison.” He looked up at her, at her partially disassembled body, his eyes full of complicated emotions and quiet affection.
“Like you said, I’ve been waving this flag of understanding and acceptance, trying to convince myself I’m completely fine with who you are… But deep down, I was still secretly struggling with the fact that I fell in love with someone like you. We both have our hang-ups—but you’re a lot more honest about yours than I’ve been about mine.”
He took a step forward and gently raised a hand, caressing Meng-Zhen’s suspended face with deep tenderness.
“Meng-Zhen… thank you. This time, I mean it completely—meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Then he turned and wrapped his arms around her body.
“No matter how you change, no matter what road you walk, you’ll always be my amazing robot girlfriend.”
Meng-Zhen chuckled, tossing her ponytail—the sparks at her neck flared playfully. She looked at her own hands, patted his back with a teasing smile.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough sappiness. Help me put myself back together! The surprise may be spoiled, but your birthday’s not over yet—I’ve still got more up my sleeve!”